The Unexpected
by CaptainSparrow09
Summary: After a surprising discovery in Philadelphia, Miles makes a decision that will change the group for good and causes Nora and Rachel to struggle with each other on the road to North Carolina. Meanwhile, Nora indulges Charlie by explaining her history with Miles.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own anyone you do not recognize. Everyone else belongs to Kripke and Abrams.

* * *

A fog was beginning to roll across the abandoned campground as Miles stood on the rotted porch of one of the cabins. He leaned against one of the beams supporting the roof, arms crossed over his chest, and stared out into the darkness. It was late and they had traveled far enough into the woods that he doubted any Militia soldiers would be coming to find them.

Behind him, the door to the cabin shut softly, and he glanced over to find Nora at his side. She wrapped her arms around herself, shivering slightly in the cool air. Wordlessly, he untangled his arms and slipped one over her shoulder, pulling her in close to him. She exhaled softly, then turned her head, and pressed her face into his chest.

Since leaving Illinois, these moments between them were rare. At first, there was still tension between them and neither was willing to make the first move. It was after her near death experience in Indiana and miraculous recovery in Ohio that Miles finally got his act together. From that point on, they tried to take advantage of any alone time that came their way. Then the past three days had everyone on edge and there had been no time to be together or to discuss what was happening. All they had were a few long, intense gazes which had them hoping-_knowing-_ that the other understood what was going through their heads at the time. Now, with this relatively safe interlude, she wanted to cling to him and not let go any time soon.

"Are they all asleep?"

"Yeah. Now it's your turn. I'll keep watch."

"I can't. I-I need to head out for a while."

He felt her tense against him, then slowly she peeled away to look up at him.

"What?"

"I need to go back. There's something I need to do before we leave in the morning."

"Tell me you're not going to Bass."

"I'm not. I'm not even going into the city. I just, I don't know how to explain it. I don't want to get into it right now." because he wasn't even sure his secret mission was going to be a success and there was no reason to fill her in, get her hopes up, then have it all come crashing down again. "I'm not going to be gone long. Two, maybe three hours tops. Give Charlie the next watch. I don't want Aaron or Rachel involved and I don't feel Danny is capable of protecting four other people if he suddenly needed to."

"What could possibly be so important?"

"I'll explain everything when I get back."

"You can't tell me now?"

"No. It's better this way." he smirked a little, turning so they were chest-to-chest. He pulled her back to him, both arms wrapping around her thin waist. "You never did like surprises."

"Miles, a puppy is a surprise. You waltzing back into an area where you're the most wanted man is suicide."

"I don't waltz. I'm not going into the city. I just need to pick something up. And trust me when I say it is worth it."

She stared up at him, trying to decipher the situation.

"I didn't think we were going to make it out of the past couple days. Now, we have and we're all safe, and you want to toy with that." she said quietly. "You can't even give me a little hint so I'm not worrying?"

"I can handle myself. You know that." he brought one hand up, brushed away the hair that had fallen out of her messy bun, and kissed her quickly but firmly. "There's nothing to worry about."

"Why do I doubt that?"

"I'll see you in a little bit." another kiss, then he stepped away from her and off the porch. She took up his previous position of leaning on the porch, watching as he disappeared into the fog. She propped her elbows onto railing, and pressed her face into her hands.

She hadn't wanted to come back to Philadelphia in the first place. It had been pure adrenaline and the complete longing to see Miles-no matter how angry she was at him- for the first time in four years that had made her agree to the whole plan. But once the novelty of all that wore off and she was faced with the thoughts she had buried deep inside, her determinism faded with each step she took east. Finally, the night before infiltrating the city, Miles had found her huddled on the side of one building, away from the rest of their group, and close to having a panic attack. Philadelphia was the last place in the world she wanted to be. But she would follow him to the ends of the earth, had made a promise to Charlie, and she refused to let her past keep a hold on her life.

* * *

Miles stood still as he waited outside the abandoned warehouse, though his eyes were constantly on the move and scanned over the area several times. He hoped he had nothing to worry about. He hoped he had been threatening enough that she took him seriously and knew to do what he said. Still, there was a part of him that assumed a group of Militia soldiers would be greeting him rather than Julia Neville. He knew he was risking everything for this but he couldn't turn back.

The sound of dead leaves and twigs crunching caught his attention and as a precaution, his hand flew to the sword at his hip. He relaxed slightly as Julia appeared around the side of the warehouse. She stopped a few feet in front of him and squared her shoulders, trying to pass off the anxiety she was currently feeling. She glanced around their surroundings, as if she was looking for someone to jump out of the trees and arrest them.

"I thought maybe you weren't going to show." he muttered. She shrugged slightly and focused her steely gaze at him.

"What can I say? You made a convincing argument."

"Aunt Julia, what's going on?" the voice between them was quiet, catching both their attention. Miles looked down at the young boy who grasped her hand tightly. Julia smiled and knelt down next to him.

"You are going on an adventure. Doesn't that sound like fun?" she asked. He frowned, then tilted his head up to look at Miles.

"Why?"

"Well, we all decided that it would be better and safer for you if you went away for a little bit. Remember how you heard your dad and Uncle Tom talking about the other armies? We don't want you getting involved in anything. Miles is an old friend of your dad and is going to look after you with a few of his friends."

"Are you coming with me?"

"No, honey, I'm not."

"What about Mom and Dad?"

"They have to stay here." her response made him frown and look down at his shoes. "Hey, Alex, it's okay. It's only for a little while."

"They didn't say goodbye to me."

"I know and they wanted to but you know sometimes they can't be here. But they love you very much. That's why you have to go. We want you safe." she slipped the small backpack off her shoulder and arranged it over his own. "And you're going to have a great time. I promise. Plus, all your favorites are in the bag and I put in some of those brownies we made yesterday."

"Even Ollie?"

"Even Ollie. I want you on your best behavior. Use your manners. I don't want to hear you were being bad." she smiled slightly and brushed his dark hair off his forehead. "You're going to be okay."

She gave him a quick kiss on the forehead and stood up. She brushed her hands on her jeans and avoided looking Miles directly in the eye.

"I need to get back before Tom does."

"You'll be okay?"

"Like you care?"

Miles couldn't argue with that point. She started to walk away but he called out to her, causing her to turn her head slightly in his direction.

"Thanks." his voice was quiet but the statement sincere. She hesitated, then responded,

"I am sorry. Things were different then."

After that, she disappeared into the darkness, and he waited until her footsteps faded to focus on Alex. He knelt down slowly next to the boy, balanced his arm on his knee, and observed him for a silent moment. Alex still had his head downcast and his right foot was scuffing at the dirt. Miles could tell by the expression on his face that he was trying hard not to cry. He imagined that it had to be difficult believing you were in a safe environment with someone who apparently cared for you, only to be dropped unceremoniously into the woods with a stranger. If he was six years old, Miles would have been crying too.

"Hey," he hesitantly put a hand under his chin, surprised and relieved when the boy didn't pull away. His head lifted and he sniffed loudly, staring at Miles with watery, chocolate eyes. "This all kind of sucks, doesn't it?"

"Aunt Julia says you're not supposed to say that."

Miles held back a smirk. It had been quite some time since he had dealt with a child. He would have to learn to curb his language apparently.

"What I mean is, this isn't all that great. I know and I'm sorry that this is happening but I promise you, you've got nothing to worry about kid."

"My name's Alex."

"I know."

"Are... are you really friends with my dad?"

Miles hesitated only momentarily, hoped Alex didn't realize that, and nodded slowly, "Yeah, yeah, I am."

He let out another loud snort in response and wiped his runny nose with the sleeve of his jacket.

"I bet you had a long night."

"We walked really far."

"I can imagine. My place is pretty far too so is it okay if I carry you? We'll get there quicker and you can even sleep. You're probably tired."

Alex seemed to consider this, then nodded, which sent his dark hair flopping into his eyes. He shrugged his backpack off and silently dug through it until he pulled out a worn stuffed animal.

"Can you hold Ollie?"

Miles accepted the toy, turning it over in his hands as he put his backpack on once more. Once he was ready, he took his dog back, then allowed Miles to lift him up. To the older man, he weighed barely nothing and settled easily against his chest. They had only been walking about ten minutes or so when Miles felt Alex relax in his hold and his breathing evened out. His head was buried in his shoulder against the side of his neck and one arm was thrown loosely over his shoulder as well. Miles tightened his grasp on the boy and tried to ignore the tears stinging at the corners of his eyes. He failed miserably.

* * *

By the time they reached the cabin, his arms were burning with a dull ache, but he hardly registered that fact. He was surprised to see Nora sitting on porch and she slowly stood as she saw him approaching.

"Aren't you cold out here?"

"I was keeping watch."

"There are windows aren't there?"

She tilted her head in a half nod. At the moment she could care less about the temperature or cabins or windows. What she did care about was the fact he had been gone almost three hours and had returned with a small child.

"You said you were going to explain everything." she reminded, eyes locked on the sleeping boy.

"And I'm going to. Let's get him inside though."

He moved past her into the cabin, trying to be as quiet as possible. The other four were asleep and he wanted to keep it that way. They could get their explanations in the morning. Slowly, Miles eased Alex onto the cot in the corner and pulled the rough blanket over him. Alex sighed softly and curled onto his side, holding Ollie tightly to his chest. Nora stood next to Miles, eyes shifting between him and the boy.

"Explanations. Please."

"Come on." he led her back onto the porch and leaned against the wall of the cabin. She stared at him, waiting for him to begin. He stared back, trying to find his opening. "Last night, when I went to the Nevilles' house before heading to Tom's office, I expected to find Julia and maybe Jason. I found them. I was going to take Julia hostage, which I did. I wasn't expecting there to be someone else with them."

"You...you kidnapped Neville's son?"

"No." he took a deep breath and stepped forward, taking her hands in his. She tried to pull away but he held tighter. "Julia was with you the day Alex was born."

A pained expression formed on her face and she gritted her teeth at the mere mention of it.

"What does that-" she cut herself off and Miles could practically see the wheels turning inside her head. "No. No. I'm not, I _can't _deal with this. I don't-"

"Deal with what?"

"You disappear on some mystery mission for hours and you come back with a kid and you're telling me, expecting me to believe, that he-"

"I knew right away. The minute I saw him I knew it was him. There's no denying it and she confessed to everything."

"So you're saying that she, she what? Took him? Told me he was... that he was dead? And all this time has been raising him as her own?"

"Kind of. Bass plays a big part in it too, according to her."

"Bass."

"Yeah."

"Sebastian has been playing dad to our son."

"Apparently."

"Oh, well, that's just-" she stopped, trying to keep her tears at bay. She tapped her foot angrily into the porch and chewed at the inside of her cheek.

"Nora," his voice was barely above a whisper but it was enough to crack her emotions and she let out a sob, unable to hold it in anymore.

"You-you-you wouldn't lie?"

"No. No, baby, no." he stepped closer and lifted his hands to her face, wiping away the tears that had fallen. "Trust me, I wouldn't. Not about this."

"And you're sure? I mean, it's-it's not like we could-could get a paternity test."

"He doesn't need one. It was a huge shock when I saw him. Not only because I actually saw him but he looks so much like us. He's me but he has your eyes. And the kid's fucking adorable, absolutely gorgeous." a grin formed on his face as he talked about Alex, a flash of fatherly pride, and she smiled weakly back at him.

"It's really him?"

"It's really him."

"I want to see him." she tore away from him and quietly reentered the cabin. She sat down next to the cot and leaned in. His face was buried into the fur of the stuffed animal and she slowly pulled it away. Alex whined softly and twisted onto his back, hair sliding over his forehead. Miles sat down quietly behind her and looped an arm over her shoulder. She reached a hand out hesitantly but her fingers curled back at the last second.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't want to wake him." _and I'm terrified, _she added to herself. She heard him chuckle in her ear as he kissed the side of her head.

"Why don't you go get some sleep?"

"Sleep? Are you kidding?"

"We've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow. No use having you falling over trying to stay awake just because you wanted to watch him sleep."

"I noticed you omitted yourself from that statement."

"Someone has to keep watch. I don't want the others in on this yet."

"Then we'll take turns so you get some sleep too." she turned her head so they were facing each other and he leaned in, brushing his mouth over hers.

"I told you I'd fix this." he mumbled, pressing their foreheads together. "Everything's going to be okay now."

She nodded silently, kissing him in return. Her attention turned back to Alex and this time she lightly ran a hand over the side of his face. He hummed to himself, brought Ollie up to his nose once more, and went still.


	2. Chapter 2

Any hope that Nora had regarding a sweet, heartfelt reunion went out the window as she woke up to Miles's angry hiss of, "Will you shut the fuck up?"

This was followed by Aaron snapping, "You are a lunatic-a completely certifiable lunatic."

"Look, you don't even know what the hell you're talking about."

"It's pretty obvious! So unless you found him wandering outside, you _kidnapped _him."

"Stop. Saying. That." hearing his patience wearing thin, Nora chose that moment to sit up. Miles noticed immediately and tossed his hands up in frustration. "Good. You woke them up. Happy now?"

"Yes! They need to know that you screwed this all up! Is this some sort of negotiation plan or something? Is he one of their kids? We've got enough shit to deal with, with _helicopters _having the ability to _fly_, and Monroe's firing at us, hunting us down, and you want to drag a kid along? You are fucking crazy!"

From what Nora could gather, Aaron had woken up, seen Alex, and panicked. It had led to Charlie, Danny, and Rachel being woken up as well. Somehow Alex was the only one still asleep and despite everything happening around them, Nora distractedly wondered how he was a heavy sleeper. Miles could wake up at the drop of a pin and she herself wasn't exactly known for sleeping through anything.

"Do you see this?" Aaron asked, catching her attention. He was gesturing behind her. She had slept on the floor next to Alex and glanced over her shoulder at her sleeping son. She calmly turned back to Aaron and nodded.

"I know."

"Perfect. I should have known you'd take his side. You probably helped him too."

"Why don't you let him explain instead of jumping to conclusions?" Charlie suggested quietly. "I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation."

"Yeah, sure, I imagine there is. Because, even if he's not kidnapped, it's still a fantastic idea to tag a kid along with us on a death mission. Do you remember how it worked out with the Children of the Corn?"

"The way I remember it, that worked out fine. _You _even helped a few of them."

Charlie's reminder seemed to knock Aaron down a few pegs, yet he still scowled.

"If that was the case, why did he sneak out in the middle of the night to grab him?"

"Maybe because I knew you'd act like this." Miles shot back. "And sorry, but you're one of the last people I'd let have any authority in this group. I'm not going to clear my decisions with you first."

"I think bringing in a weak, dependent child into this mess, while we're on the run from the militia is a shitty idea. I'm sure the rest of them agree with me." he glanced around, looking for support. Rachel kept her head down. Danny looked as though he wasn't sure what to do-he had known Aaron forever after all but his uncle also didn't seem like a force to be reckoned with. Charlie and Nora merely glared at the computer tech. "Or maybe not. Fine. Get to it then."

Miles glanced at Nora, who shrugged slightly. They were all going to have to find out one way or the other.

"Probably should just come out and say it I guess." he said, running a hand through his hair. "He's mine."

"What do you mean he's yours?"

"He's my son."

"What?" the siblings chorused, jaws hanging open. Aaron looked just as surprised. Rachel looked as though she was going to melt into the cot she was sitting on. Charlie was staring at the boy-her cousin, she supposed, trying to look for physical evidence.

"_You? You _have a son?" Aaron wasn't able to hide his shock. Miles simply nodded. "How? I mean, who would want to?"

Miles raised an eyebrow-no one never accused of him of _not _being cocky.

"You're really asking that question? I'm pretty sure I've gotten laid more in six months than you ever did in your entire lifetime."

"Accident, then I suppose? Your endless stream of whores?"

Nora's eyes narrowed but before either herself or Miles could speak, a rustling noise from Alex changed everything.

"Mommy,"

Nora's heart jumped in her chest and she quickly turned to look at him. He was still lying down, half asleep and drowsy. But his eyes weren't on her. He was frowning-_God, that's a Miles face_- and looking between Charlie and Miles to where Rachel was partially hidden behind them. _No. No, no, no. _

"Mom,"

Now he stood, brushed past Nora without so much as a glance, and they all watched as he stopped in front of Rachel, who almost reluctantly raised her head. A slight smile passed over her face-a mixture of sweetness for Alex and guilt for the others. Charlie was glaring angrily at her uncle-_how could you?_, who shook his head slightly.

He gestured at Nora silently, hoping his niece would understand. He wasn't going to go into the matter now, not when Alex was awake and fully believed Rachel was his mother. The kid had gone through enough trauma for one night. Miles was a bastard but he wasn't going to break the news to his son like this. Hell, he prayed they found some sort of child psychologist along the way to help because how did you explain something like this to a six-year-old?

Nora stared for a full minute, watching as Rachel pulled Alex into a hug and whispered quietly into his ear. He kept his face hidden in her shoulder, arms tight around her waist, and Nora could see his body sag in relief.

"Is this for real?" Aaron asked, staring at Miles. He shook his head again, eyes on Nora. Her jaw was clenched tight, eyes narrowed, and finally she stood up and left the cabin, making sure to slam the door on her way out. Miles waited, listened as Alex mumbled,

"Are we going home now?"

The simple question ripped at him-a reminder of the lie he and Julia concocted-and he quietly turned and went to find Nora. She stood away from the cabin, near an old fire pit, and kicked at pine cones that had fallen from the trees. He stopped a few feet from her, hands in his pockets, and waited for her to confront him.

"I want you to tell me everything you know about what happened so I don't get any more surprises." she turned to him, eyes blazing with tears.

"I told you everything last night."

"So you didn't know about Rachel?"

"No. Don't you think I would have planned things a little better if I had?"

"I don't know. Maybe you could fill me in on this plan. What was the plan? Take him and bluntly drop the news on him?"

"Yeah, sort of."

"He's a kid!" she snapped angrily. He let her vent, not taking anything she said to heart. "You have no idea what that was like!"

"Yeah, I do."

"No, you do not! For that one split second, I thought, wow, this might actually work. Everything might be okay. As if there was some connection between us. And he was talking to _her_."

"You're not his only parent so yeah, I do get what you were thinking." he reminded her and that seemed to soften her a bit. Then the tears started to spill over.

"I wanted so, _so _bad to wake up this morning and for everything to be like this has been a nightmare. I just wanted to hold him and explain and let him know everything was okay now. We finally have him and I thought we'd never get that chance and I was so grateful that he was here and there was nothing standing in our way and _now_?"

"_I_ _know_." he closed the gap between them and held onto her tightly. "But we're going to fix it. I'm not going to let this go on. We'll explain everything."

"How? How are you going to look him in the eye and tell him everything he's ever thought is actually a lie?"

"We'll figure it out."

"I just don't see how." she caught sight of movement from the cabin and simply by the way she tensed up and her eyes narrowed he knew Rachel would be joining them any second. Nora stepped away from him and crossed her arms tightly over her chest, glaring at the older, blonde woman.

"Don't even think of coming near me. Honestly, it would be for your own good if you just went back inside."

"I want to apologize and explain. I never wanted to hurt anyone."

"So you thought participating in a kidnapping was a good way not to hurt anyone?"

"But that's not what happened."

"Well it was, no matter what way you twist it. I had four hours with him. _Four. _The next thing I know, Julia is saying all these things and drugging me up. I've had to deal with that ever since. Every single day I wondered about him, about what ifs and what could have been, _mourning _him, and now I find out you and Bass were playing house."

"I didn't know about any of that. I swear. It was Bass, the whole thing was him. He came to me later and said-said that you had died, that there were complications and Miles ran off. Someone needed to take care of Alex. I thought I was doing the right thing. I knew if anything ever happened to me and Ben that Miles would take Charlie and Danny in. I was being a good aunt."

"Yeah, well aunt and mother are two totally different roles. And forgive me if I don't believe that bullshit story you came up with. Because if it was true, you would never have let him believe you and Bass of all people were his parents. Did you ever attempt to explain? I know if my sister died and I took in her child, I would tell them all about their parents. Were we ever mentioned?"

"You don't understand."

"Save it. If you wanted a kid, you should have stayed with your own. You had no right to take mine."

"You know nothing about why I came to Philadelphia."

"Oh, believe me, I know more than you think, which is why I don't believe any of what you're saying."

* * *

Julia sat rigid in the dining room chair, listening to Tom and Bass's muffled voices out in the hallway. She knew it was only a matter of time before Bass came demanding answers. Sure enough, the door to the room banged open a minute later. He always seemed to look calm but there was an underlying aura of panic below that.

"Where's Alex?"

"I don't know. Someone came early this morning, Jason and Tom weren't here. They took him."

"And you didn't think to call for help, to let me know that my son was taken?"

"I was unconscious Sebastian," she shook her hair back, showing off the dark bruise on the side of her face, "otherwise I would have done everything in my power to stop them. I alerted Tom as soon as I found him."

"This was a few hours ago?"

"Yes."

"Then they couldn't have gotten far. Send out troops in all directions." he left the room and the door to the house slammed shut a few seconds later. Tom took a moment to observe his wife. She stared back blankly at him, allowing him to do his mental lie detector test.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing."

"I can't protect you if you don't tell me."

"I don't have any reason to need protection."

"He'll find out you had a hand in this and we'll both hang for it."

"Then go turn me in now. Spare yourself."

"I'd never."

"Then don't worry. There's no evidence to say I did anything."

* * *

Traveling was awkward. There was always a silence over the group as they walked but never like this. Typically, their time on the road seemed companionable but now it was tense and uncomfortable. Miles walked at the head of the group, leading the way towards the republic border. Rachel followed behind with Alex holding her hand tightly. Charlie was impressed at how well behaved he was being. She remembered the walk from Chicago to Sylvania Estates. She had not been as patient, nor had Danny. Her brother walked quietly now with Aaron and she could see his shoulders moving slowly as he did deep breathing exercises. Charlie brought up the rear with Nora, who had been glowering at Rachel ever since leaving the campground.

"Can you explain a couple things to me?" she asked quietly, keeping her voice low enough that none of the rest heard them.

"What?"

"You're his mother, right? I didn't interpret that wrong?"

There had been no further explanation at the cabin. The adults had reentered without a word, Miles gave the order to pack, and they set out on the road a half hour later.

"Right."

"So you and Miles."

"Yes."

"So, the day at the rebel base, the story you told me it was-"

"All a lie."

"Why?" Charlie didn't seem hurt, just curious. Nora glanced at her, then sighed, facing forward once more as they walked.

"After you and Miles got me out of the labor camp, he asked that I say nothing to you about our relationship. He didn't want you sticking your nose where it didn't belong."

"That's not-"

"Charlie, you remember how things were when we started this trip. You and Miles weren't like you are now. Maybe one day we would have explained things but at that point, the focus was on getting Danny. We didn't need our problems getting in the way of that. As you figured out, he's an extremely private person."

"Can I ask why you left Alex?"

"We didn't. After he was born, Miles had to go check on a border disturbance. I told him to leave, that neither of us were exactly going anywhere and he needed to do his job. I fell asleep a couple hours later and when I woke up, Alex was gone and Julia Neville and a nurse were there." she trailed off, lost in her thoughts. "I don't remember what they said exactly. Everything is hazy, probably because they gave me a sedative. I was in and out of consciousness for days. The next thing I knew, Miles was back and it was three weeks later. Monroe had taken care of all the arrangements, so he said, and didn't feel I was stable enough to deal with the loss and he knew Miles would be gone for days, even if he contacted him, it would still take him some time to return to Philadelphia. He thought he was being a good friend and sparing us the pain of having to bury our child."

There was a bitter smile on her face and Charlie remained silent, processing the information.

"After a few months, Miles tried to kill Monroe and we left the city. On the way, we fell apart and went our separate ways until recently." Nora finished. "So, yes, what I told you was a lie but it was also the closest I could get to baring my soul without going into details."

Charlie wasn't entirely sure how to react to the story. What exactly were you supposed to say?

"I didn't realize you and Miles were... so close."

"I told you we were together."

"I didn't think it was serious though, not enough to have a baby. Or, uh, was it an accident?"

"We weren't trying, if that's what you're asking, but it also wasn't a shock or regretted in any way."

"So you were serious."

"Very."

"How long were you together?"

Nora trained her eyes on Miles's back, wondering just exactly how far she should delve into her past. He turned slightly and locked his eyes on hers, as if he had known she was watching him. The corner of his mouth lifted in a slight smile, which she barely returned.

"I'm just curious," Charlie added.

"I met him two months after my twenty-first birthday."

"And how long ago was that?"

"Almost fifteen years now."

"You were together fifteen years?"

"Minus the past six and the four or five months it took him to get his head out of his ass, yeah pretty much."

"So... so, eight and a half years?"

"Give or take a few months, yeah."

"That's a long time."

"Yes it is."

"Now I'm really curious. It's a long walk to North Carolina." she smiled cheekily at the older woman, who laughed lightly.

"You can be downright insufferable at times, you know that?"

"Dad said that a lot."

"Alright. Where do you want me to start?"

"The beginning is nice. How did you meet?"

"It wasn't so much of a meeting as it was a... well, a rescuing really."

* * *

A/N: According to the Revolution Footnotes, Miles was born in 1981 and Nora in 1992 so I will be following that information.


	3. Chapter 3

**March 2013- Six months after the blackout**

"Nora, I'm cold." Mia's voice was soft as she shivered in her three layers of clothing. Her older sister barely glanced over; just yanked the Texas A&M sweatshirt over her head and handed it over. It didn't matter that it was was in the low fifties and she now only had a t-shirt and yoga pants on. Mia's well being mattered more than hers.

"Move a little closer to the fire." she nudged Mia forward slightly and wrapped her arms around herself. She was beginning to regret leaving Galveston. She had torn her father's house apart, unwilling to accept the fact that he could be dead. His neighbor-an older woman who had hidden away in her home- let Nora know she saw him leave with a bag on his back a few weeks after the blackout. There had to be some sign as to where he would have gone if the shit hit the fan. She had hoped he had gone to San Antonio, as desperate to find them as they were to find him. Instead she found a picture of a pretty blonde woman in too short shorts with a petite redhead in a bikini. Two names were scrawled in messy handwriting on the back: _Liv and Bridget_. Another picture showed her father with the blonde in an intimate embrace. Nora scrolled through the Rolodex and found under H- _Liv Hartley, 429 Paxton Lane, Indianapolis. _

It was then that Nora knew her father had not tried to find them, not worried in the least over his daughters, but would have rather wanted to get to his lover. As much as she despised him, she needed to get Mia somewhere safe and the fact the beach house had been broken into twice in just as many weeks throughout their stay, her father was the best option. If she had to go to Indiana to find him, so be it. She found a group of people in town gathering a caravan to head north and persuaded them to take her and Mia along.

Now, she was regretting the decision. She wanted to go back to San Antonio, even Galveston. She wanted a bed and someone to look after her. She knew she was the adult in the situation but she wanted to give the responsibility for someone else. They were in Kentucky, perhaps an hour or so from Lexington, and God only knew how long from her father. She would gladly hand the reins over to him. _And what if he's not there? _

The others in their group sat around the fire, speaking quietly about their next route in the morning. It was then that the world seemed to explode around them. Some of the others froze as the tents set on fire and shadowy figures burst out of the trees. Nora reacted on instinct. She grabbed Mia and raced for the nearest trees.

"Come on!" she tugged her hand hard, forcing her to keep up. Once they were far enough into the small woods, she hoisted her sister into a tree. "Keep climbing as far as you can go."

"What's going on?"

"Go. I'm right behind you." she glanced anxiously over her shoulder, heard the sounds of a fight and the screams of their companions and whoever the other people were. Scavengers? Psychos? It didn't matter. Mia disappeared above her into the branches and Nora found a knot in the trunk to place her foot on. She reached for a thick branch, ready to climb, and felt a hand tighten painfully around her ankle and tug her down. Her forehead smacked into the trunk, releasing a flurry of bark and opening a small wound near her hairline. She groaned softly but it quickly escalated to a shriek as coarse hands fumbled at her waist and slammed her back into the tree.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" a thick, southern accent purred roughly in her ear. "What you runnin' off for darlin'?"

"P-Please let me go." she made the mistake of looking up and met her captor's eye. It was hard to see in the dark but he didn't seem to be much older than she was.

"And let you miss all the fun? Nope, can't do that." there was a sliding sound as he slipped a dagger out of a sheath at his hip. "You're a pretty one. I'll take my time with you."

She felt the tip of the knife trail over her and somehow managed to hold back the whimper attempting to burst through her mouth. She struggled against him but he was at least twice her size and did nothing to overpower him.

"Shh..." he leaned further against her and pressed a forceful kiss against her mouth. He gripped her hair tightly in his free hand, not allowing her to move. She bit his lower lip hard and he jerked back in surprise. It was enough to knock him back an extra foot or so and she squeezed out of the small gap he created. "Stupid bitch,"

He raced after her and grabbed her by the wrist, threw her violently to the dirt. She screamed, squirmed, tried forcing him off her, but nothing worked.

"Shut up." he growled. She managed to throw one poorly aimed punch and caught him on the edge of his jaw. "Fuck. You're not worth it."

The pain she felt as the knife sunk into her side compared to no other. She released a blood curling scream and he stood, leaving her on the ground. He stood over her, sneering down at her, and said, "You should have played nicely darlin'. Guess your mama didn't teach you any manners."

He chuckled, as if he had said something funny, and lifted his foot to aim a kick at her. A loud shot resounded through the air and he fell sideways, landing in a crumpled heap at her feet.

"Holy shit,"

"Are there any more?"

Nora's vision swam as she tried to focus on the two figures standing near her.

"They ran off when you went all Rambo on them. I guess he wasn't so smart."

* * *

She lost consciousness as leaves crunched and one of them knelt down next to her.

She woke up with a scream, thrashing around violently.

"Whoa, whoa, calm down." a pair of hands gripped her shoulders gently, trying to restrain her.

"Let me go. Please, please let me go."

"I will but relax. You'll pull your stitches out and that's not going to be fun. Okay?" the hands still held her and she forced herself to nod, after which he released her. She kept her eyes shut tight, refusing to meet her captor's eyes again. She was breathing heavily and her side felt like it was on fire and she wanted to cry. Actually, she was crying. A few tears squeezed through her closed lids. A door's hinges groaned with a creak as it opened and she heard an irritable sigh from her captor.

"Nora?" the voice was Mia's and her eyes popped open.

"Dammit Bass, I told you to keep her downstairs."

"I tried but she was insistent. She wanted to see her."

"Well, she saw her. Now take her out. Jesus, she's like, eight. You're the adult. Show some authority."

"I'm ten." Mia sounded agitated at the misjudgment of her age. Bass, whoever he was, laughed cheerfully.

"Mia?" Nora struggled to sit up and the hands were on her again.

"I said to lie down. Stitches, remember?" this time she looked up and met a pair of brown eyes that were irritated and concerned at the same time, though he seemed more irritated than concerned.

"And I said to let go of me."

"Lighten up Miles. The kid got stabbed and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to wake up with you groping me either."

The comment had him backing off instantly, cheeks burning red. She did her best to glare at him and began to sit up slowly. She bit her lip at the flair of pain but forced herself to continue. She had to make sure her sister was okay.

"Nora, are you okay?" Mia asked again, fear creeping into her voice. Taking a moment to calm herself, Nora took a deep breath, then finally turned to look at her sister. She was standing in the doorway of the room, an older male next to her. She didn't seem hurt in anyway, just scared, and Nora did not like the way she clung to... Bass. That was his name. Dumb name. "Are you?"

"Y-Yeah," she stammered, smiling weakly. "Are you okay?"

Mia nodded silently, burying half her face in Bass's side.

"C'mon. She's okay. Let's get you something to eat now. We could probably make some s'mores." Bass tapped her lightly on the head. Nora narrowed her eyes at him. Mia seemed smitten though and looked up at him hopefully.

"You have s'mores?"

"Well, the best we can do is probably toast some marshmallows. Is that okay?"

Together they disappeared into the hallway, which Nora made an audible noise of protest at. She went to move out of the bed but Miles was standing once more, blocking her way.

"She's fine. Her maturity level is probably a bit higher than his but trust me when I say she's in good hands."

"I'm not inclined to trust any of you at the moment."

"True and that's smart but right now you've got seven poorly done stitches in your hip, blood loss, and maybe a concussion so it's probably smarter to just stay in bed."

"Why? So I'm an easy target and you can kill me?"

"Why would I waste the time of saving you if I was just going to kill you?"

"I don't know what your thought process is. I'm not a murderer."

"Neither am I."

She made a face that clearly said _I don't believe you_ and he really couldn't care less. He lifted his eyebrows and gestured at the bed and for a moment, she held her ground. He wasn't the boss of her. She was an adult. She could get out of bed if she damn well pleased. Then again, with his towering figure, strong arms, and no nonsense expression, he would probably bodily throw her back onto the bed and tie her down. She glared at him, which only made him smirk, and slowly moved her legs back under the blanket.

"Thank you for your cooperation. It's in your best interest. Tr-"

"If you say trust you one more time, I'll kick you in the nuts."

That elicited a laugh out of him and he walked across the room to where a small dresser took up a portion of the wall. He grabbed a bottle off the top and moved back to her.

"Here, drink this."

"No."

"It's water. You've been out for several hours. You need to drink."

"Sure it's water."

"Oh fuck. Are you going to be like this the whole time?"

"Maybe."

"Your gratitude overwhelms me. I really don't care. Drink it or don't. If you dehydrate, that's on you."

"I don't know you. For all I know you could be one of them and that's drugged to knock me back out and you can have your way with me."

"Okay. I'm the guy who saved your life. So you should give me some kind of credit. And... even though you don't want me to say it or hear it, I can honestly say that I wouldn't take time out of my day to nurse someone back to health just to torture them. Seems a bit redundant." he moved towards the window and slipped two fingers between the blinds, parting them to peer out into the dark. "Are you hungry?"

"No."

"Fine. Yell if you need anything." the blinds clanged against the window as he moved away. He left the room without another word, leaving her alone to glare at the spot he had been standing in.


	4. Chapter 4

Maybe she had been a little harsh. Despite whatever reservations Nora might have had, Miles was right. He and Bass had saved their lives. Neither of them seemed bad or evil in any way either. _Not everyone out there has bad intentions_.

She was hungry and thirsty. No point in spiting herself just to piss him off, which didn't seem as though it would happen anyway. But she wasn't going to sit around and wait for him to cater to her either. Slowly, she eased herself off the bed and gripped the side of the nightstand for support until the room stopped spinning. When she finally felt stable, she began to take small steps out of the room. She wondered where they were.

When she reached the hallway, she could hear muffled laughter from somewhere. At times, it sounded like Mia. Other times it was Bass. The hallway was dark and she took her time feeling her way along the wall to the stairs, then held the banister as she descended to the lower floor. It wasn't lit up much better but candles flickered in a doorway, casting a dim glow over the layout. She was in a house- a large house by the feel of the foyer she was standing in. To her left looked like an office and to her right was an open living room. Nora followed the candlelight to a kitchen and found Mia sitting at a table, stuffing her face with marshmallows. Bass was seated on her left side, Miles on her right, and another man sat across from her.

Miles saw her first, wobbling near the defunct refrigerator, and scowled, standing to grab her.

"You're going to be a pain in the ass, I can tell." he commented, forcing her gently into the open seat between himself and the nameless man. "I said yell if you needed anything."

"I'm not an invalid."

"Do you want some?" Mia held out the bag to her and she grabbed a handful, slowly popping them in her mouth one by one. She wanted to tell her to eat something with more substance but what options were there? She glanced around at the unfamiliar faces, not wanting to make eye contact for too long. Bass grinned when he caught her eye.

"We never were introduced. I'm Sebastian Monroe. Everyone calls me Bass." he leaned over the table, extending his hand. She shook it gently and returned the smile with forced politeness.

"Nora Clayton."

"Nice to meet you. The loser next to you is Miles Matheson and the poor bastard on your left is Jeremy Baker."

She looked at Jeremy, noted the bruises and cuts on his face, the way he winced any time he shifted in his chair, and wondered what happened to him. He gave a half smile but didn't say anything. Then, she turned her attention to Miles sitting with the chair up on two legs. His left knee was propped up against the edge of the table. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, then took a long sip of the beer in his hand.

"We've become well acquainted with Mia. She's a talker."

"I hope she wasn't annoying anyone." she gave her sister a look and received a scowl in return.

"Nope. Not at all. Are you feeling okay?"

"Kind of." then after a paused, she added, "Thanks."

"Figures. I'm the one who shot the guy and stitched her back together and _you're_ the one she thanks." Miles commented, though there was no malice in his tone.

"I have a way with women." Bass replied, waggling his eyebrows.

"Yeah, you wish."

Jeremy let out a low laugh which quickly turned into a groan. They all looked over to see him cradle his arm against his ribs.

"Kind of too soon to be laughing I guess." he muttered, flashing a quick smile.

"Maybe if you weren't so gruff, people would take a liking to you." Bass added, tipping his bottle in Miles's direction. "Not everyone has my ability to interpret jackass and realize there's a heart in there somewhere, however small and cold it might be."

"Ha ha."

"So, what were you doing at that campsite?" the question was aimed at Nora, who turned away from observing Miles to look at Bass.

"Just... trying to get somewhere safe."

"Probably safer where you were before." Miles commented.

"Yeah, thanks, I'm beginning to realize that." she snapped. As soon as the words left her mouth, she felt bad for having no patience. Still, she didn't need someone who she didn't know commenting on her decisions and the danger she put her sister in. He held up his hands in surrender and she caught him rolling his eyes at Bass. "What about you two? Why were you out there?"

"Looking for supplies. Heard the fight and Batman thought he could swoop in and save the day. We were grabbing you when Mia jumped out of the tree. Unfortunately one of the bastards ran off with your bags. The rooms upstairs seem fully stocked. Looks like a teenaged girl lived here and it doesn't seem like-"

"This isn't your house?" she interrupted. Bass looked slightly ashamed but shook his head. "You're squatting."

"It's not like they're coming back." Miles muttered.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing. We stopped at the first deserted house we could find. Jeremy needed somewhere to rest. We've been here about a week."

"This is illegal."

"So's stealing and killing but that's not stopping other people from doing it. In case you missed it, the world's kind of gone crazy. You need to do what you have to do in order to survive."

"So where are you from then?"

"Chicago originally. But we were in South Carolina- Parris Island. We're Marines." Bass explained. "Except Jeremy. We saved him too."

"You're real knights in shining armor." Nora commented dryly.

"Where are you girls going? Mia wouldn't say a word- said you told her not to share your business with others."

"She's right." she looked down at the tabletop, not wanting to say anymore. _They're Marines. You can trust them. _"Indianapolis. Our... our dad is there, I think. We're from San Antonio."

"Our mom is dead." Mia mumbled. The three men stared at her and Nora noted a look of pity on each of their faces.

"It was two months after the blackout. I took Mia to Galveston to find him but he wasn't there. I think he has... friends in Indianapolis. We left Galveston with a group of people about a month ago. Half the group was going to continue towards New York and a few others were heading for Canada. They were going to take us to Indiana."

"Well, we could take you." Bass offered. "We're going to Chicago to—ow, what the hell?"

He glared at Miles, who glared right back.

"It's okay. We don't need help. I thought safety in numbers was a good idea but it seems like that doesn't make a difference."

"Maybe you just weren't traveling with the right people."

* * *

After making sure Mia was asleep, Nora gingerly made her way out of the bedroom and out onto the stairs. She was hungry and her side was killing her. There had to be medication somewhere.

"Need something?"

"Jesus Christ!" she jumped nearly a foot in the air as she entered the kitchen and found Miles sitting in the same seat as earlier.

"Not quite." there was a hint of a smirk on his face and she scowled at him.

"Do you just typically sit up all night, waiting to scare people?"

"No. Bass and I have learned to sleep with one eye open so we're taking shifts to make sure no one breaks in here." he jerked his head in a nod. She turned to the low wall that divided the kitchen and living room to see Bass sprawled out on his stomach and snoring lightly. "How's your side?"

She grazed a hand over the wounded area and grimaced. He nodded absently and stood from the table. She slumped into one of the empty seats and watched as he grabbed a bag off the counter. He turned back to her and held out a bottle of Advil along with a bottle of water.

"Take two of those."

She accepted both wordlessly and stole a glance at the expiration date- two years from now. He smirked as she shook out the tablets and sat back in his chair.

"Thanks." she swallowed the medication and rubbed a hand over her forehead. "For... everything. I'm sorry for how rude I've been. I-"

"Don't sweat it. I'm not in it for the praise and glory." he waved his hand at her, cutting her off. "I'm not exactly a joy to be around either."

"No. Without you and Bass, Mia and I, we'd... well, anyway, just... thanks. I do, I do appreciate it."

"You're welcome. Listen, we'll take you to Indianapolis. It's just going to be a couple weeks until we leave. Bass is getting over being sick and Jeremy needs some more recuperating. Walking all that way with broken ribs isn't going to be fun. You need time to heal too."

"You don't have to. We don't need help. Really. I got us to Galveston just fine. It can't be much of a difference going from here to there."

"We're going that direction anyway."

"You didn't seem so keen on us coming with you earlier."

"You're going to need the help. But it's up to you. If you're in no rush to get to your father, then you're more than welcome to wait around for us to get our act together."


	5. Chapter 5

"You're not asleep are you?" Miles asked, catching sight of Nora stretched across the middle of the bed sideways as he entered the room. _Better not be asleep_, he thought, allowing his eyes to run over her prone form. He nudged the door shut with his foot and set the tray of food on the small table in the corner.

"No." the one syllable came out as a sigh and she pushed herself up onto her elbows to look at him. "That sort of smells appetizing."

"Good because it looks like shit. How did you know about this place?"

"I've stopped in for supplies before."

They were close to Allentown and stopped in a small town for the night. It had been Nora's suggestion to stop there, as there were some rebel sympathizers that could help them. Miles had protested vehemently until she reminded him they needed more supplies, seeing as everything they owned, minus their weapons, were currently sitting on the ground outside the power plant. Add in the fact it was getting colder, the sun was setting earlier, and Alex was not going to be able to keep up with them, they had to find a safe haven for the night. At some point earlier in the day, they sent Charlie into a nearby town to grab a map and they plotted their route.

They needed to stay as far away from Philadelphia as possible, a safe area to cross the river, and most importantly get the hell out of the Republic as quickly as possible. To get to North Carolina, they were going to have to take a roundabout route across the northern border of Pennsylvania, then through Ohio into Kentucky, where they would reach the Georgia Federation border. The rest of the way to North Carolina would hopefully be uneventful and a straight shot. It had been quite some time since Miles had been in Georgia and he wasn't sure what to expect from their army but it was better than dealing with Bass and the Militia.

That was how they found themselves holed up in an old bed and breakfast run by a couple who looked to be in their eighties. They had taken one room and the others piled into the room on their right with two twin beds.

"You know, eventually, we're going to run into Militia." she fell back onto the mattress, head hanging over the side. "It was luck that we didn't today."

"We had a good head start and kept out of sight. Even if Monroe sends people out, he won't have any way of warning posts out here. We'll be long gone before they get here or know what to look for. I just wish there was an easier way to get to that pendant."

"Me too. Did you check on them?" she lifted a hand and gestured at the wall dividing the two rooms.

"Yeah. I put Charlie in charge. She knows what to do if anything happens."

"Is Alex okay?" the question was a hesitant one and asked quietly.

"He was asleep." he paused, dropping the fork in his hand, and turned completely towards her. "Did you get any time with him today?"

"No." she snorted derisively. "Rachel acts like _I'm _the one who did wrong. I could practically hear her growling if I even took a step towards him. I felt like pushing her into a ditch and keep on walking. What about you?"

"A couple minutes. He's quiet."

"You're not exactly Mr. Chatterbox yourself." she rolled her eyes at the ceiling. The springs of the mattress groaned as he lowered himself down in front of her. "I was telling Charlie about how we met and I mentioned how-how Mia thought you guys were the best and how she was-was close to Bass. She said she couldn't picture him being friendly and nice to kids. It made me wonder what it's been like for him, if Bass and Rachel were good to him or they stuck him with a nanny or something or it's been completely awful."

"Unfortunately, he seems pretty attached to Rachel and he was upset about leaving when Julia gave him to me." he slipped a hand under both her knees, tugged her towards him gently. "As twisted as this sounds, I'm grateful that he seems to be taken care of. I don't know why they decided to do this and I will never be able to forgive that but they could have treated him far worse."

"We would have done better." she put a hand over her eyes, inhaled a deep breath, then slowly released it. "I don't want to think about it. I don't want to deal with this right now."

"Then don't."

"It's not that simple. I've tried so hard to push all these thoughts aside for years and now he's right on the other side of that wall and I can't help but worry and wonder."

"You just need a distraction." he moved his hands slowly up over her thighs and listened as she exhaled a low moan. A grin formed on his face at the reaction. "Is it working?"

"You're a terrible person."

"How am I a terrible person?"

"Because I'm trying to have a serious conversation and you'd rather have sex."

"You were the one who said you didn't want to deal with it. I'm just trying to help." he paused, ghosting the tips of his fingers over her hips now. "Then, there's also the fact that I've spent the last four months unable to touch you and it's been driving me crazy. I finally found an opening and I'm going to take it."

"What a charmer. You have touched me."

"Not like this."

The simple statement made her smile. It was true- trekking across half the country, injured a good portion of the time, and trying to avoid the Militia did not create an ideal scenario for sex. He suddenly pulled back from her, sitting up straight, and said,

"Unless you don't want to."

"I didn't say that. It's been a while."

"How long's a while?"

She sat up as well and ducked her head, not meeting his eye. His eyebrows raised in surprise.

"You haven't—really?"

"Is it all that surprising?"

"It's not like you... were being held to any sort of standard or law."

"Who says it had anything to do with you? I was selective before you, why would I suddenly turn into a tramp because you were gone? There was never an opportunity and even if there was, I wasn't entirely thrilled at the prospect of random, unprotected sex. We may have reverted to the dark ages but I still have morals."

And really, who the hell was she trying to fool? Her lack of love life had _everything _to do with him. No one, in her mind at least, compared to him.

"But, I understand you're a human being and have needs so if there was some long, never ending line of women at your door, don't feel ashamed."

"Right, because I was so interested in catching something." he rolled his eyes at the ceiling. "Not many opportunities while you're on the run for being a traitor to your country, then trying to stay out of the way."

"So, if there was an endless supply of condoms and you weren't a fugitive in the eyes of Sebastian Monroe, you'd have been doing anything with a vagina."

"I don't know why you think I'm some sort of man whore."

He wasn't Bass with the constant one night stands. He had three serious girlfriends in his life from his teen years to the blackout and then Nora.

"I didn't mean it like that. You're the one who said we weren't held to a standard, so I thought that was your way of telling me there was someone else."

"There was no one. Well, there was one but we never-she didn't want to and I respected that. It was more of a... companionship type of deal."

"So four years and that didn't bother you?"

"I handle things fine on my own. Been plenty of times where I've had to before."

"How has this not come up in four months?"

"I don't know. Did you really want to discuss our sex life with Aaron and Charlie?"

"Good point."

"Thought so." he muttered as he moved in to kiss her. "Honestly? I'm surprised we managed to last this long. Do you know how many times I thought of throwing everything down and dragging you off behind a bush somewhere?"

"How very caveman-like of you."

"Like you weren't thinking the same thing."

"Sex in the woods is never comfortable."

"Okay, so you were imagining a rundown Four Seasons, candlelight, a big bed chewed on by rats, maybe some roasted squirrel, twenty year old bottle of half-drunk whiskey." he stood up and tugged his shirt over his head.

"You know the way to my heart." she turned herself so she was lounging against the pillows and smiled at him, watching his movements.

"Unfortunately, this isn't the Four Seasons. Candlelight isn't too bad. The mattress actually looks pretty good," he paused in taking off his belt and gave the bed a slight kick, "I'm not too sure what's in that bowl. I think it's chicken. I'm _hoping _it's chicken. On the bad side, the octogenarians don't seem to believe in alcohol. You're not naked."

"Technically, neither are you," she gestured to his boxers with a raised eyebrow. "Was I supposed to undress myself?"

"I did."

"Yeah, because you were so eager to start. You didn't even give me a chance."

"All that time you were talking, you could have been seducing."

"Right. I'll remember that next time." she rolled her eyes at him, ignoring the smirk he gave her as he moved towards her.

"So I'm going to have to do this myself." he commented, sliding his hand over the front of her jeans. He fingered the zipper, keeping his eyes locked on hers.

"Oh, don't act like this is a chore for you. And yes, some foreplay would be nice after four years instead of just rushing into things."

There was nearly thirty seconds of silence between them, still staring at each other, and she moved her hips impatiently when he continued to toy with the zipper, then the waistband. He placed his left hand on her hip gently, holding her down, then slipped his right hand up under the hem of her tank top.

"What are you doing?"

"Thought you said you didn't want to rush into things."

"You don't have to move like a snail."

"Can't have it both ways baby."

She put a hand on his chest to move him away, and sat up enough to get her shirt off. He leaned back as she tossed it over his head and it landed somewhere near the table. She reached for her zipper but he brushed her hand away and pulled it down himself, then lifted her hips to slide the material down. He balled her jeans up and threw them over the side of the bed as she sunk into the mattress once more. He sat back for a moment, eyes roaming down the length of her body, then up again to catch her eye. Gone was the teasing between them. She flashed him a quick, almost shy smile and reached behind her head to pull the hair tie out.

"It's stupid but it almost feels like-like it's the first time we've done this."

"It's not stupid." he moved over her then and leaned down, kissing her fully on the mouth. She immediately responded, lips parting as she brought her arms around him. He pulled back slightly, grazing his knuckles across her cheek gently, and told her, "I missed you."

She felt her emotions swell at the statement, knowing she was one of only a few select people he could be so open and honest with and it had taken her quite some time to reach that status.

"I missed you too."

He kissed her again, then slowly moved elsewhere to allow his hands and mouth to become reacquainted with her. He moved down a familiar path, remembering the places that could garner a response from her. He pressed a soft kiss just above her bellybutton, nuzzling his nose against her, and felt her quiver. Then he chuckled, a muffled noise that made her frown.

"What?"

He lifted his head slightly, just enough to be able to see her.

"I'm the only one whose ever seen you like this." a smug expression was on his face. "To touch you like this."

"Does it make you feel good? Has your ego been stroked?"

"Well, I mean," he moved up so they were face to face, "originally, I was flattered that you wanted me to be your first, and then we just settled into life and that was it. But now? I'm so damn good that it was impossible for you to find a worthy replacement."

"It had nothing to do with you."

"You're a terrible liar."

"I know."

* * *

Charlie sat close to the fireplace, trying to soak up the heat from the dying embers. Danny was asleep in one bed, burrowed far beneath the blanket. Aaron sat at the table, reading over a book he had found downstairs. Rachel sat with Alex, watching him as he slept. She brushed a hand gently over his hair and he turned in his sleep, rolling towards her. Charlie watched as a faint smile formed on her mother's face and felt herself frown.

"Mom?" she kept her voice quiet, not wanting to wake her brother and cousin, or was it brother as well? How did this work? Rachel lifted her head and looked towards the end of the bed, where Charlie was situated.

"What is it Charlie?"

"Can we talk?"

"It's late, isn't it? You should get some sleep."

"I told Miles I'd keep watch and you don't seem to be getting any sleep either."

Aaron had enough sense to keep his head down and turned another page.

"You don't have to do everything Miles tells you." Rachel said. "You don't have to do anything."

"It's my job to look out for Danny. I'm not doing it because Miles asked me." she stood up and moved onto the bed but kept her distance. "I just want to talk. We've been together a day now and you've been more focused on Alex than me and Danny. We're your kids."

"Alex is a child and he's been forced into an uncomfortable and unfamiliar situation."

"Like we were when you left us?"

"You had your father. He only has me."

"No, he has parents and you're keeping him from them."

"Charlie, it doesn't matter what DNA someone has. What matters is who raises them, who makes them into the person they are. Alex is just as much my child as you and your brother are. They have had nothing to do with him."

"Against their will. Nora is miserable without him. She just wants to him back and I'm sure Miles feels the same."

"We are not discussing this."

"Why? Because it's the truth?"

"Because you don't understand what you've gotten yourself into. If you knew what they were really like, you wouldn't be so quick to sympathize with them. Trust me, it is better that Alex is with me."

* * *

"You were wrong before." Nora muttered tiredly. She lay on her side, head tucked under Miles's jaw, and trailed her hand lightly over his chest in lazy, nonsensical designs. He shifted slightly, one arm under his head, and the other wrapped around her shoulders. His fingers moved up and down her arm gently as he contemplated what she said. "Or right, I guess, since you called me on my bluff."

"About what?"

"When you said that we weren't held to a standard." she paused, lifted her head to look at him. "We're still married. It was never legally or officially dissolved. I know it's dumb. It's been six years and you were gone; we were done. I could never bring myself to take that step, to just act like it never happened. I'm not saying this to make you feel bad about whatever you did because it looked like we were never getting back together and divorce proceedings post-blackout weren't easy to come by. I think there was always a small part of me that hoped you would come back, like all those times before, even after you left again that time in Indiana. I wasn't ready to let go of you. I acted like you were away on a campaign. I hated thinking that you were such a big part of my life and it was over. After everything, I know you didn't deserve my loyalty or faithfulness but then it would really be finished if I wasn't."

He stared at her silently, a deep frown on his face, and she sighed, knowing what was coming.

"Again, I didn't say that to make you feel bad. I know I sound like a lovesick teenager but it's the truth and I wanted you to know that. I didn't need or want anyone else and I don't regret that I made the decision to be alone. I had other things to keep me occupied." she watched him, waited for a response. He opened his mouth, licked at his lower lip, then closed it. He brought his hand up to his eyes, then dropped it.

"I'm sorry."

"I know. That's why I put up with you." she brushed her hand over his cheek and smiled slightly. "As bad as things got sometimes, you were still the best thing to happen to me. That first night in Kentucky, I would never have guessed that we would have ended up here."

"That makes two of us then." he muttered. Her smile widened as she kissed him quickly. "I never asked you-do you still have them?"

She didn't need to ask what 'them' was. She nodded silently, then climbed out of bed. He pushed himself up to sit against the headboard and watched as she walked to where her jacket was thrown over the chair. She grabbed the small dagger she kept in her thigh holster and cut a slit into the interior material, near where the pocket would be. She walked back to him and held out her hand, exposing the two rings in her palm.

"I sewed them in there so I wouldn't lose them."

He let out a quiet sigh and picked up his- a heavy gold band he had rarely worn because he knew he would lose it and had given to her for safekeeping. Her ring he knew all too well as it had belonged to his mother. He remembered the night they had finally reached Ben's home to find it empty and ransacked. The safe was still intact and he had found it sitting in there-never to belong to Rachel as it had been left for Miles to give to whomever he married.

He had taken it, never expecting to give it to someone, then realized she had been walking alongside him for almost eight months. It had taken longer for him to make the decision and even then, it wasn't perfect. He never gave her an engagement ring or formally proposed. He didn't remember what he said to her but he did remember standing only a couple hours later in front of Bass, who married them in one of his first official acts as president.

He took her ring and slipped it onto her finger wordlessly. She returned the gesture and he flexed his fingers, noting it was slightly tighter than he remembered.

"You know we can't keep these on." he said quietly, twining their fingers together.

"Tonight we can."

His response was to kiss her because she was right. The whole world was falling to pieces around them and who knew what the hell was waiting for them tomorrow. Tonight they could stay holed up in this room, pretend like it was theirs, pretend like nothing had happened, pretend like their son was asleep down the hall, and life was normal. Tomorrow, they could deal with reality. But Miles made a silent promise then to ensure that was what happened one day down the road. He was tired of running. He wanted what he should have had years ago.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Just a quick chapter. Sorry for the delay, hard to find time to write right now.

* * *

Charlie was the one to open their door the next morning once Miles and Nora had returned from their supply run.

"Here, help yourself." he held out a couple backpacks to her as they stepped inside. His eyes swept over the room quickly. Danny was sitting by the window, Aaron was just starting to rouse from his sleep, Rachel did her best to ignore the couple, and Alex frowned in concentration as he scribbled on a sheet of paper at the table with a stubbed pencil. He lifted his head at their arrival, stared at his parents from under his bangs, but did not regard them in any way. Miles saw a faint blush form on his cheeks as he ducked his head down once more. He glanced at Nora and sighed inwardly at the pained expression that flitted across her face.

Still, as quickly as he had seen it, it disappeared and he recognized the determined look in her eyes all too well. She moved towards the table and knelt down next to the chair, took a deep breath, and placed her hand gently on Alex's arm.

"Hi," she kept her voice soft and smiled up at him. He tilted his head in her direction, identical eyes meeting, and gazed at her silently for a moment.

"Hi."

"Did you draw this?" she tapped the paper with her free hand and he nodded.

"Yeah."

"It's very good."

"It's my house." he pointed to the large building with the Monroe Republic flag flying overhead. "There's me, and Dad, and Mom. That's a dog but we don't have one. Dad doesn't like them."

"I-I can see that. Do you like drawing?"

"Yeah. Do you?"

"I do, yeah." she glanced back at the picture. It had the makings of a good artist. It pleased her to see he inherited something from her. "I love to actually."

"I have a bunch of crayons and pencils at home but I don't think Aunt Julia put any in my bag." he looked to the bag on the table, frowning slightly.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing I grabbed these then, huh?" she slipped her bag off her shoulder and reached inside for the crayons she had seen at the store in town. "I thought you could use something to pass the time when we stop for breaks."

"Thank you Miss Clayton."

"You-you can call me-me... Nora. It's okay."

"Okay."

"Okay. Tonight, the next place we stop, I'll draw you some pictures you can color in."

"I'd like that."

"Good." she smiled again and squeezed his hand lightly. She stood when he turned his attention back to his drawing and found Miles watching them.

"Right." he cleared his throat and focused on the rest of their group. "We grabbed enough that we'll each have a bag. You've got a change of clothes, some first aid stuff, and a week's worth of rations."

"How did you get all this?" Charlie asked.

"I've got friends who were more than willing to help." Nora explained.

"I want to leave within the next half hour. The faster we get moving, the better."

* * *

"I need you to hold my hand."

"But I just want to go look."

"Listen to me, please, okay? You need to stay with me."

Charlie leaned a shoulder against a tree and watched as her mother tried to assert her power over Alex. They had stopped for a small break and the kid was mesmerized by the lake they had settled next to.

"I've seen that look before." Miles commented quietly, coming to a stop next to her. He glanced at Nora standing a few feet away, speaking with Danny. Charlie glanced up at her uncle, then looked back to Rachel.

"I just don't get it." she shook her head, twisting her hair around her hand in a knot. "How she can be so..."

"...tunnel visioned?" he offered. "The thing I've learned about your mom is she'll set her mind to something and follow it through to the very end. Right now, Alex is her top priority."

"Doesn't it bother you?"

Miles shifted his stance and focused his gaze at his son and sister-in-law. The glower on Alex's face aroused a small feeling of pride within him.

"Yes and no."

"Well, it bothers me."

He turned his head to look at her and raised an eyebrow. After a moment, he lowered it and nodded slowly.

"I guess I never thought of it that way." and he hadn't. He had been so preoccupied about how he and Nora felt that he hadn't taken into consideration how Charlie and possibly Danny felt. Then again, he assumed that at the age of twenty, sibling rivalry and jealousy would have been extinct.

"It's not so different from you and Nora, you know, thinking someone important to you is gone and then suddenly, they're back in your life. When I saw her back at that place, I... I didn't know what to think and she looked just as surprised to see me. She tried to be nice but that only felt weirder. Growing up, her focus was always on Danny. It was Danny this and Danny that. I either got brushed to the side or had to take responsibility for him. I just got used to it. But seeing her, I have so many questions and I feel like... like she's avoiding me. And the way she's with Alex is the way she was with Danny, like she's afraid he'll disappear into thin air if she glances away for one second."

"Your mother, she..." he trailed off awkwardly. He didn't doubt that Rachel loved Charlie but he didn't have many memories of her being a loving mother. She did what she had to and nothing more. He even remembered Rachel saying on more than one occasion, _"I'm her mother, not her friend." _

"Yeah I get it. Just, if I could get five minutes with her, that would help a little bit. She uses Alex like a shield though."

"So, I'll take Alex and you can talk to her. It benefits both of us."

Without waiting for a response, he walked towards Alex, who was steadily moving closer to the water, despite Rachel's ordering. He hooked two fingers underneath his collar and gave a gentle tug, pulling him away from the muddy banks.

"Careful. You lean too close like that and you'll fall in."

"I just wanted to see."

"Yeah but it's cold and if you get wet, that won't be good. You could get sick. None of us want that."

"Alex, come here." Rachel interrupted, pointing a finger at the ground by her feet. He shrugged Miles's hand off and slowly made his way to Rachel. She stared at her brother-in-law over the boy's shoulder, her eyes narrowed into slits. He shoved his hands into his pockets and walked towards them.

"He's going to walk up front with me for a while."

"Really?" Alex's head whipped around and his eyes lit up with excitement. Miles nodded while Rachel shook her head.

"No. Absolutely not."

"It'll do him some good to interact us."

"Why don't you leave the parenting to me?" the question and the glower in her eyes caught him off guard but he remained composed.

"Sure. Go talk to Charlie and Danny. I'm pretty sure I can handle a six year old for a few minutes." he walked around her, took Alex by the hand, and addressed the others. "We're gonna get going so grab your crap."

Nora lifted an eyebrow at the sight of him with Alex but didn't hesitate to join them at the head of their group. Everyone else quickly moved into formation and began to follow. Charlie pushed herself off the tree, retrieved her backpack at her feet, and moved towards her mother.

"Not now Charlie." she held up a hand to halt her before she even reached her. Rachel barely gave her daughter another glance before moving on to Danny. The younger blonde stood still, mouth slightly open in a hurt expression. _Of course_, she thought bitterly, snapping her jaw shut in anger, _have to move onto the other favorite. _She hiked her backpack far up her shoulder and walked quick to catch up to Miles and Nora. Her uncle sent a glance in her direction, hid his pity, and said nothing.

"So, what happened after you got rescued?" Charlie turned her attention to Nora.

"What rescue?" Miles interrupted.

"Was it a knight? Jason was telling me stories about knights." Alex added. "They fought battles and saved pretty ladies. Jason's a knight."

Miles snorted at this but said nothing. Nora smiled down at their son and shrugged.

"He likes to think so." she turned her gaze back to Charlie and said, "I decided we would stay with them. I figured it had to be safer than whatever was waiting for us out on the road. So we settled into the house and got to know each other."

"Wait-" he looked over at her, a slight frown on his face, "You're not talking about us are you?"

"I was curious. Obviously there's no more secrets." Charlie gave a pointed look at Alex and Miles sighed, rubbed a hand over the top of his head.

"Plus, I think we've gotten to the point where she would have wheedled it out of you anyway." Nora added with a smirk. He grunted in response but she saw the faint grin forming.


	7. Chapter 7

**April 2013- Seven months after the blackout**

"This was more fun with the DVD." Mia pouted as she rolled the dice. She was sitting cross-legged on the floor of the living room with Bass stretched out across from her. Between them was Disney Scene-it.

"I think there are enough questions to last us a while." he turned his head to cough then pulled a card out of the box. "Name the Seven Dwarfs."

"Happy, Sneezy, Sleepy, Dopey, Grumpy, Bashful, Doc."

"You said those way too fast." he watched as she moved her game piece-which was significantly further ahead than Bass's, then took the dice and rolled. She pulled out a card, eyeballed the four options, then asked,

"What does 'ohana' mean?"

"I don't know."

"It means family." Mia gave him the answer without checking the card and reached for the dice. She waited patiently for Bass to pick a question.

"Who are Cinderella's stepsisters?"

"Anastasia and Drizella."

Bass sighed, tossed the card down, then rolled onto his back to look at Nora, who was sitting at the counter.

"I told you playing her was a bad idea. She knows everything." she smiled slightly. "She is at an unfair advantage."

"I'll just have to step up my game then." he turned back to the board and continued to play. Nora remained silent for the most part, letting out a laugh once in a while. She was happy Mia was happy. The two weeks they had spent with Miles and Bass so far had gone well. The stability and security was good and Bass had a way with kids. Before they had been rescued, she couldn't remember the last time Mia had smiled.

Nora looked down at the book in front of her as she flipped to the final page. She had flown through several novels already. She glanced back to Mia, who fell back in a heap of giggles, then stood from the stool she sat on. Whoever had lived here previously had a good taste in, well, everything. The room at the end of the first floor, which she assumed to be a library was stocked with every book imaginable. She grabbed the book from the counter and walked down the hallway to retrieve a new title. Then, upon reaching the doorway, hesitated when she saw Miles lounging in the leather armchair with _Catch-22 _opened in his lap.

She would admit that she got along well with Bass. It was hard to not get along with Bass. He had an infectious personality, always grinning or being sweet. She hadn't seen much of Jeremy as he was mainly sleeping and resting the majority of the time but when they did interact, he was quite the wise ass. But Miles... Miles was an enigma and that frustrated her and somewhat terrified her as well. He wasn't mean or horrible, just quiet and kept to himself. The only one he tolerated was Bass and Nora assumed that was because they seemed to be attached at the hip. Once in a while, he would crack a smile at something Mia said or roll his eyes at Jeremy but otherwise, enticing a reaction out of Miles was near impossible.

And yet, she found herself constantly watching him. Maybe it was because she knew close to nothing about him and the mystery was alluring. Or it could have been the fact that he had saved her life. There was also the fact that he was good looking. Probably a combination of all three.

"I'm just going to..." she trailed off awkwardly, waving the book as an explanation. He nodded without a word and she slipped by, glanced at him sideways-and felt her pulse quicken slightly. She shook her head and set the book onto an empty space of the shelf, then began looking for a new one. Her eyes skimmed over _The Great Gatsby _once, then twice, and finally she picked it up.

"Good choice." he commented, seeing the cover as she walked by him again.

"One of my favorites."

"Mine too."

She smiled, somewhat bashfully, and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"I didn't... I didn't really peg you as a reader."

"Don't tell anyone. I don't think Bass even knows I can read." he folded the corner of the page and shut the book as she laughed. "Not much else to do anymore."

"True." she glanced at the chair opposite him and slowly sat on the edge. He didn't argue or get up so she took it as a good sign. "I mean, Mia and Bass have taken over the living room with the board games they found. He's really good with her."

"I'm sure she reminds him of-" he cut himself off and lowered his eyes to the novel. She gazed at him for a moment, fingered the edge of the cover, and decided she would risk it.

"Daughter?"

The thought of Bass having a child made Miles laugh quietly, though he was sure with all the one night stands, there were bound to be one or two roaming the States somewhere.

"Sisters. They were a few years younger than him. I wouldn't bring it up."

"That's awful."

Miles only nodded, trying not to remember the image of a haunted Bass contemplating killing himself in a cemetery.

"Do you have siblings?"

"One." he paused, then added, "he's older than me- five years."

"Is he still in Chicago?"

Just like that, he shut down and she wondered if she crossed a line somehow. Her fingers fiddled with the pages as she contemplated her next choice of words. There was an awkward silence between them and she anxiously glanced over at him to meet his eye. His attention was on his book though and she watched as he idly flipped the page over.

"Is it just you and Mia?"

The quiet question caught her off guard and slowly, she nodded, then cleared her throat and said,

"Yeah. Just us."

"What, five, six years between you guys?"

She raised an eyebrow at the second question. It was surprising that he would instigate a conversation. It was aggravating that he could pry into her life but she couldn't pry into his. It was irritating that he thought she was a teenager. This was a common mistake she was used to though.

"Almost eleven."

His eyes raised from the book and she smiled slightly.

"I'd show you my license but whoever stole my bag took that too."

"You're really twenty...one?"

"As of January 24."

"Huh."

"I know, I'll appreciate it when I'm forty and I look like I'm twenty-five."

"I would never have guessed."

"The lack of makeup and nice clothing doesn't do me any favors."

"So why the big age gap?" the sudden change in topic confused her slightly but she answered anyway.

"My parents were young when they had me."

"Gotcha."

She nodded slightly, quiet, as he turned his attention back to the book. He said nothing else and she took this as a sign that their small conversation was over. Still, she took a moment to observe him and raked her eyes over his disheveled appearance- tousled hair, a day's worth of scruff, and ripped jeans. He was in a black t-shirt and she realized it was the first time she hadn't seen him in long sleeves or layers. He lifted his left hand to scratch the back of his head and she saw a part of a tattoo as his sleeve rode up his bicep. She jumped up quickly as he tilted his head up and turned her back before he could meet her eye. That was all she needed; him thinking she had some schoolgirl crush on him. But as she left the room, she glanced over her shoulder at him once more, and silently chastised herself at the blush she felt form on her cheeks.

She knew this was a fleeting emotion and would quickly pass. Miles had no redeeming qualities, she knew next to nothing about him, and there was at least a decade between them. He had saved her life and, like the hopeless romantic she was, she was swept away by the fairy tale characteristics of it all.

* * *

"Here,"

Miles lifted his head to find a beer bottle in his face, then looked further to see Bass at his side. His friend shook the bottle, waiting for him to take it, then flopped into the deck chair next to him. They sat in a comfortable silence though Miles could tell by Bass's fidgeting that he was building up to say something.

"So," Bass peeled the label away from the bottle and tossed it onto the patio before looking to meet Miles's eye. He looked innocent enough, blue eyes all wide and serious. "Interesting few weeks we've had."

"I guess that's one way of putting it."

"Is this going to become a thing?"

"What?"

"Shooting people in the face and then taking in strays?"

"We're not taking in strays. We're..." he trailed off, trying to find a better euphemism.

"Taking in strays."

"Look, eventually we'll find somewhere to drop Jeremy off and you were the one who was so insistent on taking Nora and Mia to their dad. So you've only got yourself to blame."

"I suppose so." he trailed his finger along the lip of the bottle and fell silent. Miles glanced sideways at Bass and sighed at the smirk he saw forming.

"What?"

"She's cute."

"You're a pervert."

"Oh come on, like you weren't thinking it."

"She's a kid. I thought she was fifteen."

"I didn't say she was super hot. I said she was cute. Besides, she's twenty-one. Completely legal."

"Then you're right. She's right up your alley."

"No, she's not my type."

"Super young, unattached, most likely has daddy issues. Yeah, Bass, I'd say she's perfect for you."

"Brunette, feisty, and likes to argue with you. Sounds like someone you'd go after."

Neither of them were aware of the fact that Nora was sitting in the window of her bedroom, able to hear every word they were saying.

"She's a nice person. I feel bad for them, you know, all they've been through so far." Bass muttered as he lifted the bottle for a drink. "You would, of course, know about that if you took the time to talk to her."

"I talk to her."

"You could go beyond the boundaries of 'you hungry?' and 'hey, you.' I know you have the ability to make friends."

"I'm friendly."

"Right." there was another bout of silence, then Bass snickered, and Miles looked over once more to see the familiar smirk plastered on his face. "You're just being shy."

"Oh shut up."

"Seriously though, she could use someone to talk to."

"I'm not a therapist. I'm friendly but if she wants a shoulder to cry on, she can continue going to you. You're the effeminate one."


	8. Chapter 8

They found shelter in an abandoned house for the night. Once the area had been secured by Miles, Charlie and Danny had claimed a room for themselves and crashed. Rachel, having retrieved Alex a few hours earlier, took a second bedroom to put him to sleep. She was still fuming from earlier in the day and she intended on confronting her brother-in-law the first chance she got. She sat at the top of the stairs, eavesdropping as he spoke quietly on the lower floor with Nora. Rachel could hear noises coming from the room Aaron had taken and knew he would be waking up shortly to take his turn at guarding the house. She knew she didn't have a lot of time and began to make her way downstairs quietly.

She found them in the living room sitting by the large bay window covered by moth-eaten drapes. Nora sat in a leather armchair, almost in a crouching position, and Miles stood next to her, his hand moving slowly over her back.

"I just want to tell him." she was saying and Rachel knew immediately that she was talking about Alex. "It's getting hard to keep quiet."

"I'd say that's selfish of you." she interjected. The couple looked over their shoulders at her and the change in Nora's demeanor was noticed instantly.

"Fortunately no one asked your opinion."

"Well, _un_fortunately, you need to because he's my son."

"_Don't _start with me."

"No. You had no right to do what you did today." her eyes were aimed at Miles, who rolled his own and turned completely to face Rachel.

"I have every right."

"You can't just walk in and take over."

"Like you did?"

"I explained my actions."

"And we don't believe you." Nora said. "You're not fooling anyone."

"I don't care if you believe me or not. If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't be here. You should be grateful."

"Yes! You're right. I am _so _grateful you kidnapped my son and claimed him as your own with a sociopath. But, then again, I guess you ignore that fact since you, for whatever reason I cannot even begin to fathom, think that after all this time Bass, what, loves you?"

"Bass saved me from him. Don't forget that. He was not always like this. He was the one who turned Bass into what he is today." she pointed a finger at Miles. "And you don't even know what you're talking about."

"I know enough."

"Yeah, well, you don't know that Bass has gone off the deep end and for the past six months, has decided that I am a traitorous bitch and kept me locked up. I got to see Alex once a week and that was only when he was feeling generous."

"Well, it sounds to me like he did something right."

"You only care about yourselves, not about Alex."

"Pot meet kettle."

"I'm the only one who is worried about him. All you care about is getting that title of mom and there's more to it than you think. He's not a toy. And Miles, you didn't even think twice before pulling him out of the only environment, _safe _environment that he's known. You'd rather drag him through a war zone instead of thinking what's best for him. He is already having enough of a hard time as it is. Despite what my problems with Bass may be and yours, he still made sure Alex was taken care of."

"Are you even listening to yourself?" Nora turned in the chair, an incredulous look on her face. "The best thing for Alex is to be away from him and away from you. You know what I think? You're the selfish one. You're the one in the wrong, you committed a crime, and yet, you feel like we're somehow hurting you. You know that when we tell him the truth, he's going to look at you like you're the monster under the bed and you don't want that. You have no claim to him and frankly, I don't care about hurting your feelings."

"You're going to screw him up. You're so focused on getting back at me that you don't care what it does to him. Yeah, he's not my blood but I still raised him. I'm the one who took care of him, who listened to first words, and saw first steps, cleaned up cuts, and-"

"Alright, I'm going to stop you right there."

"Why? Did I hit a nerve?"

"Stop," Miles pushed Nora gently back into the chair as he saw her stand. He turned to Rachel, keeping himself between the two women. "We're done playing games. He's going to find out."

"You scare him."

"That's bullshit. He did fine with us today. He even liked it. You just don't like the idea that he's not clinging to you. You keep him on the shortest leash possible Rachel. He's not yours. God, Charlie is trying everything to get your attention and-"

"That's not my problem right now. Charlie can handle herself. Alex, on the other hand,"

"-isn't going to be your responsibility much longer. I'm done stepping on eggshells. We're telling him."

"Am I interrupting?" Aaron hesitantly broke the tense silence almost a minute later. Rachel glared up at Miles, who broke eye contact first. He turned to Aaron and shook his head.

"Nope. Holler if you see anyone."

"I know the drill."

"Good. Rachel, you want the next shift?"

"You can have it." she stared down at the floor as she dug the toe of her boot into the worn carpet.

"Fine. Wake me in three hours." Miles pulled Nora out of the chair and led the way past the other two to the stairs. "Well, I was waiting for a table to get flipped down there."

"She's lucky I didn't hit her. You should have let me."

"Well, tomorrow, everything will be out in the open and it won't matter anymore."

They walked past Alex's room, unaware that he was crouching on the other side of the door. He had woken up and looked for Rachel, only to hear their conversation from the stairs. When he heard Aaron coming out, he had ran back into the room out of fear of being caught doing something wrong. Nor did they know that Charlie was standing in her room, back against the door, replaying the words that she wasn't her mother's problem right now.

* * *

"Miles, wake up."

He groaned quietly as hands shook him and he opened his eyes slowly to find Nora standing over him, a terrified look on her face. He was wide awake then and sprung to his feet.

"He's gone. I thought I would just check on him and he wasn't there and I looked all over the house and he's not in here." she began babbling quickly before he could ask what happened and it took him a moment to process what she said.

"Who-wh-Alex?"

"I was on watch and there is no way someone could have gotten in. I don't understand where he could have gone." she brought her hands up to her face and he saw she was visibly shaking. "I would have seen him."

"Alright, just calm down." he scrubbed one hand over his eyes and used the other to pull her to him.

"Calm down!"

"Yes because you panicking isn't going to help. Where's Rachel?"

"She's outside with Charlie looking for him."

He felt his panic level lower slightly. He wouldn't put it past Rachel to grab Alex and run. The fact that she was still here and someone hadn't crept into the house and taken him meant he couldn't have gone far. _Except you don't know how long he's been gone and once he left the house, _anything _could have happened. _That made his chest tighten in anxiety again. He took a deep breath though, trying to remain rational about this. He knew Nora was rapidly decaying into a wreck. Rachel was most likely on a rampage. One of them had to be level headed.

"Are you sure you checked everywhere?" he sat on the edge of the bed and quickly pulled his boots on, then tied the laces loosely.

"He's not in the house."

"Okay. He couldn't have gone anywhere far."

She nodded but didn't look convinced and he saw tears brimming.

"Nora-"

"This is my fault." she whispered as she bit down on her lip. The regret and guilt seemed to ooze out of her and he knew these feelings went beyond today and back to the day Alex was born.

"You didn't know." he stood up and went to her, cupping her face in one hand. "Acting like this isn't going to accomplish anything."

"I don't-if something-I don't think I could handle that."

"I'm going to find him. He's probably lurking up in a tree or something. He's fine."

They made their way downstairs and outside without another word. Danny disappeared around the back of the house as they stepped off the porch into the front yard. Charlie wandered around the property, calling for Alex. Rachel, on the other hand, stormed up to them.

"What did you do?" her eyes were blazing as she stepped close to Nora, which only made her angrier.

"I should be asking you that! What, did you make him hide somewhere and said you would come back later for him?"

"You are crazy! I would _never _do anything to harm him."

"Right, you're just so insistent on keeping him for yourself. I'm surprised you haven't run off with him by now!"

"I should have! Because this just proves my point that you would be an unfit mother since you let him walk right out of the house!"

"And you were in the room with him! You didn't notice he left?"

Miles tugged Nora back as Charlie raced forward. She pulled on Rachel's arm in an attempt to stop the older women from clawing at each other.

"Stop, stop! This isn't helping." she looked between both of them. "I know you've got your issues but blaming each other and going in circles isn't going to find Alex."

"She's right. Charlie, take your mom and go around that side of the street." Miles pointed to the right, where the old neighborhood curved into a grove of trees. "Nora and I will go this way. Danny and Aaron can stay here in case he shows up."

No one moved at first and Charlie had to tug on Rachel's hand to grab her attention.

"Mom, come on."

"If anything happens to him," her voice was dangerously low as she took another step towards Nora, finger close to her face, "I promise you I will make your life a living hell because this is all your fault. There was no reason for him to have been able to get out of this house and you were the one on duty."

She yanked her hand out of Charlie's and started towards the edge of the property. Charlie flashed an apologetic look at her aunt and uncle and quickly followed after her mother.

They remained where they were for the moment. Miles could feel Nora shaking violently against him.

"Let's go. Come on," he rubbed his hands up and down her arms, hoping he was giving her some sort of comfort, no matter how weak it was.

She allowed him to pull her along and they started to make their way into the next yard. He looked at the dilapidated house and hoped that no one lived there or at least no one crazy who would shoot at them for stepping onto their property. They hadn't seen anyone else when they reached the house last night but that didn't mean they didn't exist.

"Alex?"

"Alex!"

They looked all over the yard, peered into the windows of the house, which was thankfully empty, and moved onto the next. The backyard was fenced in by high, white slats that completely obscured the yard from view. Nora stepped onto the porch and looked through the dirtied glass of the door window.

"I'm going to check the backyard." Miles said, noticing the gate was slightly opened. He pulled it opened the rest of the way and stepped into a large yard. An in-ground pool took up the middle of the yard, its water dark and murky, and a swing set sat against the fence furthest from him. One swing was swaying back and forth. Although it was a cold morning, there was no wind to cause it to move on its own. "Alex?"

There was a squeaking noise, barely noticeable, but he heard it. He walked towards the pool and noticed an aluminum shed situated between the house and the swing set. The door was swinging slightly. _Found you. _

He crossed the rest of the yard quickly and stopped a few feet from the shed.

"Alex?"

There was no response but still, he reached to open the door fully. The shed was cluttered with gardening tools and a lawn mower. Sitting against the wall with his head on his knees was Alex. His arms were wrapped around his legs and Miles could see his shoulders moving up and down.

"You sure know how to cause a panic, huh?" he crouched down next to his son and placed a hand on the top of his head. "You okay?"

He shook his head no and sniffed loudly.

"Alright. Come on, we'll go back to the house and warm up."

"No," Alex pulled away and slid further into the shed. "I don't want to."

"Okay. Fine," Miles sat next to him and rested his elbows on the tops of his knees. "Are you hurt?"

"No."

"What were you doing?"

"I want to go home." he lifted his head slightly and met Miles's eye guiltily. The watery expression he received nearly left him breathless. Alex's resemblance to himself and Nora was obvious but there were times, such as now, that he looked eerily similar to either of them. He wasn't used to it at all. "But I didn't know which way to go."

"So why didn't you come back in the house?"

"Everyone would have been mad."

"So you came here."

Alex nodded wordlessly and Miles nodded in understanding. He leaned out the door and called, "Nora, I found him!"

A matter of seconds later, he heard her footsteps and she appeared over them. She let out a strangled sob as she saw Alex and dropped to her knees next to Miles.

"Are you okay? What were you thinking?" she reached a hand out but Alex shrunk back, curling in on himself. She dropped her hand immediately and recoiled as well. "I'm sorry. I-I was worried about you."

"None of us would have been mad." Miles added quietly.

"Why would you run away like that? You could have gotten hurt."

"I want to go home." Alex explained again. He lowered his head, not wanting to look either of them in the eye. "And I-I,"

"What? It's okay, you can tell us." she moved in further, practically kneeling on top of Miles.

"I heard you and Mom talking last night." he mumbled. His parents froze at the confession.

"What-what do you mean?"

"That she's not my mom. That, that you are."


	9. Chapter 9

Miles shifted uncomfortably, trying to dislodge Nora's knee from his thigh when he realized she was kneeling on him. She moved back just enough but this was done as if she was on autopilot. Her eyes were glued to Alex, who was glancing up with tiny, terrified expressions every so often. Miles gave a side glance to her as well, trying to gauge her emotions at the moment. Her mouth hung open slightly, obviously at a loss for words, and he detected a hint of disappointment-probably because it wasn't exactly the reunion she had in mind. He had known her for fifteen years. He had seen the sweet, idealistic twenty year old with a hopeless romantic's view of the world morph into a hardened killer with a knack for blowing stuff up. Through it all though, he knew she still held a bit of that sentimentality and Disney-esque hope that everything would work in the end, especially when it came to himself and Alex. He knew she expected Alex to fling himself into her arms and there would be singing animals and doves flying overhead.

Instead, he was burrowed against a dirty shed-which, now that Miles thought about it, was most likely crawling with insects and other creepy critters-looking confused, scared, and anxious.

"Why don't we get out of here. We'll go back to the house. Get a fire going, try and eat something." he spoke first, believing she wouldn't be able to.

"No." the suggestion made Alex jump, bumping his side into the wheel of the lawn mower. "I don't want to. Mo-Mom's g-gonna be m-ma-mad."

"She doesn't know we found you. We can go back and talk and she doesn't have to be there." Nora said. Miles's eyes flicked towards her, brow furrowed slightly in protest. "Okay? It's cold out here and sitting on this floor isn't very comfortable."

"I-" Alex broke off and dropped his head to his knees.

"I know this is hard and probably very upsetting for you." she tentatively reached a hand over Miles and let it fall gently onto their son's shoulder.

"So, so it's true?"

Nora swallowed nervously but nodded. Alex slowly looked up when he did not get a verbal response. She smiled sadly and nodded again.

"Yeah, yeah it is. Can we go back? We'll try and, and explain?"

"Are, are you mad?"

"No. I was just scared. I thought something happened to you. I just want to talk, okay?"

It took a moment, but he slowly nodded, and stood up. Nora pushed herself to her feet and Miles quickly followed after. He shot a glance at the house as they walked towards the gate and really hoped that no one was currently living in the house because it would look pretty fucking odd to find three people emerging from your shed. Nora and Alex walked ahead of him and he saw the six year old pull away when she tried to take his hand.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry." she backed away immediately, looking up only when she felt Miles's hand on her elbow.

"We need to tell Rachel he's okay."

"We don't need to do anything." her eyes darkened angrily. "I'm not doing her any favors. She can do her searching and have her scared moment, thinking he's gone and she can't do anything about it. Maybe it'll teach her a lesson."

He refrained from responding as he got the sense if he said another word she would likely bite his head off. He held the gate open, gestured for her to go first, then latched it tightly behind him. He fell into step next to her and kept his eyes glued to Alex, who made sure to stay slightly ahead of them.

"I don't understand why you're taking her side." she spun on her heel to face him and put a hand up to stop him from walking. Over her shoulder, he saw Alex hesitate, unsure of whether he should keep on going.

"Go in the house." they were only feet from the property, he could see the front of the house from here. "We'll be right there."

Alex nodded wordlessly and climbed the porch to enter the house. The door shut behind him but did not latch completely. A gust of wind blew it open and Miles watched as it swung back and forth, leaving the foyer partially exposed. His eyes slid to Nora's and the mixed expression on her face made him exhausted. Three days into this new journey and he had no idea how to handle it. He had told Rachel the night before that they were done stepping on eggshells but at the moment, he didn't see any other way to get through the day. One wrong move in favor of him and Nora could send Rachel sprinting back to Philly with Alex in tow. One wrong move in favor of Rachel would send Nora into a rage.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Last night, you didn't care what happened to her and today you're worried about her."

"I'm not worried about her. I don't care about her but I do care about Alex and, and this whole thing is a fucking mess." he raked his hand roughly over the top of his head to his neck and gripped his hair tightly in frustration.

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you brought him back."

"I told you. I didn't know about Rachel. That's not the point though. I just don't want anyone to get hurt so we need to take small steps otherwise it's going to blow up in our faces."

"You don't want anyone to get hurt." she repeated flatly.

"Right."

"Like I didn't get hurt?"

"Nora-"

"You're so quick to forget what we went through."

"That's not true and you know it. My main priority right now is Alex and I don't know how we're going to do this but we have to ease him into this. This morning proved that he cannot handle this. He tried to go back to Philadelphia on his own. He doesn't know where the hell we are or which way is even east but he knows that he wants the one place that comforts him and as fucked up as this is, it's Bass and the city. Don't think that I'm turning my back on you or want Rachel to be a part of his life. I don't want him to have a breakdown at the age of six. So if that means tolerating her and co-parenting or whatever, then fine. I would love for him to accept all this without a second thought and act as though she doesn't exist but rationally, I know that's not going to happen. You've got to do the same."

"She won't."

"Then prove you're the better person and do it."

"You didn't care when you took him from Julia, away from Bass."

"I don't have to look Bass in the face every day and he deliberately took Alex. Rachel-"

"Don't. Don't even say that she was an unwilling participant. She would have done anything to please him, even if that meant kidnapping her own nephew. If it's true, what she said last night about him going crazy, he must be really out of his mind if she was so scared to stop helping him."

She turned away then and he knew that was the end of the conversation. He followed her silently into the house, where they found Alex sitting in the living room on the couch. His feet were up on the edge of the cushion so that he hugged his knees to his chest. His brown eyes were widened so he resembled a deer caught in headlights. Something within Miles ached at the fact that his own son would look at him like he was some predator that needed to be outrun.

"Can I sit here?" Nora asked quietly. Alex gave a nod and moved over to give her space. Miles gave him a slight smile as he passed to start the fireplace. "I bet you've got a lot of questions."

Another nod. Miles glanced over his shoulder at his wife and son. He focused specifically on Nora, amazed at the sudden transformation she under went. Barely five minutes before, she was practically shooting daggers at him and now she was calm, gentle, and maternal. The ache settled in his chest, intending to stay for the long run. They would have been good. She would have been good. He wasn't too sure about his own parenting skills but she would, will be a great mom. He understood her frustration because he had much of his own but he just didn't know how to make everyone happy. It was like he had told Nora. The most important thing was Alex and how he felt and if he saw his two sets of parents fighting and blatantly calling each other evil, he was going to become very lost, very fast.

"What did you hear last night?"

"You and Mo- Ra- her fighting." he stumbled over what to call Rachel, unsure if he was going to upset Nora or not. He dragged his teeth over his lip as he dug his chin into his kneecaps. Miles dropped the poker and turned to sit on the arm of the couch. "You said she kidnapped me."

Nora started to open her mouth but Alex continued on, saying, "I know what it means. Dad says there are bad people who would take me away from him. You're not friends with him, are you?"

The question was aimed at Miles, who was caught slightly off guard and somewhat confused. Then he remembered the first night, when Alex was trying to decide to trust him. He had wanted to know if he and Bass were friends.

"I used to be. We both were for a very long time." he gestured between himself and Nora, making sure to keep eye contact with Alex.

"Did you get into a fight?"

"Kind of."

"Mo- Ra-" he broke off with a frustrated sigh, then jumped when Nora laid a comforting hand on his knee.

"You can call her... Mom. It's okay."

"M-Mom wouldn't do anything to hurt me."

Miles glanced sideways at Nora, saw the way her mouth tightened. He was ready to tell her to think wisely over her words when she relaxed and a sad smile replaced the scowl.

"No, I... I believe you." she said slowly.

"Then why would she do that?"

"I don't know. I don't have a lot of the answers. I know it's hard."

"Does Dad know?"

"Yes."

He frowned at this and was quiet for a few minutes. Finally, he shook his head and lifted his eyes to meet theirs.

"He wouldn't."

"Alex,"

"He's my dad. He protects me. He doesn't do bad things."

"I-I'm sure that he has been-been very good to you but Alex, honey, we're your parents."

"Maybe you gave me away." he mumbled, almost to himself instead of them.

"What?"

"There's a girl, I'm not supposed to talk to her, but she helps Mrs. Olivia in the kitchen. Her mom and dad gave her away because they didn't love her and didn't want her."

"Alex, no, no, we would never do that."

"I don't believe you. Dad wouldn't kidnap me. Mom wouldn't. They're not bad."

"We did not give you away." Nora repeated. Tears were starting to spill over. It took everything she had not to scream at him that he didn't understand how awful Bass truly was, how he had ripped Alex from them.

"Then why didn't you want me? Why didn't you look for me!"

"That's not true! We did-do want you. We love you. When-when we found out that you were going to be born, we were so excited." she reached for him but he jerked away and moved further to the opposite side of the couch. "And we did look for you. We looked everywhere."

Her voice finally cracked as she was forced to face the aftermath of his disappearance. She _had _looked for him. How many nights had she wandered through their home, insistent that he had to be there? When she had finally mustered the strength to leave the house and venture into the city, she scrutinized every baby, sure that they were her son. Or what about the rare last visits to Independence Hall, when she heard the faint cries, and looked around the building, only to decide she was losing her mind in grief? The realization hit her then and a broken sob escaped her lips. Had Bass been keeping him there, hidden away in plain sight? Had her baby only been feet away from her and she didn't realize? She had been struggling with Bass for quite some time before losing Alex but she would never, at that time, had assumed he could be so vile. The idea that he could have possibly taken Alex had never crossed her mind.

"Hey, I know they're the only family you've known." Miles said quietly. He squeezed Nora's shoulder comfortingly as she cried with her face buried in her hands. "Alex, look at me."

His son reluctantly looked up, waiting for him to continue.

"It's rough, I know, and it's going to take time to get used to but you'll understand and hopefully, maybe, we'll get to know each other and you'll accept everything. I promise you though that you were wanted. I know you don't want to think of... of your dad as the bad guy but you don't have to think of us that way either."

The door to the house banged open and Miles moved to his feet but it was only Rachel, who took one look at Alex and rushed towards him. She gathered him tightly in her arms, openly weeping.

"Oh God, I was so worried. I thought something bad happened to you." she pulled away slightly to scan her eyes over him. One hand came up and brushed his hair out of his eyes. "Are you okay? Did you get hurt?"

"No." he squirmed, trying to break out of her hold.

"Don't you ever run off again, do you hear me? It's very dangerous and there are people who would-"

"-kidnap me?" he cut in. The hurt look in his eyes stunned her and her arms dropped away from him. She slowly looked to Miles and Nora, saw the emotional mess the other woman was. Nora turned to Miles and clutched him, face hidden in his shoulder. He brought his arms around her and stared back at Rachel over her shoulder.

"What did you tell him?"

"He heard us talking last night."

Rachel's face seemed to crumple then and she looked back to Alex.

"Sweetheart,"

"No." he shied away from her and stood up. "I don't want to talk to anyone."

He moved quickly around her, past Charlie who was standing in the doorway, and disappeared up the staircase. Rachel lowered herself numbly onto the coffee table, suddenly at a loss. There was a heavy silence in the air, punctuated only by Nora's soft cries.

"I can't do this." she rasped finally. She pulled away from Miles and stood up, scrubbing her hands over her face. "I just can't."

She left the room as well. He did not move to follow her. He shot a look at his niece, who turned and slipped out of view.

"You happy?" he muttered.

"Please, Miles,"

"What was the point of all this? What was the endgame? Why would Bass even think to take my kid from me?"

"I don't know." Rachel shook her head slowly. "I don't know."


	10. Chapter 10

**April 2013- Seven months after the blackout**

Nora had no idea what happened. One minute, they had been walking calmly through a campground and the next, Miles was dragging her into a cabin while bullets chased after them. He threw her onto the wooden floor as he kicked the door shut and dropped down next to her. No, _on_ her, she realized when she felt him against her back. The loud gunshots continued and seemed to come from every direction. Glass shattered over their heads as bullets penetrated the windows and he pressed closer to her, a hand against the back of her head to shield her.

"Stay down." it was a quiet but gruff order in her ear and she gave a slight nod to show she understood even though she couldn't find her voice. The weight of him disappeared as he moved off her and she turned her head slightly to see him crouching under the broken windows and checking his pistol. He turned, rising just enough to see out the window, and began to return gunfire.

She lost track of what was happening but finally there was silence and he was pulling her up into a sitting position.

"You okay? You're not hurt, are you?"

"No. I'm fine." she looked around the cabin and instantly, her panic level rose. "Where's Mia?"

"Bass has her."

"We need to-"

"No. We're not going anywhere until morning. It's too dark out there and too many hiding spots. Who knows who else is out there. We wouldn't stand a chance. Bass grabbed her. We split up when the shooting started and took off in opposite directions so we didn't get caught together. I know they're across from us. I saw him. Trust me, she's fine. We have a system worked out. He would let me know if something is wrong and nothing is wrong."

"This isn't the first time this has happened, has it?"

"No. We can't stay in here with the windows open like this." he spotted a doorway at the back of the room and gestured in that direction. "Come on,"

She looked around as she followed him. They were in a large, opened area split into a living room and kitchen. A small bathroom was off to the left and straight ahead was a bedroom. He stopped in the kitchen, looking for candles, and waved her on. She obeyed silently, her thoughts still on her sister. She prayed that he was right and that Mia was perfectly fine. She would never forgive herself if something happened to her.

"Help me move this." Miles stood by a small desk, which he deposited three large Yankee candles onto, and Nora realized he had shut the door behind him. "Extra layer of protection."

She pushed at the table as he pulled and together they barricaded the door. The only other way into the room was through the window, which took up the upper half of the wall. No one was getting through that unless they had a ladder.

"So when do we leave?"

"Sunrise. We'll meet out front." he was digging blindly through his bag, then there was a flicker of light as he found a lighter. The candles were lit, casting a warm glow around the room. In the new found light, she saw him grimace and turn away from her. He didn't turn quick enough however and she grabbed his arm, pulling him back around.

"You're bleeding."

"It's fine."

"It's not fine. Sit down."

"You're being stupid. Mind your own business."

"It is my business because if you're going to be a stubborn jackass and allow yourself to bleed out, I'm left with no one to help me."

"Maybe you should learn to protect yourself then."

"Maybe I should. For now, you can sit down though." her eyes danced dangerously in the candlelight and he regarded her with a wary eye momentarily.

"It's just a scrape."

"Shut up."

The back of his knees hit the side of the bed and he sat, moving back until he hit the wall, while she rummaged through their bags for whatever first aid supplies they had.

"Don't waste that stuff. We'll probably need it for something more important later and God only knows when we'll be able to find more."

She rolled her eyes as she turned to face him. She gave him a pointed look when she saw him try to hide the fact he had been holding his side.

"I thought it was just a scrape."

"Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like a bitch." he tugged his shirt over his head, biting back a hiss when the pain shot up his side.

She did her best not to stare but it was difficult to not sneak a peek at him. Despite the bloody wound located on his right side, stretching from his back to his chest like a neat slice, he was in excellent shape. He was no body builder but he had a defined look to him, more so than she had expected.

"I could do this myself." he tilted his head back against the wall and stared up at the ceiling. He tried his best to ignore the feel of her hands on him and the taunting sound of Bass's immature giggling in his mind.

"I'm returning the favor. Plus, considering the job you did on me, I'm sure you'd take care of yourself wonderfully." she snorted.

"Always so grateful."

"I'll admit it held me together. Stitches could have been a little neater though. I'll have a weird scar."

"Sorry, I didn't perfect my needlepoint. Besides, scars give you character." he yelled a little as she cleaned his side with an alcohol wipe. "Fuck!"

"Sorry." she lifted her eyes to his, looking a bit remorseful. "It's not that deep so you've escaped my handiwork, at least this time. Maybe you got hit with glass."

"No, the bastard grazed me. Awful, or I guess for me lucky, shot." he glanced down to inspect the wound and looked more aggravated than pained. "I've been shot at enough times to know."

"Do I want to know?"

"Probably not."

She didn't question him any further and went about bandaging him up. She kept her eyes focused there and thought of chemistry equations instead of how his muscles moved underneath her fingers. It had been a little over one month since she met him and two weeks since their chat over books. Since then, she made more of an effort to engage him in conversation and she was pleased with how familiar they were beginning to get with each other. The only thing she wasn't pleased about was the increased attraction on her part. She was going to get herself in trouble.

"There." she finished applying the bandage and slid her fingers over the area, smoothing it down as much as possible. She stared there for a moment, feeling his gaze on the top of her head. Slowly, she met his eye and dropped her hand, feeling embarrassed.

"So," he paused, licking his lip slightly, "what's the prognosis?"

"I think you'll live."

"Always nice to hear."

She hummed in agreement and moved away from him to sit at the top of the bed. She pulled her legs up to her chest and pressed her mouth again her knees as he reached for his shirt. He turned his head slightly, looking at her out of the corner of his eye, and said, "Thank you."

"Mhmm." she bit into her jeans a little. Yeah, she was screwed. Now, she was trapped with him in this tiny bedroom for at least eight or nine hours. She noticed the tattoo on his bicep, almost at his shoulder, and tilted her head. It resembled Bass's by the fact that it was the same encircled M. Underneath, it said Matheson rather than Monroe and it was smaller than Bass's too, not quite as obnoxious and prominent. "What's the deal with the tattoo?"

"Just something we came up with a long time ago. I was smarter with my placement." he sat back down and took a small sip from his water bottle. He tilted his head towards her, regarding her with a slightly amused look. "Are you going to surprise me now and tell me you have one?"

"Unfortunately, no. I don't like needles. I'll never get one. Besides, I've never had something that meant that much to me to ink it into my body. I wouldn't know where to get it either. I mean, the point of having one is so people see it but I wouldn't want it in such a visible place so that sort of defeats the purpose."

"If it means something to you, then does it really matter if other people see it?"

"Depends on how you look at it, I guess."

"Good point." he twisted the cap back onto the bottle and tossed it onto the mattress. "Well, this sucks."

"Sorry I'm lousy company."

"I didn't mean it like that. I meant, getting attacked like this. People are animals, I swear."

"They're scared. We're all just trying to survive."

"Shouldn't mean all the rules go out the window though. We'd survive a lot better if we got our shit together and put a plan into action."

"True."

They lapsed into silence and she tapped her fingers against her legs, thinking, _how awkward. _If they were going to be stuck together for hours, they couldn't act like this.

"You should get some sleep." he said quietly. Sleep was the last thing on her mind.

"No, it'll never happen. I'm too worried about Mia."

"She's fine."

"We don't know that." but somewhere within her, she did. After all, she didn't put up much of a fight when Miles refused to go look. Maybe it was because she knew he could and would overpower her if she tried to leave. Or maybe it was because she trusted him.

"I will never understand older siblings." he commented.

"What?"

"You guys act like the younger one is your responsibility."

"She is my responsibility. I've always looked out for her. It's not just the older ones. You're going to find your brother aren't you?"

He didn't respond to that and she leaned into the wall, adding, "Anyway, I look out for her. That's my job."

They fell into silence again. She watched as he picked a loose thread in the flannel comforter. He kept his eyes on his hand but asked, "So who is Lucas?"

She looked confused for a moment, then remembered the conversation they had been having prior to all Hell breaking loose. Mia had been complaining that she was tired of walking-after two days of leaving their temporary home-and Bass had tried to shift her focus by having her talk about the places they had gone since leaving San Antonio. She had been vague in some areas and descriptive in others but made sure to tell the men,_ "We stopped and stayed with Lucas for a few days but he wouldn't come with us when Nora asked him to." _

"No one special."

"Ex-boyfriend I take it."

"I guess, sure, yeah, if that's what you want to call him. I don't really care at this point." she was quiet and he didn't seem like he was going to press the topic. Still, she found herself talking. She hated the silence and it would do her good to vent for a while. "I went to A&M and I was home for the weekend when the blackout hit."

"You drove that far for the weekend?"

"I had no Friday classes and my Thursday class let out early and my Monday class was late. I could leave College Station around noon on Thursday and get to San Antonio by three or four the latest. If I didn't go back on Sundays, I'd leave early Monday morning and be back in time for class. Besides, it was my mom's birthday so the trip was worth it. After the blackout hit, I couldn't go back to school. Even if I wanted to, my mom would never have let me leave. When we started out for Galveston, I made sure we went by the campus. A few of my friends were still in the area. Lucas had an apartment off campus and they were hiding out basically. I wanted him to come with us. I didn't want to go alone but he refused. He was too scared, I think."

"Pussy."

"Pretty much."

"He obviously didn't care about you enough to sacrifice his safety for you so I wouldn't worry too much about him."

"It's not like he was the love of my life or anything. He was an asshole, didn't... didn't really respect me. I was stupid, thinking he would come with me."

"What made you go to A&M?"

"It's where my dad went."

Something about the way she said it and the look on her face told Miles all he needed to know.

"Trying to make him proud." he commented quietly.

"If I was, it didn't work." she flashed a weak smile at him.

* * *

She woke up first and didn't really comprehend the situation they were in. Instead she pressed further against his chest, which in turn made him tighten his arm that was hanging over her shoulder. Then, it clicked. She opened her eyes slowly and found herself face to face with his throat. She tilted her head up slightly and saw him blinking tiredly. Then he glanced down at her, face furrowed in confusion. Yet, neither of them moved.

"Hi." she mumbled awkwardly.

"Hey."

"I ah, I should um, y'know, probably, check your uh, uh, side." she poked at his shoulder gently and he rolled onto his back, rubbing his hand over his eyes. She sat up, sliding his shirt up as she went, and ignored the heat running through her. A million thoughts were running through her head. They were just sleeping. There was only one bed and it was cold. Neither of them had meant anything by it. They apparently both liked to cuddle. Maybe she would try and find him a teddy bear somewhere.

"Did the gangrene set in yet?" his sleepy voice broke through her inner conscious and his sarcasm made her smirk.

"No. Thank God I was here."

"I'm in your debt."

"Not really. You saved my life twice now."

"You really owe me then."

She blushed as she stood to get a new bandage. She sat back on the edge of the bed and quickly went to work.

"You're good as new."

"Thanks." he pushed himself into a sitting position and she felt her pulse race, noticing how close in proximity they were. They were inches from each other, though neither of them moved-either towards each other or away. It seemed like the most intense staring contest ever. One of them had to do something. Both of them were really still half asleep. Maybe they didn't even know what was going on. She tilted her head slightly, leaned about half an inch inwards, and he followed suit, as though they were magnets.

"Miles!" Bass's sudden, unexpected shout sent Nora scrambling backwards. She fell off the bed with a loud thud, wincing at the pain that sliced through her tailbone. Miles stood quickly, moving over her without concern, and shoved the desk away from the door. The blond barreled through a second later and he looked between the two with a frenzied expression. "Good, you're both alive."

"Yep." Nora jumped to her feet and skirted around the marines to Mia and Jeremy. Bass glanced around the small bedroom, the even smaller bed with its mussed blankets, and the redness in Miles's face. His worry turned into amusement and he smirked.

"Nice."

"Shut up."

"Did you need a couple more minutes?"

Miles pushed Bass roughly in the shoulder as he moved by, which only resulted in his best friend chuckling to himself.


	11. Chapter 11

Miles knew their luck would run out soon enough. He had just been hoping it would be a little longer than he had expected. It had been three days since Alex's disappearing act. With the entire truth, at least on their part, out in the open, things had grown more tense within the group.

Nora had seemingly given up on Alex, at least for the time being. When Miles had questioned her the that night, she told him, _He thinks we abandoned him. I'm not going to force him to be around us if he doesn't want to. _She tried to stay as far away from Rachel as possible and the blonde did the same, though the rest of them saw the dirty looks both shot at each other when one spoke or did something. She was even keeping her distance from Miles, which he didn't find fair but kept his mouth shut.

Rachel split her time between fawning over Danny and pushing harder to repair the rift between herself and Alex. For the most part, he allowed her to care for him but remained distant at the same time.

Like Nora, Charlie had let go of her determinism to reconnect with her mother. They barely spoke and when they did, it was usually a warning to not get too close to Miles and Nora. Yet, Rachel would not offer up any information as to why when questioned, nor would she explain anything about herself. Charlie found herself wary of her mother and unable to trust her.

Surprisingly, it was Charlie who Alex had taken a liking too. He spent most of the days walking with her, listening as she and Danny alternately told stories. When they took breaks or stopped for the night, she kept him occupied. It was the only time Miles saw a smile on Alex's face. If he, Nora, or Rachel got too close, he would shut down.

Alex's giggling caught Miles's attention as they walked, causing him to glance over his shoulder to find him staring up at Charlie with an adoring smile. He smiled faintly and turned back around to keep walking.

"Check that out," he nudged Nora gently in the arm to get her to look. "Guess she is good for something."

"Guess so." she didn't turn around and hopped over a branch that was in her way. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye and held back his irritation. There was keeping your distance and then flat out ignoring. In his opinion, she was doing the latter.

"Maybe we could stop soon." Charlie suggested, suddenly appearing between them.

"That actually doesn't sound like a bad idea."

"Guess I'm good for something else."

Miles glanced down at her, saw the cheeky smile on her face, and let out a short laugh.

"Eavesdropping is rude. I shouldn't have to tell you that at almost twenty one years old."

"It might come in handy one of these days."

"I'll remember that."

"Alex, no, get off of Danny." Rachel's scolding tone made the other Mathesons turn to find Alex climbing onto Danny's back for so he could be carried.

"He's fine." the teen insisted, hoisting his cousin a little higher.

"Danny, he's not as light as he looks. He's going to hurt you and your asthma-"

"Mom, I'm fine."

"We're going to stop in a few minutes anyway," Miles commented. Once they found a clearing, they settled down to rest and eat. As Nora went to sit on a large rock, he grabbed her gently under the arm, pulling her back up. "I could use your help for a little bit."

They stared at each other for a few seconds and she knew that this was not negotiable. Sensing her consent, he turned to the rest of them.

"We're going to go scout ahead, see if there's anything we need to look out for or if we can get some supplies. You guys know what to do if there's trouble." he explained, scanning his eyes over each one of them. He looked at Charlie last, gaze lingering longer than the rest, and she gave a slight nod of understanding. "Alright, we'll be back within the hour."

No one objected so he turned back to Nora and started walking. She fell into step beside him and said nothing as they entered the trees.

"Why do I feel like I'm in the principal's office for a scolding?" she asked a few minutes later. He didn't respond at first but looked over his shoulder. He could no longer see the clearing, which meant they couldn't see them. "Oh, okay, we're going to do the si-"

The rest of her complaint died off as he pushed her against the nearest tree and kissed her hard. He felt her tense under him momentarily, then she was kissing him back and her hands were digging into his shoulders. It was raw and intense, leaving her somewhat dazed when he broke them apart. He pressed his forehead against hers as she blinked slowly.

"We uh, we're not, y'know, going scouting." she mumbled. "Are we?"

"No. You looked like you could use some cheering up and a half hour away from everyone else." he lifted a hand to her cheek and lightly slid his thumb over her lower lip. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"Please," she snorted quietly, rolling her eyes, "I distinctly remember we've broken a few tables and chairs in the past. This hardly registered."

"Okay." he lowered his mouth to hers again but was more gentle this time. There was nothing urgent in this kiss. It was slow and sweet, made her knees weak for different reasons than the first. She pulled him in as close as possible and clung tightly to him. He felt her posture change as he held her. It was as though all the tension, anger, and sadness she had built up over the past few days was draining away. She wanted him to protect her, to be the strong one, and let him do the worrying and decision making.

The only reason they separated was to get air and even then, they only left a small distance between their mouths. She slumped against the tree trunk, pulled him with her, and he kissed her forehead softly.

"I love you."

She clamped her eyes shut at his three words and a tear slipped down her cheek, hitting him in the shoulder. He pulled back slightly, cupped her face in his hands, and tilted her chin up so they were looking each other in the eye.

"I love you." he repeated. "And I am sorry that I made this all happen. I thought I was doing the right thing when in fact, I acted impulsively and selfishly. I can't think straight when it comes to you or Charlie and Danny or now Alex."

She stared at him for a second, then swallowed thickly.

"I can't do this anymore." she whispered. He kept his face blank, waiting for her to expand on that. "It hurts too much and I've tried to be rational but it doesn't work."

"It's been a week. I know this has sucked but everyone's still adjusting."

"He hates us and the more I think about it, if I were in his shoes, I would hate us too. I think, I think we were wrong deciding to do this. I, I wish that, that you never found him, that he was still in Philly. At least before, there was no hope. It hurt but I had nothing to hold on to. I could make myself think of other things, force myself to move on. Now, it's like someone is toying with me. I'm trying to be patient. He's right there but he's not mine. Look but don't touch. I didn't think it could get worse. I honestly thought I was at rock bottom. This is tearing me apart. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Especially because I thought he was gone. It's like we're being haunted. I, I wish he'd go away. Does that make me a bad person, a bad mother?"

"No."

"I think so. Who does this? What kind of mother loses her child and has the opportunity to have him again but when it doesn't go her way, she wants to toss him back?"

"Babe, lis-" he stopped suddenly when he heard the unmistakable roar of a helicopter. They both looked up, though it was difficult to see anything through the canopy of trees. "Come on,"

They took off at a run for the clearing and found the others huddling in the trees. Two helicopters flew overhead, back east towards Philadelphia.

"Were they looking for us?" Charlie asked quietly.

"I don't think so. They were going too fast to be searching. They wouldn't see anything."

"Then where were they going?"

"More like where were they coming from. Where's that map?"

Charlie quickly dug the paper out of her bag and handed it over to her uncle. He spread it out against a tree, slowly drew a line with his finger over the path they had taken since leaving the city. They were in the vicinity of St. Marys. He was distinctly aware of Nora at his shoulder. Then her hand reached out and pointed out several towns nearby.

"These are rebel camps."

"Looks like it didn't take too long for Monroe to start his takeover." Rachel said quietly. "This is my fault. If I didn't make the amplifier, he wouldn't have the helicopters running."

"Well, a little too late for that." Nora muttered. Miles folded the map haphazardly and shoved it towards Charlie. Rachel glowered at the brunette momentarily and said,

"Let's not forget there are others at fault here." she lifted her eyes to her brother-in-law, who grimaced slightly.

"I don't deny anything. A lot, most of it is my fault. Leave her out of this. You've caused enough shit recently."

* * *

"You okay with this?"

Nora lifted her head at Miles's voice and found him standing over her. She sat up straighter and shrugged.

"Do I have a choice?"

They had taken a sharp turn to the south, intending to enter into Virginia, then cut across to Maryland. Nothing could ever go to plan. It wasn't ideal but Miles figured it was better than strutting past Philly. The sight of the ruined rebel bases had stirred a fire within Nora to find her colleagues and help. Not only could she help them, they could probably help them gear up for a fight with Bass. Annapolis was on the way to North Carolina after all. Rachel revealed that there was possibly someone who could help and she would go to him. Miles made the quick decision to go with her.

"I don't trust her." he balanced himself on the edge of the log and scuffed his boot at the dirt. The others were situated about a hundred feet away, which was about as much privacy as they were going to get. "For all we know, she could go running back to Bass. At least this way, I'll be keeping an eye on her. How long do you think it'll take you to get to this base?"

"The way we're going, nine, maybe ten days."

"You know where you're going?"

"Yes."

"And you'll be all right?"

"If you're so worried, you should just come with us."

"I'll only be a few days behind you."

"I know."

"She can't go on her own. You've got Charlie to help."

"I know. We'll be fine. We'll stay out of sight, maybe find some horses, speed it up a bit." she started to move her hand towards her mouth to bite on her nails, a sign of her anxiety, which made him clamp his hand over hers. "Be careful."

"You too. If things get too bad, don't push it. Find somewhere safe to hunker down until it blows over."

"We'll be fine."

"Alex-" his eyes flicked towards their son, watching as he tried hard prove he was as capable as his cousins.

"I'm not going to let anything happen to him. I'll die before that happens."

"I know." he leaned over and kissed the side of her head quickly. Her eyes shut momentarily, knowing that would be the only amount of affection she'd receive in front of the others. She couldn't shake the feeling that this could be the last time they would see each other. "See you in a few days."

"Yeah." her voice was somewhat hollow and he took another moment to look at her. His thumb slid along the top of her hand a few times and she met his eye slowly. Neither of them said a word. When Miles saw Rachel start towards them, he stood up. He glanced back at Nora as they made their way away from the group. She watched until they disappeared from view, then turned to the remaining others.

"Ready?" Charlie asked, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"Let's go." she shouldered her backpack and looked at Alex. She thought about taking his hand but he went to Charlie instead, wrapping his hand in hers.

* * *

"N-Nora?" Alex's voice was soft but it still managed to pull her out of her sleep. She sat up slightly, propping herself on her elbow, and blinked a few times, trying to focus her eyesight. She could barely see him in the darkness but he stood directly at her side with Ollie against his face. Outside, the wind howled mercilessly as rain pounded against the windows of the abandoned farmhouse they were staying in for the night.

"What's the matter?" she wondered what time it was. She should have taken a guard shift at some point. How long had she been asleep?

"I, um, could I sleep here?"

She was instantly awake, the question having caught her off guard. She sat up a little more, heart pounding slightly. Where was Miles when she needed him?

"Of course you can." she scooted back a little, allowing her son some space. He surprised her further when he climbed under the blanket and burrowed against her chest, the soft fur of the plush toy pressed between them. She rearranged the blanket to cover them both and tucked it snugly around him.

"Thank you." his voice was muffled in her shoulder and she cautiously put a hand over him, afraid he was going to run away or disappear into thin air. He simply snuggled further against her and she felt her throat tighten.

"Are you okay?"

"I don't like storms."

As if to punctuate this statement, the large tree outside scraped one of its branches along the window. She felt him squirm and she held him a little tighter, stroked his hair lightly.

"They're not that bad." she kept her voice soft and let her eyes shut. "It's just noise."

"It's scary."

"I know. I didn't like them either when I was your age, especially when it was thundering and lightning."

"Those are the worst."

"Mmm. My mom would sing to me so I didn't hear the storm."

"Do you sing?" he asked quietly after a moment. She raised an eyebrow, smiling slightly even though he couldn't see.

"It's been a while. I would have to think of a song. Do you have any favorites?"

"No one ever sang to me." he was silent, then added, "Dad wouldn't let me stay with him. He said I had to be a man and face my fears."

She felt a rush of anger towards Bass at that moment as she envisioned Alex terrified in his bedroom with no one to comfort him.

"What about-about your m-mom?"

"She worked a lot so I didn't see her as much. Dad said she had a really important job."

"Well, you can always come to one of us if you're scared."

"Thanks."

They both fell silent as she racked her brain for a song. She couldn't remember the last time she had sung, though she knew she was awful. Unlike most of her fellow pageant girls, she had danced her way to her crowns and sashes rather than sing.

"Nora?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I made you cry." he said quietly. The apology surprised her and she looked down at the top of his head. He looked up at her shyly.

"You didn't."

"Yes I did. The other day. I don't want you to be sad."

"It wasn't because of you. I," she hesitated, unsure of how to continue. How did you explain their horrific twist of fate that seemed more suited for a melodrama? "I was very sad for a long time after we thought you were gone. I missed you very much. I hadn't... I hadn't thought about that for a long time so it was hard for me to talk about it. That's why I was crying."

She paused again, contemplating her options. He must have felt some sort of emotion towards her that he sought her out to comfort him, rather than finding Charlie, and also felt like he had to apologize.

"I know the past few days have been crazy and I know it's been confusing for you. You're hearing a lot of things and you're not sure what's the truth or what to do. I'm not going to push you, okay? I want you to be happy so if Rachel or Charlie does that, I'm okay with it. You're not going to make me sad. But I do want you to know that I love you more than anything and Miles does too and I don't want you to forget that, no matter what you may hear or what might happen. Okay?"

He took a second, then nodded. Another beat, and he said softly, "I like being with you too. You're really nice. I...I don't want Mom to get sad too and she doesn't like when I talk about you."

That solved one mystery then. With Rachel a safe distance away, Alex felt as though he could push his boundaries a bit.

"It's not your job to make everyone feel happy baby. You don't get to protect us. We protect you. So you do what you want, within reason. If you want a day with me and Miles, that's okay. If you want time with Rachel, that's okay too. I promise when she gets back, I will talk to her about it. That's not fair to you."

Quietly, she started to sing an old Rascal Flatts song that popped into her head. She was amazed that she remembered most of the words, having not heard it in many years. He pressed his head against her and soon, his breathing evened out. She kissed the top of his head gently and forced herself to fall back asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Nora sunk down slowly next to the cot Miles was asleep on. He was turned on his side towards her, probably due to the fact his back was bruised and bandaged, and even asleep he didn't look completely at rest. A deep frown was set into his features and the corners of his eyes were tightened, as though he was thinking hard about something or in the midst of a nightmare. She skimmed her palm gently over his cheek and slipped her fingers into his hair to feel the lump from where he had hit the ground earlier.

She couldn't shake the image from her head. The past few hours had been particularly trying as the helicopters arrived in the city to attack. Despite Alex being safely inside with the others, she hated herself for bringing him into such a dangerous situation. She was terrified Miles wouldn't make it in time or something had happened to him. She worried for Charlie and Danny. When she had seen Miles and Rachel ride up, she had felt her anxiety level lower significantly, only to have it spike through the roof several minutes later.

She put every ounce of confidence she had in her husband, knowing he was more than capable of protecting them all. She would have love to drag him off into a corner somewhere but she knew that wasn't possible. Instead, she watched as he set up the rocket launcher as Rachel spouted off instructions. He saw her out of the corner of his eye and turned his head completely to look at her. There was nothing to say, no time to say it, but they had been past the use of words for years now. A single glance conveyed more than an entire sentence could. _I love you. _**I know. **_I trust you_. **You don't have to worry. **_Be careful_.

Was he careful? Of course not. The sight of him flying into the metal container, then hitting the ground stopped her heart. For a second, she couldn't react, then she jumped into action. Rachel and Charlie got there before her and she wasn't able to dart out into the open with the helicopter hovering right there. She let out a relieved breath as she saw finally Miles move.

Then Danny decided to be a hero. It happened so fast she wasn't even sure what had happened at first. She was still looking at Miles when he yelled for their nephew. Then the helicopter exploded, and its companion fired erratically as it went down. Danny didn't make a noise but Charlie screamed, Rachel rushed towards him, and even Miles tried to get to his feet. Nora snapped into action then, trying to hold Charlie back as Rachel attempted to help Danny. It was a futile attempt and her niece broke away, crying hard as she approached her brother. She saw Miles limp into her peripheral vision. One minute he was there, staring at the horrific scene before them, and then the next he was slumped onto the ground unconscious.

It had been Ramsey and Nicholas who hustled him into the building, situated him on a cot, and did a quick exam to figure out if anything serious was wrong.

A low groan from Miles brought her out of her thoughts and she looked down to see him blinking slowly.

"Hey," she kept her voice quiet as she stroked her fingers over his cheek gently. He turned his head slightly and groaned again, wincing in pain. "It's okay. Take it easy."

His eyes finally focused on her and she smiled a little.

"How's the pain?"

"Bearable."

"They can give you something." she offered, knowing he would never verbally admit to being injured.

"Nothing a bottle of whiskey won't fix."

"Sort of low in supply on that."

He rolled his eyes, then shut them with a tired sigh.

"Where are they?" he muttered. He brought a hand up, running it along her forearm, then pried her hand off his face. She wrapped her fingers tightly around his, refusing to let go of him. She felt him squeeze gently, a reassurance that he wasn't dead.

"Alex is with some of the other kids. I don't know where Rachel is. I... I think Charlie is with Danny. She's, she's been down there a while now."

A pained expression crossed his face but as soon as it had appeared, it was gone. She didn't know what to say to him. She knew what she wanted to say but that didn't seem prudent for the time being.

"I'm sorry," she whispered instead. And she was. But she was also relieved that it wasn't him lying down the hall in the mock morgue. She wondered what kind of person that made her.

* * *

Later, Nora saw Rachel sitting by herself in the hallway. She hesitated, watching the blonde from the doorway, then sighed inwardly and took a step forward.

"Hi," she stopped a few feet away from the other woman and kept her hands clasped in front of her. Rachel tilted her head up to look at Nora.

"Have you come to say something about karma?" she asked quietly, a cool glare in her eyes.

"No." the brunette looked wounded at the idea. "I wanted to tell you I was sorry about Danny. I know it doesn't help but what he did was extremely brave."

"Sure. Well, thanks."

"Do, do you want me to get you anything?"

"Why are you doing this? I figured you would be the one who would say I had this coming."

"No matter what I think of you, no one should have to lose their child. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Sorry to have intruded on your solitude."

She turned to walk away, ignoring the fact that Rachel seemed to have started to say something. This small act on her part had been her attempt at extending the olive branch. What she said was true. As much as she despised Rachel, she still felt awful that she had lost Danny. Nora had intended to keep her promise to Alex and find some sort of balance between herself and Rachel. Now, it was fueled even further. How could she even contemplate taking Alex from her as well?

* * *

"Where are you running off to so fast?"

"Bed."

"Why? The night is young."

She rolled her eyes and turned on the stairs to look at him. He stared up at her, leaning on the railing, and climbed another step. He lifted his eyebrows at her and took a swig from the bottle in his hand.

"You should go easy on that." she gestured. "Especially if you're going after Jim in the morning. He really will kick your ass if you're hungover."

"Yes Mom."

The sarcastic response only made her more agitated and her eyes narrowed slightly.

"Never mind. You're a big boy Miles. You can make your own decisions. Good night."

"Good night?" he echoed, a laugh in his voice. "You're joking."

"No, I'm not. I'll see you in the morning."

"Or I'll just come with you." he followed her the rest of the way up the stairs to one of the bedrooms in the base.

"No."

"Pretty sure there's nothing that says I can't sleep with my wife." he leaned in towards her and she put a hand on his chest to stop him.

"There is when she tells you no. I mean it. You know I hate when you do this and I didn't appreciate that little scene outside either."

"I was being truthful."

"You were being a dick. You could have been truthful without the snide remarks."

"Well, we know there's no other side to me,"

"That's not true."

"Then you're the only one who thinks that." he sobered slightly and lowered his head more. She pushed weakly but he caught her mouth in his and her fingers tightened around the material of his shirt.

"Come on, stop." she mumbled as they pulled apart. He made some noise, as though to show he was listening and understood, but moved in again to plant sloppy, wet kisses along her jaw and neck. "Knock it off."

"Nora,"

"I've made you sleep on the couch plenty of times. I won't hesitate to do it again. Get rid of that bottle and sober up. Then you can come to bed. If you'd rather wallow and finish that, find somewhere else to sleep." she stared up at him, then glanced away and sighed. "I know today was rough. I get it, I do but it's not going to help or make things easier. You know that."

"You'll come with me to get Jim?" he asked, ignoring her last comment. She blinked a few times, but shook her head, knowing he was going to be stubborn and plow past anything he didn't want to hear.

"Sure. Someone has to stop him from shooting you." she said. His mouth twitched with a hint of a smirk and she raised an eyebrow. "You think I'm joking."

"No. Not in the least."

* * *

She didn't expect him to show up during the night but at some point, she woke up and he was crammed into the twin sized bed with her- pressed against her back, arm looped tightly around her waist. She twisted slowly so she didn't knock either of them off the mattress and slipped her arm over him. After a moment, she felt his mouth press against her hairline. She tightened her hold on him and tried to make the moment last as long as possible while she attempted to ignore the nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach. But she knew him, knew at some point soon he would pull away from her, and then all hell was going to break loose.


	13. Chapter 13

**May 2013- Eight months after the blackout**

"I'm officially going to hell."

Bass looked up from his Sudoku puzzle to see Miles sitting on the edge of the bed with his hands pressed against his mouth. He stared straight ahead at a point where the floor met the wall and rocked back and forth slightly.

"Officially? You got your acceptance letter and everything? Well, congratulations." he smirked at the irritated grunt his friend let out but sighed dramatically and gave him his attention. "What did you do to Nora?"

"Who says I did anything to her?"

"Uh, ever since we stayed that night in those cabins, you two have acted like the other has cooties. Plus, before then, I saw you having your little nerd chats all the time." Bass propped his feet up on the chair next to him and turned his attention back to his puzzle. He frowned deeply, then flipped the pencil over to erase one of his boxes. "You're beating yourself up because you think she is too young. You always made faces any time I picked up a girl who was two or more years younger than me and there's a full decade between you two. Now you're just a hypocrite and think you're a pervert."

"You come up with that all on your own?"

"Don't try to deny it. So what did you do?"

"I haven't done anything."

"Then why are you going to hell? You can look and fantasize. Just don't touch. _I_ would say touch but I know _you_ have a stick up your ass so you won't make a move."

"This is your fault and also the fact that I haven't gotten laid since the blackout."

"Dude, you hadn't gotten laid in quite some time before the blackout. You better make sure everything still works before you try and get in her pants. She'll really think you're old then."

"You're an asshole."

"Yeah, basically. If all this is is that you're feeling guilty over lusty thoughts, I'm tuning out. When something good happens, let me know."

"I kind of walked in on her... getting dressed."

"Accidentally or were you timing this and walked in at the right moment?"

"Accidentally. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Well, I don't know! You could totally be one of those voyeuristic creepers." Bass smirked behind the book and filled in a couple numbers. "How'd she look?"

"Bass."

"It's just us and she's an adult. Nothing wrong with gossiping. It's like... accidentally walking in on someone at the gym, or a spa."

Miles scowled and said nothing, refusing to be baited by his best friend. Still, it was difficult to shake the image of Nora standing in a black bra and the matching snug, lacy underwear. She had grabbed her shirt quickly to cover herself up but he still got a good glimpse of her. Long legs, curves in the right places, a flat, toned stomach-

"You're drooling." Bass's laugh snapped Miles out of his daze.

"This is ridiculous."

"You're right. I bet she's very willing. I think she has that hero worship thing going for you. You're both adults-"

"Stop saying that."

"Well, it's true. It's important that you don't forget that. Yeah, she's young but she's not that young."

"Is that how you rationalize your many girlfriends?"

"Pretty much. Sure, they can, at times, be emotionally stunted but I'm not looking for in depth conversation. Nora... well, let's put it this way. With the apocalypse upon us, I don't think any of the girls I slept with would've been able to find their way out of their apartments."

"At least you admit you have low standards."

"Depends on what kind of skills you're looking for. In some areas I have pretty high standards. Anyway, Nora bundled up her sister and walked from San Antonio to find her father and managed to keep them both alive while doing it. She's not some weak, innocent kid. She's been through a lot, she has a good head on her shoulders. Even before the blackout it seems like she was pretty well put together. She's a mature young woman and any person would be lucky to have her. You need to stop being so honorable. The world isn't what it used to be."

"It's only because I haven't seen another woman in months."

"Okay."

"Now you're just patronizing me."

"Pretty much."

"I don't like her. I saw boobs and an ass. I was set. Then I realized who I was looking at."

"And the fact that you find her mentally appealing has nothing to do with it. Miles, this isn't complicated. You have to throw yourself out there. Take control."

* * *

Maybe. Maybe he would attempt to hint that perhaps they should... should what? It wasn't like he could take her to dinner and a movie.

They were never alone long enough to discuss the possibility and he sure as hell wasn't going to make a scene in front of the others. It was bad enough he had Bass continually whispering that he needed to find an opening like some awful devil sitting on his shoulder. He could only imagine what would happen if Jeremy and Mia caught on as well.

All these thoughts and more were running through Miles's head as he made his way down the stairwell of the hotel they had sought refuge in. They had gone three days without any major incident and that afternoon, they had broken their streak. It killed him the sort of things they were seeing and being forced to deal with. Why couldn't they just make it to Indianapolis without getting jumped by robbers or cannibals or whoever the hell else seemed to be crawling out of the woodwork these days? He knew he wasn't going to get an answer, or at least an answer he liked. The world had gone crazy and humanity had decided to throw caution to the wind and do whatever the hell it pleased. He was disgusted.

He was also in the process of trying to find Nora. They had settled into the rooms about an hour before. She had attempted to help Jeremy and Bass patch up Mia's sprained ankle before giving up and saying she was going to find something to eat for them all. Unless she had left the hotel, he highly doubted she had gone for food, especially given her mood when she had left. He would have put money on the idea that she was hiding from them.

He found her on the first floor in a bathroom near the Applebee's that served as the former restaurant for the hotel. She stood at one of the sinks, scrubbing her hands raw with a bar of soap. He watched from the doorway as she reached for the water bottle sitting on the edge and spilled part of it out because her hands were shaking so bad. She poured some into her hand and began scrubbing again.

"Nora," he spoke quietly, not wanting to startle her, but she jumped anyway. Her head shot up and her red rimmed eyes met his.

"I don't-did he-what did I-" she couldn't speak. She tripped over her words through hard sobs and he stepped forward slowly.

"You did what you had to."

"He-he's dead isn't he? I killed him."

He said nothing but gently pried the soap away from her.

"You're going to peel the skin right off your hands."

"I-I don't care." she hiccuped. "I-I can't make it, it stop. My hands-"

"-will be fine. Calm down."

"I can't, can't stop shaking. M-Miles, I-I killed that person."

"Shh," he pulled her hands over the sink and poured more water over them to get the soap off. "I know it's tough."

"We're n-not supposed to, to kill o-others."

"He was going to hurt your sister. You were protecting her. You did the right thing. It's rough and I know this sounds blunt and mean but now, you either have to kill or be killed. If you want to survive, you're going to make some tough decisions. He was killing to be evil. You were doing it in defense. You didn't go up and shoot him between the eyes because you felt like it. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to protect you two."

His back ached from where he had hit the tree after grappling with the looter and he couldn't stop playing the scene over in his head. The gun had gone flying, Mia had been grabbed and started to get dragged off, and then he heard the shot and saw Nora with the gun, a pale, horrified expression on her face, and the bastard laying on his stomach with a pool of blood forming rapidly around him.

"Dry your hands off." he ordered gently. She pulled her hands out of his grasp and wiped them along her jeans. Tears were still flowing freely down her cheeks and she brought her hands up to bury her face in them. "Hey,"

He reached for her hands, pulled them down enough so they could see each other. He kept them in his, holding firmly.

"You did the right thing."

"It doesn't feel like it."

"You acted on instinct. Mia was in danger and you knew you needed to keep her safe. Anyone in your position would have done the same. Don't beat yourself up over it."

She laughed hollowly, unable to believe how he was talking. Then, she remembered, he was a marine. He had killed plenty of people probably.

"Does it ever get easier?"

"You learn to deal with it."

She nodded weakly, not necessarily agreeing with him, and took a step forward. She leaned against him and snaked her arms around his waist. He froze at the sudden contact but understood she needed the comfort. Seeing how distraught she was, he wasn't in the mood to fight her. He put his arms around her shoulders and rubbed a hand awkwardly over her back.

After some time, he felt her head move and he looked down to find her staring up at him, tears clinging to her eyelashes. He didn't like the way she was looking at him, as though he was some damn hero who had swooped in and rescued her. He also didn't like the way her gaze made his stomach somersault as though he were a prepubescent idiot again.

He had about half a foot on her height-wise so she braced herself on his shoulders and pushed up on her toes. At first, he didn't know what she was doing but then she was in his face, their mouths nearly touching.

"Nora," he tipped his head back slightly and she sunk back down.

"You don't want to."

"This is a bad idea."

"Why?"

"You're not in a good state right now."

"I know what I'm doing."

"You'll regret it later."

"No I won't." she leaned in again. "Miles, please."

He gazed down at her, swallowed thickly, and said nothing. She took this as a good sign and lightly pressed her lips against his. Neither of them moved at first. He didn't want to push her in any way. He would let her take charge. She slowly kissed harder, then he felt her mouth open. Half of him was saying this was a terrible idea while the other half said fuck it. The latter part won and he reciprocated, though he tried to restrain himself.

Her hands slipped from his shoulders up into his hair while he held her hips tightly. They were not doing this. But they were and yes, he was going to hell, because he was enjoying it. _No, you haven't touched someone in months. This is a natural human reaction. _**Shut up Matheson. You care about her. Otherwise you wouldn't have come looking for her. You wanted to kiss her. You didn't deny it. You said she wasn't in a good state, not that you never wanted to do this. **

"Alright," he managed to find the strength to pull away from her and took a step back, untangling her hands from him. He went to put his hand over his mouth, figured that would insult her, and scratched his head instead. "Okay,"

They stared at each other, neither sure what to do at this point. Her face was red and he watched as he brought her hand to her mouth, biting on her nails like she did any time she was nervous.

"I'm sorry." she mumbled around her finger. He shrugged quietly, rubbing at his head again. What the fuck was wrong with him? She was clearly distraught and he allowed himself to take advantage of her. She was upset and looked for comfort in the wrong place and he took her in for his own reasons.

Still, on some level, he knew she wasn't sorry because she was looking at him like she wanted to try again. Like this had been the only bright spot in her otherwise shitty day. He cleared his throat, trying to ignore the tiny voice in his head that said he wanted to try again too.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What?"

"That-" she mimicked his shrug, dropping her hand.

"I-I don't know." he shrugged again and averted her gaze. She nodded slightly and tilted her head down, trying to hide the hurt expression on her face. He saw it anyway, which made him feel like more of a jackass.

Silently, she moved past him to leave the bathroom. He didn't try to follow after her.


	14. Chapter 14

Nora couldn't take it anymore. She had stayed up half the night, replaying the scene over in her head, and trying to figure out what Miles had meant.

_Guys like us can't have that. If you care about somebody you're just going to let them down. Or worse, get them killed. _

She told herself that this was about Danny and the guilt Miles felt. She told herself he was only saying those things to get Jim to agree to come with them. But it still stung. As did the resulting conversation with her old friend as they left Culpeper.

"_How did you get dragged into this?" _

"_What do you mean?" _

"_I mean, given that rousing speech our fearless leader gave before, I figured something had happened between you two since you left Philadelphia. Yet, you were right up his ass as always. Or are you the exception to the rule?" _

"_I'd like to think so. But, there were a few years we weren't together." _

"_You mean you got rid of Miles Matheson and instead of running as far away as possible, you wound up crawling back?" _

"_He crawled back, if we're going to get technical. But, yeah, I agreed to help him and... well, you know us. I guess that old saying was true. What, absence makes the heart grow fonder?" _

"_Fond? For him? Must've been a pretty long absence." _

"_I've missed having you around." _

"_Can't say the same for you two. Things are okay then?" _

"_Yeah." _

"_Well, I hope you let him in on that little secret because it doesn't seem like he knows."_

She lifted her head slightly, scanning the area for Miles, and wasn't at all surprised to see he was the one on guard duty. She threw the blanket back and climbed to her feet to go to him.

"I just started this shift so go back to sleep."

"I wasn't asleep." she sat down next to him and followed his laser stare, which was focused on Alex asleep next to Charlie. He turned his head to look out into the woods and also to avoid her. "So,"

"Don't. Alright, just-don't."

"Well, I'm going to. You can pretend you're not listening all you want but I know you are so don't make a snide remark about saving my breath. I will hit you."

"Whatever. Still a waste of time and energy. I told you before I don't want to talk so drop it."

She rammed her shoulder into his roughly and he glanced at her long enough to see the glare in her eyes.

"You don't say something like you did earlier and expect me to drop it. What the hell is going on?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It matters to me."

"Why?"

"Is that a serious question? Jesus, I've been down this road before with you and every time, I think I'm not going to make it to the end. You can't have it both ways. You can't pick and choose which days we're going to try and patch things up and pretend like we're some loving family. You can't throw around the wife card and expect me to fall at your feet and then the next day, act like I don't even exist. You dragged me back into this, you dragged Alex into this. You don't get to go sulk in the corner anymore and have a temper tantrum because things aren't going how you planned."

"Oh, you mean like you did?"

"And weren't you the one telling me to calm down and try to be more open minded, that everything was going to fall into place?"

"Yeah, I'm going to plead temporary insanity on that one."

"Right. You know what I think? I think the General Matheson part of you is the temporary insane part. I think that you allow yourself a specific amount of happiness before you cave and run. You think that you have to be this fearsome leader who would sacrifice everything he has for the greater good. But then, there are these little moments that manage to break through that let me know you still want this, us, whatever."

"What I want and what needs to happen are two totally different things. Look what happened the last time we tried to be domestic. How did that turn out?"

"It didn't have to be that way."

"You're right. We should have stayed in Philly and been miserable."

"I mean you didn't have to turn your back on me. We didn't have to stay in Philly. We could have gone anywhere. Hell, I'd have taken a cardboard box as long as it meant that I was with you and you actually acted like a human. You know who I want? I want the Miles after Trenton because he seemed to be able to get it through his head that he wasn't invincible and there was actually something worth living for."

"I can't be who you want me to be."

"Can't or won't?"

"Can't. That's never going to change. Something is always going to happen to make this impossible."

"You don't try hard enough. God forbid you need to put a little extra effort into something."

"I do try and that's the problem. Things get worse when I get involved."

"That's not true."

"Really? Look at the Republic. Look at Alex, Charlie, Danny. Us."

"Things get worse when you walk away."

A rustling noise from across the fire made them both fall silent. Alex sat up groggily and eyed the group, then focused on them. He pushed himself to his feet and stumbled towards them, rubbing a hand over his eye.

"I have to go to the bathroom." he mumbled, yawning loudly. Nora glanced at Miles, who hesitated, then stood.

"I'll stay here until you get back." she said. He nodded silently and started walking towards the trees. Alex fell in step next to him and slipped his hand into his. Miles glanced down, tightened his grip a little, and continued walking just far enough to give Alex some privacy.

"'Kay, do your business and let's go." he leaned against a tree and looked in the opposite direction. He waited and waited, then glanced towards his son. "How long have you had to go?"

Alex shrugged wordlessly and Miles sighed, tilting his head against the tree trunk.

"No one was awake." he said.

"Then you wake one of us up. It's bad for your kidneys."

"What's a kidney?"

"Makes you pee."

"Oh."

"You done?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, let's go." he put a hand on his back, ready to propel him forward but Alex dug his heels into the ground and remained where he was. Miles felt his irritation rise and his "Look," was definitely abrupt sounding. He stopped himself, pinched the bridge of his nose, and took a deep breath. "It is late. We're getting up early tomorrow. Let's go back to camp."

"I'm glad you came back." Alex's voice was quiet, head tilted down to hide the blush on his face. "I...I thought you were gonna die... like Danny."

At that point, Miles felt as though someone had reached down his throat and scraped at his insides. He hadn't had many encounters with his son but it had been enough to lay down a foundation that hopefully one day would be built upon. To have him make a comment like that, that he was glad he was alive, made him feel conflicted. He hadn't thought Alex cared that much. What made the boy think that? It wasn't as if Miles had done anything worth his love and idolatry. Or was it that instinctual squirming its way to the top?

He looked down and partially met Alex's eye. One more person relying on him. One more person looking at him with a hopeful gleam in their eye, as though he was their hero. One more person who would soon look at him with despair at the atrocities he could and would do. One more person to break. _What the hell have you done? What have you exposed him to? _

"No one else is going to die. Let's get back to camp."

They returned without another word between them and Alex quickly crawled back into his makeshift bed. Miles knelt down, pulled the thin blanket over him, and sat silently for a moment. Alex gave him a slight smile over the top of the blanket and closed his eyes. Miles waited a few more seconds, then gently brushed his hand over Alex's hair. His gaze shifted to Charlie, who looked somewhat restless and had tear stains on her face, causing his guilt to intensify.

He finally stood and made his way back to where Nora was sitting against the tree. She tilted her head up to him with a sad expression, waiting as he sat next to her.

"Tell me you don't love me."

He said nothing. She turned sideways to face him completely, though he wouldn't meet her eye.

"Tell me you don't love me and I will leave. I'll take Alex, I'd say I'd take Charlie but I know she's adamant about staying, and we will go. We'll make it easier on you. You won't have to be worried or guilt ridden. You can go on your suicide mission by yourself."

"Will you stop? Don't you get the reason this is- why I'm- every thought that is running through my head is because I _do _love you. I feel sorry for you. It's like Jim said, I'm a wrecking ball."

"You are not a wrecking ball. Don't feel sorry for me. I chose you. I made the first move. I stood by you, even when the shit hit the fan."

"Which I still don't understand. You could do a whole lot better."

"Yeah, you've been saying that for fifteen years."

"You'd be better off getting out of here, finding somewhere to settle down and get away from all of this."

"And that is all fine and dandy except I know that's not going to happen because it doesn't matter where I go, someone is going to follow or find me. Besides that, I'm not one to stick my head in the sand. I'm doing this because I have something, no- someone_s _worth fighting for. You do too. That's why you do this, that's why you started all this."

"Again, look how that turned out."

"Fix it! Don't sit here moping and pushing us all away. You can't crawl into your hole and bury your face in a bottle. We have a chance to make things right, to finally move on, and I want that. But it's not just going to happen with a snap of your fingers. It's going to suck and it's going to be hard and we'll have to make sacrifices, and yeah, most likely we're going to lose some people. I'm terrified but I'm not giving up because I know once we get past it, it's going to be worth it."

"That's not real life. We are never going to be able to have that. You won't be able to have that if you stay here."

"We did have it."

"Didn't last long."

"We know what mistakes not to make this time."


	15. Chapter 15

**May 2013- Eight Months After the Blackout**

Bass looked up when he heard the door to the hotel room open slowly. He looked up in time to see Miles hesitantly poke his head around the corner. His eyes scanned the room anxiously before his expression became one that was a mix of relief and disappointment.

"Where the hell have you been?"

"I was downstairs." he came in completely and shut the door quietly, double locking it as well. He passed by the two beds- the one closest to the door was occupied by Bass and the further one contained Jeremy sprawled out with an old Sports Illustrated next to him- and sunk into the armchair by the window. "Where's Mia?"

"Nora came and got her about half an hour ago."

"She looked pretty upset." Jeremy commented quietly. He glanced up at Miles, who kept his eyes trained on the fading sunlight. "Did you see her downstairs?"

"I saw her for a minute or two."

"Did she say anything to you? She wouldn't talk to us."

"Are you her mother?"

"I'm merely a concerned friend."

"Well, I would think by the way she ignored you, she doesn't want any of your concern."

"Did she get some of yours?"

Miles said nothing but huffed irritably. Bass stared him down for a moment, noting the tension in his shoulders and the extremely faint tinge of red in his cheeks, and in turn, Jeremy stared Bass down.

"I don't believe it." Bass muttered, looking somewhat displeased. Jeremy frowned, then started to smile.

"I take it I win."

"No, hang on, there are protocols to be followed."

"I said June. You said never. I win by default."

"No, the deal was when he kissed her."

Miles's head whipped around and Bass looked at him calmly.

"Did you kiss her?"

"What the fuck."

"See, I have a bottle of Jack stashed in my bag and I bet it to Jeremy that you would never kiss Nora. He said he gave you until June. The sexual tension was too much for him. I figured that stick was too far up your ass. But I clearly said you had to kiss her. If she kissed you, it doesn't count."

"We didn't kiss."

"I beg to differ. I've seen you or experienced the aftermath of you kissing someone. I know the signs. Plus, you seemed like you didn't want to happen to run into her when you walked in. But you did. Then there was the fact that she was pretty upset when she came for Mia and she had that, 'we just kissed and it was atrocious' look on her face."

"It wasn't atrocious." Miles argued quickly, then realized what he had said. His friends beamed happily while he swore under his breath.

"I told you he was too cocky for his own good. Insult his wooing skills and he'll kick your ass." Bass said to Jeremy, then looked to Miles, who was glaring venomously at him. "So, who did it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"She did, didn't she? End of discussion. The bottle remains mine."

"Did you kiss her back?" Jeremy asked. "If he kissed her back, it counts."

"Do you realize how you two sound? Don't you have anything better to do?"

"No. You're like our very own personal Days of our Lives. It's all the entertainment we have left."

"I'm not here to be entertaining and quite frankly Jeremy, you don't really need to be here at all. I would leave your ass here."

"I noticed you left Bass out of that threat."

"He knows he couldn't leave me behind."

Miles slumped further down into the chair, wishing there was some way to mute the two of them.

* * *

It took a day and a half, but finally he caved and decided he would be the adult in the situation. They hadn't talked to each other, nor had they seen each other. Bass had done the hourly checks to make sure Nora and Mia were all right in their own room across the hall. Now, Miles was pounding on the door himself, trying to regain any sense of normalcy between them.

"Nora, come on! Open the door."

"Kind of hard to open the door when you're not in the room."

He twisted his head to see her loitering near an alcove down near the end of the hallway. They stared at each other for a minute, then he slowly walked towards her. She slipped into the alcove, which housed a vending machine and an ice machine, and leaned against the ice machine. The vending machine had had its glass smashed at some point in the past and held no trace of candy or chips.

"We need to talk about the other night."

"Why?"

"Because we live together and are traveling together for God only knows how long and there's no point in making things awkward."

"Fine. Great. End of discussion. Let's move on." she pushed herself away from the machine to move past him but he grabbed her arm gently. She stopped next to him and tilted her head up to look at him. "Please let go of me."

"No, I, that's not the end of discussion." though he did release her.

"Look, this is already awkward, no point in prolonging it."

"That's what I'm saying." he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall. "Things have been fairly good so far. I don't want to wreck that. You're very nice and-"

"Don't try it. Okay? You don't need to shower me with compliments and try to make me feel good about myself while you reject me."

"I'm not rejecting you. It's difficult, alright?"

"Why is it difficult? From what I could tell down there, you were interested."

"Look," he felt himself get flustered and licked his lips, "you're a sweet kid-"

"There's your problem." she poked him roughly in the arm, glowering at him with irritation. "I am not a kid."

"You're young Nora and you're innocent," she scoffed at him and he rolled his eyes, "relatively innocent. Me, it's-we're at different points, alright?"

"Jesus, I'm not asking you to marry me. I kissed you. You obviously have some inner demons because of the age thing. Stop looking at me like I'm ten and realize I'm an adult just like you."

"Twenty one and thirty one are worlds away from each other. You've got a lot of growing up to do."

"I've done my fair share of growing up."

"It's not the same."

"Right, so let's ignore the fact that we get along great, have a lot in common, and you were clearly interested. Little unimportant things like numbers are obviously the bigger issue." she gave him a dirty look and he held back a sigh. It wasn't as if she was wrong. She was right. Even though he tried keeping his distance in the beginning, they quickly became friends. Most nights, they would find each other and talk while the others were asleep. Most times, it was easy to forget who he was talking too. She and Bass were both right. She was more mature than most people her age, hell she was more mature than some people his age.

"It's complicated."

"You're making it complicated. This could be the easiest thing in the world."

"It is complicated. I don't want to hurt you."

"Who says you're going to hurt me? Maybe I'll hurt you. Again, I'm not asking you to marry me. I'm not even asking for exclusive rights to you. You don't have to be my boyfriend or hold my hand. All I'm saying is something happened down there. Something's been happening since that night at the cabin and we've been darting around it for two weeks now. Look, in a few weeks, you'll be rid of me anyway so what's the big deal?"

"So that's fine with you?"

"Yes."

"Because I'm not Prince Charming or whatever. This wouldn't be some grand love affair."

"I'm not the romantic type."

He wanted to laugh at her, clearly lying to him, but kept his face blank. She smiled slightly and took a step inwards so they were chest to chest.

"Are you attracted to me?" she asked quietly, staring up at him through her lashes. He stared down at her, gulped, and suddenly felt cornered. He thought at that moment he would never be able to lie to her. His lack of response made her smile widen and she pressed closer to him. "Did you like kissing me?"

"Are you fishing for compliments?"

"Do you ever give a straight answer?"

"Maybe."

"So did you enjoy yourself then?"

"Yes."

"Then let's leave it at that. We're two people who may like each other and are using each other to sate our needs. Unless you and Bass help each other out in that department."

"No, definitely not."

"Fine. Then it's settled."

"I don't want you having any regrets."

"Just make sure you have none either."

He rolled his eyes at her again but sobered up quickly when he realized they were still pressed against each other. She was still smiling, though it turned somewhat bashful, and he wanted to put an end to it then and there. He knew she was trying to act older, act as though she was experienced, and he knew better. He shouldn't be taking advantage of her.

"Are you going to kiss me or stare at me?" she asked quietly.

"You sure about this?"

"Positive."

He took one more look at her face, then leaned down towards her. When their mouths were only mere centimeters apart, he muttered,

"I don't want you having any expectations. This means nothing."

"Just shut up already." she cupped the back of his head, pulling him to her the rest of the way. They met in a soft, tentative kiss. He put his arm around her shoulders, cradling the back of her neck in the crook of his elbow, and took control, slowly deepening the kiss and taking his time. They pulled away slightly and she gazed up at him with a small smile. She started to lean back into him when he frowned a little. "Okay, you need to stop doing that."

"Did you say anything to Bass or Jeremy?"

"No. Why?"

"They seemed to think they know. It was probably a mind game. Bass enjoys those. Jeremy seems like he would too."

"Are we really talking about Bass and Jeremy right now?"

"Do you enjoy this? Or rather, us? I mean, is it... fulfilling? It's not atrocious or anything, right?"

"I wouldn't waste my time if it was." she smirked, kissing him in hopes that would keep him quiet for a while. Instead, she was the first to pull away, though it was only enough to separate their mouths. She was still smirking when she asked him, "Who's fishing for compliments now?"


	16. Chapter 16

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

Nora lifted her head to find Rachel standing over her. She glanced down at the tabletop and the weapon parts scattered about, then looked back to the older woman. It was the first time she could ever remember Rachel asking for anything from her so she agreed. They walked away from the majority of the rebels to sit on the outskirts of the base.

"What can I help you with?"

"I'm going to leave. I can turn the power back on. I," she hesitated, twisting her head slightly to look at their family. Alex sat between Charlie and Jason, looking happier than either of them had seen him in some time, while Miles sat a few feet away with a scowl on his face as he kept a watchful eye over them. "I don't think it needs to be said but I want you to watch after Alex."

"You're right. It doesn't need to be said. I'm trying very hard to keep my opinions to myself but I find it completely ridiculous that you're trying to hand my parental rights back to me. Watch after Alex. Like _you're _asking _me _for a favor in regards to my own child."

"I understand. I just want to make sure that-"

"-that I wouldn't desert him? No, definitely not."

"No, I know that. There's just some things you need to know about him."

"Rachel, I don't need pointers from you. I'm positive I can care for a child."

"Nora, you may be his mother but you're not his mom. You don't know him. I'm trying to help."

"Don't. Frankly, I'll be glad when you pack your crap and hit the road. I have tried really hard the past few weeks to reach out to you and it's been the same bullshit as always from you."

"I know things are... strained right now but you have to respect the fact that I raised him. He's partially mine. It's unorthodox and shouldn't have happened but it did and I can't change the past. I love him. I would never hurt him and I don't want anything to happen to him. I need to know that he'll be looked after and cared for. The same goes for Charlie."

"You don't have to worry." Nora turned to walk back to her work but Rachel called out softly to her.

"Nora, wait, please." when she slowly turned to her once again, Rachel took a deep breath, then sighed softly. "You were right. I-I did know what Bass was planning."

"What?"

"I wanted to let you know. I wanted to apologize, try to make amends before I left. Since Danny—I, I've been trying to do the right thing. That's why I'm telling you this and why I'm going to go try to turn the power back on."

"An apology doesn't fix this."

"I understand that. I just wanted you to know that, that I wasn't completely faultless in the whole thing."

"Rachel, I never thought that from the beginning. You have nothing to confess because I figured just as much."

"But you need to know this."

"I don't want to hear it."

"Bass thought that you and Miles were trying to usurp the presidency. After Miles was injured at Trenton, Bass lost it a little."

"You weren't there. You don't know what you're talking about."

"But he told me things. He always thought Miles was going to leave you but when you two seemed to repair your relationship, he started to get worried. He became paranoid, especially as his and Miles's relationship started to get strained. He was convinced that you were going to stage a coup. When you got pregnant, it only got worse. Now there would be an heir to take over when Miles couldn't run things anymore. The baby scared him. He figured that would cement everything. He was going to get rid of Alex. He never wanted to hurt him but he wanted him out of the way. He had an illegal buyer set up and everything but at the last minute, he couldn't go through with it. He had Neville kill the buyer.

"He... he wanted a child, so that he would have his own heir but I couldn't. After Danny was born, I wasn't able to have another. So he came to me and said we would raise Alex. I wanted Bass happy. I thought it would calm him down, that it would change things. The plan was for me to leave the city with Alex and we did, for a while, after we faked my death. He thought Miles would follow if he thought I was going somewhere. Eventually, he had hoped that he would be able to get Miles back on his side but then Miles tried to kill him and you two ran. With you gone, he felt it was safe to bring Alex back into the city."

There was silence between them as Nora tried to digest the information she had been given. Finally, she said quietly, "Did Bass tell you that while he was playing Prince Charming and 'rescuing' you, he was trying to get me to leave Miles and be with him? He didn't love you Rachel. You were a pawn to him. You risked everything for nothing. The only reason he treated you so nicely was because he thought being kind to you would give more answers than torturing you. Notice how quickly he turned against you when he suspected you."

"He didn't love you either." there was an almost accusatory look in her eye, maybe even a bit of jealousy. Nora laughed a little and shook her head.

"If you think that's going to hurt me, you're dead wrong. I never had any interest in Bass and he never had any interest in me. He wanted me to leave Miles, which I wouldn't, and if what you're saying is true, it was only attempted to keep us away from each other. Unlike the rest of the women in the Republic, I'm not blinded by Bass's charm. You, on the other hand, have been that way since the day I met you and if what Miles has told me is true, and I'm sure it is, you've been that way since long before the blackout as well."

"Just—look out for Alex." she turned quickly away and began to walk back towards the group on her own. Nora lingered behind a moment, feeling a small, petty surge of triumph at the thought she had hit a nerve, then went back to her work.

* * *

Her heart ached for Charlie. It truly did. She had seen the struggle she had gone through to gain Rachel's attention. It was only after Danny died that they finally reached out to one another and now, her mother was leaving again.

Nora stood close to Miles and watched as Rachel and Aaron walked off. Charlie stood still in front of them, shoulders sagging in sadness as they disappeared from view. Finally she turned and walked by, but did not say a word. Nora wanted to go after her but knew she needed time alone.

"Now what?" she asked quietly.

"Figure out where they're taking the nuke." he responded. He turned and sat down at one of the old picnic tables facing the entrance to the old building. She slipped in next to him, thighs and arms bumping, and brushed her hand over his knee. "Gather up more of the gang too."

"Who'd you have in mind?"

"Jim mentioned he knows where Gallagher is."

"Mike?"

"You know any other Gallagher?"

"You want to go get Mike and persuade him to join us? Here, I thought you were crazy going after Jim."

"If this is going to work, I'm going to need the best."

"He's not going to help us."

"You said that about Jim."

"And it took a fight and his wife leaving him to get him to come. If that hadn't happened, he wouldn't have come."

"Well, I guess it's a good thing Mike doesn't have anyone tying him down."

"Don't be so sure."

"Who in the hell would want to settle down with that old son of a bitch?" he gave her a slightly incredulous look and she rolled her eyes in response.

"Do you think we'll see them again?" she asked, looking in the direction Rachel and Aaron had disappeared in.

"I doubt it. She made it out to be a suicide mission. Frankly, with Aaron as her only backup, I don't think they'll make it out of the Republic."

"I don't get it. She has sat here, insisting that Alex was hers and she wasn't giving him up, yet she's jumping up to run off without him."

"Probably thinks she's helping him by going to turn the power back on."

"I don't think so. Think about it. When you got her out, that whole day she did not say anything about him. She was ready and willing to leave Philly without him. Who does that?"

"She knew bringing him would unleash everything and probably thought there was no way to get him."

"Why are you making excuses for her? She's a hypocrite."

"I'm not making excuses. I'm trying to think like Rachel would think, which is basically futile."

"If I knew he was there, I would not have left that city without him. You knew the risks and went back for him. She sat quietly behind and did nothing." she leaned forward onto the table, putting her chin on her hands. "What gets me mad more than anything else is that Alex and Charlie are upset. Every thing I know about Rachel has made her seem selfish. She can say she came to Philly to protect Charlie and Danny but when she saw Bass, everything changed. He was being nice enough he would have let her go home and instead she has a letter sent to Ben saying she was dead. Or she could have sent for them and brought them into the city instead of living in a poor village. She left Charlie and Danny and now she left Alex. She's never going to change and she's never been truthful. I don't trust the sob story she fed me before. How do we even know she's going to this tower place? She could dump Aaron on the side of the road and run to wherever she's really going."

"Well, we can't all go with her and keep tabs. If she goes back to Bass and gives him help or finds some other crazy bastard to ally with, it'll just add to the list of shit we need to figure out."

"That's comforting."

"I try my best." he happened to glance towards the building and saw Alex slip between a group of rebels huddled around a fire. "What the hell is he doing? I thought he went to bed hours ago."

"I think he has trouble sleeping. He came to me a couple nights when we started for Annapolis. This has obviously been rough on him." she sighed quietly as she saw him notice them and picked up his pace. "I was thinking-"

"I was looking for you." Alex interrupted. He came around to their side of the table and nudged at Nora, insinuating for her to make room for him. She smiled slightly as she moved, allowing him enough space to sit between them.

"You're supposed to be asleep."

"I can't."

"Did you try?"

He nodded, yawning for effect, and slumped forward a little. She slipped her arm around his shoulders and he leaned into her. Miles raised his eyebrows and had to smirk at the smug expression she shot him over their son's head. He knew she enjoyed these little moments and would let her have them.

"Is Mom going to come back?" Alex asked quietly. Nora hesitated, meeting Miles's eye for assistance. He shrugged silently, unsure of the answer as well.

"She's going to try." she finally responded. "Is that what's bothering you?"

"Are you going to leave too?"

"No. We're not going anywhere."

"You're stuck with us." Miles added. Alex looked over slightly and smiled bashfully.

"You promise?"

"Yes."

Alex turned his head to Nora, seeking her confirmation as well. She smiled sweetly and nodded in response.

"I don't want to be alone." he said.

"You're not." she squeezed him gently to reassure him. "We'll be right here. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Do you think you can try and get some sleep now?"

"Will you sit with me?"

"Sure. Come on," she stood up and he scurried out to stand at her side, hand slipping into hers. He glanced at Miles, tilted his head slightly, and asked,

"Are you coming too?"

He looked up in surprise but stood as well. They made their way back into the base to the makeshift bedroom that was lined with cots. Some people were already asleep but most of the cots were empty. Charlie was lying in one to the side of Alex's and had the blanket pulled up to her chin. Her back was to them so it was impossible to know if she was asleep, though Nora suspected she wasn't. They got Alex situated under his blanket and sat on either side of him.

"You'll stay?" he asked quietly.

"Yes." she put her hand on his head and stroked his hair lightly. She glanced at Miles, then down at their son, and smiled slightly. "You two could use haircuts."

"That's such a mom thing to say." Miles muttered, rolling his eyes. He raked a hand quickly through his hair and bit back a smirk. Nora beamed happily at the statement and leaned back against the wall.

"Can you tell me a story?" Alex asked. They shared a look over his head and she jerked her chin at him, insinuating for Miles to take the lead on this. He shifted awkwardly and tried to think of something to say. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Charlie roll over and face them, eyes wide open.

"Do you want to hear about Charlie? I've got plenty of stories from when she was your age, younger actually. She was the worst."

Alex giggled at the thought. Nora leaned forward a little, flashing Charlie a smile. She was frowning at her uncle, who did not look at any of them.

"What's the worst thing she did?"

"Definitely a tie between the time she shoved cookies into the CD player in my car and the time we played hide and seek and I couldn't find her for over an hour."

"What's a CD player?"

"Instead of listening to music live, it would be recorded so you could listen to it any time and a CD player was one of the ways to make that happen."

"That's cool."

"Where was she hiding?" Nora asked.

"The hamper in the bathroom." Miles shot a look at Charlie, who smiled faintly. "I still don't know how you got in there. I almost called the cops because I thought she ran out of the house."

"I don't remember doing that."

The conversation went on until Alex fell asleep about a half hour later. He was pressed against Miles's leg, a hand resting on his knee. Ollie was squished between them. Charlie was out as well. Miles looked between them both, then focused his attention on Nora, who looked rather content with their current surroundings.

"That was..."

"Probably one of the better nights we've had in a long time."

"Yeah." he looked down at Alex, gingerly pushed away a lock of hair that had fallen into his eyes. Nora smiled slightly and pushed at his arm teasingly.

"Easy. Someone might see your heart thawing."

_I wish I didn't have one. Life would be a lot less complicated, _he thought but smirked at her and eased away from their son.

"Get some sleep. I'm going relieve whoever is on watch."

"It doesn't have to be you all the time."

"I'll see you later."


	17. Chapter 17

"So, listen, when we get there, don't say anything. Don't do anything. Just... let me do the talking. I'll handle it."

To his left, Nora let out a small chuckle. Miles turned his head to aim a glare in her direction and she rolled her eyes at him.

"Really? When has that ever worked?" she argued. Jim, leading the group a few feet ahead, laughed as well. "You can't just stab him when he doesn't agree. That would defeat the whole purpose."

"Come on Nora, give the man some credit. He has excellent people skills." Jim teased. Charlie grinned while they continued to joke about her uncle.

"Alright, alright." Miles growled in annoyance. "How much further?"

"Just around the corner here."

"Are we going to eat?" Alex asked, looking up at Nora.

"Soon. We'll be stopping in a few minutes."

They were in a small town just a few miles outside of Emporia, Virginia. It was more rundown than Culpeper was but seemed to function in the same capacity. People mulled about, greeting each other and smiling politely at the group as they walked.

"I didn't know you kept in touch with anyone Jim." Nora commented.

"I didn't really. Just... happened to stumble upon him once. We thought it would be better if we severed all ties. Who knows who is watching us."

Jim led them to an empty part of town, where only a few houses dotted the streets. The yards were overgrown and the houses needed several repairs. None of them looked inhabited.

"This is it?" Charlie looked slightly doubtful. It did look, in Miles's opinion, as though they were about to walk into a house that was the setting for a cheesy horror movie.

"Mike was never the home improvement type." he muttered. They barely reached the weed riddled curb when they heard a shotgun cock. Charlie froze, Nora pushed Alex behind her and took a step closer to Miles. Then, on second thought, stepped away from him. No need to have any stray bullets get them instead.

"I suggest you turn around." whoever-Mike, Charlie assumed-spoke but was hidden in the shadow of the porch.

"Mike, it's me." Miles stepped forward, hands up a little to show he meant no harm.

"I know. That's why I suggested it."

"I need your help."

"Maybe you should grow a pair and stop being such a pussy. Then you wouldn't need anyone's help."

"Probably true. Will you at least hear me out?"

"You've got fifteen seconds to turn around and go back to whatever hole you dragged your ass out of."

"Look,"

The shotgun was raised again and Miles held a hand out to his left, gesturing to Nora and Alex.

"I've got a kid with me."

"I see him. Gun's not pointed at him."

"Mike,"

"Go." the shotgun was aimed directly at him and he saw his finger curl around the trigger, ready to fire.

"Nora," Miles glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, "say something."

"No." she hissed, giving him an incredulous look. "Thought you could handle this."

"He always liked you better. He'll listen to you."

She glowered at him for two seconds then focused her attention on the porch.

"Hi Mike." she raised her voice in order for him to hear her and they saw the gun slightly.

"Nora? That you?"

"Yes it is."

"Are you still putting up with this son of a bitch?"

"Guilty as charged. We could use your help."

"I'm done with all that. I'm not getting sucked in again."

"We have a chance to make things right."

"Unfortunately your boy doesn't have the balls to do that."

"Things are different. All I'm asking for is ten minutes. If you're not sold by then, we'll leave and won't come back."

The shotgun was put down completely and he finally came forward. He was a few years older than Miles it seemed. He was tall and solid- all muscle that had gone soft over the years. He scratched under his bearded jaw, observing the group with a cold stare.

"I could kill you Hudson."

"Hey, I'm here against my will. Or most of it at least."

"Well, you're wasting time. Get your asses in here." he turned and entered his house, leaving the door open for them to follow.

"You heard him." Miles waved his hand towards the door, gesturing for them to go ahead. They slowly made their way into the house, which was surprisingly neat inside.

"Go in there." Mike pointed to the kitchen, which was at the end of the hall through an open doorway. "What's with the kids Matheson?"

"My niece Charlie and this is Alex."

"Alex." he repeated. His eyebrows raised slightly in surprise as he stared down at the youngest Matheson.

"Yeah. Long story."

"I bet."

They settled down at the kitchen table, Charlie took Alex into the living room, and Miles began to explain everything. When all was said and done, he stared across at Mike and waited for him to respond.

"I'm not doing it."

"Mike."

"Matheson, I'm old. I'm tired. I'm not suiting up for battle. I think you're crazy and it's not going to work." he leaned back in his seat, palms flat against the table top. "I'm not wasting whatever time I have left going on a suicide mission to kill Sebastian."

"So that's it."

"Despite my best efforts, no that's not it and I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for her." he pointed to Nora, who exchanged a glance with Miles. "You'll need supplies, a place to stay some times. As long as you stay out of my way, you could stop in on the rare occasion. I could be behind the scenes. Help you figure out some strategies. Another thing, you need to do right by that kid. You lost him once, you really want to risk it a second time?"

"We're trying to figure things out." Nora muttered.

"What, are you offering to be a foster home?" Miles snorted.

"Hell no. But Leah is in the next town over. I'm sure she'd be willing to help out. She's got a girl a year younger than him." Mike explained. "That is if you're hellbent on going through with this crazy plan instead of putting down the sword once and for all."

"It's not that simple."

"If taking out Monroe is more important than your kid, that's your decision."

"I didn't say that."

"Alright, enough." Nora squeezed Miles's knee under the table, noting how irritated he was getting. "That's up to us. But you're in?"

"I'll most likely regret it but yeah, I'm in."

* * *

"This is it?"

"He said two streets behind the general store. White house with the blue shutters."

They stood at the bottom of the porch, neither wanting to be the one who knocked on the door. She glanced up at him, then at the door. They were alone. They had left Jim, Charlie, and Alex with Mike in order to go speak with Leah.

"Are we sure about this?"

"Come on, we've been over this."

"I just-" she stopped, rubbing a hand over the side of her head.

"It's Leah. It's not like we're leaving him in an orphanage. Nora, we can't keep dragging him with us. He's going to get hurt or-or..." he didn't want to finish that sentence. "Anyway, this is our only option right now."

"No it's not."

"Stop. The other night, you said you weren't going to run, that it didn't matter because they would find you anyway."

"I told him-_we_ told him we wouldn't leave him."

"We're not leaving. We're not abandoning him. We'll be back. Who knows, she might even say no. There's only one way to find out."

She let him knock on the door and they waited for someone to answer. The faint sound of running footsteps could be heard and then the door opened. A little girl Alex's age stood in the crack of the door with a petite redheaded woman behind her.

"Hey Leah," Nora forced a smile onto her face as she stared at her old friend. Leah looked at them with a fearful expression on her face.

"Annie, go back in the kitchen. I'll be right there." she pushed her daughter behind her and shut the door a little more. "Look, I don't know why you're here but please leave."

"Your father said you were here, that you might be able to help us."

"He wouldn't do that. Just go. I don't want you here. I don't... you'll just bring more trouble."

"Leah," Miles started and she held up a hand to stop him.

"You're the last person I want to hear from Miles. I'm not inclined to help you. I've had to rebuild my life since Philadelphia. You're the reason Brad is dead. Why I don't have a husband, why my child doesn't have a father. I've worked damn hard to keep her under the radar. I don't need the Militia breaking down my door."

"They don't know where we are."

"That's what you think. Please leave."

"Leah, please, just wait." Nora stepped a little closer. Over her shoulder, she could see Annie lingering in the hallway, watching them with curious eyes. "As a mother, I know you'll understand where I'm coming from."

"Mother?" the term caught her attention and she frowned at the couple. "I don't—what?"

"Feel like hearing a story?"

"Nora, I can't do this."

"That's what your dad said and he's pretty much on our side now. What I'm going to ask is for only a few weeks. Can we come in or do you want your neighbors to hear?"

Leah hesitated in the doorway but finally stepped back to allow them inside her home.

* * *

When they returned to Mike's house later on, Miles was quick to fill Jim and Mike in on what would be happening.

"We'll leave in the morning, head back to camp to see what the others found out. Leah agreed to take Alex for a few weeks. That should give us enough time to find this nuke and get it sorted out."

"You're leaving?" Alex asked quietly from behind. They all turned to see him standing in the doorway of the kitchen, a confused and saddened expression on his face. "You said you wouldn't."

"Should put a bell on the kid." Jim muttered. Mike nodded in agreement while Miles and Nora struggled to explain themselves.

"You promised me."

"I know but it's only for a little while." she crouched down in front of him and held his hands tightly. "We'll be back in a few weeks. I promise."

"No. Everyone says that and they don't mean it. You're just like her."

"Alex,"

"You're all a bunch of liars. Everyone says they're worried about me and want me safe but they just want to leave me."

"That's not true. I don't want to leave you. I don't. Not at all. But where we're going, it's very dangerous and we can't have you with us. We don't want you to get hurt. You're going to be safe here."

"I don't want to stay here!" he yanked his hands out of her grasp and turned on his heel, running for the front door.

"Alex!"

He ignored her and the door slammed loudly after him. Mike let out a low whistle, chuckling slightly as well.

"Oh he's definitely yours Matheson. Don't get your own way, storm out of the room and brood til the end of the century."

"Shut up Gallagher." he grunted. He put a hand lightly on Nora's shoulder, "I'll go talk to him."

He walked out of the house and was relieved to see Alex on the steps, slumped over with his head resting on his hands. At least he hadn't tried to walk back to Philly again.

"Can I sit here?"

"No."

"Okay," he sat anyway and his son made a whining noise, shifting over until he had nowhere else to go. Alex wrapped his arms tightly around himself and scowled at the front yard. "I know things have sucked since we left Philadelphia. But we're trying to do the best that we can. Your mom's right. Things are bad where we have to go and we don't want you anywhere near that."

Miles fell silent, wondering when the hell he started referring to Nora as 'your mom'. He was also surprised that Alex didn't argue that fact.

"It's only for a couple weeks. You're going to like it here. A real house, a real bed, good food."

"I don't care."

"You'd rather be sleeping in the woods?"

"I don't want to be alone. You're not coming back. Nothing you said is true. You said we were only going away for a little bit and we haven't gone home in forever. I want to go home."

"I know you do. It's just—it's difficult to explain. You'll understand when you're older kid, I promise."

"Don't make me promises. I don't trust you."

"One day you're going to."

"I'll never."

* * *

They left early the next morning, before dawn, as per Leah's request so no one would see them. She wanted no one to know that she was harboring their child.

"I just want to say thank you again." Nora said as soon as she opened the door.

"I don't want to hear it." Leah muttered. She focused her eyes on Alex, who stood with Charlie. "Hi there."

"Hi." he twisted his face into her side and gripped her leg hard.

"Oh, you don't have to be shy. I don't bite." she smiled slightly. "I have a daughter, Annie, she's about your age. She's still asleep though. She'll be real excited to meet you."

Charlie glanced over to Miles, who jerked his head back towards Jim, who was standing in the street with his hands in his pockets. She nodded, understanding he wanted her to leave, and unraveled herself from her cousin's hold.

"I'll see you in a few days, okay?" she ruffled his hair gently, gave him a sweet smile, and turned away.

"Here, come on inside. We'll get you situated." Leah moved back into the house and they followed quickly after her. "This is it. Lots of toys and books. I'm always baking so there's always something good to eat in here."

"You hit the jackpot." Miles commented, tapping Alex lightly on the shoulder. He shrugged silently, keeping his eyes down. Nora looked sadly down at him and put a hand gently on the back of his head.

"Can you give us a minute?" she glanced at Leah, who nodded and wandered towards the kitchen. "Alright, listen to me,"

She turned back to Alex and knelt in front of him.

"I know this is the last thing that you want. It's the last thing that we want. I would do anything to not have to be without you but unfortunately right now this is the way it has to be. Leah is going to take very good care of you and we will be back as soon as we can."

"What if you don't?"

"That's not going to happen. You're not even going to realize we're gone. You probably won't want to leave with us when we get back because you'll be enjoying yourself too much."

"No." he shook his head and she felt her heart clench as he started to cry. "I don't want you to go. Don't leave. Please Mommy, don't leave."

"Alex," her own tears formed and she fought to hold them back.

"I can come with you. I'll help. I'll be really good and stay out of the way."

"You can't."

"Don't leave me here." he flung his arms around her neck and held on tightly. She swallowed roughly as she ran her hand over his back. Her eyes met Miles, who had crouched down next to them. His face was void of any sign of emotion but his eyes betrayed him. He looked about as distraught as she felt. A tear slipped down her cheek as she mouthed at him, _I can't do this. _He sighed deeply and put a hand on her shoulder and placed the other over the top of Alex's head.

"It's only for a little bit. I promise we'll be back." she rocked Alex gently, then pulled away slightly to look him in the eye. "It's just like when Jason and Julia would babysit you for a few days. Think of it that way."

"I don't want to be alone."

"You're not going to be alone. Leah is one of my oldest friends. I trust her to take care of you."

"I'm scared."

"Baby, there's nothing to be scared about."

"What if you don't come back? What if none of you come back?"

"We are all going to come back."

He sniffed loudly and wiped his nose on the back of his sleeve. She pushed his hair gently out of his face and gave a forced smile.

"You're going to be fine. Okay?" she kissed his forehead and held him one more time. Finally, she let him go and stood with a soft sniff. Miles stayed where he was as Alex turned slowly to face him. She turned her back to them, not wanting to watch and not wanting them to see her cry.

"I didn't mean what I said yesterday. I was mad." Alex muttered.

"I know. Don't worry about it. Can you do me a favor?"

"What?"

"That's not what I asked. I need to make sure I can trust you with this because it's important. I don't know anyone else who could do this."

"Yes." Alex nodded seriously.

"Here, take this," Miles held up his hand, which he had curled closed. His son held his hand out to take whatever it was and Nora turned slightly, frowning in confusion. She saw him open his hand and the black cord that typically hung around his neck dangled from his fingertips. The candlelight glinted off the silver medallion that hung at the bottom. "It's very important to me. I want you to keep a good eye on it so it doesn't get lost."

"Why?"

"She gave it to me." he nodded at his wife. Alex looked over for confirmation and she smiled slightly, arms wrapped tightly around herself. "It's been a good luck charm. Now I want you to have it. It'll... it'll make things a little better when you're feeling down. Okay?"

Alex nodded silently and waited as Miles slid the cord over his head.

"Looks good on you kid."

"Thanks."

"We'll see you in a few days, okay?" he put his hand gently on his head and a flicker of a smile crossed his face. "Okay?"

He got a nod in response and Miles quickly leaned in and kissed the top of his head. He moved so fast that Nora wasn't even sure she had seen the action. Alex stepped towards him and tangled his arms around Miles's waist, leaned his head on his shoulder. His arms came up around his small frame and held on for a few moments.

"Alright. The faster we leave, the faster we'll be back. Don't give Leah any problems. She's a sweet lady."

"Okay."

"Good." Miles straightened up and cleared his throat. "Let's go."

Nora gazed at them, then took her son in her arms again, unable to leave without holding him one last time.

"I love you Alex." she murmured, kissing his cheek softly. She felt him tighten his arms around her, then they let go.

After that, they left the house as quickly as they could, and rejoined Charlie and Jim outside. A look from Miles told them to start walking and they took the lead, allowing the couple to hang back.

"We're doing the right thing, right?"

"Absolutely. He's going to be fine." he squeezed her hand reassuringly and she looked up at him tearfully.

"Maybe we could run. Start over somewhere. Maybe it would work."

"You know it's not going to. Don't try to rationalize this. You'll just drive yourself crazy."

"He... he called me Mommy. He begged me."

"I know."

She let out a quiet sob and glanced over her shoulder, saw Alex staring at them from the window.

"Don't." Miles tugged her hand, forcing her to turn back around. "I know, alright, I know. But right now, we need to focus on finding that nuke and letting our emotions get the best of us is going to only get us killed. Everything is going to be fine."


	18. Chapter 18

**June 2013- Nine months after the blackout**

"Maybe this isn't such a good idea."

"You're the one who asked me to teach you how to fight. Now you want to back down?"

"No."

"Alright then. Tuck your elbows in. You look like you're ready to fly away." Miles reached forward and pushed Nora's arms closer to her sides. "And bring your fists up. Protect your face."

She nodded absently, trying desperately to focus on what he was saying and not the sensations she felt each time he positioned her. He paused, took a step back, and stared at her. She stared back, waiting for his next order.

"Why are you standing like that?"

"This is how you molded me."

"You're tense. Loosen up." he stepped up to her again and put his hands on her shoulders, shaking her a little. "There. Spread your feet a little more. Balance out your weight. Good. Now hit me."

"No!" her voice squeaked slightly and she dropped her hands.

"You really think you're going to do any significant damage?" he looked amused at the thought but was pleased as he saw her face turn into an expression of annoyance. He knew exactly how to push her. Any hint that she might not be able to do something or wouldn't do it well set her off. "I mean, let's be honest. You're a beauty queen and I'm a marine. The odds are slightly in my favor."

"I killed someone."

"With a gun. Come talk to me when you scratch someone's eyes out or snap their neck. Until then, I'm not impressed."

Her eyes flashed dangerously and she felt her irritation rise at his smirk. She lunged forward, swinging wildly but he only laughed and side stepped her.

"You're a jackass." she huffed angrily.

"You might want to aim. It helps."

She spun on her heel and darted towards him again. He caught her easily by the wrists and she struggled, trying to break his grip.

"It's better to catch them off guard. Don't make it obvious."

"Let go."

"Make me."

The only thing she could think of was to bring her knee up, catching him in the groin. He immediately released her, stumbling back, and muttering a low 'fuck.' She brought a hand up to her mouth, horrified.

"I'm so sorry. Miles,"

"No," he leaned over at the waist, hands on his knees, and let out a breathless laugh. "That...was...good. You're not... gonna say sorry if... if someone's attacking you."

"I didn't mean to."

"And... don't just stand there. Either hit them while they're down or run. Otherwise," he suddenly reached forward, grabbing her leg, and tugging her down. She landed on her back with a shriek and he was over her, one hand holding her wrists above her head, "they'll retaliate."

"Right. Got it." she muttered. Her eyes roamed from his down to his mouth and she squirmed underneath him. He inhaled a sharp breath and lowered his head more. "So ah, what... what would I do here?"

"Hmm?" he brought his free hand up to her face, trailed his thumb over her lower lip gently. All thoughts of training had gone out the window, which was a damn shame because he really tried hard not to let this happen. _But what the hell, right? _he thought, lifting his eyes to meet hers, silently seeking permission. She nodded slightly and he closed the gap between them, kissing her firmly. It was becoming more and more clear to him that trying to avoid his feelings for Nora was a losing battle. She made some sort of moan, mouth opening under his. He took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. She reciprocated eagerly, sending a surge of heat through him.

The gray clouds that had been hovering overhead all day finally broke open and the rain descended in a heavy downpour. He sat up quickly and stood, tugging her up with him. He knew they were only about a ten minute walk from the campground they had settled in for the day.

She followed him, keeping her hand in his as they ran towards the clubhouse that housed old arcade games and the showers. As soon as the door slammed shut behind them, he had her against the wall and his mouth on her neck. She gripped his shoulders tightly, then slowly slid her hands down his back, nails digging into the fabric of his t-shirt. He reached a hand up and tugged the tie out of her hair, then buried his hand in the thick strands. They were both drenched and he took a step back, nearly groaning at how her black tank top now clung to her skin. She gazed at him with dark eyes, lips parted slightly, and didn't fight him when he yanked the shirt up over her head. It fell somewhere behind them as he leaned forward, dropping kisses along the newly exposed skin. She let her head fall back against the wall, eyes rolling upward, as his hand brushed against her bra.

He sunk down to his knees, still trailing kisses down her torso. Her hand tightened on his hair as she moaned quietly. The sound of the zipper of her jeans sliding down jerked her out of her daze though.

"Wait-" her voice came out as a light whisper and it was clear he didn't hear her as the material slipped slightly down her hips. She cleared her throat and tried again, more forceful this time. "Miles, wait."

His head snapped up immediately and he blinked at her, slightly confused. Then he saw the look on her face, full of apprehension and a bit of fear, and he scrambled to his feet.

"Shit, Nora, I'm sorry." he muttered, raking a hand through his hair. He stared at her for a second, then reached down to grab her shirt off the floor. He flung it towards her and she caught it with shaking hands.

"I-I'm sorry," she tugged her shirt over her head and pressed back against the wall. He turned from her, raking both hands through his hair, and paced in a small circle between the pool table and Pac Man.

"Don't. You're fine. I should know better."

"I didn't mean to-"

"Nora."

"It's not that I don't want to. I do. I just, I'm not, I-"

"_Nora, stop_."

Her mouth clamped shut as his voice came out more forceful than he intended. He sighed softly and turned to face her.

"Let's just forget about this, okay?"

"Miles-"

"It's fine. It's me. I should have realized that- look, let it go. It's not a big deal."

"I feel awful. I kind of... led you on there. I just, I've never, and..." she trailed off awkwardly, blushing a deep shade of red, and looked away from him. "Maybe, maybe later..."

"Later when? If all goes well, you'll be with your dad in two days tops. This will be in the distant past so no worries. Don't worry, you didn't hurt my feelings." he started towards the door and she slumped further against the wall, chewing on her lip. "You coming?"

"I'll be there in a few."

His response was to walk out, the screen door slamming behind him, and she let her head fall against the wall a couple times in frustration. Outside, the rain had stopped, and he leaned against the side of the building. Two days. All he had to do was get through two days. Then it would be like she hadn't existed. It would just be him and Bass and Jeremy. He nearly groaned out loud at the thought of walking the rest of the way to Chicago with just the two of them. Funny, when he started out, he had been content with Bass at his side. Now, the thought of Nora not being with them drove him crazy.

* * *

"Is this it?"

"According to the address I found."

"Be grateful it's not crawling with looters and cannibals."

They all turned to look at Jeremy, who shrugged. Miles shook his head and faced front once more. They were standing on a suburban street in a small neighborhood with cookie-cutter houses. Yards were overgrown, cars and SUVs sat rusting in driveways, and some neighbors were visible down the street with their kids playing on their porch.

"I guess I'll see if anyone's home." Nora flexed her fingers, then walked up the sidewalk to house. She hesitated as she stared at the dirtied windows and finally brought her hand up to pull on the knocker. They waited and waited and after a few more knocks, the rest of them joined her.

"I don't think anyone is here." Bass muttered, peering through the window next to the door. "Looks untouched in there."

"They have to be. This is her house. It's 429 right?" she stepped back to look at the brass numbers nailed into the siding. She banged her fist against the door, pounding several times. Miles shifted his gaze to the street, hoping they weren't attracted any unwanted attention. He immediately noticed an older woman sitting on her porch directly across the street and realized she was watching them.

"Hey," he took Nora's wrist in his hand gently, stopping her from knocking again, "it doesn't matter how long you do that. No one's going to answer."

"No. No, I did not walk all this way just to find an empty house." her voice was thick with tears and frustration. "They have to be here."

"I know but they're not."

"Are you looking for Liv and Patrick?"

They all turned at the voice and saw the neighbor leaning off her porch.

"Yes." Nora quickly pushed through them and raced across the street to speak to the woman. The others watched and waited as they spoke. After a few minutes, the woman retreated into her house but Nora remained on the porch. The woman returned shortly after and handed something to her, then went back inside.

"What was that about?" Miles asked as she came back up the sidewalk. She held up a piece of paper and a key.

"She said he was here. They left about two months ago. There's a house on Lake Michigan that she goes to every summer and they went there. This is the address. This is a key for here."

"Well, at least we've got a place to stay for the night." Jeremy commented.

* * *

"What are you doing out here?" he poked his head out the sliding door to see her sitting on the porch swing. She jerked her head up and smiled widely at him.

"Hidin'. What are you doin'?"

"Looking for you."

"Mm, you found me."

"I can see that."

"Come here. Come sit with me." she slid over, taking a long drink from the bottle she had between her thighs, and patted the chair roughly. He obliged her request and leaned into the worn cushion, setting the swing into a lazy motion.

"What are you drinking?"

She held up the bottle as an explanation and he held back a smirk as he saw the Smirnoff label.

"Here, have some." she pushed it towards him and he shook his head. "No, no, it's real good. Try some."

"No thanks."

She looked offended that he would refuse her gift and she leaned in to him, mouth close enough that he could smell the vodka on her breath.

"Y'know," she drawled slowly, tracing an index finger over his lips, "I've had my tongue in there. Same thing as sharing a bottle if you're scared of gettin' my cooties."

"Is that so?"

"Mhmm. Here, I'll show you." she kissed him before he could protest and curled her free hand around the back of his neck, holding him to her. He humored her for a few seconds, then pulled himself away, "See?"

"I see."

"So try some."

"I think I got buzzed just from the kiss so I'll pass."

She blinked a few times, then giggled as she tapped him gently on the nose and said, "You're funny. Very funny. And pretty. You're so pretty Miles."

"Yeah?" it was hard not to laugh but somehow he was managing.

"Mhmm." she nodded, giving him another kiss. She peered at him intently for a second, then nodded again. "Yep, pretty and a good kisser too."

"Wow. I didn't even have to fish for compliments tonight." he commented, referring to their inside joke.

"You never have to fish. I'll always have one for you. I think the world of you." she leaned heavily on his shoulder, nodding repeatedly. "Yeah."

"Was that a full bottle?"

"Mm. So was its friend." she waved her hand vaguely to the porch and he glanced down to see a mini but empty Smirnoff bottle.

"Okay. I think you're done." he pried her fingers from the neck of the bottle and set it on the side of the swing as she protested.

"That's mine."

"Technically its not."

"Well, finders' keepers." she stretched across his lap, trying to reach for the drink but he nudged it closer to the door.

"I'd stop if I were you because I'm not letting you finish that. Waste of energy." he told her. She looked peeved for a total of two seconds, then smiled brightly at him. "What?"

"You're sweet. Always worryin' about me." she moved in towards him, their lips brushing together faintly. "So nice. No one else does. You love me."

"Ah, I like you."

"Same thing." she wrapped her arms around his neck and swung a leg over him so she was sitting on his lap. "Kiss me."

"I just did."

"No, kiss me."

"No."

"Just a peck. Don't be so mean."

"Happy?" he asked after he gave her a quick kiss.

"Mm, little more." she leaned in. Another kiss. "Little more..."

As he kissed her this time, she reached for his hand and pulled it up towards her chest but he quickly yanked it back.

"I don't think that's a good idea. You're pretty drunk."

"I am not drunk." she looked horrified at the mere thought. "I am totally fine."

"No you're not."

"I am too. I'll prove it. I could walk my ABCs and sing a straight line." she sounded indignant and this time he chuckled.

"I bet you could."

She stared at him with wide eyes and he could tell she was thinking about what she said. She burst out laughing as it hit her and she leaned back, nearly falling off him. He quickly threw an arm around her to stop her and she let out an exaggerated sigh as she stopped laughing.

"You know what I mean."

"I do. I don't think you know what you mean."

"No, I do."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Come on, let's go inside."

"I knew you wanted me."

"No, I want to get you into bed."

"Good idea."

"Nora,"

"Miles,"

"Stand up."

"Yes sir." she stumbled to her feet and wobbled.

"You okay?" he held her arm gently to steady her.

"Mhmm." she took a hesitant step towards the door, then another and began walking. He stayed behind her just in case and sure enough, she shrieked as her toe caught the metal track the door was on and almost fell.

He rolled his eyes as he slipped an arm around her back and legs and hoisted her into a bridal hold. She smiled sweetly as she coiled her arms around his neck and nuzzled her face into his shoulder.

"You're my hero."

"Don't mention it."

He climbed the stairs to the second floor and entered the bedroom she had claimed earlier. He lowered her onto the mattress and started to move away but she kept her arms around him, forcing him to stay where he was.

"Stay here with me."

"Fine."

"Thanks."

"Someone needs to keep an eye on you."

"I love you."

"Okay."

"I do."

"Sure."

"I'm serious."

"Babe, I can't take anything you're saying seriously right now." _Babe? _**Babe? **_Where the hell did that come from? _

"No, it's true." she pulled him a little harder, pressing their foreheads together. "I don't want to leave you. I'm dreading seeing him again."

She giggled a little, "I don't even know why I'm wasting my time. He's like the worst dad ever. I don't even care. But I care about you and what's gonna happen."

"Just go to sleep."

"You'll stay."

"Yes but you need to let me go so I can lay down."

She released him from her grip and he maneuvered around her to lay down. She rolled and laid against him with her arm over his chest and her head burrowed in his shoulder. He slipped his arm around her and tilted his head down to kiss her forehead gently. She sighed quietly and pressed further against him, slipping a leg between his.

"You're the best." she mumbled. He chuckled, rubbing his free hand over his eyes. He really hoped she fell asleep soon.

* * *

"Hey sleepyhead." he ducked into the room after he saw her sitting up on the bed. She made a face and leaned her head against her hand. "You feeling okay?"

"If awful is synonymous for okay, then sure."

"Yeah, kind of figured that."

"I don't usually do this. I can count on my hand the number of times I've been drunk." she sighed deeply, then tilted her head up to look at him. "Did I say or do anything? I can barely remember what happened."

He stared at her, contemplating his options, and finally shook his head.

"No. No you were fine. I found you on the porch and carried you up here. You gonna be okay to get going? I figured you'd want to be getting to your dad ASAP."

"Just give me an hour."

"Take your time."


	19. Chapter 19

**June 2013- Nine months after the Blackout**

"What are you doing out here? You're not drunk again are you?"

She smiled over her shoulder at him and shook her head, "Are you going to hold that over my head forever?"

"Uh, yeah, probably." he slipped out the door onto the balcony and shut it quietly behind him. "What are you doing?"

"Needed some fresh air." she leaned her arms on the iron railing and tilted her head up to look at the night sky. "It's crazy how clearly you can see everything now that there's no lights blocking it out. You don't realize how big it is."

"Kind of makes you feel insignificant in the grand scheme of things." he glanced up as well, eyes finding various constellations he barely knew the names of.

"Guess that's one way of looking at it."

He shrugged and mimicked her position. A warm breeze blew by, ruffling her loose curls. She sighed deeply as she glanced over at him. He was leaning over the railing, peering down to the ground below. They had found a couple running a bed and breakfast in an old mansion about thirty miles outside of Indianapolis. Their two bedrooms were connected by a third floor balcony. He wasn't sure if anyone else was staying in the place but the owners were nice enough and had a young daughter, who Mia had instantly made friends with.

"You doing okay?" he asked, not bothering to meet her eye. She stared straight ahead, contemplating the question. "I know that was a low blow yesterday when they weren't there."

"Personally, I don't care." she said softly. He refrained from commenting that if she didn't care, she wouldn't have raided the liquor cabinet. "If it was just me, I'd figure something out but with Mia, it's different. I can't haul her around the country to find a safe, stable environment and she keeps asking where he is. I don't know what to tell her. I don't know whether it's worth walking 150 more miles to some place where he may not be."

"At least you'll know."

"That's not good enough." she turned her head to look at him. "What if we get there and he's not there? What then?"

He stared back at her, then said, "Don't worry. I'll make sure you're settled down somewhere before I take off."

It was meant as a joke. What he wanted to say was _you can stay with me. I don't know if that means anything but you'd have me. _He needed to be realistic though. What did he have to offer her?

She straightened up, eyes still on his, as if she was assessing the situation. She smiled, somewhat sadly, as though she wanted a different response, and said, "Well, at least there's that. I'm going to try and get some sleep. Hopefully Mia is passed out and unable to talk."

"Good luck with that."

"Good night." she smiled as she shut the door to her room, leaving him alone on the balcony. He turned and leaned his elbows on the railing, pressed his face into his hands. On the other side of the door, she pressed her back against wall and bit her lip hard to hold back the cry that was threatening to break free. She swiped quickly at the tear that dripped down her cheek and crossed the room to climb into bed.

* * *

"Jesus." Bass let out a low whistle as they approached the large house. The lawn was overgrown but the house was still in good shape. Nora felt her stomach churn as they made their way up the walkway. She glanced to her left, making sure Miles was still next to her. He brushed his fingers against hers, not a complete hold but enough to reassure her. This was what they had been working towards since March. "So who's going to knock on the door?"

"I will." Mia rushed forward, unable to contain her excitement at the idea that her father might be inside.

"You okay?" Miles looked down at Nora, who nodded slowly.

"I'm scared." she whispered, letting only him hear. After the disappointment in Indianapolis, her morale had sufficiently lowered. What was she going to do if he wasn't in that house? What was she going to do if he was? She wasn't particularly excited to see him. This time, he did hold her hand, and gave her a comforting squeeze. "Don't leave yet."

"I won't." he smiled slightly and she wanted nothing more at that moment than to grab him and run in the opposite direction.

Mia knocked on the door several times, then another couple, and was about to again when the door opened. A lithe blonde in paint splattered cutoffs stood in the doorway. She stared down at Mia in confusion, then at the four adults behind her.

"Can I help you with something?"

There went her stomach again. Nora untangled her fingers from Miles's and stepped forward. She knew this was Liv. She was even prettier and younger than in her picture.

"Are you Liv Hartley?" she played dumb, not wanting to seem like a creeper.

"Yes. What's this about?"

"Is, is Patrick Clayton with you?"

"Pat? Yeah," she frowned a little, eyes flicking from Mia to Nora. "Why?"

"We're his daughters."

"His what?"

"Liv? Who's there?" there were footsteps and a man appeared on the porch next to the blonde. He was tall, probably 6'3", with curly dark hair that was starting to gray at the temples and brown eyes that Miles instantly recognized as Nora's. He looked extremely surprised to see Mia and Nora standing before him.

"Dad!" Mia rushed forward and flung her arms around his waist, clinging tightly to him. He immediately wrapped his arms around her but continued to stare at Nora with surprise. She kept her distance and dug her hands into her pockets.

"What-how did you two get here?"

"Same way you did."

"Pat, she said they're your daughters." Liv tugged on the sleeve of his t-shirt. "You have daughters?"

"Awkward." Bass muttered to Miles. Jeremy chortled behind his hand, covering it cleverly as a cough.

"I-I told you that. This is Mia and Nora."

"No, no, I would definitely remember that you have two kids."

Patrick's head whipped around to the woman next to him and he muttered something to her that the others couldn't hear. Liv pursed her lips then turned to them with a smile.

"Well it's nice to meet you. Why don't you and your... friends come inside and relax for a little bit?" she walked back into the house, intending for them all to follow.

"Go on," Patrick tapped Mia lightly on the back. "Liv will get you something to eat."

The youngest Clayton went inside after glancing at Nora for her approval. The others stayed where they were.

"This is quite a surprise."

"Yeah, tell me about it." Nora had a flat tone in her voice and Miles could tell how tense she was from looking at her posture. "What's going on?"

"We'll talk later. Come inside."

She slowly stepped onto the porch, looking back at the men in a silent command to follow. She started to move past her father, who caught her arm gently in his hand.

"Where's your mother?"

"Dead."

His face blanched and filled with remorse.

"I'm sorry honey."

"No you're not. And don't call me that." she yanked out of his grasp and continued into the house, not bothering to introduce Miles, Bass, and Jeremy.

"Should we..." Bass gestured to the house, then looked at Miles, who shrugged and continued towards the steps. The whole situation was obviously awkward. It didn't matter if they were involved in it as well. Might as well get a few hours of rest and food out of the deal.

"Ah, and, who are you?" Patrick asked.

"The guys who've been keeping your kids alive." Miles grunted. He sized the other man up with a tight glare and passed by without another word. He had known him a total of three minutes and he already disliked him. Jeremy scrambled past, keeping up with Miles's long stride.

"Are you going to mention that you're also the guy who is sleeping with his daughter?" he whispered low enough that only the marine heard. He wheezed painfully as Miles's elbow connected with his ribs.

"Sorry. They lack manners. Bass Monroe." he extended his hand to Patrick, who smiled slightly.

"Patrick Clayton. Ah, thank you, for your help, I guess."

"No problem. You've got two great kids."

They entered the house with Patrick shutting the door behind him and led Bass down the hallway to a large kitchen. Mia was already situated at the table with crackers and peanut butter. Nora stood rigidly against the refrigerator, arms crossed tightly over her chest, and Miles stood at her side, keeping a safe distance between them. Jeremy was popping open a beer. Liv stood at the counter with a forced smile.

"Well, this is quite the surprise." she said, eying the newcomers in her kitchen. "Maybe we could introduce ourselves. I'm Olivia Hartley but everyone calls me Liv. I'm Pat's fiancee."

"Dad, you're getting married?" Mia asked, voice muffled through the peanut butter. Patrick only smiled. Nora looked about ready to kill. There was a loaded silence as no one made the next move.

"This is Nora and Mia," he gestured to each of his daughters in turn, then looked at his oldest. She stared at him for a moment, then pointed quickly at her friends.

"Jeremy Baker, Sebastian Monroe, and Miles Matheson."

"Nice to meet you." Liv tapped her fingers against the counter and glanced amongst them. "So... how long did you plan on staying?"

"Oh, we'll be out of your hair in a few hours." Miles said. "Don't worry."

"No, you helped the girls get here. You can stay the night." Patrick offered.

"How generous." Nora muttered. "Excuse me,"

She moved around Miles, brushing her arm against his chest, and went back into the hallway. At first, no one followed after her but Patrick sighed like he carried some great burden and turned to follow. He found her on the back porch, staring out at Lake Michigan in the distance.

"How did you find me?" he asked quietly, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"I'm wishing I hadn't."

"Nora, come on. Cut me some slack."

"Cut you some slack?" she swerved towards him, disgust and hurt etched into her face. "Dad, it is the fucking apocalypse out there and you walked to Indiana to be with some bitch that you have a secret life with. Did it ever occur to you to try to get to San Antonio and help us? Make sure we were okay and alive?"

"It's hard to explain."

"No it's not. I know you'd be happier if we didn't exist but we do. Can you at least pretend to give a shit?"

"You know that's not true. I love you and your sister."

"Clearly not enough. I just came here to bring Mia to you. Is that okay? Is she welcome here?"

"Of course she's welcome. You both are. Nora, calm down."

"I won't calm down! I want to to know why your first thought was to come to this woman instead of us. I want to know why it's okay that I walked over 1,000 miles to get to you and deal with stab wounds and broken bones and looters and everything else possible but you couldn't walk across a state to check on us."

"I don't have a good reason."

"Did you even think about us?"

"Yes. I was worried about you two. Are you guys okay?"

"Yeah, thank God and no thanks to you." she stormed down the deck to the sandy dunes at the end of the property.

"Nora!"

* * *

"Hey."

"What do you want?"

"Ouch." Miles lowered himself down onto the sand and rested his elbows on his knees. "Liv made an unappetizing looking dinner and one of us had to come get you. It's been almost three hours."

"And you volunteered."

"Actually, we drew straws. I lost."

"Why do you have to do that?" she snapped, looking at him with aggravation. "Why do you have to be such a dick?"

He said nothing at first as he tried to think of something other than _of course I volunteered. I was... worried. _Because if he said that, it would show he cared and he didn't want that. There had been enough of those moments and he didn't want her getting thoughts into her head. Their little fling was supposed to be no strings attached, no emotions, nothing. He was only supposed to get her to her father and that was it. They weren't supposed to- no, no, they weren't in love. It wasn't love but it wasn't the lust it had started out as either.

He realized she must have said something else because she was staring at him like he was supposed to respond. His tongue darted out over his lips and he threaded a hand through his hair, clenching the strands tightly.

"I don't know what to tell you." he shrugged and stood up. "Come on, come inside."

"You're joking right?" she scrambled to her feet as well, pulling herself up to her full height, and glowered at him. "You don't know what to tell me? How about you ask how I feel for a change! Or try comforting me or, or, I don't know!"

"Look, you want some of that, you can go cry to Bass. He's the touchy feely one."

"You're supposed to be—"

"Supposed to be what?"

"Nothing. Forget it."

"No. What? What were you going to say?"

"I've got enough going on right now. I am so... so _angry_! Between having to come all this way looking for him, to find out he has someone, to the fact he chose her over his own flesh and blood. Who does that? Who abandons their children? And then there's you!"

"What the hell do I have to do with any of it?"

She blinked tearfully at him a few times, caught off guard by the question. She wanted to say _you're leaving and I'm never going to see you again and I'm terrified of what is going to happen and I feel like everything is falling to pieces around me. _

Instead she said, "You don't care. I'm obviously having problems and you just waltz up and twist the knife even further."

"Oh. So because I didn't come and coddle you, you got mad."

"I'm not mad. I'm disappointed."

"Why? Nora, everything I've done has been exactly what I told you to expect. I'm not Prince Charming or some hero. We had an agreement. It's not my fault you're too emotional." _Stop talking. Stop talking right now. _But he couldn't. Maybe if he pushed her away, it wouldn't hurt as bad tomorrow.

"You're right. I'm sorry that I can't turn off my emotions like you can. I'm sorry for being a human being."

* * *

As much as she despised being in the house, she had to admit the bed was wonderful. It was a queen sized, soft mattress and the pillows were to die for. She lay awake, sunken in as far as possible, and listened to the muffled voices in the hallway. After their argument on the beach, she had stormed back to the house and kept to herself most of the night. He had trailed in slowly after her and retreated to a corner of the living room, glaring whenever anyone other than Bass tried to approach him. She went to bed early but struggled to fall asleep.

A quiet knock on the door caught her attention and she rolled onto her side, pulling the blanket up close to her head. There was a moment of silence, then the door creaked open. She had left it unlocked in case Mia needed her at some point during the night. Now she was wishing she hadn't. She could feel Miles staring at her but she wouldn't turn around. He didn't say anything, believing she was asleep, and didn't attempt to try and wake her up. The door shut quietly and she knew she was alone. She should have gone to him, shouldn't have let him leave with them at odds with each other.

His voice faded along with Bass's and she waited a few minutes more, then quietly stood up. She crossed to the window and pulled the curtains back slightly. Her room faced the front of the property and she hoped to catch a glimpse of them as they left. Sure enough, she could see the three of them as they started down the long driveway. She watched until they got to the end and made a right out into the street. Then, she turned back to the bed and thought over everything.

Ten minutes later, she was down in the kitchen dressed for the day with her backpack in her hand. Her father looked up at her entrance and frowned at the sight of her.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm not staying here. I'm going with them."

"What?"

"I'm going with them."

"You can't-"

"You don't get a say in this." she cut him off and looked around. "Is Mia up yet? I don't have a lot of time."

* * *

"Are you going to be moody the whole way to Chicago?" Jeremy asked. Miles rolled his head to the left and pinned the other man with a glare. "Hey, I'm just asking."

"I still don't know why you're here."

"I'm charming and loveable."

"I guess someone will have to fill Nora's role." Bass commented quietly. He smirked as Miles turned his glare on him. "Oh come on, it's the truth."

"Both of you can shut up."

They walked for about another ten minutes and Miles reverted back to his thoughts, still kicking himself for the way he treated Nora the previous night. There had been no reason for it other than he was incapable of expressing himself in any way possible. What would have been the worst case scenario? That she got that giddy look in her eyes and wanted to be all lovey-dovey?

"Miles!" and now he was hallucinating. Except Jeremy and Bass both stopped to turn around and he glanced over his shoulder to see her running towards them. He turned completely and she crashed against him, arms wrapping around his neck.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I couldn't let you leave. Not like this. And I don't, I don't want you to go but I know you have to so I'm coming with you."

"No you're not." he tried to pull her off but she held on tighter. "Nora,"

"I don't believe anything you said last night because if that was true, you wouldn't have come in this morning to say good bye or apologize or stare at me, or whatever the hell it was you were doing. You wouldn't have cared about how I felt. You would have just left. You can argue otherwise but you're wrong. If you didn't care, you wouldn't have come looking for me those few nights, you wouldn't have stayed with me when I was drunk off my ass, or-or, I don't know but there have been plenty of times where you've shown you're capable of caring and maybe a little more. I don't know why you try to hide that part of you. I know we said we wouldn't let it get this far but it has and I can't walk away from that."

"Do you understand what you're saying? You're giving up everything to come tag along with us."

"There's nothing here."

"What about Mia?"

"I explained everything to her. She's not happy but she'll get used to it. It's not like I won't ever see her again. She's better off with my dad. I can't stay there. I don't want to stay there. I want- I want to be with you. I don't know what's going to happen a month from now or a year or two years but I promise if you give me a chance I will do my best to make this work. If you don't, fine, but I want you to look me straight in the eye and say so. But I couldn't let you leave without knowing how I felt."

He stared down at her hopeful gaze and felt her hands clenching behind his neck, knuckles digging into the area.

"I don't know what's waiting for us. Cannibals, looters, gangs, more injuries."

"I don't care."

"You'd be safer here."

"For how long?"

"This is what you want? Running around the country like nomads?"

"What do _you _want?" she pressed and he glanced away, then back. After what he had said last night and how awful he had felt afterwords, he knew he owed it to her to be honest. Another moment passed and he forced away the anxiety he felt in order to speak.

"I want you. I didn't want to leave you there and I thought if I kept my distance, it would make things easier but I came off like an asshole and it just made things worse. But yes, I want you."

She stared at him for a few seconds, almost in surprise, as if she hadn't expected him to be so frank with her even if she had hoped for it. Then she let out a little, elated laugh and tugged him into a kiss. His arms came around her waist, holding her as close as possible, and when they broke away, leaned his forehead against hers.

"We're going to have to work on the whole communication thing." she murmured, making him chuckle quietly. He pulled back and kissed her forehead gently. She put her head on his chest and hugged him tightly, feeling more relieved then she had in quite some time.

"Uh, not that I want to break up this sweet moment but are we going to actually start walking or are you two going to stand there and cuddle all day?" Bass asked. Miles rolled his eyes and Nora tipped her head up to look at him with a small grin.

"If we start running now, we may lose them."

"Highly doubt it. They'll just keep coming back."

They exchanged one more quick kiss, then started to walk back to Bass and Jeremy.


	20. Chapter 20

For a moment, the only thing the three of them could do was stand and stare. They were to depart from Atlanta in the morning. However, they were President Foster's guests for the night and had been given a suite within the presidential compound.

Nora was, quite frankly, relieved. She was used to slumming it in the woods and in tents but she missed the comforts of her home in Philadelphia. She glanced up at Miles and saw he looked non-impressed. Charlie, on the other hand, gaped at the sight of the luxurious room. Candles were lit everywhere, displaying the open area. A sitting area had been created with a couch and a love seat with a coffee table between them. A long table sat in the center of the room, piled with food. On either side of the room was a door, most likely leading into a bedroom. The walls were lined with shelves and books.

"President Foster once again extends her gratitude. She hopes you will be comfortable here this evening and if you should need anything, all you need to do is ask. There is a bell in each bedroom, which connects to the kitchens. Someone will come to attend to you." the aide who had escorted them explained.

It was clear neither Miles nor Charlie were going to say anything so Nora turned to meet the young woman's eye and smiled politely.

"Thank you."

"Have a good evening." she closed the set of double doors as she left, leaving the family alone.

"This was nice of her." Nora commented quietly. Miles met her eye with a slight roll of his own and walked towards the table. He examined the food, then plucked an apple from the fruit bowl, and turned to enter the bedroom on the left. The door shut with a bang behind him and she nodded to herself. "Okay, great talk. Do-"

She started to turn to Charlie only to see the door on the right shut as well. They both irritated the hell out of her. There were days when she wondered if Charlie was spending too much time with Miles.

After perusing the food selection, she turned empty handed towards the bedroom Miles had claimed and opened the door quietly. He sat on the edge of the bed with his back towards her and stared out the large windows. Her eyes wandered around the room and she held back a pleased sigh as she saw the large tub in the corner with two steaming buckets of water at its side. She quickly locked the door, though she highly doubted their niece would be interrupting them at all. She wasn't sure what had happened but there was a noticeable tension between Charlie and Miles and she knew they would make every attempt at avoiding each other.

"This beats sleeping in the woods." she commented quietly. She scanned the soaps and bottles lined up on the small table and this time, she did sigh. "Yeah, definitely beats the woods."

"You're such a damn girl." he muttered. He was determined not to look at her but glanced out the corner of his eye to watch her pour the water into the bath.

"I'll pick something neutral. Wouldn't want you smelling like roses or something else feminine."

"Don't bother."

"Well, I'm going to because you need to relax and this is the best way." she stepped back from the tub and undid the buttons on the shirt, then let it slip down her arms and pool at her feet. The boots and pants quickly followed and she sunk into the warm water with a quiet moan. She sat there, savoring the moment, then turned her head to look at him. He was hunched over at the waist, elbows on his thighs and rubbed his hands over his face. "Come here,"

"No."

"Not even five minutes?"

He glanced up to look at her. She tipped her head back, neck leaning on the rim of the bath, and gave him a comforting smile. He sighed quietly, then stood up, and slowly undressed. She scooted forward, giving him enough room to slip in behind her, and waited for him to situate himself before leaning back against his chest.

"I'm sorry about Alec." she murmured. He said nothing but his arms slipped around her beneath the water and she intertwined their fingers, squeezing gently. "You didn't have any other choice."

"Don't. Just, don't try justifying this. Okay?"

"Fine. Should we sit in silence then?"

"That'd be nice."

"Okay." she let her head fall to his shoulder and stared at the painting hanging on the wall. They were quiet for a few minutes and it was finally he who broke the silence.

"Foster wants me to use some of the Georgians to fight Bass." he said quietly. "Offered up manpower and weapons."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"What did you say?" she turned around, not caring that water was sloshing over the sides, and sat so they were chest to chest.

"A reluctant yes. We can't fight him on our own. We don't have enough weapons or people. If we make allies with her now, it might help in the long run."

"So that's what all this is for."

"I would imagine you diffusing a nuclear weapon and saving the lives of her people also had something to do with it."

Her eyes wandered over him and he stared back at her, a variety of emotions crossing over his face. His hair was hanging in his eyes and she reached over to push it away. Water dripped down her fingertips, dampened his hair, but neither of them seemed to care.

"Charlie wants to know what I did to Rachel." he said quietly.

"What?"

"Came out and asked me before Foster called me in to talk about the army."

"What did you tell her?" she asked softly, almost hesitantly after a moment.

"That I hurt people."

"Miles-"

"I do. It doesn't matter what Rachel did once we got to Philly. When she came to me, I-" he lifted a hand to rub his eyes. "And I know Charlie. She's not going to let it go. She's going to keep pushing."

"She deserves the truth."

"And what do I say? I wanted your dad to come with me but your mother turned herself in instead and I tortured her? She will never talk to me again."

"She's not going to talk to you if you avoid her. I'm not- I regret a lot, _most_, of what we did. I get sick thinking about some of the things but the fact remains Rachel wasn't an innocent party in all this. You asked nicely for Ben. She twisted it so she could come and it was to get to Bass. She didn't care about the power or Charlie and Danny. She wanted what she wanted and Bass gave that to her until recently."

"That doesn't change things."

"But it goes to show it was never your intention."

"Doesn't matter what my intention was. It's what I did."

"And, you know," she shrugged halfheartedly, "it kind of wrecks Rachel's image."

"So I should use her as a scapegoat."

"I don't know what's worse. Abandoning your kids or torturing someone. I guess it depends on how you fit in to the picture. Charlie won't be happy with what you did but she may be angrier knowing Rachel voluntarily left."

He said nothing and sunk a little further into the water, dipped his head back against the edge of the tub with a quiet sigh.

"How the hell did everything get so screwed up? It wasn't supposed to be like this." he muttered. She leaned in and pressed a soft kiss against his mouth. She pulled away but kept his face in her hands and her fingers moved in a gentle caress.

"The important thing is you realized your mistakes and are trying to fix them."

"You sound like a Hallmark card."

"Someone has to be your cheerleader."

His hand fell to her back and he pulled her against him, every part of them pressed together. They met in a slow kiss and he quickly pushed further, turning it slightly desperate on his part. She remained still, letting him find whatever it was he was looking for- comfort, a distraction, something else. His hand roamed from her back to her hip, then up her side. When his fingertips grazed the curve of her chest, she moaned lightly, arching in to him.

He immediately pulled away from her and put both hands on her shoulders to slide her back. He shook his head, as if coming out of a daze, and averted meeting her eye. She blinked in surprise but moved, allowing him room to stand up.

"I can't right now." he muttered, swinging a leg over the side of the tub.

"Okay." she let her back fall against the tub and watched as he wrapped a towel around his waist. Clothes had been left in the standing wardrobe for each of them. He grabbed a pair of jeans and a black long sleeved tee and dressed in silence. He grabbed a bottle of bourbon from the table under the window, then sat on the bed with his back against the headboard. Once he pried the cap off the bottle, he took a long sip, and shut his eyes. He kept the bottle in his hands, clenching the neck of it tightly in his fingers. She slid deeper into the bubbles and watched him sadly.

* * *

A loud knock on the door caught Leah's attention as she mixed brownie batter. She glanced out the kitchen window and saw Annie and Alex playing in the backyard, kicking a large red ball between them. She tensed as another knock was heard and quietly made her way into the hallway. The glass on the door was frosted but she could still see the tall frame of whomever stood on her porch. She hesitated but the third knock was more insistent and she took a deep breath, then slowly unlocked the door.

She opened it a crack and inhaled a sharp breath. Jeremy smiled brightly and clasped his hands in front of him.

"Leah Walker. Been quite a while."

"Jeremy. I already paid my taxes for the season."

"Oh I'm not here for taxes. May I come in?"

"It's not really a good time." she pulled the door closer and she wedged her body in the frame.

"Okay. Let me rephrase it. I am coming in because I'm here on official Militia business. I was told you have a guest with you."

"There's no one here. Just me."

"Again, wrong answer. You were never difficult Leah so don't start now. I know Alex is here and I'm taking him with me."

"Jeremy,"

"I'm sure I could arrest you as an accessory to kidnapping and who knows what would happen to... what was her name, Annie? Orphans don't fare too well out on the streets nowadays."

"Kidnapping."

"Yes, didn't Miles tell you he kidnapped Sebastian's son?"

"That's not how I heard it."

"You are lucky it's me who came here and not someone else. You would have been shot dead for resisting the law, aiding a terrorist. What else is there?"

"Is that supposed to scare me?"

"I don't know. Does it? If you don't hand the kid over, I'll leave but that means Sebastian is coming back on his own and that isn't going to be pretty." he eyed her with a leering grin and added, "He always had a thing for redheads."

"Mommy, are the brownies ready yet?" Annie's voice called down the hallway as she and Alex ran into the house.

"Or we could let him decide." Jeremy muttered. He pushed his hand against the door, shoving it opened, and stepped into the foyer of the house. Leah moved aside, unable to do anything else. "Wasn't there a movie like this? Was it _Lassie_? I don't know. Where the one owner loses the dog and a new one finds it? They both want it and start whistling and whoever the dog goes to is the rightful owner? Though, I guess it would make more sense if it was Miles and Bass, not me and you. But we're the middlemen, right?"

"He's a boy Jeremy."

"Same difference. Kids, animals, they're all alike. You have to house them and clean them and feed them. They take directions. Obey orders. Sometimes they can be runts." he straightened up as the kids came into view and grinned as his eyes landed on Alex. The boy skidded to a stop, standing a few feet away, and stared back with a skeptical look. "Well howdy partner. Long time no see. Were you going for the world record of Hide and Seek? I thought I said inside Independence Hall only."

Alex giggled quietly and crept forward.

"Uncle Jeremy?"

"In the flesh kid."

"Why don't you two go and clean up?" Leah suggested weakly. Jeremy waved a hand at her, silencing her.

"No, now hang on. Remember what I said. Alex, are you ready to go home?"

"Home? Like- like back to the city and Dad?"

"The very same. He misses you like crazy." _Quite, legitimately crazy. _"We've been looking everywhere for you. So, what do you say?"

"I'm supposed to stay here."

"Do you want to stay here?"

He hesitated, then shook his head no.

"Do you want to see your dad?" Jeremy pressed further. Alex nodded silently.

"But,"

"But what?"

"Nora and Miles."

"I wouldn't worry about them. Where's your stuff?"

"She said they were coming back for me."

"Alex, I know they seemed cool but the fact is they are bad people and liars. They took you from your dad and they left you here because they knew we were close to finding you." he lied. He had to lie. Usually he liked to play it straight but Alex was too smart for that and he would never go willingly with him. He kept his face neutral, though it stung to say the words.

He often felt like a kid in a divorce, being tugged at from both sides by Bass and Miles. He didn't condone what Miles had tried to do but he understood. He just hadn't wanted to take sides. Nora sure as hell didn't deserve this. They had always gotten along well. It was one of the reasons why he spared her months ago at that old Hannigan's restaurant and didn't reveal her true identity like he had Miles's.

It also wasn't worth the sadness that fell over Alex as the words sunk in. Jeremy always felt bad for him. It had taken him a while to be able to look him in the eye without feeling guilty, though he had no knowledge of Bass's plan. But to look into the face of Miles and Nora's son when they struggled to cope with his supposed death felt like a curse.

Then why was he doing this? Because Jeremy Baker was a smug, selfish son of a bitch who ultimately cared more about his own skin than the emotions of his friends and if bringing Alex back calmed Bass's insanity, even slightly, it was worth it. _You could defect, run to Miles, join the rebels. _

He wouldn't make it out of Philadelphia. It was better just to stay on Bass's good side.


	21. Chapter 21

"Get out."

"Sir,"

"I said get out." Bass ground the words out between his teeth and narrowed his eyes in an icy stare. Even though he wanted the men to leave the room, his actions were more to cover up his reaction to the pain. His officers stood for a moment, then saluted, and left the sitting area of his private quarters. He collapsed against the chair and gingerly pressed a hand against his side.

He tipped his head back against the wing of the armchair with a groan. He was being stubborn, he knew that, but it just didn't seem fair to dope himself up on drugs when Emma was- Emma. His eyes popped open, as though that would stop the scene from replaying over in his head.

It was his punishment, he figured. He had always wanted what was bad for him, what didn't belong to him. Emma, Rachel, Nora, Alex. Now they were all gone. He had betrayed his brothers. Ben had always looked out for him growing up, Miles had always been there. They were the two people he could count on outside of his parents and sisters and he weaseled his way behind their backs to take what was theirs.

Ben had died not knowing. Miles most likely did not know about Emma but Bass would bet money on the fact that he now knew the entire story behind Alex. No doubt Nora had finally admitted how he had pursued her. She had seemingly kept her mouth shut while they still lived in the city otherwise Miles would have confronted him.

Two knocks on the door brought him out of his thoughts.

"I said I don't want to speak with anyone right now."

"Well, President Angsty Teenager, I'm not here on official business so I'm coming in."

In fifteen years, Jeremy still had not learned social graces and Bass had all but given up hope that one day he would. Yet his snappy remarks were astute observations. Perhaps that was why Bass still put up with him. At the moment, he _was_ similar to his angst ridden sixteen year old self- hiding behind his bedroom door, sulking, and yelling for everyone to go away and not talk to him.

"Come back later."

"I'm coming in."

"Open the door and-" the threat died as the door opened and Jeremy stood there with a broad grin on his face.

"You'll what? Shoot me? I found something I know you'll appreciate it."

"I thought you said it wasn't official business."

"It's not." Jeremy stepped away only to reappear with Alex in front of him. Bass straightened up immediately, a look of shock on his normally passive face, and slowly pushed himself out of the chair. Alex raced forward and threw his arms around Bass's torso, making the older man hiss in pain.

"Sorry." he immediately stepped back with a remorseful expression.

"No, it's okay." he flashed a quick smile, teeth clenching as he held his side. "I got hurt a few days ago."

"What happened?"

"Nothing you have to worry about. Come here," Bass reeled Alex back in and held him tightly, arms around his back and one hand cupped the back of his head. He knelt down to his level, though it pained him to do so, and held his face gently in his hands. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." he nodded in response.

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." another small smile formed as he stared at him. Three months. It had been three months since Miles had snatched him back. Three months of always being one step behind and frustration knowing he was so close. "I missed you buddy. You had me really worried."

"I missed you too."

"Here, sit down. I'm going to get you something to eat." Bass pushed him gently into the chair, then went to Jeremy. They exited to the hallway and Bass paced for a moment, hands digging into his hair.

"Am I going to get a thank you?" Jeremy asked.

"Thank you." and it was genuine, which was good enough for his friend. "Where did you find him?"

"Virginia. We got a tip off. I went to investigate. Do you remember Leah Walker? They asked her to keep him."

"They weren't there."

"No."

"Do you know where they are?"

"Not at the moment. But I'm sure we'll be getting more information shortly. Walk with me. I'll explain what I know."

* * *

"What the hell is wrong with you? Agreeing to work with Neville? Telling me to obey or leave? Making secret plans with Neville?"

"Look, I don't need you-"

"Don't finish that sentence. I am not one of your grunts. You don't get to push me around."

"This is why people separate work and pleasure."

"Oh I see. You think I'm pulling this because I'm a nagging wife. No, you jackass, even if we weren't together, you've been taking my opinions into consideration, using me for missions, and relying on and trusting me. But now suddenly I'm not good enough."

"I didn't tell you because I knew you wouldn't agree."

"You're damn right I wouldn't agree."

Of course they would be on a boat when they had this conversation. There was nowhere for Miles to hide, which meant Nora would push until she finished making her point. He sighed deeply as he moved precariously around the boat to the small cabin. She followed close behind and continued to snap at him.

"I get what has been happening these past few weeks. Between Alec and Emma getting killed and having to lead Georgians, it's been hell and it's clearly taking a toll on you. But this- this is," she broke off with a frustrated noise as he laid down on one of the bunks. He leaned his head against the wall and stared straight ahead. "We kidnap people now? This is what we do?"

"We don't have a choice."

She stared at him, emotions running high. She didn't know what to do anymore. Ever since leaving Atlanta, she watched as he reverted further into his former self. She didn't know how to stop him.

"I'm leaving." she announced impulsively. "As soon as we get to shore, I'm transferring to another unit. No, I'll, I'll go get Alex. Head into Georgia. Now that Foster is an ally, I'm sure I'll have an easier time slipping into obscurity."

That caught his attention. They stared at each other, waiting for the other to make the next move or call the others' bluff. She wasn't going to leave. How could she? Maybe if she scared him enough, he would snap out of whatever funk he had fallen in to. Were they more important than a war? Still, she wasn't sure if he believed her or not. He looked indifferent to the idea and said,

"If that's what you want."

She fought to keep her mouth from falling open. That had stung. He wasn't supposed to say that. He was supposed to apologize and beg for her not to go. She wanted to say _you're sure? You understand I'm threatening to get our son and never come back? _Maybe he was testing her, just like she was testing him. What did he want her to say though? _Yes, I'll stay and watch you self-destruct and stand happily at your side without complaint? _Or maybe this was the same old Miles, pushing everything away so he could attain whatever his ultimate goal at the moment was. He wouldn't allow any distractions and would play by any means necessary.

"You know, when you found me and asked me to help rescue Danny, I came because I thought you changed." she said quietly, looking him straight in the eye. "Anyway, I was wrong."

She turned and walked to the door, felt him still staring, and hesitated. She looked back at him, then turned completely, arms crossed tightly over her chest.

"I know there are things that we need to do. I understand getting Camp. Maybe Foster won't be as bad as Monroe. But his kid has nothing to do with this and I would have thought after everything we have gone through, you would understand knowing what it's like to know your child is danger or thinking that you may never see them again. And you're wrong, by the way. We do have a choice." she waited a few seconds to see if he would respond but he didn't. Instead he looked away from her, which made her finally leave the room.

* * *

"Excuse me," Bass tapped gently on Alex's bedroom door, which caught the attention of Suzanne, his nanny.

"General Monroe. I'm sorry, I didn't see you there." she jumped up immediately and smooth the front of her skirt down.

"It's not a problem. You can go home for the night. Thank you for coming on such short notice today."

"Of course. I was just about to get Alex ready for bed though."

"I'll take care of him."

"Okay. Absolutely. I understand. Alex, I'll see you tomorrow." she bent down to hug him quickly. "I'm glad you're back home and safe."

"Thank you."

"Have a good evening General."

"Good night Suzanne." he waited for her to leave the room, then shut the door quietly behind her. His eyes scanned the large room as he made his way to Alex sitting on the center of the bed. The housekeeping staff had been ordered to keep the bedroom in good condition and exactly as it would be if Alex was home and ready for his return. The bed was against the back wall, framed between two windows. One wall contained a bookshelf with various titles, a dresser, and a desk. The other side of the room was set up as a play area with numerous toys and games. "You've had a long day, huh?"

"Yeah." he yawned in response, nodding slightly.

"Ready for bed?" he walked over to the dresser, pulled out a pair of pajamas, and returned to Alex. "I bet it's nice being back home."

"Yeah." he climbed off the bed to stand and pulled his shirt over his head. As he did, Bass caught sight of the necklace and frowned.

"Where did you get that?"

Alex glanced down and fingered the medallion for a moment. He said nothing at first and pulled on the pajama top.

"Hey," Bass leaned down a little and put his hands on his shoulders gently. "You can tell me anything Alex."

"It's Miles's." he said quietly. His jeans were tossed to the side and he tugged on the bottoms.

"Miles huh?"

"Yeah." he crawled back into bed and pulled the blanket over himself. Bass grabbed a book off a shelf and sat down on the left side of the bed.

"Why don't you give me that?"

"No." he shook his head. He wasn't angry or upset. He just didn't want to. The protest surprised Bass. Alex had always been agreeable and obedient. "It's mine now."

"You don't want to sleep with it on."

"I have been."

"Alex."

"I'm not taking it off."

"Okay." Bass knew how to pick battles. He would return later when Alex was asleep and grab it. He didn't want any reminders of Miles or Nora around. Give it a few days and this whole episode would be a distant memory. "I remember we were going to start reading this."

He held up the copy of _Peter Pan_ and Alex shrugged, burrowing into the mattress a little more.

"Are you too tired to listen?"

"No. You can read it."

"I'd rather talk to you." he set the book on the nightstand and looked down at his son. "How was it with them?"

"Fine."

"No one was mean, no one hurt you?"

"No."

"You would tell me, wouldn't you?"

"Yes. Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"You... you love me right."

"Absolutely." he put his arm around him tightly and kissed the top of his head. "More than anything."

"And..."

"And what?"

"Nothing."

The hesitancy and curiosity had settled in. Even though he had been excited to see Bass initially, it seemed as though he was quickly pulling back from him. Bass grew suspicious and began to wonder about what had been said to Alex in the time he had been gone. No doubt he had been painted as the monster. They would have said things to turn Alex against him, to make him hate him, to win his love and trust.

"Hey," he pulled back slightly, just enough to be able to look Alex in the eye. "you need to trust me, okay? I would never do anything to hurt you. I only want the best for you. I was so worried about you. I was always looking and sending everyone to find you."

"Okay."

"What did they say to you?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing? You were with them all that time and they didn't say one word?" he teased.

"I don't want you to get mad."

"I won't get mad. I promise."

"They told me they were my mom and dad and um, you... you took me."

"Oh."

"I don't know who to believe." Alex muttered. "I think everyone lies."

"Well, I won't lie to you anymore. Everyone has biological parents. Those are the people who you are related to through DNA, which is something in our bodies. But sometimes those moms and dads aren't really good at taking care of their baby so someone else needs to do it for them. I did take you but it was only because I cared so much about you and I didn't want to see you get hurt."

"I don't think they'd hurt me. Nora was really nice but she said she would come back for me and Uncle Jeremy said she lied."

"They're not good about keeping promises. Things were probably really confusing for you. They took you to hurt me. That was the only reason but it didn't work. We both know the truth, right?"

"I guess."

"We'll give it some time. You get settled back in here and you'll see things will go back to normal. We'll be okay." Bass held onto Alex tightly, leaning his head against his. "I love you Alex. Don't ever forget that. I've only ever done right by you. I was the one who made sure you had everything you needed and took care of you."

"I know."

* * *

Maybe she should leave. She didn't want to but maybe she needed to. She loved him too much but at times it was unhealthy to be around him. Right now, for instance. She stared at her reflection in the mirror as she stood in the small, curtained area that served as the bathroom for their room and sighed deeply. No, no, she wasn't going to just walk out on him. Wasn't this what she had always yelled and cried about? That they needed to work and fight for their relationship? They were married. It should have been fun, enjoyable, and easy.

Half the time it was hell on earth and she didn't even want to look at him. The rest of the time, she could get wrapped up in whatever moment they were in and never want to let him out of her sight again. Obviously she liked those times the best- when he was Miles, stripped down to the bone and not some defense mechanism he triggered and she was just Nora, she wasn't going to pretend as if she was some saint because she was just as much at fault as he was.

She blamed those stupid fairy tales for giving her a false sense of reality. Happily ever afters did not exist. Or they weren't handed out at least. Six months with Miles proved that. Hell, six minutes with him proved that.

The sound of the door shutting caught her attention and she glanced around the edge of the curtain to see him walk towards the metal table in the middle of the room. He grabbed a bottle off the table, poured himself a glass- she had lost count on how many it had been today, and sat down. She counted to five, then quietly walked out, and lingered behind him.

"Hey."

His head lifted up but he said nothing at first. She could imagine the look on his face as he tried to find some barb to irritate her.

"Still leaving?"

At least this time, she heard the hurt in his tone. She considered that a small victory. She had scared him. But at the same time, it was a challenge, as though he was picking a fight with her. She smiled slightly but forced it away.

"Want to hear a secret?"

He turned a little, then did a double take and stared at her, eyes trailing up and down her body.

"O-kay." he agreed and she proceeded to walk towards him and around to the front of the chair.

"You're not such a bad guy Miles. Don't worry, I won't tell." she smiled a little at him while he looked as though he didn't believe her. She let the shirt fall to the ground and he shifted in the chair slightly before she straddled him. They embraced for a few minutes, hands and mouths roaming, and she hummed softly as she leaned in to him. How many times had they done this? More than she could count for sure. She knew him, knew his reactions, the way he touched her, if he really wanted her or if he was just going through the motions. After avoiding each other for weeks and him being so closed off, it was a relief to have him being just as receptive as she was.

* * *

"I don't understand you." he told her later on. She chuckled into the pillow and turned her head so she was able to see him. She was laying on her stomach and he hovered over her, placing gentle kisses along her back.

"Fifteen years and you're still confused?"

"Usually my bad behavior isn't rewarded with a semi strip tease and sex."

"I figured you needed a reminder that you're not alone and you don't have to be in order to win."

"If everyone else tries to do the same, things are going to get awkward around here." he pushed her curls aside and pressed his mouth against her tattoo. "If I was you, I would run hard and fast in the opposite direction."

"Well, thank God you're not me." she rolled underneath him, putting them face to face. "You're a good person."

"I've done some pretty shitty things."

"So have I. Do you think I'm a bad person?"

"You're different. You and Charlie both knew it was wrong. I knew it was wrong. I just... didn't care."

"No, that's the thing. You did care. You just think being the ruthless general is the only way to win and you don't want to jeopardize anything. You think you have to fight dirty just because he is. That's not the way it has to be."

"It's not that simple."

"It's more complicated that way. I know. War isn't easy. It never is but at least you'll have a somewhat clearer conscience. I don't like who it turns you into."

"I don't like him either. I don't want to be him. I try and I don't know how not to be other than..."

"...other than drowning yourself in a bottle of bourbon?" her hands slipped from his arms up his shoulders, then came to rest on his cheeks. "I'm not going to let you do either. I'm not going anywhere. We're going to do this together, just like we have been, and I promise I am not going to let you go down that path again. That's why I'm here, right? We keep each other going, help the other through rough times."

"If you're sure." he finally muttered after some time of silence. She let out a soft, short laugh and shook her head slightly, fanning her hair out over the pillow.

"Yes, you idiot, I am. Unless you'd like for me to leave."

"No, God no." he paused, then added, "I need you."

"You have me."

"Right now, you're... you're the main thing that's keeping me from going completely off the rails and losing sight of everything. It's always been that way."

It wasn't the first time he told her that. She remembered during their days in the Republic, when things started to get sidetracked and the true meaning had been lost, there were points when he seemed so dark, as if there was no shred of humanity left in him. All she needed to do was look at him or say something and it was like a switch was flipped.

It didn't diminish the power of the statement though or stop her from getting teary-eyed. She flashed a quick, watery smile as he leaned in and kissed her.

"So, thank you." he muttered.

"You don't have to thank me. You do the same for me. That's just what we do."


	22. Chapter 22

"Hey."

She turned as she heard his voice and smiled in greeting. He sat up slightly, rubbing at his eyes, and glanced around the room.

"Where are you going?"

"I have patrol. Need to get going."

"Are you going to leave a twenty on the nightstand? You're making me feel cheap."

She laughed lightly as she buttoned her shirt up and flipped her hair out from under the collar.

"Did I hurt your feelings? How many times have you left me in bed by myself?"

"That's different."

"Right because I don't take it to heart." she smirked. She leaned down on the bed, stretched towards him, and planted a quick kiss on him. "Go back to sleep. I'll be back in an hour or two."

"You could stay here. Save us both the trouble."

"No. I have work to do."

"It's not like anyone is going to come looking for you." he tugged gently on the front of her shirt and she moved further towards him. His hand slipped behind her neck, pulling her down for a kiss. She obliged for a few seconds, then pulled away with a shake of her head.

"You're not corrupting me. I'll get in trouble."

"I'll talk to your general. Something tells me he won't have a problem with it."

"This is why it's good to mix work and pleasure." she teased, smiling.

"Touche." he began to undo the buttons on her shirt and she sighed, sinking down to lay on top of him.

"You're horrible." she muttered even as she started to lightly kiss along his jaw and neck. "But that doesn't negate the fact that I have patrol. If I'm not there, something may go unseen and then we'll be open to attack."

"You think very highly of yourself don't you?"

"There's a reason we have a specific number on the patrol. It has nothing to do with me."

"What a team player."

"I have to go."

"Didn't we just go through this?"

"If I don't go, they'll come looking for me."

"Who?"

"The next in the chain of command and they'll find me here and then they'll realize they need you for something. Do you really want to be bothered right now? You could go back to sleep for a change. Plus, there will be talk about me being in here and then it'll look like favoritism."

"Everyone knows you stay here. Everyone knows we're together. I'm sure none of them have the balls to stand up to me and demand the same rights as you, which would be awkward and strange. Besides, I wouldn't listen anyway. But, you did make a good point. You're leading a trail straight to me. Best to leave. Sacrifice yourself for the greater good."

"See, some things are more important than sex." she grinned. They exchanged one more kiss and she pulled back a little, bracing herself on one hand. The other touched his face gently and her grin turned into a somewhat sad expression.

"What?"

"Just... this makes me sort of, I guess melancholy in a way. I can forget we're in the middle of a war zone and pretend everything is okay but in reality, we could walk out that door and one of us could get killed. I know that's how it's always been but I feel like we're so close to that climactic battle and it's beginning to sink in."

He stared up at her and caught her chin gently in his hand as she looked away from him.

"When this is over, I mean, when the part with Bass is over, we'll get out of here. I don't want to be involved anymore than we have to. We'll find somewhere to go."

"Don't say that."

"Why?"

"Because we don't know what's going to happen fifteen minutes from now. I don't want that thought in my head."

"You'd rather worry about stumbling upon my dead body constantly?"

"Do you have to word it like that?"

"That's what you said right?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Alright well, how about we look at these twenty minutes of sanity as a way to keep us going rather than depress us?"

"Wise words Yoda."

"This is why I love you. You can still reference movies despite fifteen years of not seeing any."

She smiled a little as he swiped his thumb lightly along her jawline.

"I'm not going to pretend like everything is going to wind up perfect. We both know the realities of war and what the risks are and we're both willing to take them. But I will try my best to keep you safe and my best is pretty damn good."

"I know." she leaned in and brushed a quick kiss over his lips. "Will you let me get my pants on now?"

"But I enjoy it so much more when you're out of them." he quipped, which made her roll her eyes and push off the bed. "I'll see you out there."

"Count on it." she pulled her pants on, then her boots, and swiftly pulled her hair into a bun. "Get some more sleep. You could use a few extra hours."

"Hey," he stopped her before she had the door completely opened and she turned to look back at him. They gazed at each other for a moment before he said quietly, "I love you."

It brought a smile to her face as she leaned her cheek against the cool metal of the door. He wasn't an openly emotional person. She knew he loved her. He didn't have to tell her a thousand times a day. Instead, he told her when he knew she absolutely needed it.

"I love you too." she left the room then, tossing over her shoulder, "And do what I said."

"Of course." he fell back onto the pillow and shut his eyes. It lasted ten minutes before someone was pounding on the door.

* * *

_Don't panic_. She repeated it over and over as she regained consciousness and discovered a portion of the brick wall on top of her. But how could she not? All she could hear were Alex's final cries to not leave him, afraid they were going to die. All she could see was Miles's half grin. She wanted to scream. Despite all her rational thinking and telling herself not to get her hopes up, she did it anyway. _Things were starting to get better. It was supposed to work out. _She pushed awkwardly at the wall, fingers scraping helplessly on the bricks, and clamped her eyes shut tightly. It was no use. There was no way she was going to get this off, at least not by herself. She began to yell for help, silently pleading for someone to see her hidden away.

"Nora!" his sudden shout stopped her heart and then she felt relieved- relieved that he was alive and that someone was going to help her. She tilted her head the best she could, straining to see Miles. The smoke was still settling, people were yelling all around them, and various people raced by.

"Miles!"

He stumbled into her view and immediately saw her, ran towards her. She tipped her head up, staring straight at the sky and blinked away tears as he worked quickly to pull the debris off her.

"Hang on. Are you all right? Can you move?" he grabbed her gently by the arm, pulling her slowly into a sitting position. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah." she mustered a nod and put a hand on his arm, unable to not touch him at the moment. He hung his head, heaved a sigh, then looked at her again, and moved his hand to her face to cradle her cheek. They stared at each other, the horror and fear evident on both faces. She looked away first, eyes scanning the ruined area, and her fingers tightened around the sleeve of his jacket.

"Where's Charlie?" his quiet question caught her attention and she looked harder, trying to see any sign of their niece. She met his eye with confusion, shaking her head.

"I don't know." she struggled to remember the last time she had seen her. They had eaten dinner together last night. She thought she had seen a glimpse of her earlier this morning as she left the barracks. A quick hey, Charlie's knowing smirk at Nora's jovial grin.

"Charlie!" they released each other and he stood up, trying to get a better view of the area. He called for her a few more times, then leaned down to help Nora up. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine. Sore but I'll live. Are you okay?"

"Yeah." he gave a short nod. "We need to find her."

"Split up?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'll take the north half of camp. You stay around here." she gestured with a hand. He stared at her, trying to decide, then nodded slowly.

"Alright. Meet back here when you find something."

"Wait," she grabbed his hand and pulled him in to a hard kiss. His hands came up to frame her face as he returned the kiss, then they broke away. He pressed his forehead against hers, caressed her cheek lightly.

"Be careful."

"You too."

* * *

They were screwed. There was no other way to put it. She glanced sideways at him as they hunched down behind the pile of debris. He gripped the gun tightly in his hands, the determinism clear in his eyes. He wasn't leaving without their niece but she didn't see any way possible. They were good but even they couldn't run head first into a clearing full of Militia officers.

"Alright, cover me. I'll be able to get across."

"Miles, wait." she grabbed his hand to stop him from jumping up and his head turned to look at her. He looked so hyped up and ready to go whereas she looked ready to burrow into the ground and head as far away as possible. "We should try to head south away from them."

"No, not without Charlie."

"You heard what Jason said. She could be dead."

It pained her to say that. She didn't want to think of Charlie that way and she certainly didn't want to leave her there but was it worth it to risk themselves in the process if it was only going to end badly?

"Shut up."

"I know this is selfish and I'm sorry but I don't want to lose you too." she murmured, guilt flooding through her. His expression softened as they gazed at each other. This was what they had discussed this morning and now they were facing it. She felt like she should have kept her mouth shut. Like this had only happened because she voiced her concerns. Her voice wavered a little and she added, "I don't want to watch you die."

"I'm not leaving Charlie for dead. I can't. I wouldn't do it to you or Alex. I'm not doing it to her. Just trust me, okay?"

"Okay." there was no point in arguing with him. "You're going to need a distraction then. We're not going to be able to take them all down. I'll go that way, get them to follow-"

"No. Just stay here and shoot."

"It's the two of us against ten or more of them. We do not shoot fast enough. There is no way you're getting through that. You can wait until we're out of sight and find Charlie."

"I'm not letting you be bait."

"There is no other option. If you want to get her out, there's no other way."

"No."

"Miles." she pleaded, giving him an exasperating look. "I will be okay."

"If-"

"No. No, you know that this is how it has to be so don't argue. You're right. You need to get her. At least one of us needs to... needs to have a shot."

"Stop."

"Go. I'll find you."

"Nora,"

"If you waste this, I will kill you." she checked the gun, then looked up at him. A weak smile formed on her face. She wanted to kiss him but she couldn't. She didn't care they were in the middle of a gunfight. It just felt too much like a goodbye. She refused to give in to that frame of mind. They both looked like they had more to say but neither was going to be able to find the words.

They both knew what had to be done. They both told themselves and each other time and time again that they needed to keep focused on the fight and not allow emotions to get in the way. Yet when it came down to it, neither was willing to do that. She didn't want to watch him die and he sure as hell didn't want to watch it happen to her either. They were both selfish enough to risk everything just to save the other, even if that meant others had to suffer in the process. But they were both too dedicated to their cause to allow that to happen. **This **_was why you didn't mix work and pleasure_, she thought sadly, eyes searching his one last time. He swallowed hard as she jumped up and started to run between the buildings.

His head fell back against the mound as he tried to fight the urge to scream. He fired a few shots, taking out a couple of the soldiers running after her, then changed his position behind a truck and forced himself to focus on Charlie.

* * *

She ran as fast as she could with her heart pounding and her lungs feeling like they were about to explode. She dodged bullets and returned gunfire when she could. She spotted another alleyway coming up on her right and darted towards it. Slipping in between the buildings, she pressed her back against the partial wall and tried to catch her breath. Footsteps were rapidly approaching and she aimed the gun, ready to fire as they came. She shot two of the soldiers and ran for the other end of the alley.

As she exited into another clearing, a fist swung out and caught her in the jaw. She stumbled, falling to her hands and knees, and struggled against whoever was grabbing her. Her arms and legs swung and kicked viciously as she let out a string of curses and screams.

"Wait, stop!" a voice called somewhere from her left. A hand grabbed her roughly by the chin, jerking her head up. It was a Militia captain she vaguely recognized. She tried pulling out of his grasp but his fingers just dug in harder. "We're taking her."

"No! Get off me! You son a bit-" her yell was cut off as something hard, the butt of a gun maybe, hit her in the back of the head, and she slumped over unconscious.

* * *

"Maybe she went back to the campsite." Charlie kept up with Miles's long stride as he yelled for his wife. The further they moved from the watch tower, the more erratic he became, unable to contain his fear for Nora.

"I should never have let her run off." he muttered, head whipping in a few directions, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. "Nora!"

They moved closer to the river and more rebels became visible. Each person they came across was asked if they had seen her but so far no one had.

"Something's wrong." he dragged his hands through his hair, biting his lip hard.

"I'm sure she's fine." Charlie tried to comfort him but he shook his head, tearing away from her violently.

"People don't just disappear into fucking thin air Charlie." he snapped, then took a deep breath. He couldn't take this out on her. Not after everything they had just gone through. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'm sure she'll turn up."

He gritted his teeth and took one last look around the area. Maybe she had already headed down the river. No, his gut instinct told him she was in trouble. _Where are you?_

* * *

She fought the entire time they walked. She had woken up on a helicopter but with the canvas bag over her head, she hadn't been able to see anything. The nagging feeling inside her stomach told her she was being brought to Bass. _You're not that important_, she told herself even though it was a ton of bull shit. Bass would gleefully get his hands on her if he could.

"Get off of me!" the arguing was useless but it made her feel like she was doing something. The scrap of metal on metal filled her ears and then she was on her hands and knees again. It was a cement floor, cold, and somewhat damp. The bag was torn off her head and she froze momentarily as her eyes landed on Bass. He stared coldly back at her as the door slid shut.

"Nora. What a pleasure it is to see you again."

She was torn between scrambling away and scratching his eyes out. There were so many things she had lined up to say to him, to do to him if she ever had the chance to see him again. None of them came to mind.


	23. Chapter 23

**July 2013- Ten Months after the Blackout**

To say Chicago was a mess would be an understatement. They had done their best to skirt the major cities and stick to rural or suburban areas simply due to their previous encounters. Even those had been bad. This was worse, at least a thousand times worse.

"Stay close to me." Miles ordered. Nora was not going to argue. She leaned into his side as they walked, with Bass flanking her other side and Jeremy directly behind them. People wandered about, starved and wounded. Others were yelling. Kids were crying. Smoke was billowing from random buildings. On a street corner to their right, a group of people surrounded a middle-aged man who was stammering about something. It reminded her of a scene from a movie. The dilapidated city filled with gangs, vagrants, druggies, and trouble in every alley.

According to their map, it was sixty miles from Michigan City to Chicago. Nora remembered reading once that an average person could walk twenty miles in one day given the perfect conditions. If that was the case, it should have taken them three days. It had been close to two weeks since they had left her father. Granted, they had entered a more dangerous area and needed to be careful, there had been a few violent storms for three or four days, and there was only so much they could do in a given day.

Still, she wondered if Miles was stalling. She understood taking their time when Mia was with them. She couldn't keep up as well but with it now being just the four of them, they were all able to push the limits a little more. Instead, it seemed like they were lagging. They took unnecessary breaks, stopped sooner than they should have, and were just moving slower than usual. If he was doing it purposefully, it had to do with the mysterious brother, and she wondered what the hell was the deal between them.

If it was her, she would have been rushing to get to her sibling. Did they not get along? Was he only doing this because he felt it was his duty as a brother and no other reason? Or were they close and he was scared of what he would find, or maybe wouldn't find? She had so many questions she didn't know how to ask. She knew Miles wouldn't give the answers, not yet at least, and when she had tried to talk to Bass, he had brushed it aside.

They walked another half hour, dodging prying eyes and begging hands, until Miles stopped them on a street just outside the center of the city. It was lined with townhouses on both sides. Some had their windows busted out. One near the end of the street looked like it had gone through a small fire. The area looked deserted, though Nora saw a little girl peering at them from behind the curtains of one window across the street.

Miles said nothing as he climbed the weed infested stairs of one building. Nora glanced at Bass, looking for some cue as to whether they should follow or not. He pushed her forward gently, glancing up and down the street as he did, and fell into step behind her. They waited on the stairs as he paced the porch. The door was in tact, even though the small windows on each side were broken. It was enough room for someone to slip their hand in and open the door from the inside.

He ran a hand through his hair, then slowly put his hand on the doorknob. It swung open immediately. Inside, it looked like a war zone. The table just to the right of the door had been flipped over, its chairs scattered and smashed. A trail of what looked like broken cutlery, garbage, and electronic parts led the way into the living room.

"Ben?" he didn't know why he was calling out to him. Even if they were still inside, they might have been dead. Miles took a hesitant step into the house, hand going to the grip of the handgun at his waist. Bass moved by Nora and mimicked Miles's actions. "Ben?"

They moved quietly through the house. Bass took the first floor and Miles disappeared up the staircase to the second. Nora and Jeremy walked in carefully, not wanting to disturb anything. Glass crunched under her boots as she moved further in and eyed the area. The living room took up the far section of the room with several couches and a flat screen television that now rested face down on the wood floor. A large counter separated it from the small dining room they were currently standing in. To the right of the counter was a fully furnished kitchen.

She looked away as she heard footsteps and saw Miles coming down the stairs. His face was blank as he holstered the gun.

"They're not here."

They? Who was they? She scanned the living room again, noted the crates of toys and the overturned giraffe stretched across what looked like a patio door. Ben had a family. At least one kid. Probably married.

"I don't think they have been for some time." Bass dropped a broken CD onto the coffee table and looked up at Miles. "I think they left on their own."

"Anything they would need is gone. Essentials, first aid, all that is missing. Everything here is useless. People probably raided whatever useful things were left." he looked around the room, not meeting any of their eyes, and kicked angrily at a piece of wood near his foot. It clattered into the wall with a bang and he turned to the door, left, and slammed it behind him. Nora moved to follow him but Bass stopped her.

"Just leave him. He's not going to want us around." he said quietly.

"Where is he going?"

"Probably just going to sit on a corner or something. He'll be fine. I'd be more scared for the people who may come in contact with him."

She looked skeptical and stared at the door, as if he was going to magically reappear.

"I have a feeling we're going to be here awhile so why don't we try and clean this place up as best we can." Bass suggested. Nora and Jeremy agreed, dropped their bags, and started to do whatever they could to make the house habitable again.

As she straightened up the kitchen, she noticed something sticking out from under the refrigerator and bent down to retrieve it. It was a 4x6 picture of a little blonde girl. It was slightly out of focus and too up close, as if she had taken it herself. She was smiling cheerfully, blue eyes sparkling. Her head was blocking most of whoever was sitting behind her but Nora knew it was Miles just from the slight profile she could see. He was looking sideways out of the picture, attention completely on something else, but smiling.

She set it down onto the counter, then glanced at the stairs. Bass and Jeremy had their attention elsewhere so she moved quietly to the second floor. The first five stairs hit a landing, then another five stairs curved to the right and a long hallway. There were five doors. One was a bathroom, which looked like it had seen better days. The next was a room painted in light blues, greens, and had a sailboat motif. There were more toys and the bed was just big enough for a toddler. A nephew, she guessed as she turned to the room directly across from her.

This one was purple and yellow and looked as though Disney exploded inside. Each of the Princesses were in at least one spot but Rapunzel seemed to have been the favored one. A frame on the night stand near the bed caught her eye and she walked closer to see. It was the little girl again. This time Nora knew it was Miles for sure. He held the girl on his hip as they stood in front of the castle in Disney World. The girl looked like she was about to burst from happiness. She hugged Miles tightly around the neck and pressed her cheek against his. Miles looked genuinely happy as well as he grinned at the camera from behind aviator sunglasses. She set the picture back down and moved back into the hallway. The last two rooms were bedrooms. She assumed one was a guest room and the other had been Ben and his wife's.

She examined the pictures hanging on the wall. A man, she assumed was Ben, and a blonde woman who must have been his wife sitting together. Another picture of the girl, this time with a little boy who was definitely her brother. A small photo that was at least twenty years old containing three boys- one was definitely Miles with that scowl, the other had to be Bass just by the curls, and the oldest must have been Ben. She felt like she was spying.

It was another three hours and dark by the time Miles returned. By then, the house looked decent. The floor had been swept up, the broken wood had been nailed to cover the broken windows, and the furniture looked like it hadn't been touched. He sat on the couch without a word and brought his hand up to his mouth to suck on a bleeding knuckle. Nora started to open her mouth but Bass nudged her gently and shook his head.

"So, we were thinking me and Jeremy would each take a couch. You could take Ben and Rachel's room and Nora could have the guest room." he said, trying to keep the topic light. "The kids' beds aren't going to hold any of us."

"Do whatever you want." Miles grunted. "I want to leave early tomorrow so you should get some sleep now."

"What do you mean leave?"

"There's nothing here. No use staying."

"And where are we going to go?" Jeremy asked. Nora scowled at the other two. Why did they get to talk and she didn't? Miles didn't have an answer for Jeremy and pressed further into the couch.

"Look, we'll be able to think more clearly tomorrow. We'll figure out where they could have gone." Bass said.

"It's been almost a year. They could be anywhere. They could be—anyway, we'll figure something out."

* * *

They managed to persuade him to stay. It wasn't the best situation, due to the violence in the city and their dwindling supply of food, but it was better than some of the scenarios they had been in. At least they had a consistent place of residence for the time being. Miles didn't speak unless he absolutely had to. Nora tried several times to engage him in conversation but he pulled away each time. The only time she really heard him talk was to Bass late at night as they poured over maps, trying to decide where the Mathesons could have gone. Even then, she only got snippets of information.

"_Would they have gone to back to Jasper?" _

"_Hell no. Not like there's anything tying them to that town." _

"_Where is Rachel's mom again?" _

"_Sacramento. They're not there. How the hell would they have gotten to Sacramento with Charlie and Danny?" _

"_I don't know man, I'm just throwing out some suggestions." _

Slowly, after two weeks, he started to open back up, though it was in small increments. She received more affection, even if it was just a quick kiss or the soft graze of his hand over her back. He would talk, even if it wasn't about his family. After another week, she felt confident enough to sneak into his bedroom. He had taken to shutting himself in Ben and Rachel's bedroom for hours on end in order to avoid the others when he was done being sociable. She hesitated outside the door only momentarily, then slowly turned the knob. It was unlocked, which she hadn't expected. After a deep breath, she opened the door partially and looked in. He was laying in the center of the bed on top of the blankets with his right arm thrown over his face. She slipped in to the room and shut the door quietly behind her, then flipped the lock for good measure.

The sun had gone down a few hours ago and he had taken the time to light the stacks of candles that stood around the room. Three on the dresser, two on the night stand, three on the other night stand.

If he knew she had entered the room, he made no sign of it. For an extremely brief moment, she thought he was dead, then told herself she was being ridiculous. She still watched him with a wary eye as she crept towards him and let out a sigh of relief as he moved his leg so his foot was placed flat against the mattress.

She hovered near the edge of the bed, contemplating her options, then slowly eased herself down next to his right side. She kept about two inches of space between them though and placed her head on the empty pillow. After a moment, he lowered his arm and placed it around her torso. Nothing was said between them but she moved closer so they were pressed against each other and put her head on his shoulder. She curled her arm around his waist, brushed her fingers lightly against the inside of his wrist. It occurred to her that this was the first time they were both fully coherent and making an attempt to lie with each other. Any other times had been by accident or she had been drunk.

She was slightly confused. Was this all she had to do? Approach him and show she wasn't going anywhere and if he needed her, she was right there instead of cowering away like he was some rabid dog to avoid? Why had he left the door unlocked? Was it for her or Bass? Or did he think none of them would try and encroach on his solitude?

Everything she wanted to say was useless. She had been ready for a fight and it hadn't happened. She kept her eyes on her fingers now following the map of veins along his forearm. He had wanted her to come. Or, if he hadn't, he had accepted the fact that she had. A shiver ran down her spine as she felt his fingertips slide along the strip of bare skin caused by her t-shirt riding up. She lifted her chin just enough to be able to glance at him and almost jumped when she saw he was already watching her intently.

"Most people would have ran by now." he muttered. Her brow knitted together in a frown as she tried to understand what he was saying. "Only Bass knows how to deal with me."

"Oh. Well, I'm not most people."

"I've figured that out." he rolled onto his side so they were facing each other and tucked his arm under the pillow. She remained silent as his eyes roamed over her face. "I don't know what it is about you."

"Is that a good or a bad thing?"

"Definitely good." he pushed a loose curl behind her ear and kept his hand on her cheek, stroking the smooth skin lightly. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too."

"It doesn't bother you... how I get?"

"No," she chuckled quietly, "not in the least. I think you believe you can't show any emotion so you pretend like nothing phases you. But I know you're hurting and you're scared for them and you feel guilty that you didn't get here in time. There's nothing wrong with that. I understand. Remember, I said we had to work on the communication thing. If you want to talk, talk. If not and this is the only kind of comfort I can give you right now, then fine."

"What were you majoring in, psychology?"

"I thought about it. But it's not rocket science. I see it in your eyes. I've seen the pictures. They mean a lot to you. You mean a lot to them, especially your niece. If I didn't know better, I'd say she was attached to your hip." a faint smile formed on his face.

"Yeah, Charlie seems to think I walk on water. Danny hasn't quite gotten there yet. He's more attached to Rachel and Ben."

He surprised her then by talking about the kids. Part of her was flattered that he would speak to her over Bass and the other half told her it was probably because Bass had already heard these stories or had been a part of them.

"You spoil them, don't you?" she asked quietly. That garnered a chuckle out of him and he lifted a shoulder in a shrug.

"I don't get a lot of time with them so I make the most of it when I see them."

"You're a good uncle." she smiled sweetly at him. He looked somewhat surprised at the compliment and she continued, "I know you're worried about Ben but a lot of this has to do with them. My uncle wouldn't have walked halfway across the country to make sure I was safe. Hell, I couldn't even get my dad to do that."

"Thank you." he mumbled. She thought she saw him blush slightly and hid her smile as she leaned over to kiss him gently. They stayed there the rest of the night, eventually falling asleep as the candles burned themselves out.

After that night, she slept in there with him rather than alone in the guest room. Each night, she learned a little more about his family and in turn, she talked about hers. It pleased her to see he could be open and felt like he could trust and rely on her. By the end of the following week, she felt as though she knew so much about each of the Mathesons that she could have aced a pop quiz on them all.

* * *

"Flip a damn coin! It's just a bed!"

Nora lifted her head in bemusement as the door to the bedroom slammed shut. Miles sighed in exasperation and ran his hand through his hair.

"They've just realized the other room has been free and are arguing over who gets the bed."

"Why don't they just share? There's more than enough room for two people in there."

"Trust me, I've shared a bed with Bass. No one should have to suffer that fate. Ever."

"I'll need to hear that story one day." she chuckled, turning her attention back to the book in front of her. She was laying on her stomach, head propped up in her hands, and faced the door with her feet against the headboard.

"Been friends over twenty five years. We've shared multiple beds, tents, sleeping bags. You name it, we've done it."

"Sounds like I need to hear multiple stories then." she turned the page as he sat down next to her. His head came close to hers, peering at the page, and frowned.

"Shakespeare, really?"

"It was either this or _Goodnight Moon_. Your brother and sister-in-law aren't big readers, huh?"

"No. Ben's all about the numbers. This is probably Rachel's attempt to act like she is worldly." he shrugged, sitting up straight once more. She laughed quietly as she bent her legs up at the knee and crossed her ankles. The movement caught his attention and it was then he realized her legs were bare. His eyes wandered along her legs and up. She was in a t-shirt. A maroon t-shirt, that barely covered her black panty-clad ass, with white lettering that declared her would-be graduation as "Class of 2014" and the A&M insignia on her right hip.

He glanced up to find her still enthralled in whatever play she was reading. Then, he decided to gently place his hand over the back of her thigh. She kept on reading, made no sign that she knew he was touching her. So he decided to press his luck and slipped his hand a little higher, resting on the curve of her butt. As he did, he stretched down next to her and kissed the side of her head gently. She sighed quietly, then turned as he leaned to kiss her again so their lips met. She blindly shut the Shakespeare volume -knocking it to the ground with a loud thump- as her other hand snaked around his neck, pulling him in close. They rolled over so they weren't at such an awkward angle and spent the next several minutes locked in each others' arms.

Slowly, he pulled away from her and looked down at her. She was staring up at him with wide eyes, lips parted and swollen from his, and her hair had escaped from the ponytail holder it had been tied in. They had had these intense make-outs a few times since that rainy afternoon at the campsite and every time he tried to push a little further, she stopped him. That was fine. He respected her completely and would never try to force her into anything she didn't want. Even if he was severely frustrated after the fact and wished for a cold shower or five minutes of privacy to take matters into his own hand.

"Do you want me stop?" he wanted to know now rather than her suddenly put the brakes on later.

"No." she shook her head, smiling somewhat. He started to nod and back off, then realized she said no, not yes. His eyes must have bugged out of his head because she laughed a little at him. "You weren't expecting that, huh?"

"You mean-"

"Yeah." her smile turned a bit shy as she tucked her hair behind her ear. "I mean, if you want to. I... I told you I'd let you know when I was ready."

"Why now?"

"I've been thinking about it. The past few weeks, I've realized that we've gotten to this point in our relationship. I think if it was before the blackout, I would have been more cautious, took my time, whatever but we've been through a lot together, from the way we met to going on these... quests, I guess we could call it. I think we've spent more time together than most people. I mean, we're together every minute of the day. We've fought together, tended wounds, confided in each other. I feel closer to you than anyone else right now, or for a while now actually. It's not just going to dinner and a movie once a week. There's a deeper, tighter bond I think. It feels more like it's been years, not months. I feel comfortable with you. I trust you. You mean a lot to me."

She was going to say she loved him, a fact she was growing more certain of with each passing day, but figured that would freak him out. Admitting she cared deeply for him and wanted to give up her virginity to him was probably pushing the limits as it was. The silence was beginning to worry her and her smile tightened a little in anxiety as she wondered if she went too far.

"You mean a lot to me too." his voice was quiet, sincere, and there was a look in his eyes that told her this wasn't just a game or a way to finally get laid. "I don't want to take advantage of you."

"I know and I appreciate that. That's why I want it to be you. I want to be with you."

"You're sure about this?"

"I wouldn't jump into something I wasn't ready for. I've thought it over thoroughly, pros and cons, made lists. Trust me, I'm sure."

He still looked a little skeptic at the idea and peered intently at her, as though he were looking for some small sign that said otherwise. She stared calmly back at him, waiting for him to give the final approval. Finally, he gave a small, silent nod, and lowered his head to kiss her softly. His hands found the hem of her t-shirt, then she sat up slightly to let him pull it off completely. He tossed it to the end of the bed as she settled into the mattress.

He let his gaze roam over her, completely bare except for her underwear, and forced himself to move slow and not lose his cool. She looked a little self conscious, probably due to the fact that she was exposed and he was still fully clothed, so he tugged his t-shirt over his head and let it join hers. His jeans went next, then he positioned himself over her.

"You okay?" he nuzzled his nose against hers and felt her nod.

"Yeah, I'm good." her hands came to rest on his back, fingers digging softly into his skin and muscle.

"You call the shots."

"Miles,"

"I'm not kidding." he silenced her with a gentle kiss. "If you decide you don't want this, I'll stop immediately."

"Fine." she knew he wasn't going to let it go so she agreed to keep him quiet even though she had no intention of stopping this. She lifted her chin with a low moan as he kissed under her jaw. It felt like forever as he worked his way down, taking his time to learn every inch of her and make her comfortable. He moved slowly and gently, constantly checking to make sure she still with him and okay. When he had finished his exploration and she was quivering at his touch, close to coming undone, he moved so they were face to face once more.

He braced himself on one arm, brushed her hair off her face with his other hand, and watched her for several long moments. She turned her head slightly, pressed a kiss against his palm, then leaned into his touch.

"You sure about this?"

She let out a shaky, almost exasperated laugh, and tipped her head back into the bed, "Seriously? After all that..."

"We haven't even done anything yet." he reminded.

"That's what you think." she mumbled, staring up at him with wide eyes. She brought her hand up between them, slid her fingers down over his chest. He caught her hand in his and kissed her knuckles gently.

"I'm serious."

"So am I." she lifted her hips impatiently, brushing against him, and he hissed through his teeth at the sensation it caused.

"Easy," he let out his own, short laugh and shifted his weight around. She smiled bashfully at him as he looked tenderly down at her. "I don't want to be clichéd and tell you I'm in love with you. It seems fake to tell you now just because we're taking this step and I'd rather say it when I absolutely mean it. But I want you to know that I care deeply for you and I wouldn't do this with just anyone."

"I appreciate that. I'd rather it be an honest, heartfelt admission rather than what you think I want to hear." she replied. A slight smile formed on his face and she smiled back at him. Even if he didn't feel ready to say those words to her, she knew just by the way he treated her and looked at her that somewhere within him, the feeling did exist. Right now, that was good enough for her.

* * *

She opened her eyes slowly as she started to wake up. She was on her stomach, head turned towards him, and saw him propped up on his arm, watching her with an intense gaze.

"You scared the crap out of me." she mumbled, turning her face into the pillow. He let out a short chuckle and slowly put a hand on her back, trailing his fingers over the material of his t-shirt and along the length of her spine. She hummed softly at the touch and peered at him out the corner of her eye. A coy smile formed on her face. "How long have you been awake?"

"Long enough. You doing okay?"

"Mhmm." her fingers scraped against the headboard as she moved closer to him. "You?"

"Yeah. How, uh, was everything, I mean-"

"Are you fishing for compliments?"

He lifted the corner of his mouth in a smirk as she smiled at him.

"I just want to make sure it was good and you're not turned off or... or I, I don't know, scarred you."

"It was better than good. No, I'm not turned off or scarred." she pushed him gently on the shoulder, forcing him onto his back. She moved with him, settling on top, and pressed a light kiss against his mouth.

"How much better?"

"You _are_ fishing."

"It's a valid question. Feedback helps."

"Hmm." she braced a hand against the pillow on either side of his head and pushed up a little so they were able to look each other in the eye. "Well, without having anyone to compare you to, I'd have to say it was wonderful. You were sweet."

"Sweet."

"I found your concern to be very cute and endearing."

"I wasn't going for cute."

"Well, tough," she kissed the tip of his nose, "cause you are. Total gentleman and considerate of how I felt."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Yes."

"Sounds like I got a perfect 10."

"No, there's always room for improvement." a wicked grin formed on her face, which made him laugh quietly. She lowered her head to kiss him. She felt goosebumps form as one hand slipped underneath the shirt and along her back while the other tangled in her hair. They stayed like that for a few minutes, exchanging slow, lazy kisses and light touches until they heard a tap on the locked door.

"You two up?" it was Bass's muffled voice that they heard. They shared a silent look and she shook her head no with a finger against her lips to stay quiet. "Hello?"

After a few seconds, they heard his footsteps fade away down the hall. She pushed herself up into a sitting position, situated over his hips, and gazed down at him. A self-conscious half smile formed on her face and he saw the uncertainty of how to seduce and please him but the determinism to do so in her dark eyes. He lifted his hands to run them along her sides but she grabbed his wrists gently and pressed them back into the mattress.

"You got your chance last night. This is my turn." she said. Her voice was a little weak but slowly gaining confidence. He bit back the grin attempting to break free and nodded in agreement. Even though he could take control at any point, he relented. There was something about her -straddling him, wearing only his old gray, Marine Corps t-shirt that was two sizes too big for her and exposed one shoulder, with her hair falling over the other shoulder, tousled from sleep and their lovemaking- that he found extremely sexy.

He watched her shoulders move as she took a deep breath, then her hands were on him. She started at his shoulders, grazing her fingertips along his skin and an old scar from Iraq. He said nothing as she continued down over his chest and abs. He saw a hint of a smile as she skimmed over the bullet graze that she had bandaged only a few months ago. Every so often, she would meet his eye, as if checking to make sure what she was doing was okay. He reassured her with a quick grin and one of her own formed. She dipped her head to kiss him but as soon as he tried to kiss her back, she moved down to his chin, then his jaw, and onto his neck. He inhaled sharply as she bit him lightly, then pressed a gentle kiss there. He felt her grin against him, obviously pleased she was eliciting a reaction from him. She continued down, her mouth following the same path as her hands.

He kept his eyes on her the whole time, trying to ignore the knot that had formed in his throat. He didn't understand it, probably never would. How had an impromptu rescue turn into something he hadn't expected or even been looking for? She softly kissed a faded scar on his right hip and tipped her head up to look at him. Her eyes met his and a loving smile formed on her face. At that moment, he silently promised he would do his best not to screw this up for either of them.


	24. Chapter 24

How long had it been? She had no idea. It felt like she had been sitting in the cell forever. It could have been an hour, two, maybe a day.

"_What, no hello?" he smirked at her. She slowly backed herself up and stood against the wall. _

"_You son of a bitch." she seethed, glaring angrily at him. "What do you want?" _

"_You know what I want." _

"_No. I don't." _

"_Well, I'll leave you here to think on it. It'll come to you." he stood from the chair and walked towards her. If he was expecting her to cower, she didn't. He pushed her none too gently away from the door and knocked loudly on it. The guards outside opened the door, aimed their guns at her to stop her from trying to run out, and shut it quickly as soon as he was out. _

Since then, no one had come into the cell. Why had he even bothered coming? She assumed he wanted to know who his new prisoner was. She lifted her head as she heard the door to the cell opened and looked to see a guard standing there with a box. He dropped it, kicked it towards her, and ordered her to open it. She glowered at the man but lifted the top off, then frowned, and picked the dress up by the straps. It was nothing she would ever wear. It was thin, cheap, and flimsy- he wanted to humiliate her.

"Put it on."

* * *

He paced back and forth in the room as he waited for her to arrive. He hadn't believed it was her. Even after the reports came in, he was skeptical. His faith and trust in his people was rapidly decaying. They could have been mistaken or... knowing Nora as well as he did- he had helped trained her, knew what she was capable of- she could have taken out the troop who transported her and escaped. Bass had no problem admitting he was relieved when the bag was yanked off her head and he could confirm with his own eyes that it was her. Once he had, he was able to decide the next part of his plan.

He turned as he heard the doors open and eyed her as she walked towards him. She looked as good as he remembered and enjoyed the small thrill of excitement that rushed through him. If she didn't look like she was ready to stab him, it would have been perfect.

"That dress looks great on you Nora."

She stopped herself from outwardly cringing. It was a comment he had said to her so many times before. First, as compliments and teasing, then lustful and full of want.

"I'm glad you're here. Old friends are in such short supply these days." he took her hand gently, then tightened his grip as he felt her try to pull away from him. "Please, sit."

She did as she was told, eyes roaming around the group of guards assembled. For the moment, at least, she would have to play along. She knew he was unstable enough to simply snap his fingers and have her killed.

"No thanks. I quit drinking." she lied smoothly. God only knew what was in the bottle. Even if he had poured himself a glass, it didn't mean he was actually going to drink it.

"But you were so good at it." he smiled and she refrained from rolling her eyes.

"What do you want?"

"Just a nice evening." he replied, then walked behind her, fingers trailing lightly over her bare shoulders. "Oh come on Nora, you used to be so much fun."

"And you haven't changed."

He stared at her, then leaned in close, face inches from hers. He brushed her hair aside gently and looked at the bottle on the table.

"That's Miles's brand." he murmured, leaning his head against hers. She gritted her teeth, telling herself to keep calm. She hated him. Absolutely hated him. It was hard to believe he was the bright eyed, sweet Marine who had charmed her all those years ago. That she had originally wanted to trust him over Miles. "But you knew that, right?"

He eyed her up and down, ignoring the glare in her eyes and continued, "I always thought he had such impeccable taste for the finer things. Sometimes I'd... get a little jealous for the things he had."

He smiled slightly, as if he was letting her in on a secret, as though she had forgotten what he had attempted to do to her previously. She said nothing and somehow managed not to squirm as he pressed his face into her hair.

"Oh but you two made a hell of a pair." he pulled away, a bitter tone in his voice. "Like Bonnie and Clyde. The general and the bounty hunter."

She swore she was going to break his fingers and worse if he touched her one more time. He wandered around to her other side and leaned against the table.

"That's not who I am anymore."

"I'm sure." he smiled condescendingly at her, tipping his head slightly. "Nora, where is Miles? For old time's sake, I'm going to give you one chance so let's make it civilized."

She kept her eyes on his, felt her blood boiling. Old time's sake? As if he hadn't ruined their lives, betrayed his best friends, like he was the good guy in all of this. She saw red, then snatched the bottle and swung at him. He caught her wrist in his hand and slammed her down onto the table, fingers digging into the back of her neck. Her ears rang from where her head hit tabletop and she bit back a yell as he pressed close to her.

"That was an expensive bottle." he muttered in her ear. "You know what else was Miles's?"

He pushed further against her, pressing her hips painfully into the table, and dug his hand into his pocket. His fingers found the cord, then dangled the medallion in front of her face. She stopped struggling, eyes locked on the swinging cord that practically hypnotized her, and he moved his head so he could look at her.

"How did—no. No, no, no."

"Yes. Did you think you were going to be able to stop me from finding him? He's right upstairs and he's very happy to be back home where he belongs." he told her. "Nora, in the weeks to come, I want you to remember this moment. I tried to be nice. I would have let you see him. All you had to do was answer one simple question."

"Bass-"

"No."

"You can't do this." she whispered.

"Don't tell me what I can and can't do." he hissed. He pressed his face against the side of her head and she whimpered slightly as he kissed near her ear, teeth scraping roughly against her skin. It was a quick maneuver, one that none of his cronies saw and if they did, they knew not to react in any way. She breathed heavily as he moved off her and rapidly blinked away tears, refusing to allow him the satisfaction of seeing her in such a state.

"Take her back to her cell."

* * *

Once they were set in their new camp, Miles did a headcount, making sure all the survivors were still with them. It was really to double check that he hadn't somehow missed Nora, not that that was even possible. He had been more than reluctant to leave the camp without her but he knew he had a responsibility to make sure the rest of them got to safety. Plus, she would have his head if she knew he had been ready to thrown in the towel and go on a killing spree just for her. He told himself she knew the fallback camp. She would show up. She probably got stuck in a building trying to hide and would come when it was safe to. There was no need to panic.

"You're telling me none of you have seen her?" he scanned the group assembled. No one seemed to have. "She was heading right for you."

One person ducked their head to avoid his eye and he frowned, pushing through the others to get to the back of the group. It was a young kid, part of the Rebels, barely older than Charlie. Probably even closer to Danny's age. Miles wracked his brain, trying to remember who the hell he was. He had recently joined up only a few weeks ago on the way back from Indiana.

"You're looking mighty sheepish over here. What are you hiding?"

"I'm-I'm not hiding anything sir."

"Let's try this again." he straightened up, towering over the teen, who shrunk back slightly. "Did you see her or not?"

"I... maybe. She... she was with the Militia soldiers as they left camp."

"With?"

"Taken. She was... she was unconscious."

"And you didn't think to mention this before? Which way did they go?"

"They turned and went north."

"Again, you didn't think to mention this before? You didn't think when you saw them taking her to grab one of us so we could get her? Or were you too much of a goddamn coward to speak up? I guarantee she wouldn't have left your sorry ass out there to die!" despite his best efforts, his voice rose with every sentence until he was shouting and in the kid's face. He let out some strangled, fearful noise as he tried to back away from Miles, who grabbed him tightly by the collar.

"Miles, stop!" Charlie wedged her way in between them, one hand on his arm and the other trying to pry his fingers off the other man. "Stop. Let him go."

He blinked a few times, as if he was coming out of a trance, and met his niece's wide gaze.

"Stop." she repeated softly. He glanced around at the others, noted the various expressions on their faces. Shocked, terrified, irritated. Somehow, he managed to unfurl his fingers and took a step back.

"How long ago was this?"

"An hour. Maybe two." the kid straightened his collar, cleared his throat, and stared down at the ground. Miles said nothing else and turned away. He walked to the armory tent to pick from the meager remains of their stash and heard Charlie running after him.

"Where are you going?"

"To find Nora."

"You don't even know where they went. They could be anywhere by now."

"So that means I don't go and get her?" he glared at her over his shoulder and she wilted slightly under the intensity. "I faced worse odds before."

"You don't have anyone else or enough weapons."

"There were four of us walking into Philly with swords."

"You weren't leading an army then. There are people depending on you. Some of them are hurt. They need help."

"Yeah and so is she."

"Can you at least wait until we get to the checkpoint? You can't just desert us in the middle of nowhere. At least then, you can get backup and more weapons."

"I don't have that kind of time."

"She's tough. She'll be fine. We can't just go running off without a plan and limited resources. We'll wind up getting ourselves killed. What good are we if we're dead?"

He dropped the gun onto the top of the pile and pressed his palms against the table.

"It's going to be okay." she stepped up behind him and put her hand between his shoulder blades. "We'll find her. Let's just... try and figure out what to do first."

* * *

She woke up with a quiet moan, every part of her body aching. She kept her eyes shut, trying to block out the bright light filtering in, and squirmed a little. At that point she realized she was in a bed and frowned. Something wet and cool was suddenly on her face and she jerked away with a yelp.

"Mrs. Matheson, I'm sorry. General Monroe requested that I clean you up." the apologetic voice belonged to a female and Nora forced her eyes open to see a young girl, maybe seventeen at the most, sitting next to her. "I'm sorry."

Nora could only stare for a moment. She couldn't remember the last time she was referred to as Mrs. Matheson. A volley of memories hit her and she shook her head slightly. Her eyes wandered around the room, recognized it immediately as Bass's. Her mouth curled in disgust and she forced herself to sit up.

"I, um, I don't think you're-"

"Move."

"Yes ma'am. I'm sorry." she stood instantly and Nora climbed out of the bed, forcing herself to remain standing despite the pain. What the hell was he trying to do? What happened to her one chance and one chance only? She ignored the girl, a maid she supposed, and moved towards the double doors. The knob was locked. She jiggled it a few times, as though that would change things. "Mrs. Matheson,"

Nora said nothing and moved to the windows. She didn't know why. She knew the interior of this building better than any other, except perhaps her home. She knew Bass's bedroom was on the second floor, the windows were sealed shut as a security measure, and Militia patrolled the exterior in fifteen minute intervals. She was not getting out.

The sound of the door opening made her jump and she swung around to see Bass standing there, hands behind his back. He regarded her with a cool stare, then turned his attention to the teen.

"Thank you Marianne. You're dismissed."

"General Monroe," she curtsied and exited the room. Nora kept her eyes on Bass as she backed up towards the desk in the corner of the room. He raised an eyebrow as he watched her hands feel along the wooden top.

"Don't bother. Anything that could be used as a weapon has already been taken out of here."

"You'd be surprised at what I could use."

He chuckled quietly and walked towards her, saying, "God, I've missed you."

She stared at him with a repulsed expression and moved as quickly as she could to the other corner of the room. He only followed after her.

"What the hell is all of this?"

"I figured Miles was right. He was always the better interrogator, wasn't he?" a flash of bitterness moved across his face. "Torture and ask, let you heal a little bit, rinse, lather, repeat. Seven days of interrogation, one day of rest. We'll do this as long as we have to until you tell me where he is."

"I know you. You're not patient enough to wait that long."

"Trust me, you'll tell me one way or another."

"Even if for some odd reason, I felt like giving up that information, why would I ever help you? You took my son. _My son_ Bass." her voice cracked slightly. "You wrecked everything and I hate you for it."

"I wrecked everything." he repeated coldly. He was against her before she could move. She brought her hands up but he gripped her wrists tightly in his hands. "I gave you a choice. Then and now. Do you know how bad it hurts to have to do this to you? I care about you."

"You're a fucking liar." she ground out. She was shaking and she hated herself for appearing so weak. He smiled, fingers tightening around her. She was sure she would have more bruises because of it.

"Not so tough when Miles isn't around to swoop in and save the day."

"Bass, please stop."

"This all could have been avoided if you had just come to me when I asked." he murmured. The lower half of his face was pressed against her forehead. She tried to move, kick him, knee him in the groin, but he overpowered her. His knees were pushing into her thighs, practically locking her in place. The way he pushed against her kept her in an awkward position. She squirmed uncomfortably. Her back was digging into the bookcase against the wall and no matter how much she tried not to touch him, they only seemed to touch more.

"So this is punishment for not leaving my husband and fawning over you?"

"Your husband." he snorted softly, peeled back to look her in the eye. "You were always so stupidly loyal to him. What did you say to him once? That there's always someone who puts everything into the relationship because they care so much and the other does nothing? They basically just settled because there was no other option. That's what happened with you two. You adored him, fought for your relationship but you were nothing to him. You were a good lay. That's all. He told me so. And even if you think so highly of him, think he does love you, where is he now? It's been a week since I took you. Why hasn't he come for you? I didn't think it was exactly rocket science where you would end up. It shouldn't have taken this long. He managed to break into the city once to get Danny. It wouldn't be difficult to do again seeing as it's Miles. And, when I held Emma hostage, he came running right away. Yet... he's left you here."

"I don't know why you're even bothering. I don't care what you say. You're a manipulator Bass. That's just what you do. You charm people, twist things to make them believe what you want them to. You'll do anything to make sure-"

He backhanded her across the face at that point and she tasted blood on her lip from where his hand caught her. She brought her free hand up to cradle her cheek and ducked her head, letting her hair fall in front of her face. He leaned into her, one hand pressed against the bookshelf, and lowered his head to look her in the eye.

"Why do you have to push me?"

"Dad?" Alex's voice was quiet from behind but caught both their attention. Bass chuckled quietly and placed a kiss against Nora's forehead.

"Be on your best behavior." he muttered. He released her and she slumped a little more against the bookcase, breathing heavily. His eyes roamed over her before he turned to face Alex with a smile. He was standing in the open doorway of the bedroom, face furrowed in a frown. "Hey, I didn't know you were awake."

Well, that was an outright lie. He knew he was awake. He had left the door open on purpose, knowing at some point he would wander by and check in. Bass hoped if Nora saw Alex, saw he was well fed, taken care of, etc. that she would see things weren't bad at all. She would be more inclined to help.

"What's going on?" his eyes wandered beyond Bass to Nora's hunched form. "Is- is that Nora?"

She lowered her head more, not wanting him to see her in such a state. She could feel his eyes on her though, as well as Bass's. Taking a deep breath, she pushed her hair out of her face, behind her ears, and looked up.

"What happened?"

"We found her." Bass explained, taking a step or two towards Alex, who had backed up slightly. "I'm helping her out."

Nora made an incredulous noise, making him turn his head back to her. His cold, warning stare made her bite her lip.

"But... you said-"

"Sometimes people need our help. It doesn't matter what they've done. It's called being the bigger person. That's what good people do. Now, I seem to recall Jessica is coming for your tutoring in about a half hour. Go back to your room. I'll be there in a minute to help you get ready."

Alex hesitated, eyes still locked on Nora. He opened his mouth, as though he wanted to say something, then shut it silently. He looked at Bass, then quietly left the room.

"You see what I mean?" she said as the door clicked shut. "You even do it to him."

"Like you didn't do the same when he was with you."

"The difference there was what I told him was actually true."

"And what did you tell him? That I was a bad person, that I killed hundreds, thousands? That I kidnapped him? I'm sure you and Miles were depicted as saints." Bass lifted his hands, gesturing to the room around them. "I have done nothing to him. Look at him, look where he is. He's thriving. He has a good life, an education, friends. He has everything he needs, anything he asks for. He's happy here. Don't you want what's best for him?"

"You are not what's best for him."

"You keep telling yourself that." he moved to the door and stopped before opening it. "Are you sure you don't want to tell me where Miles is?"

"Go to hell."

A low chuckle escaped his lips and he nodded, "I'll check back later with you."


	25. Chapter 25

"Can I come in?"

Miles sighed inwardly at the sound of Charlie's voice and was tempted to say no. He had just finished a meeting with several officers and wanted to be left alone. No, what he really wanted to do was take off to the Republic and find Nora. Kelly was making that near impossible though. She kept pulling rank, rightly so, and telling him _he _worked for _her_. He wasn't in charge anymore. He was tempted to go AWOL. For now, he was stuck and relying on a terrible web of dwindling spies to be his eyes and ears.

"Is it something important?"

"I brought you some dinner and a drink that isn't alcohol." she smiled slightly, eyes wandering to the near-empty bottle of bourbon on the corner of the desk. She looked back at him, took in the three day's worth of scruff and dark circles under his eyes, and the smile vanished.

"Thanks but I'm not hungry." he pulled his chair closer to the desk and opened a report to read. He wasn't being stubborn or petulant. He physically could not eat. He would get a few bites down every few hours, then feel sick. The stress, fear, and guilt was too overpowering for anything else. He was surprised he was even functioning enough to give out orders and receive reports. Though, he had to admit, it wasn't as though he was contributing much to the conversation- just glare, yes/no, and get the fuck out.

"You look terrible."

"Thank you."

"I'm worried about you."

"Don't be."

"Well, I am." she sat down in front of his desk and placed the plate on top of the report. "What did they say?"

"They think she's in Philadelphia but no one can confirm that for sure. There was someone who matched her description but she hasn't been seen since. She's either being well guarded and by someone he trusts or-" he cut himself off sharply and reached for the bourbon. He had been past the use of a glass for a few days now. That probably wasn't helping either. She frowned as he took a long sip, then tilted his head back against the chair.

It had been two weeks since Nora had gone missing. He had spent the first few days surveying the surrounding area himself. As they moved further to Atlanta, he had dispatched others to look for her. He couldn't be in two places at once. That was where the guilt came in. It shouldn't have mattered what was going on in Georgia. It shouldn't have mattered that Kelly threatened to have a guard on him 24/7 and snipers on every roof if he tried to leave the city. He could outwit them, find some way to get to the Republic without her knowing.

Then what? He couldn't get into Philadelphia without getting himself killed. He knew rationally that Bass would have heightened security to ridiculous proportions since the last time Miles got into the city. Even if he happened to get past the gates, his odds of finding her and getting out alive were weak. Kelly had already told him she would not authorize an attack if and when he found Nora. She wasn't going to infiltrate the Republic for just one person.

"_I understand she means something to you Miles but this is war. You know that better than anyone. There are casualties. I'm sorry that she's one of them but I have bigger things to worry about. I have thousands of people who are counting on me to protect them. I can't go to Sebastian, guns blazing, just because he has someone special to you." _

He squeezed his eyes shut at the memory and tried not to envision what she was going through at the moment. But he knew exactly what was happening, wherever it turned out she was. He was the one who had instilled many of the militia interrogation methods. Somewhere, in the back of his head, he hoped she was with Bass and, even more stupidly, hoped there was some piece of the old Bass who wouldn't be so harsh on her.

"We'll figure something out."

He said nothing but mentally agreed. He had to figure something out because if he didn't try and get to her, he was going to go crazy and never forgive himself. He reached for the bottle again but found it gone. His eyes wandered to Charlie, who smiled kindly as she held it in her hands. He stared at her for a few seconds and realized there was no point in fighting. He could hardly believe it had only been two weeks ago when Nora had also taken charge, albeit in a different context.

_ "I don't like him either. I don't want to be him. I try and I don't know how not to be other than..."_

_"...other than drowning yourself in a bottle of bourbon? I'm not going to let you do either. I'm not going anywhere. We're going to do this together, just like we have been, and I promise I am not going to let you go down that path again. That's why I'm here, right? We keep each other going, help the other through rough times."_

He had a strong suspicion that the pair had had a conversation entitled "What to Do If I'm Gone and You Need to Take Care Of Miles."

"Eat your dinner." Charlie stood up, pointing at the plate. "Please. You're no use to her if you're drunk and starving."

* * *

Bass was beginning to think that he had gone about this all wrong. As he watched Alex across the dining room table, he realized he hadn't placed much stock in his feelings for Nora. Three months was such a short amount of time. Compared to six years, three months was nothing. It seemed illogical to Bass that they would have been able to build some sort of connection. Add in the negative propaganda he had been feeding Alex, and it seemed safe to assume he would relinquish whatever thoughts and feelings he had towards his parents. Yet, as he watched his son morosely push his dinner around the plate, Bass knew the recent events were bothering him.

"Something wrong with your food?"

He didn't want to be that parent, the one who forced their kid to eat by playing the 'there are starving kids all over the Republic who would be grateful to have your dinner' card. But he also didn't want to play into the apparent angst and show sympathy.

"No."

"Then eat it."

A scowl crossed Alex's face and Bass clenched the fork in his hand as he realized in that second how much he reminded him of Miles. He had always been sheltered and given everything and anything he needed and asked for. He had always been happy, always been loving, always looked at Bass like he had hung the moon and the stars. Bass did everything in order to make sure there was never any doubt or suspicion in Alex's mind that he was not his father or that he didn't love him.

That expression was a slap in the face, a reminder that despite all that, he was really not his. That was why he got so agitated at the thought that Alex was pining for Nora and Miles. As far as Alex knew, they had never done anything for him. Even in the time he spent with them, they had dragged him through hell only to dump him at a random stranger's house. _But you never gave them a chance. _He ignored the small voice in the back of his head along with Nora's words from the previous week.

"Can I see her?" Alex's voice caught his attention and he looked up. They stared at each other and apparently Bass's silence was unappreciated as the boy repeated his question a second time.

"No."

"Why not?"

"She's not feeling well. She needs to be left alone. I want you to forget she's here. She'll be gone in a few days anyway." The question had blindsided him. He knew Nora would want to reach out to him. He hoped he would have been able to use Alex as a bargaining chip but so far that hadn't worked. Even if he suspected Alex might have wanted to go to Nora, he never thought he would be outspoken or brave enough to ask it.

"But I haven't seen her. I... I miss her."

"Alex, remember what we talked about. I don't want you to get hurt and if I let you see her, you'll only get upset. She doesn't want to see you."

"I don't believe you."

"What?" his eyes narrowed slightly as he tried to remain calm. This wasn't just some militia soldier. This was Alex, his son, whom he had fought for and he'd be damned if everything he had worked for suddenly started to unravel. "Things are confusing. I know-"

"Why did you hit her?"

"I didn't."

"Yes you did. I saw you."

"You're wrong. I would never hit someone."

"Why is she here?"

"I told you-"

"I don't believe you!" the outburst was unexpected, as was the way Alex suddenly flew out of his seat. He stood at the table, tears bubbling to the surface even as he desperately tried to fight them off. Bass was sure his mouth was hanging open. "You said you wouldn't lie."

With that, he fled from the dining room and Bass stood quickly, shouting for Alex. By the time he had reached the hallway, he heard the door to Alex's bedroom slam shut. He stood with his fists clenched tightly, suddenly at a loss.

* * *

She was sure she was dying. Everything hurt like hell and her head felt like she had the worst hangover ever. That had to be dying. She turned her head a little, bit back a groan at how even the slightest movement felt like getting stabbed, and was ready to admit defeat. Then she felt a hand on her cheek, fingers brushing at her dirty, ragged hair, and stroking gently over the bruises.

"Miles," she leaned into the hand and squeezed her eyes shut tighter. It was over. Or maybe it hadn't happened at all and this was some awful nightmare. Maybe she had the flu. The flu caused all these problems, didn't it?

But the touch was all wrong. The hand was too smooth and soft, as if he hadn't touched a weapon in years. She realized that all too soon and felt sick. She started to move away but Bass wrapped her hair around his fingers and tugged a little, keeping her in place.

"Close but no."

"Get away from me."

"Again, no." his fingers tightened on her cheek and she grimaced, trying to pull away again. "Look at me."

He shook her a little for effort and she reluctantly opened her eyes. For a moment, there were two of him and the room was spinning but then her vision righted itself.

"What the hell did you give me?"

"An impressive mixture of drugs. How does it feel?"

"Screw you."

"You've never offered in the past." a smirk flitted across his face. "Why are you doing this?"

"Why am I doing what? _You're _the one torturing people."

"Why are you willing to go through this for him? Is it worth it?"

"I don't know where he is. I've been here for... what, two weeks now? He could be anywhere by now."

"You know where he is."

"I don't know anything."

"I don't believe that."

"Well, sucks to be you then."

He looked like he was tempted to hit her but refrained. His hand dropped from her face and he backed away slightly. She refused to be in such an inferior position and forced herself to sit up against the headboard. They stared at each other, as though they were trying to see who would break first.

"You try to act tough." he finally said. "You act like you would do anything for him, no matter what the price is, but you're scared."

"I'm not scared." That wasn't a lie. She wasn't scared of Bass, even if he disgusted her. She wasn't scared of dying. The only thing she was scared of the fallout if she did. What would happen to Miles, Alex, Charlie?

"No?"

"Not at all."

He lifted the corner of his mouth in a semi-smile and tilted his head as he observed her.

"Do you miss it?"

"Miss what?"

"Being here. Being on top of the world. Having everything you need and want. Not slumming it in the woods. I remember what it was like before we settled here. Abandoned buildings, tents, terrible food."

"No, I don't."

"Not even the least bit? You forget I know you Nora. You like the finer things in life."

"I like the things that matter to me. This godforsaken city doesn't mean a damn thing to me. You don't mean anything to me."

"But Alex does."

That quieted her and he pointed at her in a 'aha, got you' way.

"Who is more important to you? Miles or Alex? Don't be too quick to answer. Think it over. If push came to shove, who would you choose?"

"Are you that deranged that you'd hurt a child?"

"I never said I would hurt him. I asked who you would choose."

The answer was Alex. She knew it automatically. If there ever came a point where she needed to choose between her husband and her child, the latter would win. She didn't feel guilty about that. She knew Miles would do the same and that was more than fine with her. There came a time where Alex took priority. It was one of those unspoken agreements between them.

"You're causing him a lot of grief. He's acting out, not being himself. I don't want to let him near you yet because I don't know if you're going to do what I want. I don't want him to get more attached than he already is."

"You mean you don't want him to know you had me killed if it came to that."

"All you need to do is tell me where Miles is. I will stop all of this. I promise. You can be with Alex. You can stay in the city. Whatever you want, it's yours. I'll patch things up."

She studied him with a hard expression. If her arms didn't feel like jello, she would have tried to strangle him.

"The only thing I want is to know why."

"Why?"

"Why you took him from me. Why you lied that he was dead. We were your friends Bass. We loved you, trusted you, and you went and did this. You saw what it was doing to us and you just stood by and watched it happen. Ever since the night Miles brought Alex to me, that is the one question that kept going over in my head. Rachel gave about ten different answers and even if one of them was the truth, I wouldn't trust it. So I want you to tell me why you decided it would be a good idea to take my child from me."

He was regretting the decision to bring her up to his bedroom. He thought it would be like with Rachel. Play nice and get rewarded. Except Nora wasn't as easy to crack, wasn't as cold to turn on people without a single feeling of regret. He should have known that the time he spent in the same room with her would lead to this discussion.

"You and Miles were-are too good together. You're a dangerous combination. Letting you have a kid would have been a risk. I couldn't have that. Alex would have been great as a Matheson. I made him better. He's a Monroe. I wasn't going to let him go to waste or push me out of my own power. I would cultivate him, get him ready for when I deemed it necessary."

"What are you talking about?"

"Miles was getting... nervous. He would suggest that I go away for a few days or not push through a certain agenda. Why? I am the leader of this republic. He didn't want it when we started. He doesn't get to decide seven, eight years down the road that I'm not doing a good job. I knew what you were doing. You were gearing up to give me an early retirement. It would have been one, big, happy family at the top. Start the Matheson Dynasty." his fingers clenched around the blanket. She frowned at the remark. She had heard it before, as a joke from Jeremy, and never took it serious. He relaxed his hand, then continued on with his story.

"You have no idea how sick it made me to see you two together. It was always me and Miles. Even after you came, it was still me and him. After Trenton, it was like he stumbled out of the fog and saw what was in front of him. No more messing around. Suddenly I wasn't important anymore. I was the third wheel. He had you, you were starting a family, and he was happy. He didn't even want it. Never had. I was the one who had and deserved it. Rachel wouldn't give me what I wanted. You wouldn't leave him. I figured if you thought Alex was gone, you would leave and he would stay because the Republic was more important."

"So... so you were afraid that Alex was just a political chip but when you realized we were happy, you got jealous, and wanted it? You thought I'd just fall into your lap, like some pop-up family, and you'd be set? But it didn't happen how you wanted so you decided to ruin it? All these years and it was because you had a temper tantrum?"

"It wasn't just that."

"Well that's how it sounds to me."

"I'm done explaining myself to you." he looked away and she could have sworn there was a hint of tears in his eyes. "Tell me where he is."

"No."

"Then things are going to get worse. I'm done playing games. You're so willing to sacrifice yourself for him, then fine. You thought the dosage you got yesterday was bad, just wait. You're not getting any more of these reprieves."

"I never asked for them."

"I did care about you." he said after he was standing at the door with his back to her.

"No you didn't."

"I did."

"You only care about yourself Sebastian and what is going to benefit you. You're power hungry, obsessed, and you latch onto whatever you can find and refuse to let go because you can't seem to make your own happiness, even if it's at the expense of someone else's. If you cared about me, you wouldn't have done any of this and you'd let me go now."

She refused to look at him and the only response she received was the slam of the door, then the sound of the key turning in the lock.


	26. Chapter 26

**April 2015- Two and a Half Years After the Blackout**

Nora woke up to roaring winds, heavy rain, and the hushed whisper of voices in the next room over. She sighed into the pillow, stretched lazily in the bed, and reached over for Miles, who was missing. She opened one eye at that realization and scanned the dark room. The door was opened about three inches. From here, she could see the flicker of candlelight and shadows moving across the wall. She was only half awake and therefore barely listening to what pieces of conversation she could hear. If it was important and involved her, they would have woken her up.

Then again, they were boys. Grown men with important responsibilities but boys nonetheless. They would leave her on the outside to have all the fun themselves. Because she wasn't there to do it, it sounded like Jeremy was playing the peacekeeper. Miles seemed to be on his last ounce of patience, Bass was quickly following, and the fourth voice she didn't recognize. But they were arguing about something. She strained to listen, heard the unknown man talk about raiders along the Indiana border. It didn't sound like anything she had to worry about at the moment. She burrowed further under the blanket, trying to block out the sound of the rain, and dozed off again.

The next time she woke up, it was to Miles's voice and his hand on the back of her neck. She opened her eyes slowly to see the room still dark, though a few candles had been lit on the night stand. He was sitting next to her and leaned down so their faces were close together.

"I have to leave." he told her quietly. She simply stared at him for a moment, still trying to wake up and distracted by the gentle massage of his hand.

"What time is it?"

"Early, not even six."

"Come back to bed then. We'll get up in a few hours and I'll go with you. Where are you going?"

"Sounds enticing but I can't. I'm going to border with a few of the guys. There's problems in Ohio. We're going to try and squash it."

"Expanding our horizons?"

"Always. Bass will be here to look after you."

"You mean, I'll look after Bass." she muttered, smiling slightly. He laughed quietly and tipped his head in agreement.

"Keep an eye on each other."

"I still think I should come."

"I still say no. It's not worth it."

"So why are you going?"

"I said it's not worth _you _going. We're going to meet up in Richmond in two weeks. If things haven't calmed down by then, then you can help."

"You know, one day you're going to have to accept I'm a part of this too and I can handle my own in a fight. You're lucky I find your concern to be cute and endearing for now."

"I do accept it. I'd just rather you not be involved as much as you want to be." he leaned in and kissed her. She turned herself slightly so she could get an arm around him. "I really have to go. They're waiting outside."

"You sure about that?" she flashed a flirty grin as they pulled away, making him let out a short laugh.

"You're making it difficult but yes." they exchanged another quick kiss and he finally pulled away from her. "See you in a few days."

"Be careful."

"I will. You do the same."

"I have Bass and Jeremy. I'll be okay. It's you I'm worried about."

"Actually, Jeremy is coming with me." a frowned formed on his face at the thought. "Yeah, I'll be worried too."

"Stop." it was her turn to laugh and she tugged him back down, unable to resist. "He's got your back."

"Doesn't mean I won't try to kick him off his horse. Alright, I'm really leaving this time."

"Keep telling yourself that."

He smirked as he moved off the bed and grabbed the bag sitting on the dresser.

"I love you."

"I know." he winked at her as he left the room and shut the door quietly behind him. She sunk back into the bed, pulled the blankets up to her chin, and let out an audible sigh.

Things had changed in the time since the blackout. They had spent months looking for Ben, Rachel, and the kids with no results. There was simply too much ground to cover in every direction. While they continued their hunt, they became more aware of the devastation that was occurring. Being in one localized area had made them see that these weren't just isolated, random events. This was how life was for the time being. Towns were struggling, people were dying, there was no basic structure of an organized civilization anymore.

She saw the toll it was taking on Miles, saw the flash of panic and pity every time he saw a child that could have been his niece or nephew. It was clear to her that he felt a growing sense of guilt and believed he was useless. He was a Marine. On the grand scale, this was the country he had sworn and fought to protect and now it had crumbled down around him. On a smaller scale, this was his family who was at risk and in danger and he needed to protect them.

She remembered the night he had first voiced his idea to her. It had been four months after they had arrived in Chicago, sometime in November, and it had been close to freezing and the threat of early snow hung in the air. They had been huddled together on the couch with two blankets wrapped around them.

"_What if someone finally took a stand and did something about this?" _

"_People aren't thinking like that. They think it's every man for themselves." _

"_So they would rather watch their kids die and their houses burn rather than accept help? I don't believe that." _

"_Neither do I." _

"_If we started to round up a group of people, show what can be done, others will start to follow." _

"_We?" she lifted her head off his chest and stared up at him in confusion. _

"_No one else is doing anything." _

"_What about your family?" _

"_I don't know where to go. I don't know what to do for them. I don't... I don't even know if they're alive. But... at least I'd be doing something and maybe this will work and if they are alive, they'll have a better way of life. I can't keep sitting here and doing nothing or chasing dead ends. But I can do this." _

_He looked so determined at that point and confident in what he was saying. She didn't know if she was biased because she was in love with him or there was some other charisma to his personality but she was mesmerized and, after she thought it over, believed in him. They weren't going to transform the world in a day. That wasn't what he was saying. Baby steps._

"_Okay." she said simply. He looked a little surprised at that. _

"_Okay?" _

"_Why not? It's not like we have anything to lose, right?"_

"_We?" he mimicked her earlier question and she smiled, found his hand under the blanket, and curled her fingers around his. _

"_We." _

It hadn't taken much prodding to get Bass on board. Hell, Miles had barely explained what he wanted and Bass had jumped and said, _"I'm with you brother. I've got your back." _Jeremy had shrugged in a 'what the hell' way. Then, it spiraled. Miles and Bass began to do good deeds and dole out justice around the city, like they were modern-day vigilantes. They gained the trust of a few people, then a few more people. Miles took action, Bass charmed. People joined them, wanting to help the fight and/or wanting their protection. Miles had been right. They needed a push in the right direction and then they would fall right in line, especially when they had an incentive waiting for them. Miles and Bass used their Marine training to get their followers into shape and set up a basic system for everyone to follow. It was helpful when former military members or cops joined to throw their experience into the ring as well.

Now, Illinois was a viable state once more. Indiana was halfway there. Their merry band of people had turned into a number somewhere easily in the hundreds when they counted the stations they had throughout the two states. The Militia, as they had taken to calling it, moved like a sponge. It absorbed anything in its path, whether it was done willingly or by necessary force as Miles referred to it. _"I know some people are skeptical. Once we get a stable way of life and they see we're only trying to help, they'll come around. Right now, sometimes we have to make the tough decisions to do what is best for everyone." _

Ohio was next. They were moving east. Bass had suggested trying to get to the coast, that it would open up more options for them. With the rate they were going, Nora couldn't foresee any possible end at the moment.

* * *

"Sebastian,"

He sighed when he felt Nora splay her hands over his shoulders from behind and lifted his head from the maps he was looking at.

"Why do I feel like I'm about to get into a shitload of trouble?"

She laughed as she came around to the front of his desk and smiled sweetly at him. He tilted his head, observing her, then shook it.

"No, whatever it is, I'm not participating."

"I haven't even said a word."

"Yeah, you don't have to. I have already spoken to Miles and I am under strict orders that you are not allowed to participate in any sort of danger whatsoever while he is away."

"That doesn't sound very fair to me."

"I'm not the one dating him. Take it up with him."

"Bass, if you're not here to babysit me, how do you know I'm not participating in any sort of danger whatsoever?"

He opened his mouth but couldn't come up with any sort of retort. He met her eye reluctantly and the sweet smile turned slightly deadly, which was unsettling on a face as innocent looking as Nora's.

"Who said I was going anywhere?"

"I overheard you talking to Peter."

"What do you want?"

"You could use me in Decatur."

"Who is going to watch the base?"

"Do I look like June Cleaver to you? Does the fact that I have boobs negate my usefulness in a fight? I should just be relegated to cooking and tending the fire?"

"I will let you come only if I don't have to listen to another one of your feminist rants. But only if you can hurry and pack your things. My group is getting ready to leave."

"Already set."

"How did you know I would agree?"

"I didn't but if you said no, I was going to come along anyway."

"No wonder Miles looks like he's gotten his ass beat every time he leaves your tent. You just steamroll over him, don't you?"

She chuckled as they left the old motel room and started for the field where the horses were tethered.

"No, usually I just have to pout and he gives in. Or threaten to withhold sexual favors."

"You are a cruel woman Nora Clayton."


	27. Chapter 27

**April 2015- Two and a Half Years After the Blackout**

"And I want a man at each gate. No one gets in. Understood? When Monroe gets back, you send him straight to me." Miles barked at his men as he started to enter the tent. He yanked the flap back into place with more force than necessary and moved towards the table placed in the center of the area. He flicked through a few papers, then tossed a map onto the top.

"Boy, I'm feeling the love right now."

He glanced up, saw Nora sitting at the head of the bed, then glanced down with a sigh. His head jerked back up quickly as he realized she was sitting there, smirking at him with her head tilted to the side. He glanced at the tent opening, then back to his girlfriend sitting in only one of his button down shirts.

"Where did you come from?"

"I came in with Bass a couple hours ago. You were out on a secret mission. Did you miss me?"

"You came with Bass." he repeated. He stayed where he was, even as she made her way to the foot of the bed.

"Yes. You told me we were to keep an eye on each other, right?"

"I guess you took that suggestion literally and went to Decatur with him."

"And if I did?"

"You were supposed to stay in Noblesville."

"Babe, I don't want to fight right now. Okay? Come here."

"That's not going to work." his hands were on his hips as he paced in front of her. She sighed deeply and leaned back into the mattress on her hands, stretched her legs out. "Neither is that."

"It went fine."

"I didn't want Bass going there in the first place. He told me he wasn't going and as soon as I disappeared out of sight, he was riding off there. And what the hell happened to your ankle?" the sight of her left ankle swollen and bruised had him on his knees in front of her instantly. She winced as he touched the injured area and averted his eye as he looked up at her. "What happened?"

"I fell off Lady." she muttered. "It's fine. It's just a sprain. I can walk. It doesn't really hurt."

"Does it hurt when I do this?" he skimmed his fingers lightly over the swell and she shook her head. "How about this?"

He pressed a little harder and her leg jerked. He glared at her.

"It wasn't in battle or anything. There wasn't even a battle. I was trying to dismount and my boot got caught in the stirrup." she looked a little embarrassed at the confession. "I was fine."

"Until you fell off your horse."

"That could have happened at any time. Come on, how many times have you had to help me out of the saddle?" her eyes twinkled cheerfully as he begrudgingly agreed. She was good at a lot of things but horses weren't her forte, or any of theirs for that matter. He stared up at her as his hands rubbed gently over her calves. She knew he was waiting for her to say something in regards to the mission. "It wasn't that bad. Though, the one guy was really creepy."

They had received word of a small, possibly dangerous faction on the outskirts of Decatur. Miles had wanted to leave it alone for now, as they hadn't endangered any of their people yet. Bass had disagreed and wanted to check it out just to be on the safe side. He hoped he could persuade them to join their side. The more, the merrier, and perhaps they could find a place for them in the ever growing militia.

"I didn't like the way he looked at me." she murmured. The statement caused his fingers to tighten slightly on her, a wave of jealousy and possessiveness. "It doesn't matter. Bass said none of them wanted to join up."

"I'll be having my own talk with Bass soon enough." he muttered. His eyes wandered down the length of her body, then he leaned in and brushed his mouth gently over the side of her ankle. Her fingers weaved into his hair, holding him to her as he moved up along her leg, which was now hooked over his shoulder.

A loud cough made Nora look up and she turned a bright shade of red as her eyes landed on Bass standing just inside the tent, looking away from them. She nudged Miles on the back with her heel and he quickly turned.

"Sorry to interrupt." Bass smirked, his own face turning red. "Cassidy said you wanted to see me. You should put a sign on the entrance if you plan on doing this."

"Shut up." Miles pushed himself to his feet as Nora crossed her legs and pulled the hem of the shirt down to her knees. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

She nodded silently as they disappeared out of the tent. She moved back to the head of the bed, cautious of her ankle, and slipped under the blanket. Miles returned almost forty minutes later and found her asleep. He silently cursed Bass and his bad timing, shed his clothes, and climbed in next to her.

* * *

He woke her the next morning before the sun had risen and the camp was still quiet. She moaned a little but opened her eyes to look at him.

"You better have a good reason for waking me up." she grumbled. He was looking at her with an odd expression on his face which she couldn't quite decipher so early and half awake.

"You want to be here, right?" he asked as she shut her eyes quickly. She pulled the blanket over her head with a groan, and curled her hands around it to stop him from pulling it away. In her opinion, it was too early for one of these conversations.

"When you say here, do you mean Richmond or our bed? Because, there are other cities I'd rather be in but the bed isn't so bad. I always like sleeping."

"With me."

"Yeah, I've stuck with you for two years now. Highly doubt you'll get rid of me any time soon. Are you about to launch into another one of your 'you deserve better' tirades? It's been a while, we're probably due for one."

"Marry me."

Slowly, the blanket fell back to her chest and she looked over at him with a slightly confused, but wide eyed stare. He was still staring at her with the same look on his face.

"Sorry. It was a little muffled under there. Repeat that."

"I said marry me." She thought it over for a minute, heart racing as she repeated his words in her head.

"That sounded a lot like an order General." her mouth twitched, trying to stop the smile from breaking out. "Most people usually phrase it as a question."

"Well, it's not a question."

"No it's not." one hand crept out of the blanket and found his in the darkness. "Sure. Just give me a few more hours of sleep until you whisk me off on a honeymoon."

"I'm serious."

"So am I. People don't realize the raging bitch I turn into when I don't get enough sleep."

"Nora,"

"What?"

"I'm talking about getting married."

"Yes, I'm aware that's what is meant when someone says to marry them."

"You'll be stuck with me."

"I could think of worse fates. Besides, I could always run off if I got tired of you." she propped herself up on her elbow and smiled. "You want to marry me?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Why?"

"Are we really going to do this?"

"You want to make sure I'm ready and not going to want to disappear into the sunset with the first young stud I see three years from now and regret ever laying eyes on you. Why can't I do the same?"

"It dawned on me it's been a few years and you're still around. I never thought we'd get to this point. I kept thinking that maybe one day you'd come to your senses and leave but you didn't. Then things have been crazy and I kept pushing it back, waiting for there to be a calm moment but I don't think that's going to happen. So what's the point in stalling? Seeing you last night, after being away from each other, it... I don't know. It felt good. It was stupid, we've been away from each other before but it seemed to click that you were waiting for me, that I had you to go back to after all this was over. And I will admit that hearing some guy was leering at you didn't make me too happy. I don't want anyone else to have you or want to have you. You're mine."

The last part made her laugh softly. He smirked a little, letting her know he was joking in some sense. She understood where he was coming from though because she felt the same way. She saw the way women looked at him and of course, he seemed completely unaware of the fact that he had a fan club. She wished she could say she was mature and brushed the looks and comments off but there were points where she wanted to fight for her man and let everyone know to back off. They gazed at each other as Nora's smile grew wider.

"Okay."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

* * *

"Am I even allowed to do this?"

"You're the head of the Militia."

"Technically, _you're _the head of the Militia."

"Yes, well, I can't officiate my own wedding now can I Bass? You're the leader of the tiny landmass we currently run. Government officials, judges, priests. They can all officiate. I don't see a priest around here, do you? Plus, neither of us particularly religious so that would just be hypocritical."

"You want to get married."

"Yeah. Crazy, I know."

"I thought you said you didn't."

"Obviously things have changed."

"Obviously."

They made their way through the camp to Miles's tent and entered. Nora looked up from where she was sitting on the bed and smiled brightly. A goofy grin formed on Miles's face, which made Bass roll his eyes. He was used to them together but the blatant displays of affection were rare. They usually saved that for the privacy of their room. He looked at Nora and asked, "You sure about this? You still have an opportunity to run."

"Nah, I'm good." she stood up and walked towards them.

"We could wait." Miles reminded. They had had this conversation earlier. When he had said 'marry me', he hadn't expected her to turn around and say today.

"You're here. I'm here. He's here. Nothing to wait for." as much as she had fantasized about a big, fancy wedding as a girl, she didn't care now as she stood with him. She just wanted to make it official.

"Don't you need a marriage license or something? I'm really bad at this." Bass said. Miles snorted at the statement.

"We'll write something up later. Just start." Nora ordered gently.

"Wait, hang on." Miles walked towards where his bag was stashed and began to rifle through it. He turned back to them with a small, black box in his hand. Nora gave him a questioning look but he just shook his head and looked at Bass.

"Uh, okay. You sure know how to put a guy on the spot. So, you're supposed to hold hands right? Alright, ah, dearly beloved,"

"You don't have to do all that. I'm sure none of us are going to object to us marrying." Nora interrupted.

"Who's officiating?"

"Who's getting married?"

"Fine. So no one's going to object. You two are sure about this? Yes. Okay. Are you going to be all new-age and ditch tradition and say your own vows or am I going traditional?"

"Traditional." Nora said, after looking at Miles for confirmation. She was sure he would just about die if he had to pour his feelings out in front of Bass. So the less he had to speak, the better. Though she was seriously contemplating tying him down later on and forcing him to say something romantic and sweet to her.

"Right. So, Miles Alexander Matheson,"

"Bass-"

"do you take Nora... hey, what's your middle name?"

"Anne."

"Do you take Nora Anne Clayton to be your wife? And promise to love her no matter what and thank your lucky stars each day that someone was willing to take in your sorry ass and whatever else goes along with being married?"

"This is traditional?" Miles muttered.

"Do you or don't you?"

"I do."

"Great. And Nora Anne Clayton do you take Miles Alexander Matheson to be your husband? And promise to love him even though he's going to try your patience every single day for the rest of your life and you'll try your hardest not to kill him and whatever else goes along with being married?"

"You're awful at this." Miles grunted while Nora laughed and nodded, saying, "Yeah, I do."

"Hey, it's not like you gave me time to prepare or anything."

"You've been to weddings."

"I wasn't usually paying attention during the vows part. I was scoping out potential targets. Besides, I haven't been to a wedding in the past two years. Forgive my poor memory. Stop interrupting my service too. Okay, so you said you would, she said she would. Rings next, right?"

"Here." Miles popped the top on the box he held. Inside was a platinum band with a row of diamonds set into the center of the metal and ran approximately half the band. Two thin lines weaved around the diamonds, separating them from two rows of smaller diamonds flanking it on the edge of the band.

"You don't have one." Nora pointed out.

"Yeah, I'll just run out to the nearest jeweler and be right back. I don't need one right now. It's fine."

"Well that's stupid."

"This is yours, okay? We'll find one along the way."

"Okay."

"Okay, so the ring is a token of your affection, you can give it to her." Bass waited as Miles slipped the ring onto Nora's finger. "And you have nothing to give him. Did I miss anything? I don't think so. Alright, so by the power invested in me by the great Militia-Republic thing we've got going on,"

"It's the Monroe Republic."

"We're not having this argument right now. By all the land, whatever the hell it may be called, we are in charge of, I pronounce you husband and wife. Congrats, woo hoo, you can kiss your woman. I think that was a record time. I'll leave you to it. I have offensive tactics to plan. I'll tell everyone to leave you alone so you can have married sex and yeah, that's it."

He fled as they kissed slowly. The tent flap was still waving from his abrupt exit as they pulled away from each other.

"Something tells me we may not be married." Miles muttered, making Nora laugh.

"It's the symbolic nature of it all. We're married, in my eyes, at least."

"We'll do it right and better as soon as things settle down. You can have the dress and the big wedding and the party like I know you want."

"I just want you and Bass's demented, speed officiating."

"You can admit it was bad."

"Oh yeah, there's no doubt about it. But I'm not too worried about him right now." she smiled sweetly as her arms wrapped around his neck. He smiled back at her, pulled her in close, and began to lean down to kiss her. "How did you find a ring?"

"I've had it since Chicago. Ben kept it for me, didn't think it would be useful in the blackout I guess, and left it behind. It was in the safe. It was my mom's. She told me when I found someone worth everything, not to screw it up, and let her have it."

"And it's me."

"It's you." he reaffirmed. And it was her. Even when he proposed to Emma, he had not given her his mother's ring. Perhaps even then, he knew their relationship would fail. "I love you Nora. Even if I'm going to be trying your patience for the rest of our lives."

"And I love you Miles and your sorry ass that I must now take care of."

They shared a laugh before they met in a soft kiss.


	28. Chapter 28

She was positive that this was the most excruciating pain she had ever felt. She had thought getting stabbed had been bad, giving birth had been worse, but this surpassed both beyond her wildest imagination. It wasn't just the pain that got to her. It was whatever they kept injecting into her. It messed with her head. She was hallucinating. One second, she would see Miles laying in a pool of blood, and the next he'd be gone. Alex would be huddled in the corner, visibly injured, then disappear. She could hear Charlie screaming.

The Militia officer took on a different face every once in a while. More often than not, it was Miles. Other times, it was Mia. She tried to fight it, tried to remind herself that none of it was real. None of them were in the room and Miles would never lay a hand on her. If he was there, everyone in the room would have been dead in under two minutes. He wouldn't just sit by and watch in enjoyment with Bass. But that mind frame only lasted so long. She couldn't take it anymore. She was ready to admit defeat. She had lost control quite some time ago.

"Dose her again."

She couldn't fight anymore. If they injected her one more time, she was sure it would kill her. She probably would have welcomed it just to make everything end.

"No," she was ashamed of the whimper she let out.

"I already-"

"Dose her again."

"Stop." she lifted her head weakly, saw the officer leering down at her. She couldn't get her eyes to focus. He looked like she was watching him on a TV with bad reception. Just beyond him, she thought she saw Bass. If he was real or not, she didn't know. "Bass, please."

He remained in the shadows, watching with a hard look in his eyes, and said nothing.

"Answer the question and we'll stop." the officer said quietly. "Where is Miles Matheson?"

She tried to shake her head. She wasn't going to do that to him. She would never.

"_If push came to shove, who would you choose?" _she knew it was Bass who had said those words to her but it wasn't his voice who whispered them evilly in her ear now. Nor was it Bass who clutched Alex tightly, sword at his small throat. She closed her eyes, trying to find something inside of her to make it stop. There was a small part of her that was still her, still coherent, yelling that it wasn't real. He wasn't there. No one was threatening her son. As screwed up as it all was, Bass wouldn't let that happen. But when she opened her eyes again, Alex still stood in front of her, terror in his eyes, life in peril.

"Stop." a small bead of red appeared at the blade's edge and she looked down. If she answered the question, they would leave him alone. How could she sit here and allow her baby to be hurt like that? _I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. _

"Where is Miles Matheson?"

"Some-somewhere in Atlanta."

"And Tom Neville. Is it true he is with Georgia now?"

"Yes."

"What about Rachel Matheson? Where is she?"

"Colorado."

"Colorado. Why?"

"Some place called the Tower." she dared to glance up again. Alex was gone. The officer who held him was gone. Bass wasn't in the room. She felt weak and broken.

* * *

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Annapolis, remember? Charlie was just filling me in." Jim fell into step beside Miles as they walked around the side of the building to the lot where the machinery was.

"What's going on up there?"

"The usual. They took out a few more camps, nothing major though. You would know if you came to my briefing."

"I've had other things on my mind."

"So I've heard. Charlie had a lot to say. So, let me get this straight. Your MILF-y sister-in-law flips a magic switch, gets this crap working, and we point it all towards Philly? And that's our best chance?"

"I know. Things aren't going too great, are they?"

"No they are not."

Miles leaned heavily on the front of the truck as Jim rolled his eyes and looked away. He glanced back at his friend and inhaled a deep breath.

"Any word on Nora?"

He almost seemed to jump at the sound of her name and looked up with a pathetic gaze. After a moment, he shook his head.

"We'll find her."

"They're doing a terrible job. I'm done waiting around. I'm going tonight."

"What, you're just going to go on your own? If this was fifteen years ago, you'd be that asshole who interferes with police investigations because you think you know better."

"I _do _know better. I started all of this."

"You don't even know where she is. How can we even trust what they're telling us? She might not be in Philly."

"I can't just sit here and do nothing. She- I've wasted too much time. She's- I'm just done. I'm not asking you to come with me."

"Look, I don't want to be that guy but after a while,"

"Shut up."

"I'm just making sure you're prepared if things aren't-"

"I don't need you reminding me." Miles pushed off the truck and started to walk away. His blood was practically boiling. He wasn't stupid. He knew what Nora was going through, knew there was a good possibility she was already dead or close to it. It was bad enough that was a constant thought in his head. He didn't need everyone else thinking it as well.

He was on his way around to the front of the presidential compound when he saw a Georgian officer coming towards him.

"Captain Neville asked me to find you sir. Nora Clayton was brought into the trauma wing about fifteen minutes ago."

"What?" it felt like everything suddenly froze around him. She was here. She was alive. "How?"

"A man, a John Sanborn I believe. Captain Neville took him into custody. Commander Ramsey took her in."

He moved on autopilot, not listening to the rest of the officer's explanations. Why did that name sound familiar to him? He didn't care. Not now at least. He was in the hospital wing before he realized it and found Ramsey standing in the hallway. The other man pointed silently to the trauma doors and turned back to his conversation with one of the other rebels. Miles ignored them both and entered the other room. His heart was in his throat as he scanned the wounded assembled. _Where is she? Where is- _

"General!"

His head turned towards the female nurse near the back of the room. He skirted around soldiers, doctors, and exam tables to get to the area. As soon as Nora came into his line of sight, he wasn't sure whether to be relieved or horrified. He reached her bedside and gingerly reached for her. One hand wrapped around hers and the other went to her face, stroking her cheek gently.

"Hey. Hey, it's me. Nora? Baby, c'mon, look at me." he glanced over her, unable to comprehend the injuries she had sustained. An overwhelming surge of guilt hit him. He knew she would be in a bad state, had tried to prepare himself for this, but all the planning in the world didn't matter. "Nora,"

She slowly turned towards him but didn't open her eyes. He cringed at the amount of bruising along her jaw and cheek. She frowned, ignoring his soft calls, almost as if she didn't believe it was him. She confirmed this by mumbling a soft, almost incoherent "no" that made him frown.

"Honey, look at me." he squeezed her hand lightly, trying to get her attention. "Come on, it's me. I'm right here."

Finally, her eyelids started to flutter and then opened partially. There was a dazed look in her eyes as he watched her try to focus on him.

"Hey. What happened? I've been looking everywhere for you, trying to find you." he tried to smile but failed. She blinked a few times, slowly coming to, and realized he was standing there.

"Miles," her voice was barely above a whisper but he heard the relief as she pressed her cheek further into his hand. A tear slipped down, hitting the edge of his thumb.

"Yeah, it's me." he looked over her again, unable to believe she was there in front of him. He shook a little, his guilt threatening to come spilling over like a tidal wave. This couldn't be her. The only time he had seen her more broken had been those months following Alex's disappearance. This was different though. Someone had done this to her. Someone had taken her, touched her, ruined her, and it was his fault. She was his wife. It was his job to protect her and he didn't do that. "I am so sorry."

"I'm-" she stopped, swallowing roughly, and tried again. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I am."

"No, you've got no reason to apologize babe. Okay?" he smiled faintly but she made a weak face.

"I told him. I told him everything."

"Told who what?"

"M-Monroe. I told him everything." she forced her eyes open, a few more tears falling. He stared at her in surprise, despite his suspicions that that had been where she was. "I'm sorry."

"No, shh, it's okay."

"It's not. I told him everything." she swallowed again, then let out a soft cry. "And, he, Miles, he has Alex. I saw him. He's in Philly. I-I don't know how but he was there."

His stomach plummeted at the statement. With everything going on, he hadn't given their son much thought since he was positive he was safe. For a moment he couldn't say anything but at the weak sniffle she expelled, he pulled himself together.

"Alright, it's okay. It's okay, we'll figure something out. He'll be fine." he leaned in and kissed her forehead gently. "It'll be okay. We got him once, right? We can do it again. No big deal."

"General," a female voice sounded over his head and he straightened up to face the doctor on the other side of the bed.

"You the one checking her out?"

"Yes. I'm Dr. Meyers. I haven't had a chance to do a thorough exam yet but preliminaries show nothing critical. No broken bones, she's dehydrated, severe bruising. She needs fluids, something to eat, rest. As of now, I'd say two weeks and she'll be as good as new."

"Miles,"

He looked over his shoulder at the call and saw Ramsey and Jim standing near the entrance. Charlie appeared suddenly, worming her way around the men and started towards him. Ramsey beckoned him with a wave of his hand and he turned back to Nora with a shake of his head.

"Son of a bitch." he brought his hand up to his face, felt like clawing his eyes out. It had been almost a month since he had seen her and she came back like this. He didn't want to leave her. Not after everything that had just happened. But he knew he needed to talk to Sanborn and find out what the hell happened. He wasn't going to let anyone else get a chance at him first. "Nora,"

She looked up blearily as Charlie stopped at their side, nearly out of breath.

"I'm going to be right back. Charlie's going to sit with you. Okay?" he slid his thumb over her jaw gently as she gave a weak nod. "Alright. The doctor's here too. She's going to fix you up."

He forced a small smile onto his face as he leaned down and kissed her lightly, not giving a damn that everyone was watching them. He barely touched her, not wanting to hurt her even more. She didn't respond to him. When he pulled away, her eyes were closed once more. He stood up, reluctantly let go of her hand, and turned to leave. Charlie squeezed the top of his arm as he passed, then slipped into his previous spot.

* * *

"Take it easy. I got you." he held onto her tightly as they navigated the stairs up to their suite. They were only on the third floor. It wasn't that far of a walk but given the circumstances, it was like climbing Mt. Everest.

The doctor had been reluctant to let Nora leave the hospital wing but she didn't want to be there and begged Miles to get them to let her leave. Eventually, all parties relented. There was nothing major wrong with her. The drugs had to work themselves out of her system. As long as she stayed in bed, kept hydrated, and ate, there wasn't much else they could do. Dr. Meyers agreed and said she would have herself or another doctor check on her every few hours.

"Just... give me a second." she muttered, leaning onto the side of the railing.

"No, come on," he got her to the landing between the stairs and easily picked her up.

"Miles,"

"Stop. You can barely move." he carried her the rest of the way to their suite and once inside, gently deposited her onto the edge of their bed. She swayed slightly as he crouched down in front of her, hands on her thighs. "Nora,"

She lifted her head a little to look at him. She seemed somewhat better than when he had seen her an hour ago. They pumped her with fluids and gave her pain medication. She still looked awful but at least she was coherent.

"What do you want me to do? Charlie went to get you something to eat. She should be back soon."

"You have to go."

"Not right now. I've got to wait for Foster to give the okay. Neville and Ramsey took Sanborn to her, gonna plead their case, and then she'll decide if we can go. I'm yours for at least another hour."

She stared at him, trying to process everything, and made a face as she recoiled slightly. Despite not being injected for at least a day or two, she was still having random hallucinations. She took a deep breath, then looked back to him. Whatever she had thought she had seen was gone.

"What? What's wrong?" he was looking up at her in concern. She shook her head, not wanting to get into it. It would have to stop soon and then this would just be a distant, awful memory.

"Nothing. I want to get this off and cleaned up. I feel disgusting."

"Alright." he stood himself up and moved over to the bath in the corner. He kept his eyes on her as he worked, frowning as she seemed to curl into herself. She kept her arms wrapped tightly around her torso, head down. He was never going to forgive himself for this. Sighing deeply, he dipped his hand into the water, testing the temperature, then walked back to her. "Do you want me to help you?"

After a second, she gave a small nod and let him stand her up. She leaned on his arm as she undressed, then slowly sunk into the water with a whimper. He did his best to ignore the bruises and cuts, tried to keep focused on helping her, and talked quietly to keep them both distracted.

"I think this is as good as it's going to get. Unless you plan on shedding your skin." he joked weakly after about twenty minutes. She shook her head silently, lifted a hand to push her wet curls out of her face. They gazed at each other for a moment and he sighed as he saw the tears building up. "Hey,"

She let out a sob and leaned against the side of the tub, pillowed her head in her arms, and cried. He pushed himself onto his knees and folded himself over her, face pressed into her hair. He kept one hand on the back of her head and the other on her back, rubbing as gently as possible.

"I'm sorry. Baby, I'm so sorry I didn't get to you."

"I-I tried so hard. I couldn't do-do it anymore. And I thought-I thought that you and Alex- and I just couldn't. I'm- I'm sorry."

"I know. I know. None of this is your fault."

"I told him everything. Everything."

"It doesn't matter. I don't care about any of that. I'm just glad you're here. We'll figure out the rest later on. Just relax. I'm right here."

"Miles," Charlie's muffled voice floated through the locked door. "I'm back."

"We'll be out in a second." he called back. He kissed the top of Nora's head gently and pulled away from her. She lifted her head a little, sniffling, and he cupped her face lightly, used his thumbs to brush away the tear stains. "You feel like eating a little?"

"Yeah."

"Alright. Come on," he helped her stand up and get out of the tub, then wrapped one of the large white towels around her. Once he had her sitting on the bed again, he grabbed a spare change of clothes.

"This is so embarrassing." she muttered as he helped her into the jeans.

"Babe, I'm pretty sure I've helped you through more than sponging you down and getting you dressed. Remember when you got the flu when we first settled in Philly? I can guarantee that was a thousand times worse than this."

"I feel weak."

"Stop. You're not weak." he held her arm gently as she pulled it through the tank top.

"You didn't see me in there."

"I didn't have to. You are not weak. I don't know anyone else, me included, who would have lasted that long. I don't blame you. So please do not blame yourself. Alright?"

He dipped his head to meet her eye and after a moment of intense staring, she gave a reluctant nod.

"Alright." his eyes roamed over her and he gave a half smile. "You look good as new."

"Yeah," she scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"Is everything okay?" Charlie called again, a hint of anxiety in her tone.

"God, she'll break down the door if we stay in here any longer." Miles muttered, then raised his voice, "Yeah, give us a second, would ya?"

"Sorry."

"Are you ready?" he looked down at Nora, who thought about it then shook her head no.

"Could you, could you just hold me for a second."

"I could do that." he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulled her in close to his chest, and felt her lean on him as her arms came around his waist. "I was so worried about you."

"I didn't think I'd see you again." she whispered. He tightened his hold on her and leaned his head against hers. He didn't say that he didn't think so either.

"It doesn't matter. It's over now. I've got you and when I get back from this damn tower, we're going to find Alex and move to Canada."

"I could get used to Canada."

"Sounds like a plan then." he kept his arm around her as they walked into the sitting area and met Charlie, who stood at the table with a fake, cheery smile on her face. He sat Nora down, took the seat next to her, and kept his eyes on her the entire time. Charlie took it upon herself to babble and keep the tension at bay. At one point, Nora looked to Miles and reached for his hand, not wanting to let go any time soon.


	29. Chapter 29

Nora figured she had about twenty minutes before Miles and the rest of the group took off for Colorado. He had been reluctant to leave when Ramsey came to let them know Foster had approved the mission. Nora had been more than reluctant to let him go. She wanted to ask him not to but knew that wasn't an option. He would have agreed in a heartbeat but the others needed him more than she did. The chance of success would be lowered drastically if he didn't go. The only thing he was going to do if he stayed in Atlanta would be sit and stare at her. It wasn't worth it to risk everything just because she wanted him to hold her. She could be a big girl for a few days and suck it up until he got back.

She stood in front of the mirror in the bedroom, frowning as she inspected her reflection. She didn't even want to look at herself between the bruises and the shame she felt. All of this was because of her. _No, it's not your fault. _It didn't matter how many times she or Miles repeated it, it wasn't making any impact. If she had been stronger, if she hadn't been so emotional, if she had lied, Bass wouldn't know anything about the Tower. Bass. Her eyes narrowed in anger at the mere thought of her old friend.

She tied off the end of her braid and turned to pack a bag. She wasn't staying behind. She knew she was supposed to and definitely needed to but she couldn't sit back and do nothing for three reasons. One, this was her fault and she was going to fix it. She didn't care about Rachel but they needed her to get the power back on and in the back of her head, she thought of Alex and remembered her promise to him. Two, she wanted the chance to get her vengeance on Bass. Three, she didn't want to be without Miles again.

She was almost out of the suite when she felt the dizziness overcome her. She leaned heavily on the door frame, waiting for it to pass. _Come on Clayton. Get your ass in gear. You've fought in far worse conditions and made it through. You need to do this. _She inhaled a deep breath, then forced herself to keep moving.

* * *

"Nora. Nora,"

She snapped back to reality as she heard Miles's voice and quickly turned to look at him. He was walking towards her slowly, a concerned frown on his face.

"Maybe you should stay here." he had enough sense to word it as a suggestion rather than an order but she wasn't following either anyway.

"I told you I'm okay."

"You've been back, at the most, what, five, six hours? I shouldn't even have you out here. You're supposed to be resting, not running on fumes."

"I rested on the ride."

"It was two hours."

"Well, whether you like it or not, I'm here." she snapped. "I think I know myself better than you do. I know I can do this."

His hands fell to his hips as he observed her. Contrary to her belief, he did know her better. He could tell she was just barely keeping it together as it was but she was also determined and stubborn enough to force herself to keep going.

"Then come with me at least."

"No, we won't cover enough ground." she looked up at him with a mixed expression of irritation and gratitude, a hard feat to pull off. He knew what it meant though. She was glad he was being overprotective but didn't want it, at least not for the moment. "I don't need you coddling me."

"And I don't need you getting into trouble out there."

"I can manage a half hour on my own. I'll meet you back here."

"You're not going to give up." it wasn't a question but an aggravated observation.

"When have I ever?"

"Babe, I don't know what you think you need to prove-"

"I need to prove that I'm not weak and I'm not going to let him control my life. I won't be locked up in some gilded cage back in Atlanta."

"You would just blow your way out if I tried that. You're not weak. And Bass isn't here. These are people who care about you. They're not going to look down on you for needing more than fifteen minutes to recover."

"I will see you back here." she rubbed her hand over his arm, then bent down to grab the gas can, and turned away from him. He watched until she disappeared behind an old Humvee, then started to follow. He kept her in his line of sight for about fifteen minutes, until he was satisfied that she would be okay.

She knew he was following her. On one hand, she was grateful and felt bad for her reaction. She shouldn't have been giving him problems after everything that had transpired over the last month. She understood his anxiety in letting her go off because she had plenty of her own. But like she said, he couldn't coddle her and she wasn't going to hide and cower away as much as she wanted to. That simply wasn't her. It was time to pick up and keep moving. There would be plenty of time to deal with the fallout from her captivity after they finished this.

At some point, she glanced back and realized she was alone. He must have decided she didn't need a second shadow and actually gone to find fuel. She was partially relieved and sad at the same time but pushed the feeling away. The others needed him more than she did, that's all she had to keep reminding herself. Plus, she was doing just fine. That was until she was kneeling down beside a helicopter, waiting as the fuel drained into the can. At first, she didn't think anything was amiss.

A pair of footsteps sounded somewhere in front of her and her head jerked up quickly, causing her to get dizzy. Her heart was pounding as she looked between the vehicles to see no one around. She shook her head, told herself to keep calm and not freak out. She knew this was going to happen. Her attention was drawn back to the helicopter and she pulled the tube from the gas tank. She started to walk towards the next airstrip when she heard the footsteps ahead again. They were too light to be Miles, or any of the other guys for that matter.

"Charlie?" she detoured off the path and wound up between two large dump trucks. "Are you over here?"

She bent down, trying to peer underneath the trucks for any sign of another person, but saw nothing. She was starting to straighten up when she saw a shadow move rapidly at her side.

"Mommy!" she dropped the gas can as she heard Alex yell. _It's not real. It's not real. _But it sounded real. Another shadow up ahead. Another cry. Her breathing turned shallow as her head whipped around. She was losing her control. _This isn't real. What would he be doing out in the middle of an abandoned base? Be rational. _Gravel crunched behind her, causing her to spin around. The footsteps were heavier this time.

"Miles?" she started to head towards the front of the trucks. When she reached the plank leaning against the side of the truck, she saw a flash of green rush by the gap between the vehicles. The color instantly called forth the image of the Militia uniforms in her head. Her hand blindly reached for the knife at her thigh.

"Mommy!" Alex's insistent calls were coming from her left and she turned again. _Why are you looking? There's no one there. _Still, she started to walk in that direction. She would just look around and prove to herself no one was there. "Mommy, please!"

It felt like a panic attack. Despite being out in the open air, it seemed as though everything was closing in around her. Her hearing seemed like she had been plunged into water and her vision was swimming, unable to make out anything clearly enough. It was getting harder to breathe and think. What was she doing out here to begin with? That was her last coherent thought as she stumbled forward and landed on the ground unconscious.

* * *

"Where's Nora?"

It was like being hit by a train at full speed. He had been so worried about her but decided to trust her judgment, even if his didn't agree. Then, he became distracted by the pilot's murder, the sabotage of the chopper, and now Ramsey's murder, that his mind got preoccupied. Now, he was cursing himself.

"Where the hell is Nora?" he scanned each of their faces quickly, intending to pick up some slight sign of guilt at carving out her throat. No one said a word or even hinted that they had something to do with her disappearance. "Alright, first thing's first."

They entered the nearest hangar as he mentally berated himself. This was his fault. He knew she wasn't up to this and he still let her come, still let her wander off on her own. Part of him told himself it didn't matter. Even on her best day, his wife would not willingly sit out on the sidelines. He could rant, rave, and tie her to a chair all he wanted and she would still get her own way whether it was through conning him or weaseling her way out. He couldn't stop her.

_But you could follow her. Instead, you turned around and let her go. Who does that? What is wrong with you? You let her run off after the drone strike, you didn't try hard enough to find her, you were planning to up and leave her for some suicide mission after Rachel, you let her come along, and now go off by herself half dead. Keep racking up those Husband of the Year points Matheson. You're doing a fantastic job. _

He told himself she had probably gotten lost or didn't realize how long it had been. Maybe she was back at the helicopter now and wondering what the hell was going on. _Or she's dead. You brought this on her. _

He gritted his teeth as he made his way back to the helicopter. If she wasn't there, he would retrace her footsteps and figure out where she went from there. Could she overpower Neville, who was the prime suspect in Miles's mind? Maybe on a good day. Today? Extremely doubtful. If it was Sanborn, he liked to think she could take the scientist down even on a bad day. _Unless he shot her up with another one of those mixes. _

After what felt like years, he spotted her between the trucks. His chest tightened in fear as he ducked under the truck bed to get to her. For a moment, he was paralyzed as he stared down at her unconscious form. The sickening image of her throat slashed filled his mind and he almost vomited right there. Was this how it was going to end? After nearly losing her to Bass, she was going to die here just hours after getting her back? It would be a cruel twist of fate for sure. _One brought on by your own negligence. _He shook those thoughts off and steadied himself. Standing there staring at her was not going to give him any answers. After a deep breath, he grabbed her gently by the arm and rolled her over, then nearly wept in relief as he saw her throat intact.

"Nora," he cupped her face gently, felt her pulse against the edge of his palm, and sent a silent thank you to whatever or whoever was listening. "Baby,"

She jerked awake then, startled, and stared at him with fear that quickly melted into confusion.

"Hey, it's me. Where've you been?"

"Miles? What happened?"

"You tell me." he frowned as he saw her wrist bleeding and reached into his pocket for the torn rag he had stowed earlier.

"I don't know." she shook her head slightly. "I was heading out to get fuel, then I blacked out."

She frowned as she tried to recall what she was doing. Her thoughts were a jumbled mess and she could barely make anything out. The feel of Miles's fingers smoothing over her injured wrist caught her attention.

"You're cut. How'd that happen?" he asked. She stared at her wrist, then looked at him with a bewildered gaze.

"I don't remember." she looked frightened at the idea and shook her head a little. He stared down at her in concern, then slowly sat her up.

"Alright, come on." they sat there for a moment, allowing her to regain her senses. "You think you can walk?"

"I think you like looking for excuses to carry me." she muttered. The sass made him smirk slightly. It was a sign that she wasn't seriously harmed in any way. "How long has it been?"

"I don't know. An hour, hour and a half maybe. You scared the shit out of me." he helped her stand, kept a hand around her arm as she wobbled momentarily. "You good?"

"Yeah." she gave a short nod. He lowered his hand and wrapped his fingers protectively around hers as they started to walk. "Babe, I'm sorry."

"It's fine."

"No, it's not." she was right. They both knew it but he wasn't about to berate her when he thought she was dead five minutes ago.

"Nora, forget about it. Alright? Let's just get back to the others." he glanced back at the trucks as they walked back out into the open. "What were you doing back there?"

She looked back as well, frowning as she tried to remember, then said, "I thought I heard someone. I think."

"Who?"

"I don't know. I couldn't see. I just... I remember hearing people. That was when I blacked out." she looked up at him and frowned in confusion as she saw the deep frown on his face. "Why?"

"Ramsey and the pilot are dead. Throats were cut."

"Who-who would do that?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out. Are you sure you didn't see anyone?" his eyes flicked to her wrist. "Maybe you fought them off?"

"No. I don't know. I'd remember something like that, wouldn't I?"

He shrugged, shaking his head in uncertainty. He didn't know what the hell was going on at this point. Except he wouldn't put it past Neville to try and harm them and Sanborn definitely would never make any list of trustworthy people, even if he did spring Nora from Philly. Charlie wasn't even a concern in his mind. Jason was too stupid and too loyal to Charlie to try and mess anything up. Jim was loyal to them. It never occurred to him to suspect his wife. In fact, the first time the idea came was when Neville suggested it when they returned to the hangar.

They all watched as he sat her down and gave her a water bottle from his pack. She took a few sips before setting it on the ground next to her and wrapped her arms around her torso. They were silent as Miles explained what had happened.

"Let me get this straight. You found Mamacita with a knife, passed out with a bloody arm." Neville paced in front of her and she fought the urge to curl further in on herself.

"She cut it when she fell."

"Okay. Or one of the men she killed managed to get a slice in on the way down."

"Okay, back off, alright?" Miles moved from Nora's side, feeling his defensive urge kick in. Neville gave him a look, as if to say, _really, we're all suspects but her? Try using the upstairs brain, would you? _

"This is what I tried to warn you. The cocktail that she's on-"

"You mean the cocktail you gave her?" he snapped at Sanborn, hands curling into fists. He was literally seeing red right now. All his fear and frustration was going to come bursting out in the worst possible way if one of them said one more word. He had screwed up a lot the past few weeks but he'd be damned if he allowed them to drag her through a witch hunt because one of them felt the need to take advantage of her.

"It can cause paranoia, hallucinations, psychotic behavior. It is at least possible that it's her." the list of symptoms caused Nora's stomach to clench uncomfortably. She definitely had the paranoia. She was feeling it right now as she felt everyone staring at her, ready to pounce. That panic attack feeling from before was starting again. Hallucinations- her memory was still fuzzy but for some odd reason, she thought of Alex and couldn't figure out why for the life of her. She closed her eyes momentarily, had a flash of running through the trucks, hearing him crying.

"Well it's possible it's you." Miles flung a hand at him in an irritated gesture. Sanborn rolled his eyes, _give me a break_, as Miles turned his attention to the rest of the group. His eyes landed on Jim, looking at him for help. He was one of their oldest friends, he wasn't going to turn his back on them now. He knew exactly the type of person Nora was.

"You're not listening to any of this."

"I don't know what to think." he shook his head, shrugging slightly. His lack of confidence in her was just one more blow. Nora exhaled a shaky breath, rocking slightly. _Bass isn't here. These are people who care about you. _She almost let out a desperate laugh as Miles's words from earlier filtered to the front of her brain. Yes, they cared so much that they were looking at her like she had just risen from the pits of Hell. The only one who cared was Charlie, who looked ready to join Miles in bashing everyone's heads together.

It felt like they were cornered- them against everyone else. She could feel the tension in the room, felt Miles's desperation and anxiety close to exploding, his urge to protect her and kill anyone who tried to inhibit that. But more than anything, she felt her own insecurities. She was weak right now and all the evidence pointed to her. She always prided herself on being rational. How could she go against that now?

"She didn't do it!" he exclaimed in frustration.

"Miles," she was speaking before she even realized it. Her voice broke slightly as her breathing quickened. He turned to look at her and she met his eye tearfully. "I think they're right."

"Nora-"

"I strangled that guy and I don't remember doing it." she looked away, remembering the interrogator back at the cell, and the shock and surprise she felt as she realized she was kneeling over his dead body. "What if I did this too?"

"Look at me." he knelt down to her, grabbed her leg roughly. He wasn't going to let her to do this to herself. This was Nora- the girl who had sobbed over her first kill, had taken years to build up her confidence in a battle or making a bomb, and even then had to reassure herself that she was doing this for the right reasons. She hated killing. She would avoid it if possible but unfortunately it was part of the job. She accepted it as something that had to be done. It wasn't enjoyable for her. She wasn't going to just start slitting people's throats open left and right, especially people she trusted and worked with. He didn't care if she was still drugged. He refused to believe that she would turn into some mindless zombie and not give a second thought to her actions. "I know you. If there's anyone I trust, anybody, it's you."

"I broke Miles. They broke _me. _I told Monroe everything. How could you possibly trust me?"

He felt ridiculous that he had to say this to her. They stared at each other and he tried to force all his thoughts at her through one simple look. They were in this together. He wasn't going to turn his back on her or feed her to the dogs. She was crazy if she thought otherwise. They had been through hell together. She had always been at his side, even when Bass hadn't. Who could he trust, if he couldn't trust his wife?

"I thought I could handle this, but I was wrong." she shook her head a little. Now they had gotten to the root of the problem. She couldn't trust herself. He knew she was shouldering an enormous amount of guilt right now, despite everything he said, and he didn't know how to rid her of that. He wouldn't understand it and she wouldn't understand his insistence otherwise.

"She's right you know." Neville's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He looked up at Nora once more, fought to wipe the tears off her face- he knew she was completely gone when she cried in front of other people, and turned around. "She's a risk to us all."

"Shut up Tom."

"Look, everyone is thinking it. Even that sweet little niece of yours."

"And what if it was you?" he walked directly to the other man, glaring down at him. He was done playing games. Whoever had done this had no idea the fury that he would unleash on them. Betraying your friends and colleagues was enough in itself. The sight of Nora in tears, fully believing she was responsible, only added to it. He wasn't going to allow the real murderer to get away with this and let her crumble even further. She didn't need this on top of everything else and he was going to prove to her that she was still the person he knew she was.

* * *

She was worried about him. It took everything she had to keep working on the helicopter. It had been twenty minutes since Neville had returned and told them Sanborn was dead and Jason had killed Jim. She hadn't seen Miles since. Neville, Charlie, and Jason had gone to grab what they could by way of supplies and she had turned her attention to fixing the helicopter. She knew he needed some time alone before they finished the rest of the trip to the Tower. That was the only reason why she hadn't gone to try and find him. He would come back when he was ready and she also knew he wasn't going to waste any more time than necessary.

Another ten minutes and she heard him walking up behind her. She squinted up at him in the dying sunlight, scanned the bruises and dried blood he hadn't managed to clean off.

"You look terrible."

"I appreciate that."

She smiled slightly as she twisted a few wires together. There was a moment of silence between them, then she looked up again.

"Thank you for backing me up today." she said softly. He frowned as he looked down at her. Was that a serious statement? He stared for a second, trying to decide if it was or not. Her somber expression told him it was.

"Why are you thanking me?"

"You could have believed them."

"Do you honestly think I would have?"

"No."

"Then this conversation is pretty redundant. I wasn't going to let him use you as a scapegoat."

"What if it was me?"

"You could have had the knife to my throat and I still would have defended you." he flashed a quick smile at her, making her laugh softly. She replaced the wires, shut the hood, and turned to him completely. She pulled him into a hug and put her head on his shoulder. His arms came around her and held tightly.

"Still, thanks."

"That's why I'm here right? Same thing you're always telling me. Just kind of odd to see you be the one lacking faith." he muttered.

"He let them know where the camp was and where Alex was, didn't he?" she asked quietly. She felt him nod silently in response. "Are you okay?"

"I guess I had it coming, after everything I did to him." he replied after a moment. He tried to brush it off but she knew he was hurting. She was hurting too. Besides Charlie, Jim would have been the last person she would have suspected. She lifted her head at that point and met his eye. She saw him glance around, making sure there was still no one around, then backed her gently against the chopper and kissed her slowly. It was short lived as Charlie walked up behind them. She flashed an awkward grin at them as they separated. Miles cleared his throat, slightly embarrassed, and Nora blushed a little. She put a gentle hand on his chest, straightened his jacket, and gave a small smile.

"Are you really going to fly this thing?"

"Maybe. Did you actually fix it?"

"Maybe." there was a faint twinkle in her eye as the corner of her mouth lifted in a grin. It made him want to smile. Even if it was just a small flash of her usual self, it was enough to keep him going. It was also a reminder of how close he had come to losing her and a frown formed as the familiar ache of sadness settled inside of him. She realized this and put her hand softly on his cheek to comfort him. "Come on, let's see if this worked."


	30. Chapter 30

**September 2017- Five Years After the Blackout**

She glanced at the grandfather clock as it chimed in the dining room. Nine o'clock. Her eyes wander to the smashed plates and overturned food at the end of the long table, then back to the maps and reports she was looking over. With the Trenton campaign only weeks away, she had to busy herself with preparing for the assignment she had been given.

From the front of the house, she could hear the door slam shut softly, alerting her senses that someone else was about to join her. If it was Miles, he was a dead man.

"Hey." he grunted as he slipped into the dining room, barely looking at her as he entered. He headed straight for the liquor cabinet against the far wall. She watched him silently, eyes narrowed, as he walked. His eyes landed on the mess at the end, eyebrows twitched in amusement, then poured himself a drink. "Do you want one?"

"Nope." she popped the p at the end of the word, adding just the right amount of attitude. Not that it would make a difference or get through her husband's thick skull. Indeed, he hardly acknowledged her irritation. He turned and leaned against the front of the cabinet, swirling the bourbon around in the glass. His eyes fell once more to the ruined dinner, then back to her. She kept her head down over the map. One finger trailed across New Jersey and her right hand made notations on a notepad with a pencil.

"Did the cook screw up your food again?"

"Oh that's not mine." now she looked up at him, a sickeningly sweet smile in place. "It's yours. Watch out for shards of glass."

She caught him off guard. It was rare she did that anymore and it was even more rare that he let it be known but she saw the faint surprise in his face before he masked it with a stoic gaze.

"Cute." he muttered, taking a long sip from the glass. Her smile turned into a smirk as she turned her focus back to her work. She hoped she looked indifferent to him even though inside, her heart felt like it was shattering into a million pieces over again. He let out a loud, irritated sigh, intended to catch her attention but she wasn't going to be baited by him. Let him do the work for once. "Is this one of those moments where you want me to play into your bitch routine and listen to you whine? Because if it is, I need more of a warning than a hissy fit and spilled food."

"I'm sorry. Next time, I'll make a giant sign for you. Maybe then you'll be able to understand."

"What the hell did I do? Are you PMSing?"

"No! And even if I was, that's not the reason." she threw the pencil onto the table in frustration and stood up from the chair.

"What is the reason?"

"What does it matter? You're not going to fucking listen to me. You haven't listened to me in quite some time."

"So it's my fault, I take it."

"It sure as hell isn't mine."

"Right. Everything is always my fault." he slammed the glass onto the top of the cabinet, sloshing alcohol over the side.

"Recently, yeah, it has been."

They launched into their argument like it was routine. In a way, she guessed it was. Two and a half years of marriage and over four years of being together led to these moments. It was a part of life. She understood this, had tried to be patient. However, there was only so much patience one could have in regards to Miles Matheson.

She knew it the stress he was under. Miles didn't take well to stress or loss or much of anything he didn't like to be quite honest. When he was in a mood, they all suffered. She had known this from the start. She hadn't held it against him. Some people simply didn't like being nurtured or comforted. He would come out of his funk on his own and things would go back to normal. This was what happened. He would become closed off, ignore them- especially her, and then suddenly was sheepish and apologetic. They weren't rare but they weren't frequent either. It was easy to deal with them, could even see them coming a mile away.

It was after they eloped and the Republic began to really pick up speed that things seemed to be going downhill. At first, she was worried it was her. Maybe he had changed his mind and really didn't want to be married at all. Then she recognized the pattern and told herself to knock it off. He loved her. When he wasn't in that fog, he practically worshiped her. She put up with it, was as supportive as she could be, and was rewarded when he realized she had stuck through another one of his episodes.

Over the past year they had settled in Philly and were slowly branching out north and south of the city. She watched, often without complaint, as he fell further into the tyrannical rut he had found. After all, she continuously played her part in it all. She was just as much at fault as he and Bass were. She knew he felt he needed to force the gruff exterior in order to gain respect and have control. She respected that even though it hurt badly as he pulled away from her. Recently, it felt like those periods were lasting longer, his behavior was getting worse, and she had no idea what to do anymore. Either he wasn't around or they fought. There was only so much heartache and drunken apologies she could take.

She tried to reach out to him. That morning, she had forced herself awake before he could leave the house, insistent that they talk. She asked that he be home at seven if it was possible, she would make dinner, and they'd have a nice night together before all the madness in Trenton started. He shrugged, said not to count on it. She continue to persist and at his glare, relented and told him if he couldn't, at least send a messenger so she wasn't waiting around for him. He had done neither and her anger had got the best of her, which was why his dinner was currently mashed into the tabletop.

The sound of glass breaking against the wall seemed to snap both of them out of their anger. Her eyes widened in surprise as she looked at him ducking to the side, staring at her like he had never seen her before. She glanced at her hand. Had she really just chucked the vase at his head? She didn't even realize she had reached for it.

"I'm sorry." she sunk into the nearest chair, numbed to the core. What the hell was happening to them? Tears were threatening to build but she swallowed and pushed them aside.

"If you're so fucking unhappy, then just leave." he snarled at her. "You're not a prisoner here Nora. You want to go, go. I won't stop you."

"This is exactly what I'm talking about! It's like you don't care or don't realize what you're doing."

"I'm not the one who just tried to decapitate someone else with a vase!"

"I'm sorry! But do you honestly think that that's the only way to hurt someone? It doesn't matter to you what happens to me. Half the time I feel like I don't even know you. I try so hard, so goddamn hard to make you happy and ask for nothing in return and you constantly throw that in my face. I know things are rough out there and you and Bass have a lot on your plates but it's not fair to come in here and punish me because of it. Did you ever think it wouldn't be so hard if you left all your problems at the door when you got home? Or, here's a novel idea, you actually talk about it? Why is it so hard for you to voice your emotions? That's why I'm here! I hate seeing you like this. I hate seeing you suffer when there's no reason to be. This isn't you. I miss _you._"

He said nothing as he leaned on the back of the chair, hands clenching the wood so hard his fingers turned white. A tear slipped down her cheek as she watched him.

"Or, or is it that you don't want to be with me? That you're doing this on purpose to push me away? If that's the case, say it to my face. I won't waste anymore of your time and I sure as hell won't waste any of mine." she laughed bitterly, "God, I could only imagine what it would be like to have someone who actually appreciated me."

"When you find him, I hope you're very happy." those were his parting words as he stormed out of the dining room, down the hallway, and back out of their home. The sound of the door slamming was akin to a clap of thunder and made her jump. She sat there, almost in a daze, as the consequences of their fight began to sink in. She was crying before she realized it and by the time she made it up to their bedroom, she was a wreck. She fell onto their bed without changing and pressed her face into her pillow, trying desperately to make herself stop.

* * *

She couldn't fall asleep. She lay on her side, clutching a spare pillow to her chest, and stared at the sliver of moonlight peeking through the drapes. Part of her wondered where he was. She had no idea what time it was. It could have been thirty minutes or three hours. He wasn't home, she knew that much. He was probably with Bass or passed out at a bar.

She shut her eyes when she heard the door open downstairs. He probably wouldn't even come up. There were plenty of rooms to choose from. They could avoid each other if they wanted to. She heard him come up the stairs, then into their room, but kept her eyes closed. He would leave her alone if he thought she was sleeping. He would leave her alone even if he thought she was awake. A rogue tear fell as she listened to him move around their room, kicking off his boots and undressing. The bed squeaked as he lowered himself down next to her and she felt his hand on her arm and his mouth close to her ear.

He placed a soft kiss there as he mumbled an apology. Despite her best efforts, she sniffed quietly and shook a little from trying to hold back another round of cries.

"No, baby, I'm sorry." he pulled on her arm gently to roll her over. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

She could smell the alcohol on him but knew he wasn't drunk. Buzzed, yes, but it would take a ridiculous amount of booze to actually get him drunk these days.

"Stop it."

"No," he kissed her face gently, wiping away tears, and brushed her hair out of her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Just leave me alone. Please leave me alone." she didn't need this. This was how it always happened. They'd argue, he'd apologize, then they'd make love. She was tired of it. She couldn't fight anymore. How many times could she go through this before it finally took its toll?

"I love you." he mumbled against her lips. Her hands were on his chest, ready to push him away but instead, she curled her fingers into the fabric of his shirt and pulled him closer. She felt herself reacting to him, wanting him. That's all she wanted. She wanted him back. She let out a low cry of self-hatred, knowing she would succumb to him again. How could she not, with him being so sweet and tender towards her?

* * *

She woke up to the smell of eggs, bacon, and toast. The sun was shining brightly through the windows when she opened her eyes. His side of the bed was empty. She was mad at herself. They weren't going to get anywhere if they stayed in this cycle they had created. She climbed out of bed with a sigh and grabbed her robe off the back of the door. She tightened the belt as she walked downstairs and found him in the kitchen. Bacon was sizzling on the wood-burning stove and a pile of toast waited on the counter next to him. He lifted his head from the reports he was reading when he heard her footsteps approach.

"I was wondering when you would wake up." he smiled. She said nothing, deciding to observe the room in silence. He watched her for another moment, then straightened up and moved towards her. She didn't stop him as he gripped her hips gently and pulled her into a slow, sweet kiss. "Good morning, or good afternoon rather. It's a little past noon."

"Why are you here?"

"I'm not going in until later. Things will survive without me for the moment."

"We're days away from a major campaign. You don't have time to mess around." she pulled out of his hold and went to the stove, stirred the eggs so they didn't stick to the pan.

"I'm not messing around." he walked up behind her, slipped his arms around her waist, and she turned, elbowing him in the process.

"Will you stop?"

"What?"

"Trying to act like things are okay."

"Last night-"

"Was a mistake." she finished. His face changed then, morphing into confusion, and he dropped his hands from her.

"I know you're upset but-"

"But nothing." she put her hand gently on his arm to push him aside and walked around him.

"Nora, come on."

"What?" she turned as she hit the doorway and looked at him, a sad expression in her eyes. "What do you want me to do? Please tell me because I don't know anymore."

When he said nothing, she shook her head and rubbed her hands over her face. When she pulled them away, tears were glistening in her eyes. She had never considered herself a crier but she had wasted so many tears over this man.

"I don't think you do either." she added quietly. "We keep doing this, over and over, and- when is it going to stop?"

"I'm trying." he gestured around the kitchen, as though the fact that he had comforted her and made her breakfast negated everything else he had done.

"For how long? A month, two? Maybe a couple weeks this time. It seems like the time in between gets shorter every time. I used to tell myself that this was just you and if I loved you enough, I'd accept your faults and for a long time I did that. But you have no idea how much it hurts me when you pull these stupid stunts. I wait for you, I do everything in my power to be here for you, hoping you're going to come to your senses. It- it feels like I'm trying to reel in a fish, honest to God it does. I fight and fight and finally start to get you, then at the last minute you jump back. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how much longer I can do this."

"So," he paused, licked at his lower lip, eyes locked on hers, "what are you saying? You want to end this?"

"I don't know." she shook her head. "I don't know what I want anymore. I'm not happy though. I love you, I do, but I don't know if that's enough anymore."

She stared down at her feet, tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, and fidgeted. He was silent, unable to take his gaze from her. He had clenched his jaw so tight it was beginning to hurt.

"I feel like I'm not getting anything out of this. I put everything into our relationship and you take it for granted. I'm only good enough when you decide I'm worth your time. You expect me to always be there, just waiting to get called in from the sidelines."

"That's not true. I love you."

"How do I know that? You think that by saying that and apologizing and promising things are going to be different this time, that it fixes things. I don't believe a lot of what you've said recently because I know you. I know it will last a couple days, then I'm left holding all the pieces wondering what the hell happened." she looked up again as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Maybe it'd be a good idea if we spent some time apart. Once everything's finished with Trenton, then we'll see where we stand."

He stared intently at her, as if trying to figure out if she was serious or not. Finally, he nodded in agreement.

"Fine. If it's what you want."

"I don't want it but I think we need it."

"Fine." he repeated as he walked out of the room and she heard him go upstairs. About fifteen minutes later, he returned with a bag slung over his shoulder. He moved to the counter, collected the reports he had been reading, and stuffed them without concern into one of the pockets. She stood in the doorway still, frozen in the same position from before. She chewed on her lip as she watched him. He stopped next to her as he went to leave and pressed a kiss against the top of her head. Tears immediately sprung into the corners of her eyes.

"You're not going to fight me?" she called hoarsely. He stopped at the door, glanced back at her, and shook his head.

"Why bother? You just said you don't believe anything I say. I'll see you around."

The door shut with a soft click and she slumped against the wall. She felt completely lost and had no idea what to do with herself. If it hadn't been for the eggs burning, she was sure she would have stayed there all day.

She spent the rest of the day in a fog, wandering from room to room and feeling depressed. This was supposed to make things better but it only felt worse. Eventually, she curled up in bed with a battered copy of _The Great Gatsby_. This fueled her sadness, remembering way back when they were still in that house in Lexington, they had had their first true conversation over the book. She told herself to stop moping. Maybe a break would be exactly what they needed. _Or this is the end of your relationship. _She burrowed further into the mound of pillows and folded the page she was on. The book was tossed onto the mattress next to her and she rolled onto her side, pressed her face against his pillow as she tried to ignore the images of a Miles-less life that filtered through her head. _He's going to come back. He's not going to be able to stay away. _


	31. Chapter 31

**September 2017- Five Years After the Blackout**

Unable to concentrate and beyond frustrated, Miles tossed the pencil onto his desk, and leaned back into his chair with a deep sigh. He tipped his head against his hand, replaying the last conversation he had had with Nora over in his mind. He knew at that moment in time, she was serious, but thought she would be running right behind him to Independence Hall. Her emotions were running high. Once she calmed down, she would see how ridiculous she was acting. Their fights never lasted long, even though they were frequent. Eventually, she would cave. He didn't let it bother him.

By the end of the second night, when she still hadn't showed up, he got angry. He had done nothing to her. He didn't hit her, didn't yell-well, maybe he did yell, a lot. But it wasn't at her specifically. He was just yelling in general. He was trying to run a militia, it took up a lot of time. If anything, she was in the wrong here by not being supportive and expecting him to drop everything for her. She was the selfish one. Also, he had never been completely open towards her either. Did she expect him to change just because he turned out not to be who she wanted?

Now, close to the end of the fifth night of their separation, he was sure he was some kind of asshole. He had time to sit down, rethink things, and could not rid himself of Nora's distraught, watery expression. She was not the Nora he had come to know. He had thought that weak, emotional aspect of her had been stamped out as time went on and he trained her into the sleek warrior she was now. There were still bouts of her cheerfulness but more often than not, she was just as cold and calculated as he was. But as he thought about it, he realized he was wrong. She was still able to switch that aspect on and off. When they were on a campaign or were looking for someone, she allowed her focus to be solely on her work. In their down time, she was still the same woman he had met in Kentucky.

He knew he never mastered the ability to separate his duty from his home life. He was dedicated to the point of obsession and would do whatever it took to accomplish his goals. Now, that was more true than ever. The Republic wasn't just a duty or work. It was his life. There were only three things that seemed to matter anymore and that was the Republic, Bass, and Nora. With a sickening feeling in his stomach, he realized the amount of importance bestowed to each was in that order as well. _I'm only good enough when you decide I'm worth your time. You expect me to always be there, just waiting to get called in from the sidelines. _

He had argued, said no not true, I love you, blah blah. There had been no emotion behind his words or any of his actions that morning. Everything he had said and done was because he knew it was what she wanted, not because he wanted to. He hadn't wanted to appease her. He wanted her to stick around for when he felt he wanted her. He was only doing what benefited himself, not her. He should have done things differently and said what he actually meant. It was only now that he realized he had no idea what he wanted to say.

She had been right about everything. He did take her for granted. He allowed himself to get so caught up in the Republic that he let everything else fade away. It was only when he realized she was there, that his brain seemed to make the connection. _You have a wife. You should go to her. _He didn't spend days away from her, longing to see her again. It had been quite some time since he had felt that. He felt it right now, along with the fear that if he didn't act soon he was going to lose her. It dawned on him that he not only wanted her but he needed her.

He reached for the bottle on his desk, then slumped back into the chair. How the hell had he managed to let everything get so screwed up? He remembered those first few months on the road together, when their relationship had barely started, and tried to conjure the emotion he had felt then. It came easily and he roughly swallowed a mouthful of whiskey. He was disgusted with himself. He had cared so much then, constantly worried he was going to hurt her or she would leave, and swore he'd do everything he could to not let that happen. Yet, here they were.

He had to fix it but he didn't know what to do. The memory of the hurt, defeated expression on her face haunted him. He had done this to her. He was breaking whatever bond was left between them to the point she couldn't face him anymore. _I don't believe a lot of what you've said recently because I know you. _What was he supposed to do in order to reverse that? He wasn't even sure he could do anything. He knew her, knew how stubborn and determined she could be sometimes. If she didn't want to see him, he was not getting within ten feet of her. He would have to wait until after they were finished in Trenton. If he wanted to do this right, he was going to have to play by her rules. He didn't think he was going to last that long.

* * *

Much to his surprise, he did. It had been difficult, especially since he needed updates on how her work was going and needed to keep her informed of what was happening but ultimately, he sent Jeremy in his place. The final message he had sent over the night before the campaign was to be at the Militia stables by 5AM because they were leaving at 6AM sharp. The rapidly blackening eye Jeremy returned with confused Miles, as he was sure his message had been neutral and should have caused no problems.

"She's got quite the right hook on her."

"What did you do to piss her off?"

"I gave her your message. Maybe the punch was meant for you and in her anger, she forgot it was me standing there."

"I didn't do anything."

"Oh. I probably shouldn't have relayed it with my interpretive spin on things, huh?"

"You didn't have to relay anything. I gave you a handwritten note. What the hell did you do?"

"Nothing. Well, not really." Jeremy was out the door before Miles had a chance to possibly give him the matching black eye. He stood behind his desk, pissed and a little terrified at the kind of mood he was going to find her in the next morning. He also wondered how many other interpretive spins he had given during the two weeks. _That's what you get for letting Jeremy play messenger. _

Whatever Jeremy may or may not have said, it didn't seem to have a major effect on Nora. She was at the stables before Miles was, which had been some time around 4:30. He hesitated in the doorway as he saw her at Lady's stall, cooing softly to the mare as she stroked her nose. His eyes roamed over her. She wasn't an official member of the Militia, more of a contracted help, and did not need to adhere to uniform rules. Instead she wore knee-high boots, dark jeans and a black long sleeved shirt. It was a practical outfit, yet seemed to show off every curve she had, and served to remind him how much he missed her physically and emotionally.

There was no way to avoid her, especially since Bond lived in the next stall. Gathering all the confidence he could find, he walked the rest of the way into the stable but lingered near Bass's mare. Scarlett poked her head out of the stall, sniffed at his shoulder, then stepped back when she realized he wasn't Bass.

"Hey." he kept his voice quiet and shoved his hands into his pockets as Nora lifted her head and looked at him. Neither of them moved towards each other or gave any sign showing they were happy to see each other. In fact, Miles felt it was the most awkward they had been with each other since the first time they had kissed. He took a deep breath and moved a few feet forward.

"Hi." she finally responded, dropping her hand from Lady, and crossed her arms over her chest.

"You're early."

"So are you."

"I figured I could use a head start." he muttered, eyes drifting off to the side. He jerked violently as Bond's dark head rammed into his shoulder roughly. Nora chuckled softly, then realized she had, and quieted down, allowing the frown to slip back into place. He glared at the stallion but rubbed his nose affectionately. "What is your problem? I didn't forget you were standing there. You're too huge not to see. I'll get you something to eat. You act like I don't take care of you."

"I already fed him. He was trying to steal Lady's breakfast. He acted like he was starving."

"Typical Bond. I'm convinced he's a drama queen." he glanced at his wife from the corner of his eye, saw her smile faintly. He swallowed, trying to force away the slight anxiety he felt, and asked, "How've you been?"

"I'm all right. How about you?"

"Same old." he kept his eyes on Bond but felt her looking at him. As he turned his head to meet her gaze, she looked away and focused on Lady. "So, uh, are you ready for this? You have everything all set?"

"Yeah, I'm good. The bombs are done. They're with Gallagher. I have enough supplies to make smaller ones while we're there."

"Good, that's good. No problems?"

"No."

"And you're set for your hunt?"

"Yeah."

"And you know where the rendezvous point is?"

"Miles," she turned to look at him, a hint of exasperation in her tone, "it's not the first time I've done this."

"I know. I just, want to make sure you're okay and have a plan."

"Well, I'm good. Wouldn't want you to worry." she turned to walk away but he reached forward and grabbed her arm gently. She tilted her head up to look at him and he stepped closer, murmuring her name. He let go of her arm, letting her turn more towards him, and dropped his hand to her waist. She allowed him to pull her in close, even leaned her head closer as he dipped his own to kiss her. They were about an inch from each other when they were interrupted.

"This is going to be a great day! I can already tell." Bass suddenly turned into the stable, a wide grin on his face. He halted in the doorway as he saw his friends and snapped his mouth shut. They separated immediately. Miles turned to him with a deadly glare in his eyes. _Get the hell away. _"Sorry. You guys really need to put up a sign. 'Warning: Reconciling Spouses' or something."

He backed away, hands up in surrender, and disappeared once more into the darkness outside. Nora sighed deeply and tried to turn back to Lady but Miles tightened his grip on her.

"I don't want to do this now." she muttered, as if she had come to her senses or changed her mind. "When we get back,"

"You really want to go into a battle with us being like this?"

"Are you serious?"

"I miss you. And I promise you can believe that one hundred percent." Bass was more known for the puppy eyes but Miles pulled the expression out on rare occasions. This was one of those rare occasions. Nora's frown softened as they gazed at each other now. It only lasted a second before her neutral expression returned.

"Okay." she tried to sound nonchalant but her voice cracked slightly on the second syllable.

"That's it?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"That you miss me too? It's been two weeks almost. Or are you going to lie and say you don't?"

"Miles, not-"

"If Bass hadn't walked in, we wouldn't be talking right now." he muttered, leaning in so their noses touched slightly.

"You sure are confident in yourself."

"You can't keep this up for much longer. I can feel you fighting yourself right now." he moved his hand off her hip and down to slip his fingers into the back pocket of her jeans and press her closer to him. "I miss you."

"I heard you." she rolled her eyes in slight irritation. Once more, her gaze relaxed and she touched his chest gently, fixing a button he had missed while dressing. "Be careful out there today."

"At least it's something. Can I get a good luck kiss to go with that?"

"Absolutely," she tipped her chin up enough so their lips brushed faintly, but pulled away, "not."

"That wasn't fair."

"I'll see you tonight. We'll talk then."

"Is that a good sign?"

"It'll keep you wondering, won't it?" she murmured, pulling away from him. She walked around towards the entrance, smirking to herself as she felt his eyes on her. She had him right where she wanted him. He would be fine with a few hours of squirming and impatience. He rubbed a hand over his mouth as he watched her swing her hips a little more than usual. _Thank God. _He jolted again as Bond nudged him in the back.

"Damn it Bond, you're a pain in the ass." he grumbled, tearing his attention from his wife.

* * *

_Well, that's not good_. He gritted his teeth as he pressed a hand gingerly against his side, then pulled it away to find his palm slicked with blood. _Yeah, definitely not good. Oh well._

Bass suddenly dropped down beside him and he turned slightly, went to shoot, and rolled his eyes when he realized the gun was empty.

"I'm out." Bass muttered. Miles wordlessly went to his pocket, pulled out another clip, and handed it over. He winced as a pain radiated up his side. He couldn't let a little thing like getting shot stop him. He needed to be here and God help him if Bass realized. _Forget Bass, Nora's going to rip your head off. _"You hear we're running out of bullets?"

"What?"

"Yeah, Kipling told me. We've been shooting so many rounds for so many years, all these bandits, all these militias. If we're running low, we're going to have to ration. Or start using swords. We'll be like pirates."

They laughed, only to be interrupted by an explosion close to their heads. They both ducked a little more, which only aggravated Miles's side. _Okay, this is worse than not good. This is beyond bad. _He tipped his head with a grimace, pulled his hand away again. _Fuck. _Then he realized Bass was staring at him, a slightly horrified expression beginning to form.

"Bass, you gotta go."

"Forget it."

"Look at me man, someone's gotta lead the men."

"I don't care about the men."

"Don't argue with me."

"All these years, all those times I was in trouble, you never left my side. You never ran. If you're dying, I'm dying with you."

They stared at each other for a moment, then Miles scoffed and turned his attention back to his wound.

"That was beautiful man. Now get out of here."

"Shut up. Do you think you can walk?"

"Are you serious right now?"

"I'm getting you out of here. We'll get you to the medics, Hannigan's on call back at the base, they'll stitch you up. You'll be fine."

"How do you suggest we go about that? Do you have your magic shield hidden on you somewhere? You can't get out of here with me like this."

"Then I guess we're going to die here because if I come back without you, Nora will slowly and painfully torture me, probably castrate me too, and then she'll come down here and raise hell on all these unsuspecting souls."

At the mention of Nora, Miles felt his heart sink. Or maybe it was the blood rushing out of his body. No, it was the definitely the idea that he was going to lay here and bleed out and not see her again. They were going to end on this note. Not completely reconciled and he was going to die. He could just imagine her back in the dilapidated shopping mall they had claimed as their central command, busying herself with her bombs, then going on her various runs to plant and detonate, either as a weapon or a distraction. Was she waiting anxiously for his return? He had hoped so but now, hoped she cared less about seeing him. It would soften the blow for her when she heard about this.

"Come on. If we get behind that pillar, we can make it back to our base. I can see the reinforcements coming in already. We're out numbering them. Nora can flick some of her helpful bombs this way and we'll be good."

* * *

She had holed herself up in what looked to be an old break room. It was relatively quiet, though she could still hear the muffled sounds of the ongoing fight outside. She had to tune it out though, had to push aside the thought of Miles being in the midst of it all, and concentrate on what she was doing. Even the slightest wrong move could set the small bomb off prematurely and half their people could go up in flames.

The door swung open suddenly, hit into the wall with a loud bang, and she jumped.

"Son of a bitch! Jeremy, really? You know I-" she trailed off as she saw his grim expression rather than his trademark grin. "What? What happened?"

"It's Miles."

"What?"

"They have him at the old clinic next door. He got hit, Bass dragged him out. They just got him back."

"Is he-"

"No. Just, come on,"

She moved numbly out from the table and allowed him to pull her along. Once she heard _it's Miles_, her brain shut down. He couldn't have gotten hurt. This was Miles they were talking about. It was probably some stupid stunt to get her all upset and fling herself into his arms, professing that she still loved him and could never leave him, when she saw him. If she got in there and he was sitting, perfectly fine, with that stupid smirk on his face, she would shoot him herself. Hadn't he understood her sly actions? Didn't he realize she was taking him back? But, as soon as they walked into the clinic, she heard Bass shouting and knew this was no game.

She tore away from Jeremy and hurried down the small hall filled with Militia officers and found Bass in the doorway of the final room.

"You're going to do whatever the fuck you can! Do you understand me?"

"Of course sir but-"

"No buts. Just fix him." he swerved as Nora tried wedging her way in next to him. She paled at the sight of the blood on his hands and staining his coat. He grabbed her quickly, stopping her from moving any further into the room.

"Let me go!"

"Nora-"

"No, I need to see him." she struggled against him but he just held her tighter. "Bass, I need to see him! Please!"

He said nothing as she managed to break free of his grip and rushed to Miles's side. She kept her eyes off his bloodied side as the small medical team prepped him for surgery and leaned close to him. He was half-conscious, eyes unable to focus on one spot longer than a few seconds.

"Miles," she pressed a shaking hand against his cheek, turning his face slightly towards her. She waited as he fought to remain conscious, then saw the faint recognition behind the pain. "Hey,"

"Nora." his voice was slurred and she smiled weakly, nodding. "Shouldn't- shouldn't be here."

"Where else would I be?"

A faint smile formed but immediately turned into a grimace. She saw his jaw tighten in a weak attempt to stop from crying out. Even half dead, he couldn't allow General Matheson to be perceived as weak in any way. A soft moan still managed to escape as she stroked his hair soothingly.

"Shh, it's okay. It's okay. It's not even that bad." she lied, stealing at glance at his side. She promptly moved her gaze back to his, saw his eyebrows raise slightly.

"Right," he mumbled with a small hint of sarcasm.

"Nora, I need you to leave now." Dr. Hannigan came up behind her, put a hand gently on her arm to lead her away. She pulled away from him, leaned closer to Miles, unwilling to leave him. "Nora,"

"Just give me a second."

"He doesn't have a second. He's lost a lot of blood as it is. I need to help him." he said quietly. She gave a small nod to show she understood and felt him step away from her.

"I'm going to be right outside, okay?" she forced a smile onto her face as she spoke once more to Miles. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right there. I-I love you."

"Love you," he muttered. For one small second, she saw clarity in his gaze and felt a tear slip down her cheek. They still had a lot to discuss but at least the air was cleared between them, in case- no, she wasn't going to think that. She leaned down, kissed his forehead gently, then forced herself to walk back to Bass.

The door shut with a loud click behind them as they wandered out into the waiting room. She sat down on one of the chairs, leaned over at the waist and pressed her face into her hands. It was only Bass and Jeremy, and half a dozen officers, who were slowly exiting out into the parking lot, but she wasn't going to cry in front of them. The men stood rigidly over her, neither saying a word. Jeremy, for once, looked concerned while Bass had a hardened expression on his face, eyes deadly cold.

"You need to leave." he finally said.

"I understand." it was Jeremy who answered but Bass pinned him with a glare.

"Not you. Her."

"What?" she lifted her head in disbelief. "I'm not going anywhere."

"You still have to find Johansen."

"I don't give a shit about some guy. I'm not leaving."

"That's an order."

"Screw your orders." she rose to her feet, glaring at him. "If that's the case and you're so concerned about people's responsibilities, _you _still have a militia to lead."

"Yeah, well, I'm the one in charge. I make the decisions."

"Not about this. That's my husband in there Bass."

"Right and you cared so much about him that you were ready to leave him before a huge campaign and screwed with his concentration. It's probably your fault this even happened. He was so-" the loud smack of her palm against his cheek cut off the rest of his statement.

"Don't ever talk like that to me again. Don't you dare blame me for this." her voice was eerily calm as she dropped her hand and curled it into a fist. "It is none of your business what goes on between us and I don't feel the need to explain the reasoning behind my actions to you. Don't ever assume to know anything about our relationship. People fight. They need time to figure things out. That doesn't erase years of history and the way they feel about each other. So I'm sorry to disappoint you if you expected me to skip out of here, continue on with a bounty hunt, and be happy that my husband is hanging on by a thread in there."

He kept his head turned away from her, eyes lowered to the ground, and said nothing. She glared at him for another moment before sitting back down. She leaned back completely in the chair, tilted her head against the wall, and put one foot on the seat.

"Bass," Jeremy cleared his throat and succeeded in catching his attention, "you either need to get back out there or put someone else in charge. Without you and Miles, or someone leading the men, things are going to unravel fast. We can't risk it."

Bass put his hands on his waist, contemplating his choices, and turned his head towards the makeshift operating room. He glanced at Nora, who stared straight ahead out the dirtied windows, then at Jeremy.

"I'll be back. If anything- come find me." he said quietly, leaving the old building. As soon as the door swung shut, Jeremy saw Nora's mouth tremble in a mixture of anger and sadness. He fidgeted uncomfortably, not really the nurturing type, but lowered himself into the chair next to her anyway.

"Don't get yourself into a tizzy. Miles is too stubborn to die and Bass is an idiot." he clapped a hand onto her raised knee and squeezed. "That's why they need us to mellow them out."

He flashed a grin at her and she weakly reciprocated. She sighed as she pressed a hand to her forehead, shaking slightly as she fought to hold back the tears threatening to fall.

"I'm sorry." she muttered.

"Ah, don't worry about it. You think you're the first woman to cry in my presence?" he tilted his head to the side, then nodded. "Actually, yes, you are."

"Stop it." she laughed softly as she pushed his arm. A muffled groan caught both their attentions and he saw the worry and fear increase in her expression. "What if he-"

"He won't. It's going to take more than a gunshot to get rid of him."

* * *

She woke up a few hours later after falling asleep on Jeremy's shoulder. As she sat up, she realized Jeremy had been replaced with Bass and pressed her lips together in a thin line. He raked a hand through his messy curls and coughed awkwardly.

"I'm sorry about before." he muttered, not meeting her eye. "I uh, I didn't mean it. I was just, angry about everything and I took it out on the wrong person."

She said nothing and he sighed deeply, continuing, "Miles is the only family I've got left and I don't know what would happen if anything were to happen to him. Obviously I wouldn't take it very well. But you didn't deserve that."

"Thanks."

He nodded, looking down at his lap, and scrubbed his hands over his face.

"What's going on out there?"

"They've retreated and surrendered. I was kind enough to take Wilson on as an advisor. We'll sign the treaty in the morning and his militia will officially be a part of the Republic. We're gaining the entire state." he looked anything but happy at the news. She knew he wouldn't celebrate until they heard Miles would be fine.

"Beaches and gambling. I'm excited." she quipped. At his lack of response, she nudged him with her shoulder gently. "It was a joke."

"Ha ha."

"Miles isn't the only family you have now." she said softly. He lifted his head at that and stared at her. "You've got me."

There was an unspoken agreement that they were going to need each other if anything happened to Miles. He extended his arm and she leaned into him, wrapping a hand around his waist.

"Excuse me," Dr. Hannigan appeared in front of them. He looked exhausted but happy. "General Matheson is going to be fine. He was lucky the bullet didn't damage anything too important and it was easy, well relatively easy, to extract the fragments. The blood loss was my biggest concern but the transfusions were a success thanks to President Monroe and Captain Baker's donations."

Nora frowned slightly, then noticed Bass's right sleeve rolled up and the bandage on the inside of his elbow.

"Can we see him?" she asked quietly.

"I'd suggest one at a time. He's awake but groggy and slightly doped up on pain medication."

"Go ahead." Bass nodded at the hallway, gesturing for Nora to go first. She smiled appreciatively at him and stood up, then walked to the room Miles was in. She pushed the door open quietly and felt relief rush over her as she saw him alive and somewhat well. He was propped up slightly on the exam table with a blanket pulled up to his waist. He was shirtless, exposing the bandages wrapped around his lower torso which was already dotted with red. For the moment, he hadn't seemed to notice her entrance as he kept his eyes fixated on a spot on the ceiling.

"Hey there handsome."

His head turned slowly at the sound of her voice and he studied her with a furrowed expression. She smiled slightly as she walked into the room. She grabbed a chair that was against the wall and dragged it to his side, then sat down.

"Quite a stunt you pulled today," she teased gently, wrapping her hand around his. She pulled them up together, pressed her face against the back of his hand. His fingers moved slowly against her cheek. "Were you that desperate for my attention?"

"I-" he swallowed, trying to wet his throat, and started again with a hoarse voice, "I know you like grand gestures."

"Next time, can you aim a little lower? This was a little too extreme for my taste."

"Sorry." his eyes closed as she moved closer. Her free hand went up to his head, brushing away the rogue strands of hair that fell across his forehead. "Nora,"

"Yeah sweetheart?"

"M'sorry, 'bout you know, ev'rything."

"It's okay. We'll talk about it later. How are you feeling?"

"Like shit." he sighed softly. "All I thought about was you. Didn't- didn't want to- I needed to see you."

"I'm right here."

"And tell you-"

"Miles, relax. You need to rest. We're not having this discussion while you're half awake and on whatever Hannigan gave you."

"No, I had to let you know... things are different. I'm gonna be better, try a lot more."

"Okay." she smiled and leaned in, brushed her lips gently over his. "I want you to get some sleep."

"Don't leave." he mumbled, sounding like a small child. She suppressed a giggle and shook her head.

"I'm not. I'll be right here."

She held onto him until his breathing evened out, then gently released his hand. She leaned back in the chair, kept her eyes locked on him, and realized he hadn't asked about the battle at all. _All I thought about was you. _Only time would tell if this supposed change would stick but this was a positive start.


	32. Chapter 32

Nora acted on instinct as she saw Miles grappling with the armed guard. Get Charlie and Aaron out of the area, then double back to him. She had stabbed the guard before she even realized she had done it.

"Nice." he admired the coil gun he had retrieved and she fought the urge to roll her eyes. He could be such a child sometimes. "Come on."

It never failed to amaze her how well they fought alongside each other. _You and Miles were- are too good together. You're a dangerous combination. _Bass had been right, not that she ever doubted that fact. She and Miles had always been in tune with each other. They could depend on each other, know what the other needed with just a small glance or a nod of the head, would back each other up, and their different skill sets complimented each other. They slipped easily into battle mode, as though it was the simplest thing in the world. It was simply an extension of their relationship. She often wondered how their fighting style would be different if they weren't romantically together.

Now, hidden behind the piping system, she leaned her head against the wall, grateful for a moment to catch her breath. She still felt awful but she refused to give in. Not when they had come this far. They were so close.

"Miles!" she froze at the sound of Bass's voice and saw her husband's shoulders tense as well. She peered between the pipes and saw the blond approaching, gripping his own coil gun. "You ready to settle this once and for all?"

Miles's hands tightened on the gun, head turned to the side, contemplating his next move. Nora glanced between the two, fighting the urge to push him out of the way and kill Bass herself. She almost did it too when Miles looked down at her. She understood the silent order. _Stay here, stay out of sight. _Finally, he hoisted the gun to his shoulder and swerved out into the open.

Yet neither of them did anything and it frustrated her beyond belief. They stared each other down, fingers hovering over their respective triggers, but neither took the shot. If one of them did intend to do something, it was hindered by the pulse of another coil gun.

The next thing she knew, Miles was nodding at her to run, and she felt a surprise ache of longing as he and Bass fell into step behind her, covering her as they looked for an exit. Just as she and Miles worked as one, he and Bass fought in tandem as well. She and Bass had a similar relationship, though not as intense. There had been a time she could rely on him as a second pair of hands and eyes, though they were prone to more screw-ups than she and Miles were. She had been so used to it being the three of them. They weren't working together, she reminded herself. He was still a psychopath. He had still tortured her. He wasn't their friend anymore. This was merely trying to survive long enough to continue their fight.

She skidded to a stop as she reached an enclosed area with only a door as a possible option. Miles pushed past her, opened it, and found a sewer system.

"What the hell?" they scanned the rushing waters to see another ledge with a second door across the way. A series of pipes connected the two. They all glanced at each other as Miles gestured at Bass.

He stepped gingerly onto the wet pipes, slowly picking his way towards their freedom. Miles glanced back at Nora but she motioned for him to go. That fleeting moment of nostalgia was gone. She didn't want to be any closer to Bass than she needed to be. Knowing him, he'd probably turn around and toss her into the water. Miles could be the buffer. They climbed onto the pipes, inching towards the center, and had no time to react as the unmistakable sound of the coil gun filled their ears.

She panicked as she hit the water, struggled against the current. After what felt like forever, her fingers scraped along the metal ledge and she pulled her head above the water.

"Miles?" fear tightened around her like a vice as she looked around, unable to see him or Bass. "Miles!"

She waited to make sure the other people were gone before pushing herself up onto the ledge. She laid there for a moment, gasping for air, and shaking. Her already aching body cried for her to rest but she ignored it. Her eyes roamed the area, looking for even the smallest sign of him. He couldn't have drowned. She refused to believe that. There had to be another room or some other place the water flowed to.

"Miles!" she called again, even though it was useless and ridiculous. She rolled onto her side and pressed her cheek against the metal grid, suddenly at a loss. What if he had drowned? What if he got killed by one of those tower guards or Bass or he was seriously injured? What was she supposed to do? _What would Miles do? _Miles wouldn't lay there, moping, for one. He would pick himself up and—she needed to find Charlie. The image of her niece suddenly hit her at full force. When she and Miles had run off, Charlie and Aaron had gone in another direction. Who knew what trouble they had gotten themselves into this time. She forced herself to her feet and quietly pushed the door open. Her head poked through the opening, scanning the area for any threats, then dragged the rest of her body through. She would get back into the ventilation system. From there, she'd be able to move freely and be able to see what was happening on the floor, and hopefully Charlie.

* * *

He was getting too old for this shit. Star Wars weapons, getting sucked into drain pipes, nearly drowning, fist fights. Though, he supposed he should be thankful that Bass was kind enough to wait until he had regained consciousness to start punching him. Now, he had to worry about getting shot at by a Militia officer. He pressed himself as far against the ground as he could and glanced at Bass. Maybe he could run while they were both distracted. He would grab Nora and they would—the thought died instantly as he realized he hadn't seen her yet. His eyes roamed the area as his pulse started to race. There was no sign of her. _Maybe she's still in the Tower. _He didn't find that likely, seeing as he and Bass had both been swept out.

How long had he been out? Had Bass been unconscious too? Maybe she had somehow slipped past them? No, she would have tried waking him up or dragged him to safety. Or had Bass done something to her? _Or maybe she never made it to shore. _His eyes locked on the lake, looking for any sign of movement in the water.

"Hold your fire! It's General Monroe." Bass stepped out, catching Miles's attention as well as the officer. There was a pause, then the officer shot at him. Bass ducked back into the brush.

_Well, that's new. _Miles didn't let it consume any more of his mind. He used the shot as a diversion to scramble up the hill and into the sparse woods. He ran until he felt he was far enough out of sight, then slowed to a jog, and then after a few more minutes, fell against a tree to catch his breath. He had to find Nora. He had to find her and get back to Charlie.

_Keep moving. _He inhaled a deep breath, looked around his surroundings, then pushed off the tree. He would find her. If she was dead, he would know it. She wasn't dead. At least not yet. He needed to get back to her. He refused to allow anything else to happen to her. If one more thing happened, he was sure that would break him.

He lost track of how long he had been walking, wasn't even sure where he was at that point, and definitely wasn't paying attention when Bass barreled into him at full speed.

_Fuck this, _he thought, quickly rolling in order to gain the upper hand. He reeled his fist back and punched Bass several times before throwing him viciously to the side and standing up.

"Where you going?" he grumbled as Miles started off once more in the direction he had chosen. He rolled his eyes as he listened to his friend. It reminded him of when they were children. Miles didn't like to talk about his emotions and Bass used a more physical outlet. He remembered his mother calling them 'a pair of feral cats' more than once. They were boys and scrappy and were usually jumping out of trees, bushes, and other hiding spots to beat the living shit out of each other.

"Got more important things to do Bass. I gotta find Nora and Charlie most likely is in trouble."

"Turn around and fight me!"

"So we can keep kicking each others' asses? For what?" he snapped, swinging around. "You got your own problems pal. Your own men are shooting at you."

He was sure Bass had never grown up. This proved just as much. Here they were, in the middle of nowhere, he was in the midst of a coup, and he wanted to fight with him.

"Don't you walk away from me! You're the one who tried to kill me."

The reminder made Miles stop. He tilted his head up slightly in despair and irritation, then slowly turned back to Bass.

"You're the one who started all of this and now you're walking away. You know, I never saw it coming. I woke up that night and you were just standing there. I was about to ask if you were okay. That's funny right? I was worried about you. Then, you pulled that gun. You never gave an explanation."

"It was a lot of things."

"Like what?"

"What you did to those rebel kids, for one."

"I did that for you. Everything I have ever done has been for you. You care so much about the Republic. I don't care. The only thing I ever cared about was watching your back. That's the only reason I followed you into any of this and you tried to kill me for it."

"You- you did it for me?" Miles stared at him incredulously, a slight disbelieving laugh in his voice. "Tell me how kidnapping my son was for me. Tell me how torturing my wife was for me. You want to talk about explanations? Man, I deserve one more than you do."

Bass opened his mouth several times but no words came out. Miles stared at him, then shook his head and threw his hands up in frustration.

"And another thing, if you don't care about the Republic, why are you so insistent on sweeping the continent? Why not just walk away? It helps to persuade people Bass if you-" he was cut off by the sound of a helicopter flying towards them. They both took a second to look, then started running in opposite directions. Miles ducked into a grove of trees and watched as the officers dragged an unconscious Bass off. Then an idea hit him, and he slowly followed after the group, making sure to stay out of sight.

* * *

Without a map like before, the Tower was a literal maze. Nora was sure she had gone in a circle at least three times. She was losing her patience when she finally chose a new vent at random and quietly pried the cover off. She tensed as she saw figures up a head, then relaxed as she realized it was Charlie, Aaron, and Rachel.

Her heart warmed as she saw the way Charlie's face lit up when she realized it was her. Immediately, she opened her arms as her niece rushed forward.

"Hey. I've been looking everywhere for you." she squeezed her gently, felt her melt against her. "You okay?"

She nodded silently, chin bumping into Nora's shoulder. Charlie held on another few seconds, fingers pressing into her back, as Nora's eyes locked on Rachel's cold stare. She understood the expression on her face. She had never seen Charlie ever be openly affectionate to Rachel, not that her mother ever gave her the chance to. Rachel had to watch Alex grow closer to Nora and now had to watch it happen again with Charlie.

She would never deny that she adored Charlie. Traveling with her niece had reawakened some of the maternal feelings she had fought to bury after losing Alex. It was, in some twisted way, amusing to be with Miles and act together as pseudo-parents for her, guiding her through war and teaching her all their terrible tricks. Charlie looked to her for guidance, comfort, just to have someone to talk to. Nora did all those things, remembering how it had been with Mia. They had grown close since they met and Nora tried to reconcile this young woman with the little girl she had heard so many stories about and had anticipated meeting for years. Now she had and she was grateful that the bond she had hoped for still existed. There were plenty of instances Nora felt the urge to tell Rachel, _No you can't have her. She's mine. You had so many opportunities and you took none of them. You have no right to get jealous now. You didn't want her._

She hadn't actively tried to replace Rachel but knowing her sister-in-law as she did, it was difficult to not hold her in contempt. Therefore, she couldn't help but give Charlie the nurturing she knew she needed and had longed for. Rachel had never been there, Charlie had been too resentful of Maggie. But Nora was nobody, she realized with a pang of sadness. She was simply Uncle Miles's cool friend who liked bombs. Charlie had no idea she was her aunt. She had been more receptive to opening up to Nora, probably because of that very reason and Nora didn't push. She didn't try and force her way in and demand Charlie's love and respect. She had taken the laid back approach, _if you want/need me, I'm here_.

"Where's Miles?" Charlie peeled back and looked at her. Despite being almost twenty one years old, she looked so childish in that moment, her eyes wide with confusion and a hint of fear. Again, Rachel's gaze narrowed. Another reminder of how Charlie felt closer to Miles and Nora.

"We-we got separated. We wound up in this water system room and- and he got pulled out by the current. There were drainage pipes but I don't know where it would have come out though."

"Do you think he's okay?"

"I don't know." that fear from before began to creep up once more but she smiled quickly, more for her own sake than Charlie's. "If he got out, I'm sure he's fine."

"We need to move." Rachel said brusquely, already moving away from the wall. "Let's go."

They fell into line behind her and remained silent as they walked. After a few minutes, Rachel slowed her pace and kept up with Nora. Nora said nothing, waiting for Rachel to make the first move. She knew exactly what was coming.

"I thought I asked you to watch out for her."

"I'm watching out for her."

"By bringing her here?"

"Charlie's a grown adult. She can make her own decisions. The best I can do is support her." she dragged her eyes towards the blonde in a dirty glance. _Something you should try once in a while. _

"And you let Alex fall back into Bass's control."

The quiet statement made Nora pause. Then she remembered that Rachel had been captured by Bass. No doubt they had plenty to talk about.

"You did wonderfully." she added, staring straight ahead.

"We're not doing this now. We have other things to worry about."

"Right. You will dish out the blame easily but you won't accept any."

"I've accepted plenty of guilt. I've blamed myself numerous times. You adding to that isn't going to change anything. Besides, don't act like you're any better. You know, you and Bass deserve each other. You're both selfish, obsessed, and only do things that will benefit yourselves. You have a short attention span. You hop from one item to the next. First it was your kids, then it was Bass, then it was Alex, then Danny, and now getting the power on. You're never going to stop."

Nora's response shut Rachel up quickly. They stopped at one of the large vents and peered out into the hallway.

"There's the stairwell door down to Level 12."

"Oh. Except for all those maniacs down there it seems perfect." Aaron muttered.

"How do we get past them?" Charlie asked. They are stared at the group through the slats, momentarily silent. Nora felt the wheels begin to turn in her head. There was only one sure way she knew how to get rid of a group that large.

"I have an idea." she replied quietly. "I'm going to need a few things though."

Charlie flashed her a knowing grin as they set off once more in search of chemicals and wire.

* * *

Miles crouched behind a bush, eyes glued to the young captain loading C4 charges at the base of the Tower door. What he could gather from the whispers that past by was Neville had started a coup. He was determined to get into the Tower to stop Rachel and hoped to execute Bass.

Bass. The name made him pause. If it had been fifteen years ago, he wouldn't have hesitated about breaking him out of his captivity. He would have gladly taken any number of bullets for his brother, jumped on a grenade, taken whatever blame had befallen him. Hell, even ten years ago he would have done that. But then there was Nora and nothing, not even Bass, could come before her. Even, _even _if, after everything, Miles felt torn between his wife and his best friend, Alex became the deciding factor.

He had tried over the past few months to find it in him to forgive Bass and he couldn't. Add in the past month of torture he had given Nora and there was definitely no turning back. He could make excuses for Ben and Danny's deaths. They were sad and he did grieve for them, but they were avoidable. Bass hadn't given the order specifically, or so he believed. They had been collateral damage perhaps. Bass cared too much about getting the power on to have Ben murdered and Danny had been a fluke. It could have been any of them that got shot down by the helicopter. His decisions in regards to Nora and Alex had been carefully planned and executed. Miles couldn't forgive that. Bass had made his own decisions, Miles had not held a gun to his head and forced him to do anything, and now he would have to face the consequences. He had cleaned up his friend's messes for far too long. It was time he took responsibility for his own actions.

He shook his head to pull his attention back to the present and watched as the captain prepared to detonate the C4. He knew he would only have a few precious moments before the Militia entered the tower. He used the explosion as his diversion and ran as stealthily as possible through the smoke and debris. Then, he slit the throat of the captain from behind, and ducked into the newly made hole. He needed to get back to Level 11 as quickly as possible.

* * *

"This isn't working. If we had the right meds or stitches, maybe." Aaron muttered, not sounding very optimistic.

"There was an infirmary back where Grace was." Charlie, on the other hand, sounded hopeful and determined, refusing to give up by any means. Nora kept her mouth shut, knowing nothing she said was going to deter Charlie and she needed to save her energy. She already felt herself growing cold and weak. As hard as she tried not to, she was shaking and the pain was only getting worse.

"There's Militia. A lot of them." Rachel announced quietly as she closed the door. Nora dared to glance up at her and wasn't surprised at the barren expression plastered onto her face. She hadn't expected any sympathy from the woman. Gratitude, maybe. After all, she had just idiotically thrown herself into the line of fire to set off the trip wire- an action she was rapidly growing to regret.

"How did they get down here?" Aaron asked.

"If we go to the infirmary, we might not make it back." the question was ignored in favor of stating the problem at hand.

"If we don't, Nora is going to bleed out." Charlie turned her head to stare down her mother. "If they lock those barrack doors, we need the key card."

"I need the key card to get to the twelfth floor."

"Mom-"

"The door is right here." Rachel interrupted. "Stay here with Nora. I'll be back."

The brunette almost laughed out loud at that. She knew the blonde would gladly leave her to die right there on the floor and wouldn't bat an eyelash doing so. She had to get Charlie to relent. Nothing was going to persuade Rachel. She was too stubborn and dedicated to her cause, perhaps for the wrong reasons, but she was dedicated and would not stop until she achieved her goal. Her slowly dying, more-often-than-not foe of a sister-in-law definitely wasn't going to stand in the way of that.

She watched as Rachel's cold stare flicked towards her. Perhaps she was imagining it, but Nora swore she saw a bit of _good, you deserve it _in her gaze. There was also a part of her that believed Rachel was doing this partially because of Alex. She bit down on her lip as a wave of pain washed over her. She wanted so badly to say she wouldn't do that to her. As much as she hated Rachel, she would never leave her to die. She liked to think she was a better person than that.

"By the time you go and come back, Nora's going to be dead. This isn't an either/or." Charlie scrambled to her feet. Her tone was adamant and Nora wished she could see her face. "We save Nora, then we can go turn the lights on."

"Your mom's right. We can't risk it. She has to get down there while she still can." she finally said softly. She hadn't done this for Rachel, she reminded herself. She had done this to get the power on- something she needed Rachel and Aaron for- so the rebels actually had a fighting chance against Bass. She had done this so things could finally go back to normal and Alex would have a safe, structured environment to grow up in.

"Give me the key card." Charlie reached for the card. Her fingers grazed the edge but Rachel yanked her hand back like a child unwilling to share its toys.

"Charlie, this is the rebels' only chance." Nora tried again. She wasn't going to let her niece wreck whatever options they had left. As much as it killed her, sometimes there were greater sacrifices that needed to be made. She had devoted her life to this for the past few years, she couldn't stop now.

"I said no." Charlie fought to keep the snappish tone out of her voice but they all heard it anyway. She was so much like Miles at times that it scared Nora. "How many more people have to die for this?

"We're doing this for Danny." Rachel said quietly.

"Danny's dead Mom. It breaks my heart but he's gone and he's not coming back. But I'm here. Your daughter is standing right in front of you. I'm alive and I'm asking for your help."

They all knew this would be the moment that could make or break their relationship. Rachel had missed so many opportunities and, even if Charlie's begging was for the benefit of a woman her mother despised, she had to do this for her. There was a short silence that felt as though it lasted a lifetime.

"Lock the door." Rachel ordered. Charlie reeled back slightly, disappointment and disbelief written on her face. "I'll be back, I promise. Aaron, you need to come with me. I don't have Warren's journal. It's your code. I need you for the computers. Come with me. Please."

The order clearly tore at Aaron. He stared at Nora with a mixed look of uncertainty and guilt, as though he already knew what he was going to do. The only thing she could do was make the decision easier for him.

"Aaron, this is what you came here for. Now go."

"Good bye."

She wanted to make a crack about his optimism level but at this point, she knew the odds were stacked against her. He was probably correct in his assumptions. She kept her head down as he and Rachel left the room. The sound of Charlie kicking the door in anger after she locked it forced Nora to look up.

"Charlie, don't. You'll get someone's attention."

"Why is she like this? After everything, she can't-" she broke off with a aggravated yell, giving the door another kick.

"This is not about you. Okay? Don't let this-"

"Of course it's about me! It doesn't matter what I do or say, she will never do anything for me."

"Charlie, stop." she hoped she sounded forceful but she highly doubted it. "As long as I've known your mom, she's always been extremely narrow minded. Add in the fact she's not my biggest fan, and you've got two great reasons for her deciding to go her own way. Trust me when I say, this is not about you."

"If it was me sitting there, she still would have left."

"No she wouldn't."

"Yes she would." the younger woman finally turned, eyes red with tears. She sat back in front of Nora and pressed her hands against her side once more in a useless attempt to stop the bleeding.

Charlie bit the inside of her lip as she stared at the mess in front of her. It was her dad, Maggie, and Danny all over again. She blinked back tears, refusing to succumb to that mind frame. She couldn't just sit here and do nothing. There had to be something they could do. But even as she argued with herself to sling Nora over her shoulder and force her way into the infirmary, she knew there was very little she could do on her own.

"I'm sorry." she whispered, not meeting her aunt's eye.

"You didn't do this."

"I got you into this. So many things have happened to you because I asked you to help me."

"Stop." Nora tipped her head back slightly, inhaled a sharp breath. She didn't want to do this now. Not when she had to focus on staying alive. "I'm grateful you asked me to help. You brought me and Miles back together. I couldn't have asked for anything else."

She paused, then added softly, "You should have gone down with your mom."

"No, you are much more fun." Charlie finally looked up and flashed a quick smile. Nora let out half a laugh, then cried out at the stabbing sensation that caused. "Shh, shh."

They could hear footsteps outside the door and Charlie jumped up, hiding next to the door. Her hand wrapped around a heavy vase as the lock splintered and the door swung open. A Militia officer entered, approached Nora, then Charlie swung, hitting him in the head. He turned quickly and grabbed her, then slammed her into the wall. Nora watched helplessly, wishing she could do something to stop her niece from getting hurt, when the knife suddenly plunged into the officer's throat and he dropped to the floor.

She blinked in surprise at Miles's non-expectant appearance as he went to help Charlie up.

"I'm fine." she coughed and pointed insistently at Nora. Miles turned his head to look and his face went blank as he saw her sitting in a pool of her own blood. He dropped the gun and knife and knelt down next to her. She stared at him pathetically, forcing herself to keep calm and not burst into tears, not with Charlie standing right there.

* * *

Miles should have known that something had happened. It had taken longer than he had expected to get back to his family. He had to stop once or twice to avoid the Militia marching through the halls but once he got to Level 11, he had an easier time of getting rid of the few guards posted through the winding halls. It had been by chance that he heard Charlie and Nora yelling. They were in a room in a small hallway off the main one and he had almost walked by.

He had seen the growing trail of blood leading towards the room, but refused to acknowledge it, even as he followed it directly into the room. He reacted immediately as he saw the Militia officer over Charlie, grabbed and stabbed him in the throat. He hadn't even seen Nora crouched on the floor in his hurry to save their niece. Now, kneeling in front of her, he wondered if his subconscious had blocked her out, knowing he wouldn't accept her being severely injured.

He didn't know what to do. He had seen and experienced plenty of wounds in a variety of degrees but when it came to his wife, his brain instantly shut down. He blinked a few times, swallowed against the knot that had rapidly formed in his throat, and pressed a hand gently against hers. She whimpered softly at the added pressure, causing him to look up apologetically.

"Rachel and Aaron went down to Level 12. Militia's everywhere. You have to help them."

Her statement went in one ear and out the other. He peeled their hands away, holding back a grimace as he inspected the wound.

"We need meds."

"Listen to me-" she started but Charlie quickly cut her off, "There's an infirmary but it's locked."

"Then we'll blast the door."

"Listen to me!" she raised her voice, cringing at the amount of effort that took. "Go. Go get the power on."

"No." he shook his head repeatedly. "No, I'm not leaving you."

The idea was ridiculous. Did she honestly expect him to leave her? Did she honestly think he would listen to her? He would never do such a thing, especially after the scare they had just had.

"Miles-"

"Charlie, check the hall, make sure it's clear."

She nodded wordlessly, grabbing the guns off the floor, and moved quickly to the door. She waited a moment, then slipped into the hall. Finally alone, Nora broke slightly, shedding a few tears. She tipped her head back, trying to keep her breathing even and remain calm. It was hard to do as she felt her life literally seeping through her fingers.

"Didn't- didn't we have a deal about no intestines hanging out?" he asked softly. "Or did that just apply to me as usual?"

Her brow knitted together in a frown, as she searched for the memory, then let out a short, choked laugh as one of their many Post-Trenton discussions flashed in her head. The laugh resulted in another soft yell and her breathing quickened. She felt something sticky on the side of her face, then realized Miles was holding her, smearing her blood on her cheek.

"It's going to be okay baby."

"Don't." the one syllable was mangled. "Promise me... that you'll, you'll find Alex."

"Don't do that."

"Miles, look at me."

He shook his head no, forced eyes down as he pressed his other hand against her side.

"Miles." she tried again but he continued to shake his head. "Honey, please."

He let out some choked sound and finally met her eye. He wasn't crying, not yet, but his eyes were red with the impending flood.

"I just got you back." he muttered through gritted teeth. "I am not losing you. Not like this. Alright? So don't even try arguing with me. I'm not letting you die."

He stood up, then bent down in order to pick her up. She slowly wrapped one arm over his shoulders as he picked her up. She whimpered softly at the shot of pain as he straightened up and pressed her face into the material of his jacket. Her own tears were flowing freely now. She knew this was it and as much as she said she wasn't afraid to die, she was terrified right now. She wasn't ready.

"I love you."

"I love you too but stop acting like you're dying you drama queen." he flashed a weak grin down at her.

"Promise me you'll be okay when-"

"Nora, stop." he poked his head out the door, then entered the hallway.

"We-we need to be real-realistic here." she tried tightening her grip on him but couldn't find the strength. "I don't- I don't want you being depressed. And I need- I need to know you're going to go for Alex."

"We're going to go for him together."

He followed Charlie through the halls, trying to move as quickly as he could, and looked down often to make sure Nora was still conscious. He held her tighter as he felt her breathing grow shallow and forced himself to pick up his pace.

"Hey, hey, look at me." he squeezed her thigh gently, trying to get her attention. Her eyelids fluttered weakly as her head lolled towards his shoulder. "We're almost there. Alright? Right Charlie?"

"It's right up here."

"Nora, don't- look at me. You listening?"

She mumbled something incoherent he couldn't quite make out as her fingers loosened on him.

"Nora!" he stopped momentarily, heart racing, but then she moaned softly. He didn't register the sound of footsteps coming towards them but he did hear Charlie's panicked exclamation of his name. He forced himself to look up and found a group of about six or seven people standing in front of him. It was a mix of men and women. One woman, obviously acting as leader, stepped forward. "I wouldn't-"

"We were coming to find you." she said gently, a sympathetic smile on her face. "We've been keeping an eye on the cameras. I can help her."

"W-what?"

"Liz," one of the men clearly did not agree but the woman turned to her comrades.

"I'm not going to let another person die down here."

"She's partly responsible for the explosion."

"Two wrongs don't make a right Will." she turned her attention back to Miles and Charlie, both looking unsure and surprised at the situation they found themselves in. "Follow me. The infirmary is just up here."


	33. Chapter 33

Charlie shut the door to the infirmary quietly and turned back to the others. Four of the Tower people surrounded the gurney Nora was on. Miles, having been shoved aside several minutes ago, stood completely frozen a few feet away, a blank expression on his face. He was so still Charlie wasn't even sure he was breathing. She took three hesitant steps towards him and looked up.

"There's more Militia. They're heading for Level 12." she gnawed on her lip. "Aaron... and... and my mother aren't going to stand a chance."

He said nothing in response and it made her wonder if he was aware of his surroundings.

"Miles?" this time, she noticed his jaw tense slightly. "I-I'm going to need help."

"No."

"I don't want to go either but-"

"Damn it Charlie, I said no." he managed to tear his gaze from Nora for a few seconds to look down at his niece. She steadied herself for the explosion that was sure to come. "Do-do you understand that? I'm not- I'm not leaving her. I don't give a shit about your mom. I don't give a shit about getting the power back on."

"She did-does." she corrected herself hastily, pointing towards her aunt. "She cared enough to risk herself to make sure they had a chance to get down there. She told them to leave her and go because she wants the power on, knows that it has to be done. I'm not going to stand here and do nothing and allow her sacrifice to be in vain. I don't care about my mom either. At this point, I'd gladly hand her over to the Militia but this is what Nora wants and she would tell you the exact same thing if she was awake right now. We need to help them."

"There's nothing you can do for her now." one of the women said softly. Charlie turned her head to look at the group. The woman who had spoken was a petite redhead. Next to her, Liz nodded absently as her hands moved deftly to save Nora. "It would be best if you went and helped the others."

"Why? So the second I turn my back, you can ki-" he broke off, unable to finish the sentence.

"I wouldn't go through all this trouble. Trust me." Liz murmured. "Go help Rachel. She's going to need it."

"I thought you didn't want the power back on." Charlie accused.

"Don't assume everyone who has lived here wanted the same thing." the redhead chastised. "You cannot let those soldiers down to Level 12. We'll take care of the ones up here but it is up to you to stop them from getting through those doors."

* * *

Aaron looked extremely surprised to see them standing with himself and Rachel once the door sealed behind them. Rachel, if she felt compelled, would have been surprised as well. She glanced at her daughter and brother-in-law, noting their facial expressions and stance.

"Nora?" she asked hesitantly. Charlie whipped her head around and shot her a dark glare. Though no words were exchanged, the intent of her stare was clear: _Don't you dare speak her name to me. _

"Let's just get this done." Miles muttered, a hollow tone to his voice. They could slightly hear the muffled sounds of the Militia banging and yelling outside the door. "Do whatever the hell it is you have to do and get out of here."

Rachel led the way down the hall where the walls became floor to ceiling glass windows and doors. She turned into the door on the left where computers seemed to fill the entire room. They heard Aaron inhale a deep breath as he situated himself at the keyboard. Charlie stared out the window to the other room, unable to even look in the same direction as her mother, and tried to tune out the quiet commands Rachel was giving Aaron.

She allowed her eyes to wander over her uncle and felt an awful ache form in her chest. The look on his face killed her. This was not the Miles she had grown to know. She did not recognize the haunted expression that filled his face. He looked lost, like he wasn't sure which way was up or didn't have the ability to breathe. Even when Nora had been captured, he had managed to remain stoic and in control, and sometimes she saw him break when he though no one was looking. Now, everything was laid out for all to see. His mind was only on Nora and the obvious fear that he may be losing her, the guilt of not having protected her, and the guilt for not being with her right at that moment. She looked away from him, the frown deepening further on her face. The more she learned from Nora about their relationship and their history, the more she was amazed but this moment here floored her. She wondered what it would be like to have someone feel that way- to be so intertwined with each other, as though that person was the other half of you.

"It worked." Aaron breathed in surprise. They all looked at the large computer screen, watching as white blips began to fill the map and noted the return of electricity. Rachel turned to them, pleasure spreading along her features. Charlie glared in return, which made her mother's smile fade. Before anything else was said, they heard a gunshot from down the hallway. They moved warily out of the room and into the hall. Rachel stopped at the windows of the next room and frowned.

* * *

"Sir!" the private was out of breath as he rushed back towards Neville, who paced angrily in front of the door. He stopped immediately as he saw the young man approach and narrowed his eyes.

"I asked for the rest of those explosives Private Henderson."

"Yes sir it's just- it's General Monroe, sir. He's... escaped."

"What." the word was not a question, rather a low, menacing growl. The former major took a giant step forward and towered over Henderson.

"Captain Galloway went to check on him and realized he was gone, as are Lieutenant Peters, Captain Thompson, Corporal Sanders, and Captain Wayne. They... are apparently still loyal to him."

"Four men managed to sneak him out of the camp."

"I'm not certain sir. There may be others involved." Henderson muttered. Neville glowered for another few seconds, then swung around to face the several officers still with him.

"Come with me. We need to find them before they get too far."

"What about the Mathesons?" Sergeant McNally asked quietly. Neville observed him for a moment, then nodded at the door.

"You make sure they don't come out. Anderson, Young, you stay here as well." his gaze roamed over two others, then finally turned to Jason, who stared blankly across at him. "It's time to prove your loyalty son."

Once again looking at McNally, he added, "If he tries to help them, you shoot him. No questions."

Jason kept himself still, face blank, as he gazed coolly back at his father. The threat did not surprise him.

* * *

"Randall, what are you doing?"

"Launching ICBMs at Atlanta and Philadelphia."

There was a momentary pause on Miles's part. He hadn't been paying much attention to what Rachel and Randall had been talking about but he knew whatever the other man had planned wasn't good. Miles was trying to break the window simply because he should have. This was the man who had bought a nuclear bomb for the Republic. He needed to be stopped no matter what he was trying to do. But that statement. It lifted the fog that was surrounding Miles's thoughts. It took a second but his stomach plummeted like he was on a roller coaster.

_He has Alex. I saw him. He's in Philly. _

_Promise me that you'll find Alex. _

He raised the gun again, not thinking twice as he shot another five or six rounds at the window. He had to get in there, stop what was occurring. He knew all too well about those weapons, the destruction, and the loss of life that went with it. When Randall shot the launch button, Miles lowered the gun slightly, completely at a loss. Whatever plan he had would not work. He couldn't bully his way in to that room and force his hand to get what he wanted. It felt like the world was spinning off its axis. His son was in Philly. He was probably asleep right then, blissfully unaware of what was coming towards him. Probably wouldn't even wake up.

His stomach churned as he stared at the digital screen, watching the red lines steadily make their way across the country. He didn't flinch as Randall shot himself, in fact he had hardly noticed. He was too focused on the idea that he was going to lose Alex. Again. And probably Nora as well. _No. Pull yourself together and figure something out._

"There's got to be a way to get in there. How do we- Rachel, how do we get in?" he turned to her, heart pounding. He didn't know what to do. This wasn't his sort of thing. This whole Tower was Rachel's expertise. She should have the answers. Except, she stared into the room as the timer continued to count down and couldn't or wouldn't respond. "Rachel!"

"I-I don't know." she mumbled, shaking her head a little. His head whipped back to look at the clock. It was almost down to a minute at that point.

"Rachel, look at me." he reached over and seized her by the arm, jolting her out of her stupor. She tried to tug out of his grasp but he squeezed his fingers tighter around her and stared down with a wild gaze in his eyes. He wasn't going to lose Alex again. He refused. He barely made it through the last time, this time would surely kill him. "If you truly care about Alex, you'll get me in that room."

"He shot the control panel. We need to use the key card but it won't work. I don't know how else to get in."

His mouth curled in disgust and he released her, pushing her backwards roughly at the same time. He flung several punches at the glass, which did nothing except bruise his hands. All the while, the clock counted down, as though it was mocking him. Foolishly, he rammed the right side of his body into the window, hoping that would make the glass give way. He knew it was useless but he wasn't going to stand there and do nothing. Anything could break if you worked at it long enough. _Except you have less than thirty seconds. _He threw himself at the window one more time, then stole a glance at the map. The red trajectory line made contact with the marker for Philly, then one on course for Atlanta hit as well.

"Oh God, what did we do?" Aaron whispered.

"What- what just happened?" Charlie was confused. Rachel remained silent, not answering either questions. Miles hadn't heard them. His eyes were locked on the screen as his insides went numb. He braced his palm against the cracked window, unable to believe or comprehend what was going on. A low, animal-like moan bubbled up in his throat. He could only imagine the carnage that was the East Coast now, could only imagine—

His eyes hardened into a glare and his hand curled into a fist, which he threw viciously against the window.

* * *

Later, he barely listened as the Tower group explained how they had managed to keep the Militia from re-infiltrating the Tower. After Neville and his men had gone to find Bass, the Tower had put several of its people on security duty, blocking the entrance. At some point in the next few days, they would try and repair the blown cement. How they would accomplish that, Miles didn't know or care. He doubted Neville would return. There was nothing left for him at the Tower. He had wanted to stop Rachel and failed. He needed Bass alive in order to complete his overtaking of the Republic. His energies would be focused there for quite some time though Miles felt it was now useless since a portion of the Republic was in ruins.

He leaned forward onto the table he sat at and buried his head in his hands. He didn't want to think about the Republic or bombs or anything because that only led back to Nora and Alex. Everything led back to Nora and Alex. He felt as though he was splitting in two. The pain and grief he felt was crippling. With a groan, he pressed the heels of his hand further against his eye sockets, wishing he could block everything out.

To his left, he could hear Charlie and Jason whispering. The last time he had looked, they had been seated on a couch together, holding hands. Miles would begrudgingly admit that the kid had come through once again for them. Apparently he had just as fine a poker face as his father, because he had somehow managed to subdue two Militia officers before they had escaped the Level 12 room and Miles finished off the third. He was sure Neville hadn't expected that or he would have left more men with his son. Or finding Bass was more a priority than anything else. Maybe it had been stupid of Neville to trust Jason or maybe he had placed too much faith in the skills of his men.

"You look like you could use this." there was a soft thud on the table and he peeled his hands away long enough to see a steaming mug of coffee in front of his face. Liz had seated herself next to him and gazed across the table with the same gentle smile as before. "It's been a long day."

"I'm not in the mood for small talk. Is Nora-"

"She'll be fine. She's still considered critical for now, but things went well. From the looks of the tapes we reviewed, it looks like someone shot a coil gun, hit the wall, and the debris from the wall cut into her. I'm not thrilled with her blood count levels but we gave her a few transfusions. She'll probably need another two in the next day or so. Right now, I have her sedated. She needs time to recuperate. It's best if she heals the majority of it first, then we'll slowly bring her back to consciousness."

"Thank you." he murmured after a moment or two of silence. He kept his eyes downcast, unable to fight off the relief he felt. He shouldn't have been happy. It felt wrong to be happy when he didn't know for sure the state of his son's life but if he had lost Nora on top of it- he shook his head slightly, not wanting to dwell on the what ifs. "When can I see her?"

"Whenever you want to. We've got her settled in the infirmary." she tilted her head slightly, watching him with a careful eye. "Is there anything else I can help with?"

He pretended he didn't hear the question. He didn't want to ask this woman anything. She had swooped in out of nowhere, took control -yes he was grateful she saved his wife, but at what cost? Go help Rachel get the power on. He had to assume the group knew what was lurking on Level 12, had an inkling someone would try to set off those warheads. Now God only knew what was happening thousands of miles away.

He trusted no one in this building, besides Nora and Charlie. He would be happy when they could get the hell out, whenever that would be.

"Do you know the way back to the infirmary?" Liz caught his attention with her quiet question. He mustered a silent nod and pushed himself off the chair. He needed time alone anyway. If he got lost, he wouldn't give a shit.

He didn't get lost but he did hesitate outside the infirmary door, fingers grazing the doorknob as he tried to prepare himself for what waited inside. Finally, he stepped inside and scanned the two rows of empty beds until his eyes landed on Nora at the end. Someone had dimmed the lights, as though they didn't want to disturb her. The sight of the wires and tubes hooked up to her caught him off guard. He wasn't sure he would ever get used to the idea of having power, medicine, and technology again. As he made his way towards her, he felt angry at the group for having lived here all these years watching as the world decayed around them. All this time they had had these amenities, obviously great amenities seeing as the government had planned this as a bunker for the higher-up officials, and did nothing about it.

There was a chair in the corner of the room, against the wall, and he grabbed it so he could sit next to her. The legs scraped audibly along the tiled floor but he didn't care. He collapsed into the seat and allowed his eyes to wander over her and the machines that monitored her. A consistent, yet terrifyingly slow beep marked her heart rate and her chest barely rose with each breath she took. If it wasn't for those two signs, he would have thought she was dead. The barely healed bruises from Bass and the dark circles under her eyes contrasted against the pallor of her skin. He almost didn't want to look at her, as her injuries only seemed to remind him of his failures. Still, that wasn't enough to sway him from moving closer to her. One hand went to her cheek, brushed her hair off her face. The other reached for her hand, weaved their fingers together, and squeezed gently, letting her know he was there. He waited for her to squeeze back like always, even though he knew she wouldn't. Instead, her hand rested limply in his.

"I'm sorry."

And God knew he couldn't say that enough. He had a mile long list of things to apologize for. Leaving her, not getting back quick enough, deciding to follow Rachel rather than go for Alex. There was a small, twisted part of him that hoped she didn't wake up. He didn't want to have those conversations. The thought of having to tell her about their son sickened him. The thought of her predictable reaction only intensified the feeling. He flashed back to those awful weeks after Alex's birth, then the following months that had seen the breakdown of their relationship. He hadn't thought anything could have been worse but this was going to be. After everything they had gone through, the end result was right where they had started. It had been a complete waste of time and a tease. What had been the point of finding him only to have him snatched away so soon?

It was something Miles didn't want to think about, at least not yet. He knew he was going to have to. This wasn't something he could hide from Nora. Eventually she was going to need to know what had happened but the anticipated fallout scared him. The first time, they had coped terribly and turned away from each other. _Now you know what to do. You won't make the same mistakes as last time. _He snorted at the thought. The fact that he had to use the phrases 'first' and 'last time' made this all the more worse. Who had to go through losing their child twice?

_Things are going to be different. I'm not going to leave you, _he vowed silently as he lifted their joined hands and pressed a gentle kiss against her knuckles. He wasn't that person anymore. He refused to be that person again.


	34. Chapter 34

**October 2017- Five Years After the Blackout**

The house was filled with the sound of huffing and grumbling as Jeremy and Bass navigated a still weak Miles inside. Nora followed behind, shut the door, and dropped a couple bags under the bay window. They had finally left Trenton that morning after spending two weeks in the city. The stay had been partly due to Bass and his negotiations but it was mostly an attempt to allow Miles some time to heal before traveling again.

"Where do you want him?"

"Upstairs." Nora responded while Miles grunted, "The office."

Their friends exchanged a glance, unsure of who to obey. The couple stared each other down, waiting for the other to relent and rescind their answer.

"You're supposed to be resting." Nora said.

"Who are you, my mother? I can sit and read for a few hours." Miles argued.

"Then do it in bed."

"I've been in a bed for two weeks."

"Well, you're going to be in one for another few days."

Again, Bass and Jeremy looked at each other. The couple had fallen back into their routine so easily, it was as though their short separation had not existed. If either Nora or Miles were paying attention to the other two, they would have seen their silent, unanimous decision.

"Oh come on!" Miles exclaimed, his tone close to a whine as his friends started to hustle him upstairs to the bedroom.

"Sorry man, you know how she gets. It's not even worth the fight. Might as well surrender now and still come out with some of our dignity intact." Bass said. "She's right by the way. You need to take it easy for a while. We'll ease you back in, don't worry. Things are relatively calm right now. We don't need you."

"It's my goddamn militia. I need to be visible and working. I have things to do."

"Miles, either you agree or we'll knock you out and tie you down." Nora commented lightly.

"Hey now. No need to get kinky." Jeremy said, possibly only half joking. "What you do on your own time is fine but please don't involve us. There are some boundaries that even we don't cross."

"Who says we'd want you to join us?" Miles muttered sarcastically.

"As entertaining as this conversation is, can we continue it upstairs?" Nora asked.

"Oh God, I can say so many things." Jeremy snorted, giggling a little like an immature preteen.

"Shut up Jeremy." the other three chorused. Together they managed to corral Miles up into the master bedroom and deposited him onto the bed. He scowled at them as he shifted against the headboard, trying to find a comfortable position.

"I'll come by tomorrow." Bass told him quietly. "Give you some time to relax."

"Not sure when I'll drop by." Jeremy added.

"You- later rather than sooner would be a good idea." Miles responded. The other man gave a mock salute as he exited the room, squeezed Nora's shoulder on the way out. "We need to start getting posts set up in Jersey. If we wait too long, it'll pose a risk of us losing control of the area."

"I've been taking care of that. Don't worry about it."

"This is new territory. Of course I'm going to worry about it."

"Yeah, well being the leader gives me some perks. I can handle it. Just sit back and let this one take care of you."

"I'm not an invalid, just so the both of you know."

"Yeah, tell that to your gut. I have to check in with the others. Get some sleep. You look awful."

"I'd advise you to not look in a mirror if you're going to talk about looking awful." Miles muttered, rolling his eyes. The comment made Bass smirk but there was an underlying layer of relief in his expression. Miles was all too aware of it. During the past two weeks, Bass and Nora had looked like twins most of the time. Half the time, they looked like nervous wrecks and the rest of the time was spent acting as though every twinge, sneeze, and bitter glare Miles gave was a miracle.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah."

Bass nodded absently and stared to leave the room. He paused by Nora, tipping his head down towards her to speak quietly.

"If you need me, just send a messenger over."

"Thanks Bass." she laid her hand gently on his back, guiding him out the door. "Just lock the door on your way out."

"Will do." he gave a wave as he headed down the stairs. She lingered in the doorway of her bedroom until she heard the door shut softly. Then, she turned her focus on her husband.

"I'm going to go grab that pain medication Hannigan gave you. Do you want anything else while I'm down there?"

"I don't want it. I'm fine."

"He said every six hours."

"Guy barely graduated from med school. I think I'll know when I need it better than his estimates."

"Would you just-" she started just as he snapped, "Nora-"

They both cut off, looked away from each other, and lapsed into an awkward silence. Not even a minute alone and they were already squabbling. This marked the first time they had been completely alone since their short meeting in the stables before departing for Trenton. Any point they had been alone together while in Trenton had been cut short by Bass, Hannigan, the two nurses, and anyone else who seemed to feel they needed to see Miles at that specific time.

The first few days, he had mostly slept and barely talked. Once he was ready to talk, she avoided the topic of their relationship. She wanted to ignore the idea they had been separated for two weeks and focus on getting him healed. She wasn't going to pretend they weren't having problems or roll over and allow him to revert to his usual attitude. They needed a change and that was going to happen. There was a time and a place for things and that time was not now. Their struggles were important but it was more important to overcome those momentarily to show she was there for him when he needed her.

His injury had been a wake-up call and also reaffirmed what she had figured out before leaving for the campaign. No matter what happened, she still loved him. She couldn't simply walk away from him. There was too much history between them. Even if, they did eventually part ways, there would always some tie holding them together. She wasn't ready to do that though and highly doubted she ever would be.

Maybe she was a fool and this would all be for nothing but she had to try. She had told him she couldn't- didn't know what to do anymore, but she had been wrong. The separation had rejuvenated the fight in her and she was willing to do whatever it took to keep their marriage afloat. The woozy promise of change he had given after his surgery had sparked interest in her. He had used the two weeks to reevaluate their life just like she had. The pessimist inside told her it was the meds talking and not to hold her breath. Yet, during the past several days, he was the one who continued to press the issue and she skirted around it. She wondered if her stalling was some subconscious effort on her part to see if he was serious about everything. It didn't seem like he would be backing down any time soon, which helped fuel the sincerity behind his actions.

"I'm sorry." his voice was quiet and the apology sounded slightly forced, as if grinding out the words was a physical effort. She kept her face neutral, even though she was surprised. An honest to God apology from Miles was a rarity these days.

"Just trying to take care of you." she replied, crossing her arms over her chest. She leaned against the door, using half the room as a barrier between them.

"I know."

"But you're right, you know better than I do how you're feeling. When you want it, it'll be there. I'll be downstairs. Just yell if you need anything."

"Wait, Nor-" he stopped as she disappeared from his line of sight. He stared out the door into the hallway, then banged his head back into the headboard.

* * *

She poked her head in a couple hours later and was relieved to find him asleep. The fact that he was sleeping showed how weak he still was. She didn't remember the last time or rather if she had ever even seen him sleep during the day. Even if he pulled an all nighter out on a battlefield or filling out paperwork, he would stay awake until the following night.

This was a dangerous situation they were in. As much as she wanted to coddle him, she knew he didn't want it. He hated any indication that he was weak and would try to endure as much pain as possible, as though that proved something. In her opinion, it only proved he was an idiot. He would push himself to his breaking point before accepting help. However, this wasn't a normal cut or a cold. She couldn't obey his wishes when she knew there were specific things that needed to be done in order for him to heal properly and remain in good health.

She sat on the edge of their bed and let her eyes wander over him. She knew if she tried moving the blanket and his shirt, he would wake up and probably start arguing with her. Hannigan's parting words rang in her ears. The wound had to be cleaned and bandaged regularly or there was the possibility for an infection. She glanced at his side, then leaned over, and touched his forehead gently.

"What are you doing?" he muttered, voice still drowsy from sleep.

"Making sure you don't have a fever."

"Think you just like touching me."

"There's that too." her hand slipped down to his cheek as his eyes opened and he blinked tiredly at her. "How are you feeling?"

He shrugged in response as he turned his head to kiss her palm.

"That's not an answer."

"Not one you like."

"Good to see Sassy Miles is making a comeback." she teased lightly. He gave a small nod while she noticed the tension in his jaw. "Please take the pain meds."

"Fine."

"Okay. I'll be right back." she left the room and was back a few minutes later. Once he had taken the medication, he tried to sit up but she put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. "I want to check your side."

"It's fine."

"It hasn't been changed since we left Trenton."

"Are we seriously going to do this?"

"I don't want to but if you insist on being a stubborn jackass about it, I'm going to. You weren't the one listening to Hannigan's regiment on getting this thing to heal."

"Could have gotten a nurse."

"You said no when that was suggested. And honestly, if we had one, they wouldn't be able to stand up to you. All you'd have to do is glare and they'd let you go into septic shock. Unfortunately for you, I'm not as easy to deter. Stop being such a baby. It won't even take me ten minutes."

He opened his mouth to retort but remained silent as his conscience jumped in and reminded him _you said you weren't going to do this with her. You were going to try harder. _She correctly interpreted his silence as consent and got to work.

"Okay," she pulled his shirt back into place and stood from the bed. "I'm going to get dinner started. I'll check in on you."

"Hold on a minute."

"It's getting late."

"It's not even dark yet." he pointed out. She looked trapped and the one corner of his mouth lifted in a lazy smirk. "Why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not avoiding you. I've been here. Every day."

"You can be here and still not _be here_. Y'know what I mean?"

"God, give you one near death experience, and you think you have all of life's answers."

"No, I just know what you avoiding me looks like."

"I think you should worry about getting back on your feet before we delve into our problems. You need time to-"

"All I've had is time. No one will let me do anything. I've had plenty of time to think things over. You have too. You said after Trenton we'd talk about this."

"Yeah, that was before you went and got shot."

"Look, you know me. You know it takes a lot to get me to open up. I'm trying to lay it all out there and you keep refusing to listen."

"That's not true."

"Unless you're fussing over my injury, you're not in the room. I'm not going to bite."

She snorted at this and he rolled his eyes, saying, "Would you at least give me a chance to plead my case?"

"Fine make it." she sat on the edge of the bed and crossed her arms over her chest. He stared at her, suddenly quiet. "Cat got your tongue?"

"I realized how much of a dick I have become. You were... right that night when you said I always expected you to be waiting here for when I wanted you and that's not right. I don't know how things got so off track but I'm sorry. When I got shot, I... I was more pissed at the idea that I wasn't going to be able to tell you these things." he cleared his throat, glancing off to the side. "I never wanted this, us, a relationship in general, or expected it to happen. I was happy with the way things were going, and then you showed up."

"Technically, _you _showed up."

"Whatever. All I'm saying is you changed how I viewed things and—holy shit, I sound like a freaking Hallmark card."

"No, no, this is good. Keep going."

"I love you. I never wanted to hurt you. That is the last thing I would ever intentionally try to do. I acted like I could do this all on my own, pretended like I was cocky enough to not need anyone else but the truth is, you're a huge factor in so many ways and I don't give you any credit. You don't deserve the shit I put you through and I can give every excuse and apology in the book but it's not going to change what I've done. But I can try harder and I'm going to. Being without you and realizing how hurt you were and how serious you were made me realize I came real close to losing you. I don't want that and karma, God, whatever decided to give me a swift kick in the ass by nearly killing me and making the decision for me. I was taking things for granted, let you think you weren't good enough, let you think I didn't love you, went to bed angry. I don't want that. I don't want another Trenton and worrying that there's too much left unsaid between us if something were to happen."

There was a bout of silence as they gazed at each other. He rubbed a hand over the top of his head and added, "So there, I've said what I wanted to say and that's all there is."

"It was raw and heartfelt."

"Glad you think so. You won't get another confession like this for at least another five years."

She smiled slightly as she leaned in and kissed him. One of his hands immediately came up to cup the back of her head, fingers winding through her hair.

"I'm sorry too." she mumbled, pressing her forehead against his. "I kept thinking that maybe I was being too harsh."

"No, don't do that. You were right. You deserved to call me out on my bullshit."

"Yeah, but that morning in the stables, you tried to apologize and I was being stubborn. I sat in the clinic, thinking you were dead, and was so mad at myself. I could have forgiven you and I let that opportunity go by. If... if you had, I..." she shook her head, breaking off with a sigh. "Hell of a wake up call, huh?"

"That's one way of putting it."

"You know I'm going to hold you to all of this, right?"

"I was counting on it."

"I'm serious. The first sign of your garbage and I won't hesitate to freak out on you."

"I believe you."

"We still have a lot to talk about."

"I know." he reached for her hand, trailed his thumb over the top of her wedding band. "It'd be nice to have a clean start, after everything."

"We can't just ignore this."

"And we won't. We've gone through a valuable lesson. _I've _gone through a valuable lesson. I'm just saying, I think a lot of people try a separation and not many come through it stronger and better."

"True."

"So, then, would you... y'know, want to marry me again? Technically, probably for the first time. I still don't think what Bass did was legal. I never did give you the big wedding that I promised once things settled down. It's been two and a half years but better late than never I suppose."

"We don't have to do that."

"I know we don't have to."

"But you want to?"

He shrugged, keeping his eyes locked on hers, "Like I said, a clean start would be nice."

"It would be nice." she agreed softly. A smile started to form on her face and she turned her hand upward, locking their fingers together. "No one can accuse you of not being romantic."

"Yeah, well, don't spread it around. If anyone asks, it was your idea."


	35. Chapter 35

A/N: I don't usually post these but I felt the need to apologize for the lack of updates from me! It's been a very busy month and I've been trying to squeeze in writing time when I can. I plan on putting up several chapters in the next few days to make up for the lost time :)

Also, as if this story wasn't straying from canon as it was, we are now in full non-canon territory.

* * *

Charlie could not imagine living in the Tower for fifteen years. They had only been down there two, maybe three days- she was losing track of the time- and she was feeling claustrophobic and antsy. She missed sunlight, fresh air, seeing the trees. The trek to Philadelphia had been harrowing but right now, she would have given anything to be out on the open, overgrown road where anything could happen. The Tower was too stagnant and too sterile. On top of those reasons, the place felt like a cage. In her opinion, only a few things were worse than being trapped in an underground maze with her mother.

For the most part, she had managed to avoid her. Either she spent time hidden away with Jason or sat silently at Miles's side. Even if Charlie was in plain sight, Rachel seemed to keep her distance or wasn't around. If Charlie had bothered to care, she would have wondered what her mother was up to. She may have even questioned her. Now, she would have been happy if her mother disappeared once more.

At the moment, Charlie was with Miles, who kept a watchful eye over Nora, as though she were about to jump up and run or disappear into thin air. She tried not to look at Nora- it was too painful to see her severely injured and hooked up to the strange machines. She tried not to look at Miles- it was too painful to see his sleepless, scruffy self hunched over the bed and clearly distraught over the current state of their lives.

"I'm going to get something to eat." she said softly, catching his attention. He moved his head in a silent nod and scrubbed one hand over his eyes. The other seemed permanently glued to Nora's. "I'm going to bring you something back."

"No." his voice was more gravelly than usual and he cleared his throat. "No, I'll... I'll be out in a few minutes."

She cocked her head to the side in a silent observance. After a moment, she gave a nod, and mumbled, "Okay. I'll see you out there."

She shut the door to the infirmary quietly and began to make her way through the winding halls back to the dining room. She had quickly learned her way around Level 11. Half of it was offices and the other half were apartments with a shared dining room and recreational room. She supposed she should have used the word apartments loosely. They were more like dorm rooms, or so Aaron had said, as they stood in the doorway of one earlier at some point. They were barren and sterile, just like the rest of the Tower, with a simple desk, bookcase, and a set of bunk beds. A door in each led to a bathroom, typically shared between two rooms.

"Charlie,"

She was determined to keep on walking and ignore her mother. She had been doing a fine job of it up until then and she could continue to do so. This did not deter Rachel, as she continued to follow her daughter down the hall.

"I want to talk." she said quietly. The statement elicited a snort from the younger woman, who still did not turn around.

"There's a first."

"How's Nora?"

"What do you really want?"

"Like I said, to talk. I'd like it if you stopped and did that."

"I'd like a lot of things from you but I haven't gotten any of that either."

"Charlie," Rachel's tone turned slightly cold, as if warning her that she was about to cross some unwritten line. Her daughter picked up on that and laughed, finally stopping and turning to face her.

"Do not try and play the mom role okay? You and I both know that that is not who you are, at least not for me. You were never there for me and when you finally had that chance, you pissed it away. I am done. I don't want to hear the excuses anymore."

"There's so much that you don't know."

"And who's fault is that? Yours! Every question I have ever asked has been answered one of two ways: 'not right now' or 'you wouldn't understand'. I'm convinced that you don't have the answers or I'm not going to like them. At this point, it's not even worth it."

"Well, please listen to me now. I'm leaving and I want you to come with me. Whatever you want to know, I will tell you but I want you to come with me."

"You're leaving." she repeated flatly. Rachel gave a short nod and crossed her arms over her chest. "Where are you going?"

There was a moment of hesitation on Rachel's part, which made Charlie's expression harden.

"Off to a great start." she huffed. "Forget it. I don't care. I'll be happier with you gone."

"Charlie."

"Stop. Just stop. The only reason you're even doing this is because Danny and Alex are gone. I finally made it to the top of your priorities but only as a last resort."

"I know it seems that way, but it's not. Charlie, you're the one I never had to worry about. You were always so self-sufficient and headstrong. You never needed me."

"I always needed you. I needed a mom. I wasn't a mini-adult. You threw that onto me. I was a kid and I had more responsibilities than I should have had and the sad thing is is that I thought that was normal. But not anymore. I don't need you and I don't want you. I'm not going anywhere with you."

"This could be a second chance."

"You had that opportunity. No more."

"I'm your mother."

"It doesn't matter. You don't care so I won't either."

"I do care."

"You won't even tell me where you're going!" Charlie let out an incredulous laugh. "How can you stand there and say you want to start over and things are going to be different when you're just as secretive as you always have been?"

"I will tell you but I can't right now."

"No. I don't trust you. Do you know how messed up that is that I don't trust my own mother?"

"You can trust me."

"For how long? Until I get hurt on the road and you decide something is more important?"

"That's not fair. I would never leave you."

"You're doing it now! You did it eight years ago and you did it three months ago! That's all you know how to do!"

"Do you think I wanted to do that? Both times I left, it was because of you. I left eight years ago to protect you from Miles. He threatened to hurt you and Danny if I didn't go to him and give him what answers he wanted. He kept me as a prisoner for years Charlie."

"I don't believe you."

"Ask him yourself."

"If you were a prisoner, how did become involved in Alex's life?" Charlie retorted. Rachel remained silent for a moment, which only infuriated Charlie more. "It's not so easy to lie to me now is it? I'm not that naïve, little girl anymore. I actually can tell when something is wrong with your stories."

"There's a lot you don't understand."

"Surprise, surprise."

"If you come with me, I promise things are going to be different."

"Why do you need to leave so bad? What makes you think I would voluntarily want to come with you? You left Nora to die and you left me to deal with it."

"Charlie, the power was more important at that point and Nora knew it. Sometimes there are sacrifices that need to be made and she understood that. When she wakes up, she's going to tell you the same thing. None of us are holding any grudges so you shouldn't either."

"Except you didn't leave her to turn the power back on."

"There was nothing I could have done."

"You could have tried. You could have put yourself at risk, just like she has for me and for Danny, and tried. There was nothing we could have done when Don or Dan or whatever and his weirdo group didn't fall for the tripwire and she still tried. She was willing to do whatever it took to make things work when she has absolutely no reason to help you whatsoever. She hasn't done anything to you. She's been helping you. If anything, _she _should be the one turning against _you._"

"The world doesn't work like that."

"Not for you. That's what decent people do, especially for their family. But you don't do that, right? You don't think Aaron didn't tell me what happened on your journey? If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I would wonder how you could be such a cold and heartless bitch." Charlie snapped. Rachel's eyes narrowed at the insult.

"She's not my family and she's not yours either." she responded calmly, deciding to ignore the last part of the statement.

"No, that's where you're wrong. She is my family and more so than you are."

"Charlie, they are driving a wedge between us."

"You're doing that just fine on your own."

"Come with me and things will change. Once we are on our way, I will tell you everything. Right now, it's too risky to talk."

"Why is it too risky to talk?" Charlie frowned and crossed her arms. "Are you afraid someone might hear you?"

"There are certain things that don't need to be discussed at the moment."

"What are you hiding?"

"Nothing. It's just... not safe."

"Where are you going?"

"Charlie,"

"I won't give you any consideration if you don't give me the slightest hint as to what you're talking about. Where are you going?"

"Cincinnati." Rachel responded after a moment's hesitation.

"What's so special about there that you don't want anyone overhearing it? The power is on. Looks like Monroe's been stopped by Neville. The only thing that could be important to you is-" she trailed off as it hit her. "I can't believe you."

"Charlie,"

"Alex is there, isn't he?"

"I'm leaving in half an hour. Meet me at the elevators."

"He is. You don't want Miles knowing he's alive."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"You're trying to keep him away. You're doing exactly what you did when he was born. You're trying to make him think he's dead. Plus, you just made it very clear what your plans are. You want me to come so you have help getting there but once you have him, I'll be out of the picture."

"I know that I have made mistakes but you need to learn to trust me. It's going to be hard but this is our chance to work on that."

"No, that's exactly why I don't trust you. You're manipulative and I refuse to take part in this. I know you and I know you're hellbent on doing what you want. If I were you, I'd leave now because I'm telling Miles and you'll need a head start. If not, you'll have to drug me and lock me in a closet to stop me from talking."

She took off down the hallway before Rachel could even react and nearly ran headfirst into her uncle as she rounded the corner close to the infirmary.

"Whoa, why are you in such a rush?" he put his hands on her shoulders to steady her. Immediately, she launched into the story and with each passing moment, his expression morphed into a venomous scowl.

* * *

At least he could be thankful for feeling something other than complete hopelessness and despair. Now, he was pissed. He could feel his anger simmering as he hastily threw a bag of supplies together. In twenty minutes, everything had been turned upside down. Now it was a race to see who would get there first and Rachel, taking Charlie's warning to leave, currently had the advantage.

He figured he should have known. She hadn't seemed very affected by the launch of the bombs. She had been disgusted but that had been because two cities had been destroyed. Her lack of concern and inability to get into the launch room hadn't been brought on by shock and grief. She didn't care because she knew the entire time Alex was not in danger whatsoever. Everyone else didn't matter to her.

It seemed like such a Rachel move to use a major attack as a cover to slip away and steal Alex again. His fingers gripped a bottle of water tightly, nearly cracking the plastic. She fully intended to let them think he was dead again. He wondered if Bass was heading in that direction as well. One, big, fucked up family.

"Here, I found these." Charlie appeared at Miles's side and tossed down a box of ammo. Jason lingered behind her, armed with his own weapon. "A couple locked cabinets in some of the offices. Found two handguns too."

"Thanks," he holstered both the guns, making her frown.

"One of them is mine."

"You don't need one in here."

"I'm coming with you."

"No you're not."

"Miles,"

"Charlie, I don't have time to argue with you." the expression on his face must have been serious because her mouth snapped shut immediately. Even though he could see her annoyance at being left behind, she didn't fight him again. "I need you here in case Nora wakes up before I get back. I don't want her to be alone."

"You're going by yourself?"

"No." Miles looked towards Jason- a silent order for the younger man, who gave an understanding nod. "He knows where we're going."

"I don't understand. Why Cincinnati?"

"It's one of the major cities of the Republic; a capital, if you want to describe it that way. Boston is for New England, Philly was the main one obviously. Cincinnati is a central command for that area. It holds one of the larger bases for the Militia and we would stay there when we had business to conduct. It was a stand-by city, ready to take over as the capital of the Republic if we needed it to. Same goes for Boston."

"What do you mean?"

"If we felt Philly wasn't safe, we would head to one of those. Nora and I went to Boston once or twice but it was rare."

"Monroe never left the city. If he did, it was just to go to the surrounding camps to see what was going on." Jason said quietly. "My mom went to Cincinnati with Alex a few times. The city came close to being attacked or whatever he thought was a threat. He sent Alex with my mom and an armed guard. They would stay maybe two, three weeks, then come back. Monroe was paranoid. He never wanted anything to happen to Alex. The kid was under lock and key constantly. He wanted him as far away as possible but in the safest environment. He didn't like sending him to Boston. The one time he did, there was an attack. Alex was almost kidnapped."

"At some point before Monroe left, he sent Alex there. He most likely told Rachel this while he had her captive in order to gain her help." Miles added.

"How do you know that? I mean, I know she's going there for him but how do you know all that?" Charlie asked.

"I don't but I know how Monroe works. He wouldn't leave Alex alone in the city that is ready to turn against him and he was going to want your mother back on his good side and the incentive was going to have to be good enough to make her want to help." Miles started for the door and glanced at Jason as he passed by. "I want to leave in ten minutes. Kiss her goodbye, meet me at the elevator."

If they hadn't been in such a tense situation, he was sure Charlie would have been scowling at him to try and cover her embarrassment and Jason would have been spluttering and stammering over his words. Instead, they both remained silent and didn't so much as move towards each other as he left the bedroom. The walk to the infirmary only took him a few minutes. Once inside, he sat down on the edge of Nora's bed and stared at her, unsure of what to do next. In the time he had sat with her, he hadn't said a word. It always struck him as ridiculous when he heard of people talking to loved ones in comas but right now, he had the inexplicable urge to unleash the events of the past two days on her unconscious form.

"I'm going to get him back." he whispered, voice barely audible. "I promise I will. He's going to be here when you wake up."

He leaned in, almost hesitantly, and placed a light kiss against her mouth. The lack of response killed him. She was always eager, teasing, or willing to reciprocate. Now there was nothing. He waited a moment or two before pulling away. He kept his eyes open, watching for the slightest hint of the flutter of her eyelids like they were in one of those damn princess movies Charlie used to watch.

_"Because I'm not Prince Charming or whatever. This wouldn't be some grand love affair."_

_"I'm not the romantic type."_

The distant memory forced an ache to form in his chest. He pulled away enough to lean his forehead against hers and shut his eyes momentarily. _Please don't leave me. _He kissed her forehead as he straightened up, then left the room quietly.

As requested, Jason was standing at the elevator as Miles turned the corner. Charlie was nowhere in sight, which surprised him. He had expected one last argument from her.

"Ready?" he asked gruffly. Jason nodded twice and tugged at the strap of the bag on his back. "Alright, let's go."


	36. Chapter 36

**August 2018- Six Years After the Blackout**

"Where's Miles?"

Bass lifted his head from the maps he was studying and stared at Nora standing across from him. He met her eye momentarily, then allowed his own to sweep over her body quickly. She was in jeans- shorts were impractical, even though it was ninety degrees out- and a tank top. Her arms were crossed under her breasts, pushing them up and exaggerating her cleavage. He was sure she wasn't doing it on purpose- just the way she liked to stand at times, especially when something was bothering her... like Miles's sudden disappearance.

"He walked out a while ago." he finally responded, eyes traveling back to hers. There was a slight frown on her face and her arms dropped. She had noticed his ogling. "Not sure where he went. Why?"

"I was looking for him. Never mind."

"I could help you if you want."

"Not something you can help me with." she flashed a quick smile. "Didn't need help anyway. I just wanted to talk to him."

"Right." he dropped into a chair and leaned his head back against the top. The chair swiveled slightly as he stared her down. She shifted her stance, backing up slightly towards the door. "Have you been out there?"

"It's quiet."

"Good. Maybe the bastards learned their lesson." he reached for the glass sitting on the edge of the desk and took a long sip. He continued to watch her over the rim of the glass. "Ungrateful little shits, all of them."

"These things happen all the time."

"Not to us. You know, I'd say we're doing pretty damn good, wouldn't you?" he set his drink on the arm of the chair, ran a finger over the top.

"Yeah, Bass, I'd say so. Look, I'm going to go find Miles. I'll talk to you later."

"Hang on," he started but she left, shutting the door behind her. He frowned at the empty space she left, noting the tension in the air. She had been... uncomfortable. That was the word he was looking for. The thought only made him frown even more. She was uncomfortable with him? He hadn't done anything. _Except leer at your best friend's wife. _**I wasn't leering**_**, **_he argued weakly. Perhaps his gaze lingered longer than it should have. _Shouldn't have been gazing at all. _He stared at the glass. It was the alcohol. He had been drinking too much since the cease fire.

Except it wasn't the alcohol. This had been brewing since a year before, since the day Miles had been shot and Nora had smiled comfortingly, told him they were family. He was like a lost puppy. Someone only had to bestow the slightest amount of attention on him and he became clingy.

* * *

The Militia had taken over the streets surrounding Baltimore's inner harbor. The past two days had been filled with fighting a mix of inept civilians and some Georgian armies who were trying to push their borders north. At the moment, there was a cease fire. How long that would last, Nora didn't know. She weaved her way through the soldiers, trying to get a glimpse of Miles. They had converted the old Baltimore Convention Center into their central command. She stood on the sidewalk, looking up and down the street. If she was Miles, where would she go? Away from everyone and the compliments and adoration his men were sure to give. The majority of the troops were stationed close to the water, though they had formed a tight perimeter stretching in all directions.

In the end, she turned to her left, where there was less Militia activity. Along the way, she stopped and questioned several people, who let her know that they had seen Miles. Finally, she wound up at Oriole Park. The gate that blocked the famed Eutaw Street had been broken down, likely years before. The old warehouse to the left had smashed windows and vines crawling up the side of the building. Weeds sprouted up the sidewalk, hiding the home run plaques that dotted the cement. It dawned on her that she had come here once on a trip with her father to visit an old friend of his, when she was about twelve or thirteen. She had forgotten all about that. Curiosity got the best of her and she stepped inside the gate. A muffled crack caught her attention, then a few seconds later, another. She walked until she could see over the wall surrounding the field and saw the lone figure standing where home plate should have been. Even three or four hundred feet away- whatever it was, she didn't know the exact distance- she knew it was Miles.

The grass on the field was overgrown and the infield dirt was now gone. She watched for a minute as he tossed baseballs up and swung at them. He missed a couple but most were hit towards the left side of the field. She looked around, trying to find some way down onto the field, then started to head towards the section entrances on the first base line. Eventually, she managed to find her way into the seats that were behind the dugout.

"What are you doing?" she climbed up onto the roof of the dugout and stood with her hands on her hips. He glanced at her, then reached into the dirtied bucket for another baseball. The ball went up, he swung the bat as hard as he could, and the ball sailed towards the shortstop position. It disappeared into the grass and weeds and landed with a soft thump. At his lack of response, she climbed off the dugout and shimmied her way over the low wall to the field. She walked towards him, trying not to think of the ticks working their ways up her legs, and swiped at the bucket.

"Nora-"

"Bet you'll hit a lot better with someone throwing them at you." she continued to the pitcher's mound and picked up a ball, tossed it up and down experimentally. He scowled at her over the plate and pressed the top of the bat into the ground. "Oh come on. Don't be such a baby. Unless you're afraid you won't be able to hit."

The challenge had been issued. She smirked as he lifted the bat to his shoulder, waiting for her to throw. The first pitch landed about twenty feet short of him.

"Yeah, you're right. I won't be able to hit it."

"Pretty sure I'm not Andy Pettite."

"Didn't know you were a Yankees fan."

"He played for Houston too." she moved somewhat closer and lobbed another ball at him. It was a grounder to third base. "That would have been an out."

"It would have been a single at best."

"You hit it right to the bag. Had someone been standing there, they would have caught that."

He grunted it annoyance and wiped the sweat off his forehead. His uniform shirt had been removed and was thrown over the railing of the dugout, leaving him in a gray t-shirt that was drenched. The next hit flew up in a high arc, landing somewhere in the outfield.

"Didn't know beauty queens could pitch."

"Beauty queens can play too."

"You're a woman of many talents."

"Well, you knew that already."

They continued to play, his swings getting more fierce with each pitch until she told him there were no more balls left. The sun was beginning to set and had dipped down below the the top of the stadium. The heat was still nearly unbearable.

"I'm not hunting for all these. It'll take forever." she said. The grass was up to her knees. It would have been like trying to find Easter eggs. "What did you do, break into their clubhouse?"

"Guess bats and baseballs aren't useful nowadays."

"We could pelt people with them."

Her humor was apparently not appreciated as he turned his back on her. He stood with one hand on his hip, the other gripped the handle of the bat tightly, as he stared up at the seats behind home plate. There was a sizzle in the air that had nothing to do with the heat and everything to do with his tension. Without warning, he flung the bat at the dugout railing with a yell. The sound of wood against metal reverberated through the empty space. She didn't flinch or react in any way really. She counted to fifty, then moved towards him.

"What the fuck are we doing?" he asked quietly. She shook her head, unsure of the answer. The fighting had been brutal. There was no doubt about it. It had been one of- if not the worst- battles she had witnessed. They still might not have been finished. She didn't know why this time was different. They had fought before. People died. She told herself it was nothing- as if she could rationalize killing and conquering as nothing- and that it had to do with this being the first major campaign since Trenton the year previously.

This wasn't just nothing though. It was the first time they hadn't fought a settlement, at least not on such a grand scale. After the blackout, Baltimore had become a free-for-all. There was no guidance, no leader. It was an every man for himself situation and it was a dangerous area to be. Bass had persisted trying to gain the land, wanting the access to the harbor. It was a waste to let it fall into despair when it was prime real estate. Apparently, Georgia had the same idea. With the citizens of Baltimore being pushed at from both sides, they had snapped, and fought back, unwilling to give up the unbridled lifestyle they had become accustomed to.

This had been brewing for quite some time. In May, they had sent a troop down to survey the area, and only one officer survived the fighting. Bass had been livid. In Nora's opinion, his anger had been geared more towards the idea that an untrained, ragtag group had managed to take out his men rather than the actual loss of the men. As much as he talked about wanting the harbor, she thought his wounded pride was more of the reason for the campaign. He wanted to prove that they were the superior power of the East Coast and everyone better fall in line and comply. She thought nearly losing Miles back in September also added fuel to the fire.

Miles had agreed, only to gain the land. He didn't like the idea of Georgia pushing their boundaries closer to Philadelphia. They had gained land and negotiated plenty of times. They could do this somewhat peacefully. But who was there to negotiate with and how bad was the area? As much as he tried to insist they take the least number of casualties, Bass had been ready to bomb the area and start over with a clean slate.

That had led to their spat which had consisted of the lines _Go fuck yourself, this is why I was the better Marine. You were always ready to have a pissing match. This is my Militia. Why don't you stay home and sign some more laws into action- _courtesy of Miles. On Bass's part was _Since when did you become such a pussy and let people walk all over you? You're going to lead them to a slaughter. What kind of message are we sending that we let our civilians fight back against us? We need to contain the situation._

Jeremy had openly wondered if there had been a body switch at some point in the night. Bass had threatened to ship him to Canada. It was an odd scenario though with Bass being so gung-ho and Miles keeping his distance. At one point when they were alone, Nora had questioned Miles's decision and was told they needed to be careful. It was obvious it was a dangerous situation but there was no need to annihilate a whole section of the country. A violent overtaking would only cause problems for them in the long run.

She didn't think Miles, who was the King of Pessimism, had expected it to be this bad. As much as he tried to keep his cool, his buttons were easily pressed, they were losing men left and right, and Bass was hissing beside him, reminding him of the massacre of their troop and his injury in Trenton. All hell had clearly broken loose- or rather General Matheson had broken loose- and soon they were looking at blood filled streets, severe injuries, and a high number of casualties.

"I don't know how it got so out of control." he said softly some time later. By this point, the sun had set and the stadium had turned pitch black. They were sitting on top of the dugout next to each other. She sat up straight, feet planted on the rooftop, and wrapped her arms around her knees. He stretched out next to her, propped up on an elbow and his head brushed against her arm.

"Nothing you can do about it now." she replied with a careful, steady tone in her voice. The admission had caught her off guard. She wasn't used to Miles questioning his decisions. But she understood where he was coming from. She had become desensitized over the years. If she wanted to do her job, she'd have to. He told her often that it would be okay- easier on his conscience and he'd stop worrying so much- if she decided to put on a fancy dress and sit at home all day, smiling at the citizens of Philly. That didn't excite her as much as a good hunt did. She kept herself going by thinking she was doing some good in the world, even if it wasn't exactly good, but eventually it was going to be worth it. Now, she couldn't shake the feeling that coming to Baltimore had been a mistake. She added softly, "It's the same as always."

"No." he shook his head at that and she could imagine the frown on his face without even looking at him. "No, this was different."

"I know."

"It was too much."

"Yeah."

"They weren't... some of them weren't even fighting. It wasn't like going into a battle." he fell silent and she tilted her head down. He was holding his left hand up in front of his face, turning his palm to and fro, as if he could still see the blood he had accumulated over the past couple days. "It wasn't supposed to be like this."

He paused, inhaled a deep breath as she ran her fingers through his hair, and continued, "I feel like ever since Trenton, everything has been going downhill."

She took a moment to consider the statement and unfortunately had to agree. They could call Baltimore an isolated incident all they wanted but the truth was their well thought out republic was beginning to show signs of aging and wear and tear. Some reports were coming in from the western states of citizens not being as cooperative as usual, soldiers acting rashly and inappropriately. That had pissed Miles off to no end. The latest batch of recruits had received a stricter training and troops were being given new missions or being punished.

"Maybe we need to change some things." she said quietly. "Maybe, maybe not be so... defensive. Didn't you say that eventually, things would calm down and we wouldn't have to be so forceful?"

"What if it's too late for that?"

"You're in charge. You could do whatever you want."

It was only partially true. She didn't know how Bass would react to changing their tactics, especially with his new found attitude.

"Sometimes I think we went about this the wrong way." he muttered. "Or shouldn't have done it at all."

"I think it's okay to feel conflicted at times but in the long run, I think deciding to do the Republic was a good thing. It's given stability to people."

"And now they're throwing it back in our faces."

"You need to listen to them. You need to try new things. It's... it's gotten out of hand at times."

He didn't respond to that. She knew he had a lot on his mind and it was evident he was feeling guilty. No point in adding to it.

"Should we be getting back?"

"Are you worried?"

"No. I'm armed. You're armed. The others might get worried."

"Bass knows we can handle ourselves." he muttered. He hesitated then asked, "Did you hear what they've been saying out there? 'The Butcher of Baltimore'?"

"I was hoping you hadn't heard it."

"Why? Did you start it?" he asked. She shoved his head gently, huffing in annoyance. "It was a bloodbath. I... I never wanted that to happen."

She was grateful for his honesty. They had worked hard to get to this point over the past year. Even if he was still gruff and a bastard in public, he talked more to her. The first few months were the most difficult but now, he was offering up information without her having to pry.

"I can't let this happen again. The bullshit, the complaints, the accusations, it's too much already. It needs to stop before this gets out of control. We've worked to hard to let it fall apart so soon."

"You'll figure it out. You always do."

He straightened himself up so they were eye to eye and leaned in to kiss her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, hands splayed over his shoulders, and felt the tension in his muscles. This really had upset him. As hard as Miles tried to be the tough general, in the end, he wanted to take care of people. Instead at least a hundred were dead because of his hand or orders.

She got the feeling that just as Trenton had been a turning point in their personal lives, Baltimore was going to be a turning point in their professional lives.


End file.
